Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Khloe Kardashian Checks into Jail

Tranny Kardashian was taken into custody this morning to serve her 30-day sentence for parole violation following her DUI last year.

Her sisters and mom were on-hand to send her off.

“You never want this to happen to your child,” said Kris Jenner, choked up.

Then she shouldn’t have violated her parole!!!

Stupid rich people probably thought they could get away with it. Didn’t Paris Hilton teach us anything???

Tragically, Khloe will probably only serve three days or so of the 30 days, but still.

Makes me smile.

WTF: Britney Spears Gives Up Custody of Her Kiddos!

I don’t quite understand this.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reached an agreement in their custody case: Kevin will retain sole custody of the two boys, and Britney will have visitation rights.

“The case has been settled,” Federline’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan said. “This is the end of a two-year journey.”

The agreement is expected to be signed off by a court today.

Britney’s been doing so much better!

Why would she give up custody???

Salma Hayek Ends Engagement to Super Rich Dude

Salma Hayek has called off her engagement to super ultra gazillionaire Francois-Henri Pinault (the CEO of Gucci), her rep said today.

“We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled,” publicist Cari Ross said in a statement. “There will be no further comment.”

The couple have a child together, daughter Valentina Paloma Pinault.

Salma probably realized she doesn’t need to marry the dude. Little Valentina will keep her rolling in Pinault dough for the rest of her life!

Hilary Duff, Age 20, Reveals the Secrets of a Happy Life

Look out folks! We’ve got the next Eckhart Tolle on our hands!

For reasons passing understanding, barely-legal Hilary Duff wound up on The Big Idea, forced to make the case that her performing career has been successful because she is a happy person. Why is she a happy person? She hangs out with her family! She starts charities! She thinks positive!

This is absolutely the stupidest segment I have ever seen. And it’s not Hilary’s fault — you can tell even she realizes the idiocy of this discussion, and she handles it as articulately and gracefully as possible.

I’m not saying that one shouldn’t focus on happiness before material success. It’s just mindboggling to me that an segment producer somewhere opted to bring in a Disney star who’s not old enough to legally drink to share her wisdom on this topic.

Next week: Dakota Fanning shares her anti-aging secrets!