Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Keira Knightley to Head Up Itty Bitty Titty Committee

Ha ha. I like saying "itty bitty titty committee." It makes me happy because it sounds funny, and because it reminds me that I have large breasts. Yay! Anyway, Keira Knightley reportedly refused to allow the studio to digitally increase her bosom in the publicity still for her new film, The Duchess. "She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state," says a source. "She is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered."...

My Love for Miley Cyrus Grows with Each Passing Day

Not to the point where I want to, you know, stick my tongue down her throat and grab her underage ass, as these photos show her ex-boyfriend, Thomas Sturges, doing, but still. This girl just gets more fun with each new article. It's only a matter of time before she's sleeping with Greek shipping heirs, throwing drinks in clubs, and posing with knives with Vanessa Minnillo. And I, for one, can't wait. Who wants to bet that Miley leaked these photos herself, to get back at Nick Jonas for hump...

Jerry O’Connell Lied to Us!

I will never watch Sliders the same way again! Actually, I was probably never going to watch Sliders again either way. But still. Jerry O'Connell was all on the red carpet last week whining about how he and Rebecca Romijn were trying to get pregnant. And guess what? She already was! You were playing a funny joke on us, Jerry. Ha ha. That was funny. You know what else is funny? You used to be fat. Rebecca is pregnant with twins, which were apparently conceived without any sort of...

Lindsay and Samantha Acela-rate

Okay, that's a dumb title, and that's not even how you spell "accelerate," but it's nearly 4 am and I can't sleep. I've made this new and exciting decision to stop taking my anti-anxiety meds, because they make me sleep like 14 hours a day, and the end result is that, while my body adjusts, I don't sleep at all. Plus: I'm anxious! It's totally awesome. I sit on my bed, surrounded by all my slumbering animals, and I stare at them with jealousy. And then I decide which one I'm going to wake up to ...

Sienna and Balthazar Strike Again

I'm driving myself crazy trying to think up a cutesy nickname for these two. Sienazar? Balthienna? The Homewrecking Assholes? I dunno. I like the last one. The Homewrecking Assholes have finally put an end to their frolicking on the beach. Now they're frolicking on the New York social scene instead. On Thursday, they hit up an art show at the South Street Seaport and later hung out at the Rose Bar. Conspicuously absent? Balthazar's 10-month-old baby, whose mother he ditched for Sien...

Mario Lopez Is Now Officially Going to Host Everything

Ugh. Why do people keep giving this grade-A asshole jobs? I can't wait until Dustin Diamond releases his Saved by the Bell tell-all. It's sure to have some juicy tidbits about Mario's disgusting womanizing ways. He's a horrible person and I wish he'd stop getting work. Anyway, looks like ratings at Extra are down, and the network wants to pump them up by firing has-been Mark "15:00" McGrath and Dayna Devon, and replacing them with Mario Lopez. Who are all these people who love Mario L...