Seriously what is in this woman’s vagina? Cristal? I don’t get it. After being passed from Babyface to Eddie Murphy, P. Diddy’s taking sloppy thirds on this hooker. The two are reportedly dating.
At a party at Cannes (what is she doing at Cannes???) she said “Diddy is the funniest man I’ve ever met. I’m so lucky to find someone so soon after Eddie. It’s early days – we’ve only been on three or four dates – but he’s whisked me off my feet. I don’t know about wedding bells but he’s definitely the man for me.”
Okay, you guys, so I totally missed Celebrity Rehab on VH1 when it aired originally, but they were doing a marathon last night and I watched the first couple of episodes. The show is both totally addicting and totally unwatchable. Like, if I have to listen to Daniel Baldwin’s holier-than-thou attitude one more time I’m going to smack him across the face with his Big Book. What the fuck are you even doing there, buddy? Inspiring another alcoholic, my ass. You’re there to rub your year and a half of sobriety into the faces of everyone who’s still struggling, so shut up. And what the hell kind of rehab detoxes 10 patients at once? That’s insanity. And Jeff Conway? Should have detoxed in a hospital for a few days first, then came to rehab. They just had him show up at the rehab for a few hours so that they could dramatically wisk him away to the hospital in an ambulance. It didn’t take a fucking “addictionologist” to see from minute one that that guy was gonna have to detox in a hospital. So shit like that pisses me off. Like we’re risking these people’s health for a little extra drama, and that’s nauseating.
I have, however, totally fallen in love with Mary Carey. She has a vulnerability and pureness about her that’s just so sweet. (I know, I know, she’s not exactly “pure” in the traditional sense, but she’s still kind of wide-eyed and open to life, and that’s attractive.) I love love LOVE that she brought her freakin’ dildos to rehab. And I love even more that they took them away! And Mary’s like “I can’t masturbate?? What if I get horny??” I just adore her and find myself totally rooting for her. Now, I’m not sure what happens later on in the series, or if she stays sober, but I sure was excited to see her looking great at the InTouch Weekly Summer Stars party in LA.
Check out Alanis Morissette performing her latest single, “Underneath,” on The Today Show.
Her eye makeup looks really good. Eat your heart out, Ryan Reynolds! You may get to put your penis in 23-year-old bombshell Scarlett Johansson every night, but I’m howling about something abstract on morning television with killer eyeliner.