Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy 4th of July, Bitches!


Fuck yeah!

Unless Angelina Jolie decides to give birth to the Lords of the New World Order on Friday, I’ll see you guys on Saturday. I’ll be celebrating my country’s independence on Friday. And by “celebrating my country’s independence” I of course mean “drinking.”

Das Boot

As I was heading out to the ER, my wonderful friend Laura called and told me to go to a podiatrist instead. I called a nearby one, explained my situation, and they said they could get me in today. Which they did. It was a very fancy office with very fancy X-ray equipment and I have a very fancy broken foot. And now I am wearing this very fancy monstrosity.

As my mother pointed out to me while I was whimpering to her on my drive home from the doctor (“Mom, this is not fashion-forward!”), this is my very first real injury. Hooray! I popped my bone-injury cherry! Up next: anal sex!

This means I can no longer do my boot camp or my volleyball or all the new exercise stuff that I was finally getting into. My mom’s like, “God always has a plan with these things,” and I was like, “Yes, Mom, God has made it very clear that he does not want me to exercise.” I am destined to marry a man who likes his women a little soft in the tummy. So long, Greg Plitt fantasy.

Anyway, if you’re still reading this, you really shouldn’t be. Get out and enjoy your long weekend. That’s what I’m going to hobble off and do!

Megan Fox: Single Again?

Sources say that Megan Fox has ended her engagement to Brian Austin Green.

Who could have seen that coming?

Oh, right. Everybody.

I’m not sure yet if Megan is totally single or if she’s just called off the wedding plans, but no doubt it occurred to her at some point that she’s a super-hot up-and-coming starlet and he’s Brian Austin Green. Yeah.

Look Who’s Helping!

David Arquette lends some celebrity support to the Second Harvest Kick Off The Summer Food Service Program.

This particular program helps provide nutritious meals to underprivileged kids when they’re not getting the meals at school.

To learn more about the program and how you can help, click here.

A Friends Movie At Last?

I have to say, I’m just not super-psyched about this. I didn’t even really watch the last few seasons of Friends, so I don’t have any idea where they’d even pick up, but word on the street is that the box office success of Sex and the City has encouraged the cast of Friends to get together for a movie.

Apparently all the other cast members had been interested for awhile, but Jennifer Aniston was dragging her heels.

“As the biggest star of the Friends franchise, Jennifer can’t help but look at what’s happened with Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex And The City film and be a little jealous,” says a source. “What’s held back a Friends movie so far is that people were worried that Jennifer had simply become too famous to play Rachel again.”

But Jennifer is apparently on board now, and production on the film has been given the green light. If all goes well, it should hit theaters in the next 18 months or so.

What do you guys think?

Good idea or bad idea?