Today's Evil Beet Gossip

If I Had a Million Dollars (I’d Buy a Shitload of Cocaine)

The lead singer of Barenaked Ladies, Steven J. Page, has been charged with fourth degree criminal possession of a controlled substance, a felony. The controlled substance? Cocaine.

Police tell us that officers were patrolling the neighborhood of 311 East Genesee Street when they spotted a car that was parked across a driveway with the door open. Police stopped and checked the vehicle, which was unoccupied. The officers then checked the house and surrounding neighborhood to find the owner and if see there was any problem. Police checking the apartment building at 311 Genesee Street saw a man and a woman through a glass door sitting at a kitchen table. The officers noticed something suspicious looking on the table, and the people inside quickly covered the table with a towel when they saw police at the door. Police questioned the pair about the car outside. They also tested the substance under the towel and concluded it was cocaine.

Didn’t BNL recently release a children’s album? This oughtta help sales. Tee hee!

And on an unrelated note, you’ll all be pleased to hear that my passive-aggressive tactics have paid off. I will be attending The Dark Knight screening in Seattle tomorrow night. Woo hoo! See? Being an annoying pain in the ass does come with its rewards. Thanks Laremy and Mike!

Kiefer Sutherland Feels Dumb About Driving Drunk

Jack Bauer has found one bright spot about the recent writers’ strike: he got to go to jail and it didn’t impact his show’s filming schedule!

“It made what I had to do – obviously a very stupid thing that I did – it made that easier because I could go and the show was not affected by it,” said Kiefer. “I made a really dumb mistake, and to be able to go back to work, which is something I feel comfortable doing, it’s a safe place for me, I was grateful to have that opportunity. I’ve had very good friends that have made similar mistakes and have not been that lucky. So, I was very aware of how lucky I was to have that opportunity.”

Being a Hero!

Check out this video of a 17-year-old pizza shop employee punching out a would-be robber.

You know how during every job training class they’re like, “Now, if someone comes into rob the place, don’t be a hero. Just give them what they want and focus on getting out of the situation alive”?

Yeah.

So much for that.

This kid ROCKS.

Quotables

“I should have toned up for ‘Transformers’ but I’m really lazy. I had to put on weight. I’d lost a lot of weight and got really scrawny, but I was told I had to put on size for ‘Transformers’ because Michael [Bay, the director] doesn’t like skinny girls … I have a serious sugar tooth, so now I eat red-velvet cake before I go to bed every night, and if you eat meals later, you’ll put on weight faster, so I had dinner at 10 p.m.”

Super-hottie Megan Fox, about how she transitioned from her ultra-skinny look for Jennifer’s Body to a larger look for the Transformers sequel.

Suing Perez Per Usual

I was wondering when this shit was gonna start getting him in trouble.

Perez Hilton (aka Mario Lavandeira) is being sued for $25 million for posting the name and email address of someone who sent him an email he didn’t like. The post is viewable here, and this is what he posted:

On 12/27/07, Diane Wargo (dwargo@menorahpark.org) wrote:

Perez you are a FAT GAY PIG! Angelina is a ugly whore! You love her because she is a fag lover! Her brother is a gay little jerk just like your fat ugly ass! MANGELINA is a digusting gross skank!

Um, so obviously these aren’t very nice things to say. But here’s what her lawyer has to say about it:

According to the Complaint, after Wargo sent an email challenging Hilton’s opinion, she received derogatory emails with crass language back from PerezHilton.com at her work email address. When those emails kept coming, despite requests to stop, Wargo emailed back with the same type of crass language that is typical of the PerezHilton.com website. Wargo hoped that by using the same type of language, she would get her point across in a way that was typical for PerezHilton.com. Because of the express terms and conditions posted on PerezHilton.com, she knew – or at least thought she knew – that her comments would never be publically attributed to her without her consent.

But, according to the Complaint, Hilton ignored his own Conditions of Use and Privacy Notice, and published not only Wargo’s email without the preceding emails and her full name, but also her work
email address that identified the name of her employer and her employer’s website domain name. By doing so, Hilton unleashed his readers on Wargo and her employer. On the same day that Hilton published her private information, hundreds of emails flooded both Wargo’s work email address, as well as those of her supervisors.

Dude, I like how calling Perez a “FAT GAY PIG” is somehow supposed to be okay, because she was hoping to “get her point across in a way that was typical for PerezHilton.com.”

Anyway, Diane was eventually fired by her employer, and is sad about it and is now suing Perez, and her lawyer has actually issued a press release. Full text of the release is after the jump.

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Mug Shots!!!

Hooray for new celeb arrests!

Here are the mug shots of W castmembers Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright, who were arrested on Friday night at the wrap party for the Oliver Stone-directed flick about President George W. Bush.

Apparently 10 cops and pepper spray were involved in the brawl.

“We are not at liberty to discuss the specifics of the incident. But officers will use whatever force they feel is necessary to effect a safe arrest,” said a member of the police force.

Everyone’s Hating on Florence!

God bless Z-listers!

After Florence Henderson had some mean things to say about Adrianne Curry’s marriage to Christopher Knight, Adrianne Curry fought back.

Now, it’s Chris Knight’s turn to do the fighting!

“It hurts me deeply that someone that I have loved and respected for so many years … would discuss overtly negative personal opinions about my marriage in a public forum,” he wrote on his MySpace page. “I can only hope these recent comments are an aberration … It is no secret Florence and Adrianne do not see eye to eye. But … in the struggle I have hoping one day these two women will bridge their generation and philosophical differences, calling my marriage a sham helps so very little.”

Shut up, Mrs. Brady!