Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jon Stewart is leaving ‘The Daily Show’ later this year

jon stewart

Aw, man. First we lost Colbert and now this bullshit? That’s right – it’s official: Jon Stewart will be leaving The Daily Show later in 2015. Comedy Central released a statement last night that made the internet go crazy (or, you know, crazier than usual) and made those who have watched and loved the show for so many years really, really sad.

daily show

SAY IT AIN’T SO!

It remains to be seen when exactly the last broadcast will be, but we’ll be saying goodbye to Stewart before 2015 is through. It really is a shame – without Colbert and Stewart, where will most millennial Americans get their snarky version of the news? Or, you know, the news at all? Will they actually start reading NEWSPAPERS? Is that still a thing?! (And yes, that’s sarcasm.)

It has been going for 16 years now (amazing!) so it’s only natural that Jon is probably ready to move onto the next phase of his life – perhaps full time writing/producing/directing of films? Who knows, but it’ll be awful to see him go.

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Kevin Hart will host the Comedy Central Justin Bieber roast

justin bieber kevin hart

Justin Bieber is probably going to rue the day he ever wished for his own Comedy Central roast, because Kevin Hart has just been announced as the host for the event. If you’re not familiar with Kevin, his stand up is some of the funniest out there, and he can be absolutely brutal when it comes to making fun of his fellow celebs. In other words, it’s going to be brilliant.

The roast will air on Comedy Central on March 30th and it’s sure to make great hate watching – as in, it’ll be great to watch if you hate Justin Bieber. The world still isn’t ready to forgive him for being a giant bag of dicks yet, so hopefully he can pay some dues during this special event. Let’s hope the roasters take no prisoners, either – it ain’t a roast unless JB goes home crying.


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Bruce Jenner is taking low dosage hormones

bruce jenner

I feel very conflicted about continuing to report on Bruce Jenner‘s gender identity – especially until he says something himself. I try to handle it with sensitivity, but this is a celebrity gossip blog and this is very big news in the eyes of the media, so here we are. Today’s story seems to be centered around the revelation that Bruce is taking a low dosage of hormones to grow breasts – news which came to light since he apparently told police this after his recent fatal car crash.

From Radar Online:

After passing field sobriety tests at the scene of the accident, Bruce voluntarily agreed to submit to a blood test at a local hospital as part of the investigation into the cause of the accident that left an elderly woman dead.

Los Angeles County Sheriff’s deputies accompanied Bruce to the hospital for the blood test. (He wasn’t taken into custody or arrested.)

During the blood draw, Bruce was asked if he was taking any medication and said that “he was taking very low dosage of hormones that his doctor had prescribed,” a source told RadarOnline.com. “Bruce has nothing to hide, and was very cooperative with cops, and appreciated their professionalism.

“During the entire process Bruce was obviously very, very shocked and inquiring about the other victims — this has been a total nightmare for him, and Bruce is taking it very, very hard.”

Bruce had revealed to taking the hormones so he could grow breasts, to look more feminine before his planned gender reassignment surgery?, the source said.

Frankly, I’m not sure how the “source” found this one out – it’s such a bizarre story to leak and such an inconsequential part of the bigger story (which was, of course, about this fatal car crash). If it’s true, good for him – I’m happy that Bruce is finally coming into his own and is getting closer to being the person he has always known he is but wasn’t able to show on the outside. Also, Bruce Jenner needs new friends if the ones he has think selling stories to the press like this is cool.

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Will Smith lost his mind when no one went to see ‘After Earth’

after earth

Will Smith has done pretty well for himself, I’d say. An extremely successful TV and movie career that spans a few decades? Good going, dude. You’re rich! Life is good! But they can’t all be winners. Take his 2013 film After Earth, which starred Will and his crazy ass kid Jaden. That one sorta bombed at the box office, and its failure made Will nearly lost his damn mind.

From People:

“For me, this film really marks a transition in my life and emotionally and in my career,” Smith said Sunday during a press conference for Focus at The Four Seasons Hotel in Westlake Village, California.

“After the failure of After Earth, a thing got broken in my mind. I was like, ‘Oh, wow. I’m still alive. Oh, wow. Actually, I still am me, even though the movie didn’t open number one. Wait. I can still get hired on another movie.’ ”

“I realized that I still was a good person,” Smith, 46, said. “So when I went into Focus, I completely released the concept of goal orientation and got into path orientation. This moment, this second, these people, this interaction … It is a huge relief for me to not care whether or not Focus is number one or number 10 at the box office.”

Uh.. wow. I suppose Will’s story isn’t all that unique and I bet a bunch of Hollywood actors lose their minds when their films don’t do well – especially if you’re used to being super successful and are dealing with failure rarely. However, he needs to get a damn grip. Did After Earth‘s failure rally impact his life? He could still pay his bills (and the bills of half of California, I imagine), so he needs to chill.

After Earth just looked like it sucked, anyway. Can anyone confirm?

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The ‘Fifty Shades of Buscemi’ trailer is a thing of nightmares

buscemi

If there’s anything on this earth that’s worse than the whole Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, it’s gotta be Steve Buscemi, right? I mean, Steve Buscemi himself is awesome, but combine Steve Buscemi with S&M and/or anything even remotely sexual, and you’ve gone too far. Such is the case with Fifty Shades of Buscemi, a spoof trailer with Buscemi as Christian Grey. It’s hilarious, sure, but it’s also extremely disturbing:

Although, you know, the more I think of it, 50 Shades actually works SO much better than the actual movie, which takes itself FAR too seriously. If this was real, I think I’d be 10x more likely to see it… and laugh my ass off.

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Miley Cyrus wants in on the NYC Porn Film Festival

miley cyrus

It’s been several weeks since Miley Cyrus reminded us how ~edgy~ and ~sexy~ she is, so it’s only natural that she created a short film, of sorts, that she submitted to the NYC Porn Film Festival, which is apparently a thing. In the video, called “Tongue-Tied”, Miley does weird, S&M-ish shit clad in patent leather, wears electrical tape over her nipples and dances while an Alt-J track plays in the background. It’s all very avant garde, I suppose – at least according to the festival’s founder, Simon Leahy, who thinks that the clip proves that Miley is becoming “more of a contemporary artist”. LOL, okay.

The video is, of course, NSFW – you’ve been warned:

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have adopted their seventh child

angelina jolie brad pitt

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have a massive family, with a whopping six kids. It works for them and that’s great, but six kids is a LOT, right? Well, how about seven? Word on the street is that Brangelina adopted a 2-year-old boy named Moussa, whom she met during a trip to Turkey. Moussa was abandoned at a Syrian refugee camp in Turkey, but he’ll soon be living it up in LA.

From Women’s Day:

“Angelina heard about him from a translator and she was obviously upset, but Moussa was just beaming from ear to ear and when he saw she was wiping tears from her eyes he toddled up to her and gave her a hug and it was a very emotional moment and everyone was suddenly laughing and smiling,” says a charity worker.

“She kissed him on the top of his head and then they were basically inseparable for the rest of the visit.”

After an extensive check confirmed he was an orphan, Ange began the process of filing for adoption.

Moussa will join Cambodian-born Maddox, 13, Vietnamese Pax, 11, and nine-year-old Ethiopian Zahara, as the adopted members of the chaotic “Brangie bunch”, which also includes biological children Shiloh, 8, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 5.

Whether or not this is actually true remains to be seen, but if so, that makes Team Brangelina 9 members strong. Seven kids is seven too many, in my eyes, but they’re filthy rich and love being parents, so I suppose it’s really lovely that they can give these kids homes and love. If only they could adopt every last kid in an orphanage – no sarcasm there, of course.

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