From In Touch via Celebitchy:

In Touch Weekly has learned that in an effort to keep 25-year-old Casper Smart happy, Jennifer Lopez is about to undo the smartest career decision she ever made – and give up her job as an American Idol judge.

Jealous of all the time she was spending away from home – and with cute Idols like Phillip Phillips – Casper urged her to quit the plum gig and focus on their relationship instead. And remarkably, J.Lo is listening. Although Jennifer tweeted on May 17 that she hadn’t “decided what I am doing next year,” sources tell In Touch that the star has already informed Idol brass that she won’t be coming back next season.

“Casper would love it she would just chill out and travel with him,” explains a friend, adding that as ambitious as she is, J.Lo has also been overwhelmed – and he picked up on that. “She had her relationsip, music, movies, Idol and being a good mom,” the friend shares. “She loved being on Idol, but something had to give, so she took Casper’s advice.”

J.Lo’s closest advisers wish she hadn’t. most recall her career was in a lull before her Idol-inspired comeback.

“If anything should go, it should be Casper,” huffs the friend, who marvels at the increasingly important role Smart is playing in Jennifer’s life. “Everyone is annoyed that Jennifer is taking business advice from Casper.”

Jennifer’s friends worry that Jennifer has fallen too hard, too fast for Casper, and she barely knows him. An insider observes, “She’s a fool for love.”

“But Jennnnn,” Casper said, slumping his shoulders and pouting. “You always have to work. You never have time for me anymore. Jenniferrrr! Please! I want to go to Hawaii! Take me to Hawaii right now! God!”

That’s how I imagine that conversation went. I don’t think Casper told Jennifer that she’s been working too much, that he was concerned that she wasn’t relaxing enough. I think Casper threw a little hissy fit, and Jennifer got him a jet ski and told him to go play with his friends while she did some grown-up work.

Then again, maybe this didn’t even happen. Maybe Casper is upset by all these rumors that Jennifer Lopez won’t be returning to American Idol next year. If she lost that sweet gig, then what would happen to his allowance?

Yesterday, we talked about how Kristen Stewart is evolving, and it’s true. At the very least, her public image is. For the past month or so, ever since she started doing all the publicity for Snow White and the Huntsman, she’s just gotten so much more likable, right?

But this, this is a true sign that we have a new Kristen Stewart on our hands here. A Kristen Stewart who feels more comfortable in the spotlight, a Kristen Stewart who seems to have chilled out a considerable amount. A Kristen Stewart who actually smiles and goofs around in public.

These photos are from the On the Road photocall and premiere in Cannes, and they’re pretty remarkable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kristen like this before, so visibly happy and calm. I don’t think she bit her lip on camera even once! For real, look at this picture of her looking downright animated with Kirsten Dunst:

Is your mind blown? Because mine kind of is.

“Five minutes before we filmed, David told me, ‘I want to see the bottom of your balls on the top of the frame.’ At the moment, I reminded myself that I would do anything for him. So I went back to see him and told him that wouldn’t happen. He took it really well. At the start, it’s a very bizarre scene that you won’t see again in another movie, I promise. … I spent two weeks in a hotel room worrying and confusing myself.”

This is Robert Pattinson, talking about nudity and testicles and the filming of his recently-unveiled movie, ‘Cosmopolis’.

Are you guys disappointed that there’ll be no ball-shots in the film? Because I, for one, know that there’s just nothing sexier on a rumored-to-be-unkempt-and-dirty man than his SACK.

No wonder Zac has such a public hard-on for Nicole. It’s all coming together now! She pissed on his face, and he’s been sprung ever since!

From Contact Music:

The scene takes place after Efron’s character, Jack, storms off in a fury of teenage angst. He swims out to sea to calm himself down but gets stung by a jellyfish in the process. Kidman pushes aside a group of girls who are about to pee on his stings and does it herself.
Matthew Mcconaughey (‘The Lincoln Lawyer’), who plays Jack’s brother, insists that that is the correct way to treat a jellyfish sting, while John Cusack (‘Being John Malkovich’), who plays a prisoner in correspondence with Kidman, remarks ‘Of all the things in the movie that are shocking, that was kind of a light scene!’

People who protested to the screening at Cannes Film Festival included Empire’s Nick de Semlyen who posted on Twitter, ‘Did not wake up today expecting to almost instantly see Nicole Kidman p*ssing on Zac Efron’s face. Thanks for that, The Paperboy.#Cannes.’

See what happens here? Zac Efron gets a taste (um, literally) of the A-list and he thinks he’s all Don Juan DeMarco now. It’s the only other explanation for all of his silly little interviews talking about the simplicity of taking off bras and dropping MAGNUM condoms on the red carpet during photo calls … it’s all starting to gel for me, and I have to say—I couldn’t be laughing harder right now.

And the recent write-up in People makes this whole thing even funnier:

The movie, directed by Lee Daniels (Precious), is set in Florida in 1969 amid racial strife. Efron is 20-year-old Jack, the younger brother of a journalist (played by Matthew McConaughey) who has come back to his family’s small town to investigate whether a man was wrongly condemned to death row. Kidman’s character is fixated on the inmate.

In one early scene, Kidman tears off her pantyhose and has an orgasm while visiting the prisoner (played by John Cusack) on death row. Later, her character urinates on Efron on a beach after he is stung by jellyfish.

Of the film, Zac says:

“I don’t think I was supposed to feel comfortable,” he explained of the revealing [white underwear] shoot. “It’s like life. This character is supposed to be learning the ways of the world, and that can be very uncomfortable. But it’s also exciting.”

Oh, honey, of course it is. You’re twenty-four years old. Let’s just see how you feel about being peed on by a sixty-year-old when you’re forty, though, OK? Then we’ll go on and talk about the ways of the world, alright, sweetheart?

And the scary, scary reason I’m talking about isn’t for graphic vampire violence (because come on. Can we really get more graphic than Bella Swan’s vampire birthing scene? NO. The answer to that is indubitably ‘no’), the scary, scary reason is because the MPAA is running out of reasons to slap “red-band” on trailers, so now they’re just putting names into a hat and drawing them at random. This month, it happened to be ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’, a movie that I still insist should not be made. But it’s too late. And now we have this to contend with, along with a slew of middle-aged history-buff men who’ll flock to see this movie and hope that it’s historically accurate and then they’ll squawk when it’s not.

All in all, this trailer is horrid, the movie premise is horrid, and somewhere deep, deep inside of me, I think that this still might be a joke, but I’d probably be wrong about that.

From the Chicago Tribune:

The gruesome and graphic trailer features an ax-wielding Abe (Benjamin Walker) on a mission to avenge his mother’s death and save the U.S. from being overtaken by the undead bloodsuckers.

The historical fiction-action flick is an adaptation of the novel by author Seth Grahame-Smith, who revamped Jane Austen with “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”

“Wanted” director Timur Bekmambetov helms the film, which is produced by Tim Burton, whose own campy vampire film “Dark Shadows” is currently in theaters.

Oh, God, Tim Burton has his name in this mess? I’d say “I should have known,” but there’s just no way I could have. It wasn’t at all expected. To have Tim Burton endorse such a gigantic piece of crap? My mind is fully blown.

Just a couple of days ago, Kim Kardashian went to a party in Cannes wearing the same dress that Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Emmys last year. And then the next day, she wore that dress that you see in that picture up there. It’s my belief that Kim is trying to reach her maximum potential for twinsies, because a handful of other celebrities have already worn this awful dress.

The first lady to wear the dress was Zoe Saldana, back in August. Her dress included a little white train, and I can’t decide if it helps the dress or if it just makes its tragic hideousness a little more fancy:

In November, model Alessandra Ambrosio wore it to an event. Alessandra’s version looks the most similar to Kim’s, so maybe Kim is trying to reach out to her the hardest. Or maybe it’s just the luck of the twinsie draw. We can’t really be sure at this point:

And then Katy Perry wore the dress while she was in Paris for Fashion Week in March. Her particular dress is in a different color, but it’s the same terrible idea:

Does it seem weird to anybody else that Kim wore very recognizable dresses worn by very recognizable celebrities twice in just a couple of days? And it’s not even that the dresses have been worn before – even with Kim’s vast amount of money, it’s silly to think that every single dress she ever wears to an event can be completely original – it’s that they’re such distinct dresses that have definitely caused a buzz before. It’s like, what’s she going to wear tomorrow? Bjork’s swan dress?