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15It’s Friday. Let’s Look at Boobs.

It’s almost the weekend and everyone is losing their minds.  Is it my imagination or has this been the longest Friday ever?  I know that all days are supposed to be the same 24 hours, but I question that.  I know I’m not alone in my disgust of the length of this day.  Would some tits and ass make you feel better?

Kate Beckinsale has been named Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive”.  Instead of just a glossy photo spread, Kate has graced the universe with a two-minute video of her prancing around in a bra, stripper shoes and not much else.

October 2, 2009 at 12:13 pm by Wendie
Filed Under: Kate Beckinsale

9How Bad Is Peter Sellars’ Play?

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Peter Sellars has been heading up a production of Othello that’s playing at NYU’s Skirball Auditorium.  He was fortunate enough to land Academy Award-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman for the lead, but that’s where his luck ended.

Sellars’ production is so bad that a mass exodus occurs during the intermission of every show.  According to Will Pulos, a student and digital journalist at NYU, “I basically haven’t seen a theatrical exodus that large since sitting through a community theater production of ‘Clue: The Musical’ in northern Michigan.”  I’ve only seen a bunch of people file out of a show one time — during the movie From Justin to Kelly and no, I don’t want to discuss why I was there.

One night, in response to all the empty seats, Sellars came on stage and announced, “Move up. Please move up. The closer you are, the better.”

October 2, 2009 at 11:55 am by Wendie
Filed Under: Uncategorized

17Letterman Extortionist Has Bills to Pay

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48 Hours producer Robert Halderman — they call him “Joe” — is an idiot.  As more details of the David Letterman extortion plot are revealed, we’ve learned that Halderman deposited his $2M check that was given to him a couple of days ago in exchange for his silence.  Unfortunately for him, it was a check with no funds to back it up . TMZ dug up Joe’s 2004 divorce papers, of course.  This guy was paying almost $6,000 a month in child and spousal support.  No wonder he needed two million of David Letterman’s dollars!

Stephanie Birkitt, an intern on Letterman’s show back in the ’90s (she later returned, working and appearing on the show for almost 10 years), is one of the women who allegedly had an affair with Dave in 2003.  She lived with Halderman for a time, which is clearly how he hatched his plan to blackmail the talk show host.

Personally, David Letterman has fallen down a peg in my estimation.  I don’t care that he’s a cheater — whatever, that’s his situation to deal with.  What I do feel bad about is how he delivered the news to his audience like it was some big joke.  I felt bad for his wife who most assuredly is not laughing.

October 2, 2009 at 11:38 am by Wendie
Filed Under: David Letterman

33Jon Gosselin Decides to be a Man. I’m Tired.

Jon Gosselin was on Larry King Live last night.  I’m sorry guys, I don’t think we’re ever going to be free of these fuckwits.

Now that Jon has been fired from his show, he feels that the show is not good for his kids and he doesn’t want them involved with any filming.  Of course it isn’t good for his kids to be in front of a camera if Daddy Goss isn’t getting paid for it!

Jon explained to Larry that he looked in the mirror one day and didn’t like what he saw.  Thankfully his girlfriend’s father is a plastic surgeon.  Ha!  Seriously though, he’s had a review of his conscience and taking away his family’s sole means of support is his vision of “doing right”.  Though the timing is convenient, this has been a plan he’s been hashing out with his attorneys for weeks.

Let’s review all the other things that Jon Gosselin does that he obviously feels do not damage his kids:

1)  Cheating on their mother.

2)  Dating a 23 year old.

3)  Telling the media that he despises their mother.

4)  Hanging out in St. Tropez while their kids adjust to life without Daddy back in Pennsylvania.

5)  Exposing his children to his Ed Hardy wardrobe.

6)  Misspelling “penalty” and “Jonathan” on the signs posted at the front gate of their house.

Feel free to add to my list.  It’s just so extensive and I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome writing about this family these days.  I’m done pouring energy into a dude that doesn’t know how to spell his name.

October 2, 2009 at 9:03 am by Wendie
Filed Under: Jon Gosselin

10Quotables

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“I think my acting is offensive!  I’m an awful actor, I’m not super comfortable with it. In fact I was just trying to do lines … and they’ll tell you, I cannot memorize lines.”

Lauren Conrad finally admits that she’s a talentless slob in front of the camera, at last night’s LC Lauren Conrad Kohl’s launch party.  She also confirmed that she will not be playing the starring role in the movie based on her book L.A. Candy.

October 2, 2009 at 7:13 am by Wendie
Filed Under: Lauren Conrad

6Michael Jackson Was Generally Healthy When He Died

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And the Jackson saga continues. His autopsy results indicate that, overall, he was in good health for a 50-year-old man.

The Los Angeles County coroner’s report shows Jackson’s weight of 136 pounds was in the acceptable range for a 5-foot-9 man. His heart was strong with no sign of plaque buildup. His kidneys and most other major organs were normal.

The singer did have health issues, however, including arthritis in the lower spine and some fingers, and mild plaque buildup in his leg arteries. Most serious was the condition of his lungs, which the autopsy report said were chronically inflamed and had reduced capacity that might have left him short of breath.

But the lung condition was not serious enough to be a direct or contributing cause of death, according to the document.

“His overall health was fine,” said Dr. Zeev Kain, chairman of the anesthesiology department at the University of California, Irvine, who reviewed a copy of the autopsy report for the AP. “The results are within normal limits.”

Basically all of this means that Michael died strictly of complications from the propofol and the benzodiazepines, which we already knew. This wasn’t a generally unhealthy man, he was just crazy about his insomnia, and he was unlucky enough to find a doctor willing to enable that insanity. The more I read about this case, the more I feel Dr. Murray ought to be convicted of homicide. Shit, dude, I tried to get my doctor to prescribe me a low dose of phentermine last week to help me lose ten pounds, and she was all like, “No way. Your BMI is in the normal range, so you need to focus on exercise and portion control.” I hate the term “portion control” so much. Like, who wants to eat the yummy stuff in reasonable portions? Why eat it at all if you have to control your portions? But the point is this: I knew she’d never prescribe it; it was a long shot. Of course no ethical doctor is going to prescribe phentermine for someone whose weight is in a normal BMI. And yet this asshole had Michael on propofol and three different types of benzos — for insomnia. It’s insane. This dude should go to jail forever.

October 1, 2009 at 8:24 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Michael Jackson