Hey everybody! This is Sophia Grace Brownlee, singing Nicki Minaj’s ‘Super Bass’. Are you frightened yet? Hold your horses: she also performs Keri Hilson’s ‘Turn My Swag On’. But back to ‘Superbass’, you all know the lyrics to this song, right? If not, well, here they are in their uncensored entirety:

This one is for the boys with the boomin’ system
Top down, AC with the coolin’ system
When he come up in the club, he be blazin’ up
Got stacks on deck like he savin’ up

And he ill, he real, he might got a deal
He pop bottles and he got the right kind of build
He cold, he dope, he might sell coke
He always in the air, but he never fly coach

He a muthaf*ckin trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship
When he make it drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip
That’s the kind of dude I was lookin’ for
And yes you’ll get slapped if you’re lookin’ ho

I said, excuse me you’re a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly
I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie
You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh

Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away
Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way
Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that’s that super bass

This one is for the boys in the Polos
Entrepreneur niggas in the moguls
He could ball with the crew, he could solo
But I think I like him better when he dolo

And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on
He ain’t even gotta try to put the mac on
He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look
Then the panties comin’ off, off, unh

Excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy
You know I really got a thing for American guys
I mean, sigh, sickenin’ eyes
I can tell that you’re in touch with your feminine side, oh

Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away
Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way
Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that’s that super bass

Sophia Grace Brownlee, huh? She does a better job than Nicki Minaj. I personally prefer Sophia’s version, but that’s just me. Also, if you played the video back a second time to see if Sophia’s mother allowed her to say “motherfu*ckin’,” then you’re not alone. I DID TOO.

Here’s Sophia’s kicked-up version of ‘Turn My Swag On’.

Yes, Lance Bass is producing a boy band called Heart2Heart and appearing in their music videos. Gee, that’s something, Lance Bass.  That’s really something.

Even if you don’t care about Lance Bass, please just do yourself a favor and watch this glorious music video. The song is called “Facebook Official,” ok? Do you really need another reason?

John Mayer needs dating advice. [The Superficial]

Demi Moore wants your sympathy … [Cele|bitchy]

… And now she’s got some kind of out-of-control substance abuse issue, I guess. [Starpulse]

When “ugly” men cheat on thier “hot wives.” [Bossip]

Amanda Knox‘s boyfriend dramas. [TMZ]

Amanda Seyfried has panic attacks? [Socialite Life]

Here comes the divorce! [The Blemish]

The best Harry Potter t-shirt I’ve ever seen. [theBERRY]

I see the irony in Russell Crowe doing a movie called Man of Steel. [Caught on Set]

Blake Lively has good taste in famous penis. [Popbytes]

Shirtless Coldplay guy. [Lainey Gossip]

Yes, these women are princesses believe it or not. [OMGBlog]

Good thing she moved on, what with that face and all. [Lainey Gossip]

Mothers who tried to sell their babies. [The Frisky]

Even though the headline made me just laugh and laugh, this is actually a pretty sad story. See, poor little Snooki just loves Kate Winslet. She’s her favorite actress who starred in her favorite movie – what else? – Titanic, and she wants to be just like her. As in, she dreams of being an actress of Kate’s caliber. Are you giggling yet? Ok, let’s continue.

In order to achieve her dreams, Snooki had her people call Kate’s people so the two could get together and chat. Snooki apparently even thought that she could get some tips from Kate. So what was Kate’s response when she heard of this request? She “just stared blankly and said, ‘What’s a Snooki?’”

Oh, Snooks. Don’t give up, honey. Kate’s just too busy cussing and taking pretty pictures to recognize your special brand of magic. Don’t give up though, girl! You’ll have your own personal Titanic one day. Let’s just hope your acting is a smidge better than your fellow castmates, all right?

Do you know why I included the video of the LeAnn Rimes classic, “Blue”? It’s because that’s the way Maya Angelou first gained appreciation for LeAnn. See, Maya heard the song and absolutely loved it, and she believed LeAnn to be an old, soulful black lady before she realized she was a “little white girl.” I guess that little surprise fueled some interest in LeAnn, because when Maya Angelou got a show called The Celebration Table on the Hallmark Channel (which I will definitely watch as long as it doesn’t cut into the hours and hours of Golden Girls reruns), LeAnn was one of the first people she wanted to talk to.

But what could these ladies have to talk about?  Let’s let LeAnn tell us:

“We talked about forgiveness, marriage, children, poetry, music, food … and drank great wine together. Her spirit is infectious. Meeting her changed my life. She’s a walking angel and the wisest person I’ve ever met. She invited Eddie, the kids and me back to her home soon for a few days because she wants to cook for us. I’m happy to call her my friend and she calls me her daughter. What an honor.”

Well, this is … this is different, huh? What illustrious author should LeAnn befriend next? Maurice Sendak, right?

Again, I just don’t get Beyonce. I know, I know, a lot of people think she’s a goddess, and that’s fine, but in my world, goddesses don’t cause anxiety attacks and near seizures. They just don’t.

Also, is it just me, or is Beyonce starting to look more and more like Tyra? With the long hair and bangs, like in the very last shot of the video? Does anyone else see that?