What is it with Paris Hilton?

Why does she have this weird obsession with banging D-list losers?

It looks like the rumors that Paris was dating Hills non-celeb and Amanda Bynes ex, total loser Doug Reinhardt, are true.

I just got word that the hotel heiress and the young man best known for appearing on The Hills were with each other on Valentine’s Day.

Reinhardt even gave her a present for V-Day.

So what does a man get the gal who already has everything?

Sources reveal that Reinhardt gave Hilton a print of an Andy Warhol piece depicting Marilyn Monroe.

Hilton’s grandmother called her Marilyn Monroe when the celebutante was a child. Plus, Hilton has even compared herself to the Hollywood legend. “There’s nobody in the world like me,” Hilton once said. “I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”

Reinhardt was also by Hilton’s side the night before Valentine’s Day when she threw herself a pink-themed party at her L.A.-area house for her 28th birthday.

The question still remains if Hilton and Reinhardt are an actual couple. Sources say that their relationship right now is simply about “hooking up” on a regular basis.

Listen, there are a lot of things I don’t like about Paris Hilton. In fact, that list is endless. We could talk all day, every day, about the things I don’t like about Paris Hilton. But I will admit that she is a pretty girl with a shitload of money and even more fame. Why does she always date these nobodies? They are obviously going to be so obsessed with the fact that they are dating the Paris Hilton that they’ll never be able to treat her like a real human being. Especially a douche like Doug.

Is it just that no one with any amount of respectable fame or success will get within ten feet of her? Or does she take some sick pleasure in toying with these fifteen-minutes-of-fame guys? I think she likes being idolized by the men she’s with. And, while a certain amount of being put on a pedestal is nice, how can you have a true relationship with someone to whom you will always be, essentially, a caricature?

Ooh, yay!

It’s not every day you get to read a reporter’s first-hand report of a fight between Cokey-Pants Lohan and SamRo.

ALONG WITH PICTURES!!! I’m just giddy about this.

These photos were taken as Sam and Cokey-Pants ran down the street in Manhattan Friday night, screaming at each other after a late night of partying at Charlotte Ronson’s after party. And a NY Post blogger followed behind Lohan, recording their every word:

“Samantha Judith Ronson, why are you doing this to me?” cried Lindsay Lohan as she chased her lover down East First Street in the wee hours of Valentine’s Day. …

At one point Samantha stopped in the middle of Houston Street and said something in a whisper.

“What are you talking about?” shrieked Lindsay in response, “I’ve been with you all night!”

Samantha seemed to notice me standing there and took off once again, Lindsay following and only stopping to light a cigarette, which she puffed on furiously as she yelled.

I continued following behind, matching Lindsay’s stride, and watching as two paparazzi darted in and out of traffic to get their shots. Other than the photogs and myself, no one out on the 1 a.m. street seemed to notice a starlet in their midst.

Lindsay stomped out her cigarette just before following her girlfriend into the Bowery Hotel, where they either made up or else continued the emotional meltdown in more private quarters.

As you’ll recall, Cokey-Pants and Sam were supposed to host a Valentine’s Day party in Florida on Saturday, but neither showed up. They cited “illness.”

Oh, you girls. You’re so addicted to the drama. AND DRUGS.

Thanks Anna! I’d be Lohan-lost without your tips!

Aw, how cute is Bridget Marquardt and her new man, Nick Nicholas Carter? (I have been informed by PR folks that he does not like to be called “Nick.”)

The happy couple spent Valentine’s Day partying at Studio 54 at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Inside, they met up with Holly Madison and her new love, Criss Angel.

I just love that Bridget has found love and happiness! She is such a sweetheart, and absolutely deserves it. I think I’ve talked about this before, but I interviewed her and Holly once upon a time (Kendra failed to show up), and they were both so awesome both on and off camera — Holly and I chatted about how we both went through goth periods in high school, which amazed me — but Bridget was especially awesome. She just radiates such kindness, and I want all the best for her!

Image courtesy MGM Grand

Kanye West, Jared Leto, Chace Crawford and Patrick Wilson were front and center for the Calvin Klein menswear show at Fashion Week.

Ugh, Jared is actually starting to look kind of hot again. I dig the new hair color. He’s still a little grunge for my tastes (I like pretty boys, sue me), but at least he’s not going for the I’m-wearing-smeared-eyeliner-and-haven’t-showered-in-a-month look anymore. That’s a relief.

Hey, remember this shit? Where that 13-year-old boy in England (who looks about 8) impregnated his 15-year-old girlfriend, Chantelle? And they had the baby? And it’s like this huge social issue right now?

Well, now some 16-year-old kid is claiming that he’s actually the father! And then a 14-year-old came up and claimed the he might actually be father! Either this 15-year-old girl was doing some serious sluttin’ around that month, or these boys are just desperate for some attention and money. Oh, and Chantelle’s neighbors aren’t being all too sweet about this. They’re running to the press left and right to talk about how she had all kinds of boys spending the night in her bed. She and her mom both deny that.

Alfie Patten, the original underage baby daddy, is now going to take a DNA test to prove that his pre-teen super-sperm did, in fact, knock this girl up. Says Alfie: “Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they have slept with Chantelle too. But I am the only boyfriend she has had and we’ve been together for two years, so I must be the dad. When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her ‘Am I the dad?’ and she went ‘Yeah’ so I believe her. I didn’t know about DNA tests before, but Mum explained it’s when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells you if you’re the dad. So, if I have that, they can all shut up. But I don’t really care what people say. And I don’t like them being bad about Chantelle.”

OMG. Is this boy actually saying these things or are they making up quotes to make him sound like he’s five years old??? Listen, I wasn’t exactly worldly (or sexually active!) when I was 13, but, dear God, I wasn’t talking like a pre-schooler, either.

Regardless, this just sucks to have such young kids wrapped up in such a widespread scandal, especially considering there’s an actual baby involved.

It seems my post last night got a lot of you interested in signing up for Twitter! That’s great!!! To help you guys out, I’ve made a list of some fun people you might be interested in following:

Rapper Xzibit is here.
Demi Moore is here.
Reading Rainbow/Star Trek star Levar Burton is here.
Star Trek’s Data, Brent Spiner, is here.
Star Trek’s Ensign Crusher, and my first crush, Wil Wheaton is here. (Yes, I’m a giant Star Trek nerd.)
There’s a fake 90210 Ray Pruitt who cracks me up, he’s here.
The adorable Taylor Swift is here.
NonSociety’s Julia Allison is here.
Britney Spears is here.
TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington is here.
Writer Rachel Sklar is here.
There’s a fake Michael Bay who is hilarious here.
Brilliant and adorable political talk-show host Rachel Maddow is here.
The original Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox, is here.
Ashton Kutcher is here.
Our very own Wendie Tobin is here.

And, of course, the amazing Evil Beet twitter is here.

So these are some of my favorite people to follow on Twitter, along with a bunch of my wonderful non-famous friends.

If you have favorite celeb or just plain interesting Twitter accounts, please post the links to their Twitter pages in the comments.