Hi guys.

I know this is unbelievable, but I am still sick. Wendie is too, and I love her for working this morning even though she is. I was starting to feel better on Sunday but today it somehow sucks again. This flu going around is unbelievable! My grandpa said he saw on the news that there has been an enormous up-tick in flu cases these past few days, and apparently I am the victim of one. I haven’t been this sick for this long in a few years. It is sooo crappy.

But here’s the point: I just woke up half an hour ago, and I’m totally going back to bed right now. I hate to do that because you guys know I love you and I want you to have gossip all day long, but I really just need to sleep now. I’m gonna try to post more later tonight, but the news is slow today so I don’t think you guys are missing out on anything.

Here’s Tom Cruise at the Daytona 500 yesterday with that child of his who’s not an adorable baby. I believe his name is Connor, and I think Tom is starting to do more events with him because he’s trying to launch a film career. Connor was in the Will Smith flick Seven Pounds.

Okay. Bed.

Despite my deep personal belief that it’s all a sham, Marc Anthony and J. Lo appeared as happy and in love as ever at Anthony’s Madison Square Garden Valentine’s Day concert.  They even terrified their Dragon Tales, Max and Emme, by bringing them onstage to be greeted by thousands of screaming fans.  My two-year-old can’t handle the lady at the deli offering him cheese.  I can’t even fathom how he’d react to seeing himself on a Jumbotron.

I have a personal policy not to make fun of children other than my own.  But remember how Alexa Joel was cursed?  A beautiful supermodel of a mom and she ended up looking exactly like her dad?  Unfortunate.  Let’s hope the twins dodge a similar fate.

Lindsay looks perfectly healthy at yesterday’s Matthew Williamson store opening.  Wasn’t she too sick to fulfill one of her obligations just this weekend?  She recovered so quickly!  Man, Lindsay gets the best over the counter and prescribed drugs ever.  Linds, share!  I’ve been sick for five days now.

Miraculous pictures in gallery-standing next to Rachel Zoe actually makes Linds look like she has body fat.

“Parents should say, ‘Drugs might seem fun, but they do funny things to your brain. Some people react to it good, some don’t. Try it and see what you think.’”

The wildly intelligent Lily Allen, the last person that I’ll be taking parenting advice from, enlightening the masses in a Revu interview.  I want to tell Lily and all her followers this:  you can’t approach the topic of heroin with your children in the same fashion you approach, say, broccoli.

Allen’s spokesperson was quick to confirm that Lily does not condone the use of any illegal substances.  Clearly.

Reports are flying all over the place that Kate Moss is three months pregnant by boyfriend Jamie Hince.  The only glimmer of hope that this isn’t true is that this news item is being sourced from a News Of The World article that confirms her spermination.

Kate did go on a beer bender at a recent Roberto Cavalli photo shoot.  She showed up two hours late for the shoot, downed beer after beer while getting hair and makeup done, and walked out as soon as the session was over.  What does all this mean?  Well, hopefully it means that she’s just bloated from booze and isn’t actually manufacturing a human being.

Like many mysteries never to really be understood, how can so many adept and capable people struggle with infertility yet Kate Moss still has functioning ovaries?  Seriously, there are no answers.

Salma Hayek and father of her tri-lingual ghost hunter baby, billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault, married on Valentine’s Day in City Hall located in central Paris.

Though the couple split last summer, they were soon seen spending time together again, fueling reconciliation rumors.  Sounds like rich Gucci guy came up with a pre-nup that Salma and wondertot Valentina could live with.  With an estimated $16.9B fortune at stake, I certainly hope so!

Best of luck to the happy couple!