You really didn’t think we’d make it through an entire New York Fashion Week without Paris Hilton showing up, did you? (Well, I was hoping.)

Paris showed up at Jill Stuart’s show, and held court alongside Kristen Bell, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jessica Stroup and sis Nicky. (Amanda Bynes is sitting next to Nicky, but you can’t see her in most of these shots.)

Paris is the same size as Jessica Stroup these days. That’s scary skinny! What’s with everyone losing weight these days?

Oh, and I love Paris’s tights here. The little design on the side is way cool. I want a pair. They probably cost more than my car.

Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez decided to sit down in front of their laptop camera and dance around to a bunch of different songs, giving shout-outs to The Veronicas and Britney, among others.

Somehow, this is less annoying than a Miley YouTube and less interesting.

How is that possible?

Despite the rumors running around that Kate Moss is preggers, she claims she’s just growing boobs (and a Buddha belly! Like me! Buddha bellies are so hot right now).

She says in an interview with New York magazine:

“”I’ve just started wearing bras. It’s a miracle. Great timing for my lingerie collection. I’ve just grown breasts … I am a woman now. It’s true. Honestly, I’ve never worn a bra in my life. Ever! It’s so awful, even my friends are phoning me up and saying, ‘Are you pregnant?’ And I’m like, ‘No! I just put on a couple of pounds and they went in the right place.’ Isn’t that weird? Now I can fill a B-cup.”

Kate Moss has already birthed an entire child. How is that she’s just now putting on weight? Not fair.

Thank goodness this shit is done and we can get Hayden on the singles scene as an adult. I think there will be a lot of fun to be had.

Hayden and her man, Milo Ventimiglia, are over.

“It was a lifestyle conflict,” a source close to the couple says, adding that the split happened within the last week. “They were in very different places.”

Um, yeah. Like Milo’s 30-something and Hayden is a 19-year-old sex symbol.

The source says Hayden “is young. She likes to go out in the Hollywood scene and that’s not his style.”

Hells yeah!

A single Hayden out on the Hollywood scene!

Hide your whales!

Hi again! I just took a nap, a shower, then talked on the phone with my best friend for like an hour. I haven’t talked to her in forever, and she makes me laugh harder than anyone on the planet, and I’m feeling better now. Still pretty icky, but my spirits are much higher. It is so hard to be trapped in the house alone for so many days. She and I have been best friends since we were little kids, and it’s so funny how we can go without really talking for so long and then, when we do talk, she still knows exactly how to cheer me up. I think we talked for a full hour about different ways we’d made asses of ourselves while drunk. I will not be documenting most of these stories in print, but I will share one of hers that she told me. I will be referring to her as Alice, which is not her real name. :)

Apparently at the start of her freshman year in college, her dorm had a mandatory meeting on, like, a Saturday evening or something. Alice showed up wasted. It was supposed to be a relatively short meeting, and everyone was looking forward to going out for the night, but Alice decided she wanted to (drunkenly) discuss the issue of how they weren’t allowed to have toasters in the dorms. “All I eat every meal is Eggo waffles with peanut butter and chocolate chips!” she said. “If I don’t have a toaster, I will surely die.” The RAs were like, “Um, no toasters,” and Alice was like, “I don’t understand this! We’re allowed to have hair straighteners. Those would do the same thing to an Eggo as a toaster. Why can’t I have a toaster??? DO YOU WANT ME TO TOAST MY EGGO WITH A HAIR STRAIGHTENER??” and she continued on like this for a full hour, while everyone was desperately wanting to leave the meeting. She said she had some trouble making friends after that, but eventually people came around. She never did get her toaster. But I just can’t get the mental image of Alice toasting an Eggo waffle with a hair straightener out of my head. I’m still laughing about it as I type this.

I guess the whole point of this is that, if the cops could make drug and alcohol arrests based on photos, everybody I know with a Facebook page would currently be in jail. We all would have been arrested in college. EVERY DAY.

As such, Phelpsy is safe, after authorities spent the GIGANTIC SURPLUS OF MONEY IN THIS ECONOMY investigating a stupid picture of him sucking on a huge glass … uh … tobacco pipe.

Says the Richland Country Sheriff: “Having thoroughly investigated this matter, we do not believe we have enough evidence to prosecute anyone that was present at the November party.”

OF COURSE YOU DON’T. You people are idiots, and this matter never should have been pursued in the first place. What a horrible use of tax-payer money.

Phelpsy again issued an apology: “I’m glad this matter is put to rest. But there are also some important lessons that I’ve learned. For me, it’s all about recognizing that I used bad judgment and it’s a mistake I won’t make again. For young people especially – be careful about the decisions you make. One bad decision can really hurt you and the people you care about.”

I am certain that the 23-year-old global superstar will never again smoke pot out of a ginormous bong … on camera.

Hi guys.

I know this is unbelievable, but I am still sick. Wendie is too, and I love her for working this morning even though she is. I was starting to feel better on Sunday but today it somehow sucks again. This flu going around is unbelievable! My grandpa said he saw on the news that there has been an enormous up-tick in flu cases these past few days, and apparently I am the victim of one. I haven’t been this sick for this long in a few years. It is sooo crappy.

But here’s the point: I just woke up half an hour ago, and I’m totally going back to bed right now. I hate to do that because you guys know I love you and I want you to have gossip all day long, but I really just need to sleep now. I’m gonna try to post more later tonight, but the news is slow today so I don’t think you guys are missing out on anything.

Here’s Tom Cruise at the Daytona 500 yesterday with that child of his who’s not an adorable baby. I believe his name is Connor, and I think Tom is starting to do more events with him because he’s trying to launch a film career. Connor was in the Will Smith flick Seven Pounds.

Okay. Bed.