Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh. My God.

photo of brad pitt pictures photos moneyball 2011 hot pics

OK. Brad Pitt may just have reaffirmed his “hottest man alive” status in my book. Or near there, anyway. Have you seen these promo shots? They are unbelievable. The pictures are gearing up for Brad and Jonah Hill‘s latest film, Moneyball, and even Jonah’s looking … well, good. I mean, he’s lost so much weight recently that my head’s spinning and I’m kind of concerned that I’m finding him mildly attractive and not-at-all repulsive these days, but damn, Brad Pitt. Damn. DAMN!

From IMDB:

[Moneyball is] … the story of Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane’s successful attempt to put together a baseball club on a budget by employing computer-generated analysis to draft his players.

So, OK. The movie doesn’t sound great. In fact, even just keywords in the plot make me want to definitely not see this movie (baseball club … draft his players … nah). But I will look at as many photos of Jonah and Brad as I possibly can. And then I will move on.

Love It or Leave It: How Good Does Natalie Portman Look?

photo of natalie portman post pregnancy baby pictures photos

Doesn’t she? I’m not quite sure if I’m a fan of the jumper-romper thing she’s got going on there, but otherwise, she looks positively adorable, and totally amazing and normal for just giving birth to her son not even twelve weeks ago! I think after my first daughter was born, it took me the better part of fourteen months to look like this (but I’m willing to be that it was probably because of all of that rice pudding).

What do you guys think of Natalie?

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Look, More Disney Kids Are Having Kids!

photo of trace cyrus and brenda song pregnant pictures photos

The funny thing, when I went to go look up Trace Cyrus‘s and Brenda Song‘s respective ages, just looking for more fuel to feed the indignation fire, I found out that … they’re not actually all that young. Trace was 22 this year, and Brenda was 23. You know what this means, don’t you? It means I’m getting old.

Trace, you might recognize, as Miley Cyrus‘s older brother. Here’s a few fun facts about boyfriend:

  • Though he’s Miley’s kin, he’s only her half-brother; Mama Tish bore him of another man, y’all
  • He briefly dated Demi Lovato
  • Trace has the words “Stay Gold” tattooed on his fists
  • He dropped out of high school
  • He does vocals and guitar in two bands, Metro Station and Ashland HIGH

As for expectant mommy, Brenda Song, here’s another few tidbits:

  • A role on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody made her Disney-famous and later starred in Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior (which, no, I did not see) among other “feature” films
  • In 2006, she was named “Queen of Disney” (that just doesn’t sound very promising either)
  • She was also in The Social Network, if you can believe it
  • In 2004, she shared a magazine cover with Lindsay Lohan
  • According to Time magazine, Song is one of three Disney starlets who haven’t yet been involved in any kind of partying/drugs/sex scandal (Hilary Duff and Raven-Symone are the other two)

Consider yourself up to speed!

Me, though, I don’t know. You ask me, it looks like another Weston Cage situation just waiting to happen. Maybe it’s the creepy-looking dyed black hair and intensity burning below the surface (or maybe that’s just a urinary tract infection I’m thinking of), but this has the potential to maybe not play out so well. However, if Trace turns out to be one of those sensitive-like emo guys, and does something … I don’t know, better with his hair, he could actually be quite attractive. It could really go either way, friends.

Some Evil Person Mailed White Powder to Craig Ferguson

A photo of Late Late Show's Craig Ferguson

What kind of horrible person would do this? Someone who hates laughter? Someone who hates fun? The Associated Press reports that Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson was mailed a threatening letter containing white powder; both the LAPD and the FBI are investigating. (Neither agency will discuss details, of course, but we do know the letter was sent from France. The powder itself was confirmed as harmless.)

This is really creepy stuff, though! Craig Ferguson seems like a totally arbitrary target, on the one hand. On the other, he is a true American patriot—you can tell by that Tardis he keeps on his desk. (Wait, what?)

Oh, well. At least Mr. Ferguson is keeping a cool head about the whole thing. In fact, he made the incident the subject of his opening monologue last night (and he made more lighthearted jokes about “mysterious white powder” than Lindsay Lohan can shake a stick at):

D’awwww! He’s so cavalier in the face of adversity. Stay safe, Craig!

Christmas Must Have Come Early: New Florence and the Machine!

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about music right now. Just a couple of weeks ago I showed you the beautiful new tune from Marina and the Diamonds, and last night while I was perusing some Facebooks I saw that Jack’s Mannequin is releasing a new album in October. And THEN today one of my very very favorites, Florence and the Machine, released a new song as well! GET BETTER, LIFE, I DARE YOU!

This song simply astounds, right? Is there any other new music I should know about?

The Hutchisons Are Getting A Reality Show. Yes.

Did you squeal too? I think I squealed. I don’t know, I made some sound when I heard this news that made my little guinea pig run back inside his house. But anyway, how glorious is this? My new favorite celebrities and models for soulmates, Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, are getting their very own reality show! And it’s about damn time.

I can’t embed the video where the Hutchisons reveal their reality show plans (it’s on Radar, and I strongly suggest you watch it), but rest assured that Courtney believes that “it’s going to be a reality show like no other. Out of this world.” Then again, it’s not finalized yet – the couple says that right now they’re being “seduced” by producers and they’re in talks of shopping it around to networks – but come on, who wouldn’t want this show to happen?

Other gems from the interview include, well, everything. At one point, Doug says “51 plus 16 equals love,” and Courtney corrects him with “51 plus 16 equals sexy love.” Really, have you ever seen this couple in action? They don’t even seem real. That’s why I included that interview above, just so you could see how outstandingly ridiculous a reality show would be. Really, just watch Courtney move her lips. It’s beautiful.

I’d watch the hell out of this show, what about you guys?

Did Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith Break Up?

A photo of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith at the Grammys

So I just spent a very long time at the post office, waiting to pick up a package. The clerk took my little orange slip and wandered off, and I literally never saw her again. Thirty minutes later—that’s 30 real-world minutes, not 30 “feels-like” minutes—a guy peered out at me and asked me if I needed anything. I was fuming, of course, because all of this occurred after I got off the phone with State Farm (I’m on Month Two of begging an adjuster to look at my car, which was brand new, was in a catastrophic hailstorm, and now resembles Edward James Olmos). I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE.

Wait, what? What’s that you say? Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett Smith may have split up? That doesn’t sound like the happy couple at all!

But that was the News of the Day, thanks to InTouch‘s report that the couple has separated after 13 splendiferous years of marriage. Thirteen years! That’s such a long time! Thirteen years is like standing in line at the post office annex 113,000 times!

But InTouch‘s report, based on claims from an anonymous source, was three whole sentences long. (And the story still managed, somehow, to go ‘viral’ instantly.)

The couple’s reps immediately went into Damage Control mode. First, a “source close to the spouses” blasted the rumor, Us reported. Next, Will and Jada’s son Trey denied the story on his Twitter account. Then Jada’s rep, Karynne Tencer, issued a statement to Entertainment Tonight (Pink is the New Blog remains skeptical, however). Then Will and Jada issued a joint statement, flatly denying the story. TMZ:

The statement reads, “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false.”

The two add, “We are still together, and our marriage is intact.”

Um, how bad did InTouch Weekly step in it? Pretty freaking bad—the latest word is, the couple’s motherloving legal team is now involved. Nice “exclusive,” InTouch.