Another photo of Lady Gaga’s penis? [The Superficial]
What kind of a-hole burns hundred-dollar bills? Oh, this dude. [Bossip]
DMX caught with drugs in prison. [TMZ]
Mila Kunis: half-naked and talking about how big of a “Trekkie” she is. [Starpulse]
Is Renee Zellweger dating John Stamos?! [Lainey Gossip]
Jewel’s a mama. [LA Times]
Zooey Deschanel fires back at columnist who called her a “snobby cow.” [Socialite Life]
Joe Jonas was pelted with balls. [Yeeeah]
LISTEN HERE – Demi Lovato: “I cried my eyes out” recording new single. [Celebuzz]
Tons of Spike Lee movies on their way. [Pajiba]
Jessica Alba whines about her post-baby body. [Amy Grindhouse]
Megan Fox is pissed that Shia outed their sex sessions. [Cele|bitchy]
The gonorrhea superbug has arrived. And I don’t mean Paris Hilton’s spawn. [The Frisky]
Lady Gaga got egged. [Rumor Fix]
July 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm by Sarah
I think the last time I saw TAT, she was fourteen months pregnant and looking pretty uncomfortable with herself. Here, though, she’s photographed in New York City promoting the new season of her series, White Collar.
Me, I have just two questions: one, does anyone here watch that White Collar show – I’ve heard some pretty good things about it – and two, will I ever look at this woman and not automatically think “Kelly Kapowski“?
July 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address! (Oh, and check your email for your winner’s notice, too, OK?)
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Tyra Banks photo: Tomatolove12
“John (thinking): PLEASE let her be wearing a flattering swimsuit this time.”
First runner-up: Sarah
“…and then Billy Bob walked up to Dwight Yoakam with that lawnmower blade, and….”
Second runner-up: Megan
“Oops! I dropped my burrito. Oh it’s in that guy’s pants. I’m just gonna bend down and grab this…”
Congrats to Tomatolove12! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!
July 12, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah
I watched The Daily Show last night because, like many twentysomethings with short attention spans, I need Jon Stewart to report and interpret current events for me. And it was just the most. Ooh, you would’ve loved Denis Leary and his beautiful hair.
The very best bit came early in the episode when, in the midst of anchorperson Jon Stewart complaining about the state of our bedraggled nation, correspondent John Oliver miraculously appeared—umbrella in hand, in imitation of a certain magical English nanny—to promise Stewart, and all Americans, that Great Britain is in much deeper, much more debauched crap than we.
Oliver, with his darling wire-rimmed eyeglasses and moppet-hair and adorable accent, explains the whole sensational scandal with media impresario Rupert Murdoch and his News of the World tabloid. See, America? Don’t we feel better now?
Watch for the conclusion where John Oliver opens his umbrella, clambers onto Stewart’s newsdesk, and pantomimes “floating” away. It is super-cute. But also a ponderous indictment of gossip-mongering. Cute and horrible; that’s how I take my lumps, thank you.
July 12, 2011 at 10:30 am by Jenn
Somewhere, somehow, somebody convinced a roomful of executives that a reboot of Dallas would be the ultimate in Exciting Television.
The Powerpoint presentation, probably:
“Good afternoon. We recently asked ourselves, ‘Selves, what dead franchise from the 1970s and ’80s can we reanimate?’ And then we began to wonder which dead careers we could reanimate, too.
“We believe we have finally solved those puzzles, and more. The TNT network has long sought an audience among the profitable, elusive demographic of elderly women (“boomers”) and also their granddaughters (“Millenials”), all while saving money. How better, then, than to cast cadaverous has-beens alongside a much younger generation of has-beens?
“That’s why we propose The New Adventures of Dallas. Larry Hagman’s Eyebrows will once again star as patriarch J.R. Ewing! And Step By Step‘s Patrick Duffy returns to the fold as J.R.’s brother, Bobby Ewing! As you can see from this promotional still, we also got the dead lady from Desperate Housewives.
“But maybe most importantly, the return of Dallas gives Jesse Metcalfe something—anything—to do. He’ll portray Bobby Ewing’s adopted son. And in the role of Obvious Rival, we hired actor Josh Henderson, who is wearing a big hat, which symbolizes that he is J.R. Ewing, only younger. Basically, we cast every budget player from Desperate Housewives we could afford. Look! Jordana Brewster!”
Images courtesy TNT via Popbytes
July 12, 2011 at 9:30 am by Jenn
And of course they do that tired old (but still somehow lovely) song by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. And of course they fail miserably. And of course I haven’t been able to stop watching this video since about 3:00 AM last night.
There are three thoughts that stick out strongly in my mind:
3. I’m officially rooting for these crazy kids.
Feel free to add your thoughts and feelings in the comments!