Just in case you hadn’t noticed them before, she put a big ole star on them and framed them with a… is that a gun holster? What is that?

The Dutchess did her best Tomb Raider impression on the red carpet at this Saturday’s 102.7 KIIS FM Wango Tango event– which does not refer to a Ted Nugent song, but a Summer Concert held in Irvine, CA.

Lady Gaga was also present, but turned the corner from delightfully insane antics to just plain old pyschosis when she started laying wet ones on Perez Hilton. Let’s all hope she soon goes back to talking to her tea cups.

Sasha reported on Thursday about nude photos of singer Cassie Ventura that were supposedly stolen from her computer when someone “hacked” into it.  In those publicity shots leaked photographs, you could really only see her breasitcles, and Cassie herself responded to the leak, saying, “At the end of the day breasts are breasts, mine weren’t the first you’ve seen and they won’t be the last…”

I hope she has equally sage advice for the masses when it comes to vaginas. Today, even raunchier photos of Cassie surfaced, including one very, very NSFW picture of her, taken from the business end of a spread eagle with nothing between you and her Cervix but a few piercings. Take a peek.

I think if I was going to allow  some guy with a camera unlimited access to my ovaries, I’d at least make sure I had some good lighting. Nothing worse than a poorly-lit pussy shot. In fact, this photo is shady in a number of different ways. In the first “leaked” pics she had her hair and makeup done and actually looked attractive, while this one is of much poorer quality and makes her look disgustng. People are saying that’s her, but it doesn’t look like the same person to me. What do you think?

Actor Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer welcomed a new little face to the family this Saturday.

“I can confirm the Maguires had a baby boy today and the family is healthy and happy,” Maguire’s rep tells Us Weekly.

The couple, who tied the knot in 2007, are also parents to 2-year-old daughter Ruby Sweetheart.

I just thought I’d remind you that they named their daughter Ruby Sweetheart. Like you could forget.

The name of the new baby boy hasn’t been released, but one can only hope that this time the couple will decide upon a name that does not sound like either a Racehorse or a character from Rainbow Brite. Or a stripper. Or a variety of grapefruit.

Adriana Lima used to be my “one.” And I don’t mean “one” in the sense Jack Donaghy meant it on that episode of 30 Rock a few weeks ago. I mean the “one” as in the answer to the question straight people like to ask each other when the party is winding down, they’ve had too much to drink to be able to go to sleep right away, and there is nothing but 1970′s reruns of Soul Train on TV. That is, “Who would you swap teams for?”

For one friend, the answer to that question (his “one”) was David Bowie– which is questionable because David Bowie is not really on anyone’s team, except maybe Iggy Pop’s.

But my “one” was Adriana Lima. I’ve been getting the Victoria’s Secret catalog since I was 17 years old and have always been intrigued by the sultry brunette with the pouty lips.

Lately however, every time I’ve seen her she’s been less and less attractive. It’s not as if she looks terrible. It’s just that she doesn’t look nearly as sexy as she used to. I can’t quite put my finger on it.  She just always looks disheveled. It’s as if there is just something– her hair, her makeup, her posture– that is a little off each time, like a functioning alcoholic struggling to keep her appearance up.

What you see above is what was left of her when she attended the launch of Victoria’s Secret’s new Noir collection this Saturday in New York. In the gallery, you can also see a hilarious picture of her trying to look sexy with a very unhappy pussy.

I’m going to have to find a new “one.”

Ew. Just, ew. Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn’s divorce was finalized just last week, and it looks like part of the reason for the second split was because Sean just couldn’t keep his fingers out of the Natalie Portman honeypot. The two are rumored to have dated before, but sources now say that they have been back together since mid-March, and Sean’s blatant infidelity was the final straw.

Star Magazine reports that the two have been together ever since March 17th, when they were spotted making out at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar.

A source tells the magazine, “She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally. There’s a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean’s been with.”

Looks like  Wendie’s hopes for a Sean and Madonna revival are not going to be realized.

The Co-Directors of the Miss California U.S.A. pageant will hold a press conference on Monday to announce the fate of Carrie Prejean, whose tiara has been put in jeopardy due to possible contract violations stemming from public appearances she made with opponents of same-sex marriage and some undisclosed topless underwear ads she made as a teen.

The first runner up in the Miss California pageant will be present at the press conference, if that gives you any sort of hint as to which way this is going to go. Donald Trump has scheduled a press conference for later in the day, when he will talk about the controversy and gross everyone out with his disgusting, perpetually puckered butthole lips.

Even later in the day, the world will hold its own press conference to announce that everyone can now return to their normal state of  not giving a crap about the Miss U.S.A. pageant.