Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo

photo of steven tyler caption this funny pictures photos
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Miley Cyrus photo: Alex
“My father will make you pay for this Potter!!!”

First runner-up: Anonymous
“Hannah Montana pities the fool that don’t like big ass gold chains and lesbian haircuts (as defined by Marilyn Manson’s ex-girlfriend).”

Second runner-up: Kevin
Miley: “LIAM! What the hell happened to my damn tattoo with all those cool little words on my arm?!? Do you see it??”
Liam: “Uhh, Miles, it’s on your left arm…”

Congrats to Alex! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap! (And for the love of God, check your damn email if you want to win the prize! The first runner-up will be notified that they’re getting the prize if you don’t claim it, guys!)

theAMlinks

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iCarly in bikinis. What’s wrong with this picture? [The Superficial]

Let the Tom Cruise-hate begin. [Lainey Gossip]

Beyonce’s blowing Kim Kardashian off big time. [Bossip]

That Magic Mike guy and a girlfriend, maybe. [theBERRY]

Pippa Middleton and Chelsea Handler are fighting over a dude. [Cele|bitchy]

Prince Harry‘s huge blue balls. [Bohomoth]

I’d still totally hit it, and so would you. [Amy Grindhouse]

The latest photos of Ryan Gosling in an airport. [The Frisky]

Where’s the rest of Halle Berry? [I'm Not Obsessed]

Little kids call Prince Harry out over his nudity. [Socialite Life]

What the hell is happening to Amanda Bynes? [Celebslam]

VIDEO: Heidi Klum cheated on Seal. [Hollywood Dame]

Poor Michael Clarke Duncan. Poor Omarosa. What a sad situation. [The Blemish]

Vintage Gossip: Lady Gaga and the Shocker, or something. [IDLYITW]

Lindsay Lohan—just trash. [The Superficial]

Old-school Jonathan Knight. [Lainey Gossip]

President Obama is a “huge” Clint Eastwood fan. [Cele|bitchy]

Kristen Stewart Did Vogue Just Before Her Whole Life Fell Apart

A photo of Kristen Stewart

And it’s awful. But no, really. Look at that cover. Just look at what they did to her. Kristen Stewart is a pretty person, but Vogue really didn’t do her any favors here. I think what happened is that she’s wearing too much makeup, especially around the eyes, and the color, along with her greasy hair, dead eyes, and open mouth, make her look a little sickly. Also, that shirt is so stupid. Way to drop the ball, Vogue.

As for the interview, it’s kind of lame. It was done before that whole cheating thing, of course, so it’s just more of her talking about how real she is and how she’s just doing all of this for Art and blah blah Serious Actor*. Here are a few excerpts:

On being totally real: “I know if you haven’t thought about how you want to present a very packaged idea of yourself then it can seem like you lack ambition. But, dude, honestly? I can’t.  People expect it to be easy because there you are, out there, doing the thing that you want and making lots of money out of it. But, you know, I’m not that smooth. I can get clumsy around certain people. Like if I were to sit down and think, ‘OK, I’m really famous, how am I going to conduct myself in public?’ I wouldn’t know who that person would be! It would be a lot easier if I could, but I can’t.”

On the Beat generation: “There is always going to be that seam of people who want things differently to the standardized version. It’s not necessarily a rebellious thing, it’s just who they are. That world back then, it just seems freer to me than anything I could ever touch and I’m fully nostalgic for it, even though I wasn’t even alive then. It’s the loyalty aspect of it all. I love being on the periphery with a group of people who have the same values that I do. People who don’t get off on fame, who just like the process of making movies and thrive.”

It always makes me laugh when Kristen Stewart talks like that, like she’s so above all the actors who take roles and do things for fame. Because, you know, Twilight. And as for the rest of it, uh, whatever, I guess. When is she going to be doing her next interview? That one might be vaguely interesting.

*Why isn’t Kristen dating Shia LaBeouf?

Prince Harry’s Hookup Girl Tells All: He Just Wanted to Show Las Vegas His “Royal Jewels,” Guys

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The chick’s name is Carrie Reichert, a fellow Brit, and word has it that Prince Harry went out of his way to woo the lady (though, let’s be honest, would it really take all that much to woo anybody at all when you’re Prince Harry?), and though they had some fun, it was “nothing serious.” From the UK’s Mirror:

“We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun. He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted. The alcohol affected him. I was there for 15 to 20 minutes.”

So I’m assuming we can go ahead and draw our own conclusions that they didn’t sleep together, and that they probably would have if Harry … well, if Harry hadn’t drank so much that evening. Interesting, to say the least.

Carrie’s thirty-two, and this is her:

photo of carrie reichert pictures prince harry photos
Here’s more from the Mirror:

Carrie, 32, is the only girl to come forward to reveal her story of what happened on the now-infamous night when Harry, 27, was caught on camera frolicking naked with a girl after a game of “strip billiards”.

She first spotted the prince and his upper-crust pals when she was by the swimming pool at the Encore At Wynn hotel earlier that evening. Carrie, from San Diego, who was visiting Sin City with girlfriends, said: “They were walking around and I knew exactly who he was. “I was born in England and I’m pretty familiar with the royal family, but I didn’t know the guys he was with. I was the only one who knew who he was. Everybody else was like, ‘Who’s that?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my God, that’s Prince Harry!’ It was pretty clear who he was.”

Later one of Harry’s entourage ­approached Carrie and asked if she wanted to join his party in the penthouse. Carrie said: “They said ‘Hey, would you like to party with Prince Harry?’ I’m not going to pass an opportunity to party with Prince Harry. At first you think it’s a line. People will say anything to get you to go anywhere in Vegas. There was a bunch of us, it wasn’t just me and my girlfriends, it was just random. They were just picking really pretty girls, about 10 of us.”

Without being checked by security staff, Carrie and the group were taken upstairs to the VIP room where they found the party in full swing. Beautician Carrie said: “We all went up to this huge VIP high-roller suite, and went in and the music was going, alcohol was flowing. “Harry was already undressed. It was just crazy. He looked actually delirious. There was a pool table and he was ­playing air guitar with pool sticks.

“He was screaming out, ‘Somebody get me a glove! I’m going to do a Michael Jackson impression!’ He would just randomly walk up to you and hug you. He was just really friendly and there were just really ­random naked hugs. It was funny.”

Talking about the mobile phone ­pictures of naked Harry cuddling a mystery girl during the game of strip pool, Carrie said: “I didn’t actually see them play the game but it was there and it was going on. I saw the girl, there was just a lot of hugging and maybe some kissing. Just a lot of laughing. It seemed like he was overbearing a …

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Love It or Leave It: Justin Bieber Got Another Tattoo

A photo of Justin Bieber

Yep, that’s a little crown on his chest. If we’re going by his other tattoos, it’s either something religious or cocky. Which do you think it is?

But because it’s just too exhausting to analyze Justin’s stupid face or his silly tattoos, let’s just review a couple of his most recent tweets, all right?

let’s make it about the music. get #BELIEVE for a friend, a hater, anyone who doesnt know and let’s see how the music efffects them.

give #BELIEVE and convert a hater. let the music do the talking.

Ha!  And then his fans said things like “believe is one of the best albums I’ve heard” and “the album Believe changed my life” and “listen to Believe it will change u” and “Believe will convert the haterzzzzz.”  But friends, just to be real with you, I’ve listened to quite a few songs from this new album, and it really didn’t change my life. All it did was give me a giggle or two. If you need something that will change your life, try reading The Secret or something, because I don’t think this will really do it for you.

And finally, I want to share with you an image of the only truly entertaining thing Justin Bieber has ever done:

A photo of Justin Bieber

While his music may not be for everyone, and while his words may not touch every heart, his acting skills are truly untouchable.

RIP, Michael Clarke Duncan

A photo of Michael Clarke Duncan

Michael Clarke Duncan, the guy you might know from the most heartbreaking movie of all time, The Green Mile, had a heart attack on July 13th. It was serious, but his girlfriend was able to resuscitate him by giving him CPR. Even though Michael remained in the hospital, it looked like he was going to make a full recovery.

Sadly, that didn’t happen, and he passed away yesterday morning. Here’s the report that TMZ posted last night:

Michael Clarke Duncan, star of such movies as “The Green Mile” and “The Whole Nine Yards,” passed away this morning. He was 54.

According to our sources, his passing came very suddenly. We’re told his fiancee, Omarosa Manigault, was with him in his hospital room in Los Angeles and left for a short period of time. When she returned … he had died.

Our sources say Omarosa’s mother was with him when he passed.

Duncan’s rep tells TMZ the actor never fully recovered from the myocardial infarction he suffered on July 13. As TMZ first reported, Omarosa found Duncan in cardiac arrest and performed CPR and was able to resuscitate him before calling 911.

The rep tells us, “[Omarosa] Manigault is grateful for all of your prayers and asks for privacy at this time. Celebrations of his life, both private and public, will be announced at a later date.”

Duncan was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of John Coffey in “The Green Mile.” He worked as a bodyguard for celebrities like Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jamie Foxx, LL Cool J, and Notorious B.I.G. before he got his break.

And just in case you wanted an extra sad, we are now learning that Michael and his girlfriend, Omarosa, were planning to get married in January.

Let’s all just keep Omarosa and Michael and his family and everyone in the world who happens to be going through sad, awful things in our thoughts today, all right? But whatever you do, please don’t think it’s a good idea to watch The Green Mile tonight. Your heart can’t take it, no matter how much ice cream you have. Promise.

Elisha Cuthbert is Engaged!

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Oh man. This girl. This girl is so hot, seriously. She’s like a Michelle Williams vixen. No! Wait! Dawson’s Creek reference—she’s just like Jen Lindley. Only a smidge HOTTER.

And contrary to popular belief (OK, well, my belief) that Elisha’s currently engaged to Ted Danson circa Cheers. What’s that? Don’t believe me? Or, worse, don’t know who Ted Danson or—dare I say it—Cheers is? Here:

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No, Elisha’s brand-new fiance is named Dion Phaneuf, he’s a Canadian hockey player, and he’s pretty cute.

Girlfriend’s long, long ways away from the hooking-up-with-Paris Hilton days, thank God.

Congratulations!