Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rihanna Has A New Single Out

A photo of Rihanna

It’s called “Diamonds.” It’s the first single from her new album, which is going to be released in November. The cover for the single, as you can see, shows Rihanna rolling a joint of diamonds. Did I miss anything?

Oh, here’s the actual song:

Weird, right? And by “weird,” I obviously mean “I don’t hate it that much,” which is a very unusual reaction for me to have to a Rihanna song. The only song of hers that I’ve even halfway sort of been able to tolerate was “Unfaithful,” and that’s only because my favorite drag queen did a really great performance of it. I just don’t get her appeal musically, like, at all, and while I don’t think I ever will, I do have to admit that this new song isn’t completely awful. Like, I wouldn’t turn it off if it came on the radio probably.

But how do you guys feel about it?

theAMlinks

photo of arnold schwarzenegger pictures
Ah-nold should probably lay off the plastic surgery now, maybe. [The Superficial]

Is Liv Tyler dating Benedict Cumberbatch? [Lainey Gossip]

The very next Rihanna and Chris Brown. [Bossip]

Who got the first boot on Dancing With the Stars. [Starpulse]

Ann Romney eats like a celebrity. [TMZ]

Lady Gaga’s underwear pics. [The Blemish]

Fun with Photoshop, not insults with Photoshop. [theBERRY]

Jaden Smith‘s new RAP SONG. [Huff Po]

17 Of the Best Teen Shows Ever. [Socialite Life]

Why is Scarlett Johansson “heartbroken”? [Bohomoth]

Kim Kardashian split another dress. [Cele|bitchy]

… And her pussy’s really angry, too. [Cele|bitchy]

No Doubt‘s new video. [Popbytes]

Madonna‘s going to win the Presidential Election for Obama for sure. [IDLYITW]

Beyonce‘s drunk baby. [Amy Grindhouse]

So, Kourtney Kardashian DIDN’T kick Scott to the curb. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Wait, Liberty Ross IS wearing her wedding ring. Never mind. [Splash]

Gisele Bundchen goes see-through. [G Celeb]

Why Pamela Anderson is crying. [Hollywood PQ]

Sofia Vergara Tweets her bare ass. [Starpulse]

Winona Ryder and … Johnny Depp?! [Lainey Gossip]

Seth MacFarlane is hitting it with Game of Thrones vagina. [The Superficial]

Today’s Bad Fashion Brought to You by Kim Kardashian and the Letters W, T, and F

So this is what Kim wore at the airport last night. Because this is the best kind of attire to fly in, don’t you know. Tight, hot leather bodices and heavy cotton skirts covered with … I don’t even know what those bat-wing looking things are, but it and they, both, look stifling, uncomfortable, and above all, she looks like she smells. No, seriously, hear me out—look at her hair. It’s greasy. And it looks like it just stinks. I mean, why go through the motions of trying to look all vogue and what not to sit on a damn plane for a few hours if you’re not even going to wash your hair? That’s just gross, guys. And she‘s gross. Let’s be real here.

See, I’m going to be on one of them aeroplane things early, early this Saturday morning, and you want to know what my fly-day outfit is gonna be? It’s a pair of Nike Cortez. A pair of ankle-cropped sweatpants. A v-neck t-shirt. Oh, and let’s not forget the pièce de résistance—a zip-front hooded sweatshirt. And I will wash my hair, make no mistake.

Bleurgh.

Quotables: Russell Brand Talks Katy Perry Split Again

photo of katy perry and russell brand together pictures

“Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it don’t, but if you sort of sense there’s an incompatibility, then in any relationship regardless of the status of the individual, it kind of is best to go separate ways. I think if you’re someone who’s really into mountain biking, it would be good to go out with someone else who’s into mountain biking, and if you’re really into Eastern mysticism, go out with someone else who into Eastern mysticism. I think if you’re a devoted tennis professional and you get married to a crystal meth addict, you might have trouble … I’ve been in a lot of trouble.”

So … what’s he saying? Does Katy like mountain biking? Did they break up over mountain biking? Because man, I know that if I were married to someone who was always up my ass to go mountain biking (I’m not a fan of mountain biking, or, to be quite honest, exercising much in any form—I’m more of a, “Hey, you go mountain biking, and while you’re gone, I’ll cook a lovely dinner and homemade apple pie, and after dinner, we could watch reruns of I Love Lucy” or some shit and oh by the way I’m going to stay in my pajamas and drink wine the entire damn time, OK?”), then jeez. I’d divorce their sorry exercise-maniac self, too. Gosh.

No, but seriously. Of course I get him. I understand what Russell‘s saying. I’m not a complete moron, I promise. He’s saying that there was just a staggering bit of incompatibility, and I get that. And to be quite honest, though I don’t think his stand-up routine is the funniest thing in the world (my personal favorite? Mitch Hedberg. OH MY GOD was that guy funny as balls), I do seem to like him more and more each and every time he opens his mouth lately.

Russell, +4, Katy -12.

Here’s Mitch, by the way. It’s not his funniest stuff, but even his non-funniest stuff is the funniest stuff I ever heard, which I know, makes no sense. And which is probably why I like Mitch so much, too, because he also makes no sense. That seems to be a common theme with me. Mitch:

Quotables: Shia LaBeouf Has Big Plans for The Future

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

“Me and my girlfriend are getting ready to build an aquaponics farm up in Cambria. Aquaponics is the future, dude. Aquaculture is the study of fish, and then hydroponics is the study of plants growing without soil. So when you marry those two things you wind up with an ecosystem. Say you get a big tankful of 12 catfish and on top of it you put a floaty device that has holes in it. And you take a cup and poke a hole in that cup and put a seed in that cup and put it on top of that water. That will give you fruit forever and fish forever. You never have to change the water. It’s amazing and it’s not seasonal, so say you’re growing cucumbers in a warehouse in the winter, that’s money!”

- Shia LaBeouf says something that’s just, like, so Shia.

No really, that’s all. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what Shia’s saying here, and if wants to build some farm, then good on him. It’s just such a very Shia LaBeouf thing to say, and it made me laugh. That’s all. Like Shia and his girlfriend (who, as we all know, should totally be Kristen Stewart) are just going to build this farm and then hang out on a futon and get high and watch the fish. And then try to get the fish high. And then try to get the plants high.

So Shia.

Bobbi Kristina Was in A Bad Car Accident, Is OK, Is Still Dating Her Brother

A photo of Bobbi Kristina

You guys remember this story, right? When Bobbi Kristina was about nine years old, Whitney took in this 12-year-old boy named Nick. The two lived as brother and sister, and referred to each other as brother and sister, and then earlier this year they started dating, and it was weird. You remember that, surely.

The last we heard about the relationship was that they’d gotten engaged, but that was from shady sources, and it was all the way back in March. I haven’t heard all that much about these two since, but it looks like they’re still going strong. Strong enough to be fighting hard enough to wreck a car, drive it home, and then get the police called on them for having too loud a fight, anyway.

From TMZ:

Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina was involved in a scary car accident in Georgia — DESTROYING the entire front end of the vehicle.

The black 2012 Camaro belongs to Bobbi’s boyfriend Nick Gordon — and according to sources close to Bobbi, Nick was driving Sunday night in Alpharetta, GA … with Bobbi in the passenger seat … when the accident happened.

The details surrounding the accident are unclear, but we’re told the couple had been arguing at the time of the crash — and Nick’s Camaro was the only car involved. No one was injured.

After the accident, the car was missing the front right tire, the front bumper was torn off, and the airbags were deployed — but somehow it got back to Bobbi and Nick’s apartment.

Cops went to the apartment soon after the accident for a noise complaint, but no one answered the door.

According to the incident report, officers saw the car parked outside the apartment with its hazard lights on — and it appeared it had been driven in a damaged state.

We’re told the accident is currently under investigation. Calls to Bobbi’s people were not returned.

I can’t tell if this is a classic case of a lovers’ quarrel or sibling rivalry. And that’s weird. Either way, how hard do you have to be fighting to wreck a car like this? Hard enough to reconsider your entire relationship, do you think?

I Can’t Believe I’m Doing This, But …

photo of bristol palin pic
I know. I hate talking about Bristol Palin, too, and it’s a genuine hate—it’s not one of those things where you love to rag on the person, so you constantly go on and on about them (ahem, Lana Del Rey), I legitimately do not like talking about Bristol Palin. I think she’s a messed-up, backwards fool with abhorrent social ideas and a self-centeredness that could make even Paris Hilton look like an admirable humanitarian.

What I do want to talk about, however, since I went ahead and did it anyway, is Bristol’s face. On Dancing With the Stars. Because it looks even further tweaked than it has in the past, and I’m thinking Little Mommy went and got a facelift for her stint on DWTS‘ Allstars Whateverthef-ck. Compare: this is Bristol on the show the first time around:

photo of bristol palin dancing with the stars season 1 pic
And then this is from when she got her major “dental surgery”:

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And finally, this is Bristol now, on this season of Dancing With the Stars:

photo of bristol palin new season dancing with the stars pic
And I’m not talking, like, major overhaul or anything, but it definitely looks like she’s been … well, tweaked. Again. And for that? Well. I do what I do every single time I have to write about Bristol Palin—I laugh. Because that’s what she makes me do, guys. Because she’s so dumb.