Today's Evil Beet Gossip

And Here’s The Cover of Octomom’s Single

A photo of Nadya Suleman

With all of the great news that we’ve been hearing about Nadya “Octomom” Suleman this summer, you might have forgotten about this one amazing little tidbit: she’s recording a single. Remember? We discovered last month that she was in the studio working on the sure-to-be hit, “Get on the Dance Floor.”

But it’s a brand new month, and we now have the cover to that hit single. Are you ready for it?

A photo of Nadya Suleman

As you can see, she’s changed the title of her song to “Sexy Party,” and, as you can also see, the cover shows a sexy party indeed. A sexy church party. I thought that Jesus had inspired Octomom to develop her gift of music, but it turns out that she’s just a big Madonna fan:

We can all thank Madonna for Octomom’s topless album cover … because the mother of 14 says the pop icon inspired her to bare it all for her music.

Sources close to Octo tell TMZ … the cover art for “Sexy Party” is 100% Madonna inspired. We’re told the pop singer’s “Like a Virgin” style and need to sing about liberation struck a cord with Octo and she wanted to pay homage to that with her album art.

Sources tell us … the crosses in the background, the rosary and even Octo baring her boobies (sans nipples) was all in honor of Madge.

With Octomom becoming such a huge star, and with Madonna’s fading fame, I’m going to go ahead and call it: Madonna is going to open for Octomom’s world tour. Wait and see.

The Enquirer Is Serious About Macaulay Culkin

A photo of Macaulay Culkin

The National Enquirer, friend to us all, was the publication that originally brought us the story about Macaulay Culkin‘s (alleged) addiction to heroin and painkillers. When that story broke, Macaulay’s reps were quick to make a statement denying it all. I thought that would have been the end of it, but the Enquirer won’t give up quite so easily.

First, check out that cover. Dramatic, right? But you just wait until you read the heartfelt advice that they put up on their website:

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER hopes the cover story on its latest issue, “Home Alone” star Macaulay Culkin Addicted To Heroin – Only 6 Months To Live!” will act as a dramatic and much-needed wake-up call to the  31-year-old actor.

Our advice to Macaulay is to seek professional help to avoid the  same tragic fate of other beloved celebrities, including Whitney Houston who  died earlier this year.

We believe that the former child star should be doing everything he can to get the treatment he so desperately needs – and which could have saved the life of his friend Elijah Rosello.

Her family confirmed to The ENQUIRER that she did drugs with Macaulay before her drug-related death in March.

Should Macaulay’s representatives continue to deny The ENQUIRER’s accurate and detailed report, we are ready to offer him the opportunity to take a blood test administered by an independent medical lab.

It is a fact that as The ENQUIRER tracked Whitney Houston’s descent into her drug hell, she refused to admit she had a problem – and Whitney was represented by some of those people now denying Macaulay’s  potentially deadly problems.

The ENQUIRER editors would hate to see Macaulay end up like Whitney.

I still think that this whole story is true. The Enquirer has broken some pretty big stories in the past that did turn out to be true, and I don’t think they’d hit it this hard if they didn’t have some solid proof to back it up. But this is just starting to feel so icky. “The Enquirer editors would hate to see Macaulay end up like Whitney,” really? Does that sound like a good sentence to publish?

I hope that Macaulay can get some help too, but you don’t have to be so tacky about it.

But Who Are You Going to Vote for, Jenna Jameson?

A photo of Jenna Jameson

If there’s one thing I know about politics, it’s nothing. That’s why I think it’s so handy when famous people decide to speak up about their political views. Because why wouldn’t I trust someone who entertains me to guide me in all other aspects of my life?

That’s why I’m so thankful that one of the most famous porn stars in the whole world, Jenna Jameson, decided to let us know what she thinks is going to happen after this next presidential election:

“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office. When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”

Yep, that’s Jenna Jameson’s endorsement for Mitt Romney for president. Mitt Romney, who, by the way, is interested in outlawing porn. And no one is treating this like a joke. But it has to be a joke, right?

But hey, I wonder how Jenna feels about chicken sandwiches these days?

Jennifer Lopez Is Getting Sick of Casper Smart, Won’t Break Up with Him

A photo of Casper Smart and Jennifer Lopez

Don’t we all have that one friend who consistently dates douchebags just so she can be dating someone? And you’re like “uh, I don’t think this is going to turn out well at all,” but you keep you mouth shut because she’s happy right now and you don’t want to get all in her business? But then she finally starts realizing what a douchebag he really is, and you’re thankful that she’s finally coming to her senses, but also secretly a little pleased with yourself that you called it from the beginning?

That’s exactly how I feel about Jennifer Lopez right now. Except she’s not my friend, so I don’t have to hold it in. GIRL, I TOLD YOU!

From People:

Her whirlwind romance with Casper Smart began last Novemberas what one source close to the couple told PEOPLE was “a fun fling.”

But now, nearly a year later, could Jennifer Lopez be preparing to leave more than just her American Idol gig?

“He’s moved into her life – and a little too easily, too,” the source tells PEOPLE. “I think her family is watching him closely.”

Lopez’s possible cold front comes amid tabloid reports about Smart: One claims he visited a New York City exotic massage parlor, while another reports he was at a peep show next door. (Photographs show Smart going up a set of stairs that lead to the spa.) Lawyers for the couple call the stories “false, malicious and defamatory.”

Those rumors coincided with her 43rd birthday, which they celebrated together in the city. But although they were all smiles as they were photographed heading to lunch, the source says “she’s getting frustrated with him” and she’s increasingly “short-tempered when she’s around him.”

This is a departure from the affection they displayed when they hit the town – and, recently, in a steamy music video for her single “Dance Again” (and again in a sweet clip during her current concerts for the song “Baby I Love U”).

But as Smart continues to tour with Lopez, a breakup may not be in their near future.

“Jennifer is the kind of girl who doesn’t like to be alone,” says the source. “Until she finds a replacement, I think, he’s around.”

An exotic massage parlor? You don’t say.

Look, I’m sure that Jennifer Lopez is the only person in the whole entire world who has seen Casper Smart and didn’t think “wow, Casper Smart is a jackass.” But Jennifer is a “romantic,” which means that the only thing that will truly break this spell is an even bigger jackass to come and sweep her off her feet. If only Ashton Kutcher wasn’t taken ….

Quotables: Justin Bieber Makes Fun of a Balding Prince William

photo of justin bieber and prince william pictures

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”

—What Justin Bieber said during an interview with the UK’s Rollercoaster when the topic of Prince William‘s receding hairline apparently came up.

And oh Justin, there are so, so many things I could say to you about this, and so, so many things that I could probably knock you down a few pegs on your sacred ivory tower’s ladder, but I’m not going to. Because you’re a silly f-cking kid who doesn’t know the difference between real life and … well, anything, honestly. Just give it a few years. I’m going to say, “OK, you’ve got a pass here tonight,” and it’s because you’re a kid. But if you’re saying these dumb-ass things, boy, when you’re twenty-three and twenty-four years old, then we’ve got some even bigger problems on our hands than just a punk kid who thinks his shit doesn’t stink.

THAT BETTER NOT BE A BABY BUMP, EVA MENDES!!

photo of eva mendes pictures baby bump photos
Because it sure looks like someone’s hiding something to me. That or, you know, pretending to hide something so that people stop thinking about Robert Pattinson‘s availability and focusing on how much they burn over the fact that Ryan Gosling is still having sex with Eva Mendes on the regular.

Yes, it’s the obligatory “Is Eva Mendes pregnant?” story that pretty much everyone is running with, but guys, I have this feeling that it … I don’t even know if I can say it. I have this feeling that … well, that it might actually be true. I don’t know why, and I could, of course, be entirely wrong, but I don’t think it’s so much of a stretch to say that Eva Mendes is probably carrying the offspring of Ryan Gosling in her womb. And I just can’t even.

Here’s some insight from our friends at Cele|bitchy, who also have some curious-looking photos from earlier in the week:

… We discussed some other photos of Eva yesterday in which Eva seemed to be shielding her torso from paparazzi inspection. And now in these photos, Eva is wearing a very loose dress. Is she trying to tell us something? Something of the baby bump variety? Eh. I thought for a moment that she looked kind of pregnant from behind yesterday (go here to see those photos), but I really can’t tell in these pics. Pregnancy might explain why she and Ryan dropped off the radar for a little bit. And I could totally see an “unplanned” pregnancy for Ryan and Eva, quite honestly.

I mean, check her out. She’s looking a little meatier in the face these days (a common pregnancy side-effect), she’s shielding her midsection with a bag, and Cele|bitchy’s right—Eva and Ryan have kind of dropped off the radar for awhile, so it’s all got to mean something, you know?

I’m giving it maybe another couple of weeks before I think we’ll know for sure. Eva could just be complacent, thinking that she’s got Ryan hooked one way or the other and that she doesn’t need to hit the gym every single day in order to look good, or, it could be the *other* thing. The other *pregnancy* thing. And my oh my if it is.