Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Christian Bale is Visiting Shooting Victims in Colorado

photo of christian bale and shooting victim pictures
From KVDR in Denver, Colorado:

“Dark Knight Rises” star Christian Bale visited victims of the Aurora theater shootings at the Medical Center of Aurora South on Tuesday.

Shooting victim Carey Rottman posted to his Facebook page a picture of Bale visiting him in his hospital room.
“Wow!!! Thank you so much for the visit Christian!! What a great guy! Still in shock!,” Rottman wrote.

A source at the hospital said Bale arrived via ambulance around 2 p.m.

OK, so I pretty much take back every single lurid thing I’ve ever said about Christian Bale (there’s probably been, oh, a couple-two-three things on the list), because this is one stand-up thing to do. Sources at Warner Brothers also state that they are not behind Christian’s visit, and that Christian is, and I quote, “is there as himself,” and not on behalf of WB. It seems the more news I hear concerning Bale, the more real of a dude he appears to be.

Way to go, Christian. It’s really, genuinely nice to see you doing your best, trying to make people happy in the aftermath of such a horrific event.

An Open Letter to Madonna

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Dear Madonna:

Everyone already hates you. You don’t need to keep doing dumb crap to piss us all off. It’s not making you cute, it’s not making you cutting-edge, and it’s not gaining you any new fans. No, quite the opposite, actually—you’re look silly, bitter, dated, and boring. Oh, and heartless—I heard about your “I’m keeping my guns, y’all” stunt earlier this morning, and I have to say, I’m pretty disappointed. I knew you were pretty much the lowest of pretentious-low, but this just takes the cake. Your selfishness really shone through on that one, girl.

After I’d already had a bad taste in my mouth for you this morning, I then heard that you’re still slagging Lady Gaga off for being a better entertainer, and a better person on the whole. I mean to say, still, that is. You’re *still* doing it. Because even though you’ve done it on the regular over the last few years, it’s become more like every couple of weeks now, and it’s really getting f-cking boring. Your most recent comment in an interview with a Brazilian television show is Exhibit A. Let me refresh your memory. You were asked about your ongoing, virtually one-sided feud with Lady Gaga (i.e., the one thing that’s actually getting you publicity these days, aside from flashing your half-centurion nipples, ass, and gitch), and this is what you said:

“I’m a really big fan of ['Born This Way']. And I’m glad that I could help her [Lady Gaga] write it.”

Bitch, come on. Get over yourself. If you want to let shit get real, then file a lawsuit to the tune of copyright infringement. Do something more than just publicly bullying someone who’s infinitely more talented than you (and that hurts to say, because I am not a Lady Gaga fan). But you won’t. And it’s because you’re a stupid bitch who’s got nothing better to do than sit on a porch like a gossiping-ass funky granny who feels threatened by anyone who might come and take her place in the world as future Queen Funky Grandma.

Do you know how stupid you sound every time you open your mouth these days? How poorly everything you’re doing to stay relevant is being received? Because if you did, well. Then you might actually reconsider continuing a career that was dead a decade ago. But you probably don’t even know because you’re too far up your own ass to care that there is life after Madonna. Really. Ask anyone who’s been around for the last ten years. They know it for sure.

Another bitch that’s sick of sticking up for Lady Gaga already

Kanye Is Designing A Super Special Engagement Ring for Kim Kardashian

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

I’m so torn about about Kimye anymore, you guys. At first, I thought that they were a match made in heaven, that they could spend the rest of their lives being completely absurd together, but now I’m not so sure. It might have been the news of Kanye buying Kim that gaudy ass golden skull right around the same time Kim really started trying to win Beyonce over. It sort of seems like Kanye genuinely loves Kim in his own special way, but Kim is still just looking out for herself. Like, I’m starting to get really scared that she’ll hurt him. I’m worried about Kanye’s well being. What is even happening?

Whatever’s happening, this story doesn’t make it any better. No, because now there’s a rumor that Kanye is designing an engagement ring for Kim with gems from his beloved late mother’s jewelry collection. Oh no.

From Radar:

“Kanye picked out some of Donda’s most expensive pieces, including some diamond earrings and a ruby ring,” a source close to Kanye tells Radar.

“He then gave them to a private jeweler friend to make Kim a one-of-a-kind engagement ring.

“Donda was such an important person in Kanye’s life, he thought the world of her and was devastated when she died. So, he kept all her jewelry as keepsakes – a lot of the pieces were items he bought over the years after he made it as a hip-hop star.

“And now, Kanye has found a woman he respects and loves just as much as his mom, so he wants to share her jewelry collection with Kim.

“He’s hoping to propose to Kim with the ring when she finally gets divorced,” the source reveals.

However, Kanye’s sentimental gesture has been met with skepticism by his closest pals. They say he’s wrong to part with Donda’s prized possessions and have warned him if he ever breaks up with Kim she will keep the ring!

“His friends think it’s a terrible idea and are advising him not to give Kim the ring,” the source says. “Because it’s a gift, it would be difficult for Kanye to ask for it back if they ever split up.

“They’ve also reminded him that Kim is not somebody who works hard for her money. She makes millions doing reality shows and selling her image, and Donda’s jewelry shouldn’t be part of that image,” the source divulges.

Meanwhile, Kanye, 35, is also pushing Kim, 31, for a wedding in Chicago, where he grew up, or Oklahoma, where his mother is buried.

“Kanye’s an emotional character and has earmarked Chicago or Oklahoma as the two places he’d love to wed Kim,” the insider says.

“Oklahoma is his personal choice because his mother’s grave is there – and he wants her at his wedding in spirit.

“But he hasn’t ruled out Chicago, which he credits for giving him inspiration for building his glittering career.”

Awww, Kanye. I can just see him doing all this, picking out special pieces of jewelry that belonged to his mom and then presenting it to Kim, who would then scoff at it because “rubies, are you serious?” or “how many carats is this?” And then Kanye would suggest that they have the wedding in Oklahoma, which we all know Kim would never go for. I think there could be a very slight possibility that she’d go for Chicago, but never Oklahoma.

It’s just sad to me because while Kanye is certainly over the top crazy, he’s always so sincere about it. Kim, meanwhile, has probably never had a sincere moment in her life. This is so weird for me to say, but I feel really bad for Kanye.


photo of jerry seinfeld puffy shirt pictures episode full pic
Justin Bieber gets in on the Jackson family. [The Superficial]

Mario Lopez: a creeper in gold body paint. [Bitten and Bound]

Sofia Vergara joins ‘Family Guy’. [Starpulse]

I can’t get over Alessandra Ambrosio’s boyfriend. [Socialite Life]

PHOTOS: Just the attractive people at the Teen Choice Awards. [Celebslam]

Demi Lovato’s nipslip. [Yeeeah]

The first lawsuit against James Holmes and ‘Batman’ is here. [The Blemish]

Bat for Lashes, nude. [OMGBlog]

How to handle a dude with baggage. [The Frisky]

Did Jennifer Lopez get engaged? [Cele|bitchy]

Captain America is on Twitter. [Lainey Gossip]

Carly Rae Jepsen sex tape? [Hollywood Dame]

Television’s 10 Most Menacing Bald Heads. [Pajiba]

Rita Rusic‘s hot, hot body. [IDLYITW]

Jennifer Aniston‘s mom pants. [Lainey Gossip]

French muscle dude butt. [OMGBlog]

PHOTO: Camila Alves just gets hotter as she gets pregnant-er. [Hollywood PQ]

Next up: Kate Gosselin in a sex tape. [The Superficial]

Jerry Seinfeld still wants nothing. [Lainey Gossip]

Kate Gosselin Wants to Do A Dating Show

A photo of Kate Gosselin

From E! Online:

Kate Gosselin is putting herself out there again—and how!

The divorced mother of eight has signed up to do a dating show and is in the process of looking for a network to televise her quest for love, E! News has exclusively learned.

“She is ready to get back into the dating game,” a source tells us. “She is ready to find love again and to move on from her past. She’s excited, this is a chance to start something new.”

“She finds it hard to meet men in her day to day life,” the source continued, “and so a dating show will give her exactly the help she needs. She is willing to travel around the country in order to meet Mr. Right.”

They could call it The Amazing Kate!

Gosselin, hubby Jon and their eight kids spent five seasons on cable together, then Kate went it alone (not counting the children, of course) on Kate Plus 8 for another two seasons and appeared on Dancing With the Stars in 2010.

She remains a household name, but the 37-year-old celeb has been out of the limelight for about a year.

Now might be just the right time for a comeback, though.

“She looks fantastic,” our source adds, “and she’s in a really great space. She’s in fantastic shape because of all her marathon training, this feels like the right time for her.”

Sure enough, you eligible bachelors out there, you better be fit if you plan to keep up with Kate—she ran a half-marathon in San Diego, Calif., last month and a 3-mile “mini marathon” in Chicago yesterday.

Ok, the Scientology channel, Mariah Carey on Idol, AND a Kate Gosselin dating show? I thought I didn’t need cable, but I was so, so wrong. A Kate Gosselin dating show would complete my whole entire life. She would sit all of her potential suitors down and watch reruns of Kate Plus Eight and cry, and of course her kids would be prominently featured, because, you know, that’s exactly what they want. It would just be so good for everyone, it really would.

Things Are Getting Serious in The Jackson Family

A photo of the Jackson family

Something really fishy is going on with this whole Katherine Jackson thing. She was reported missing, but now she’s not missing, but she could possibly be in the process of being brainwashed so that she’s actually missing even though she doesn’t believe she’s missing. I know, it’s complicated, but let’s break down all the recent developments in convenient bullet points, all right?

- Yesterday, TMZ got a photo of Katherine at a spa in Arizona, playing Uno with some family members. Nothing to see here!

- But just an hour after that, we learned that police had been sent to the Jackson family’s house in California after someone reported an assault. The story is that “someone inside accused someone else present of a physical assault.” No one got arrested, but a report was made.

- TMZ also got a photo of Janet Jackson yelling at Jermaine after the police left.

- Here’s where it starts to get interesting: yesterday, just before that assault happened, a few unnamed Jacksons confronted Michael Jackson’s kids when they arrived at Katherine’s home, yelling at them and trying to take their cell phones. The children were taken away to “a safe location,” and that’s when the assault occurred. It was then revealed somehow that “a plan has been in place for the last three years to remove Katherine Jackson from her home and her beloved grandchildren.” SHOCKING.

- But here’s where it starts to get really interesting: the executors of Michael Jackson’s estate believe that Katherine has actually been kidnapped by her own children so they can convince her that Michael’s will, which, in case you forgot, leaves all his money to his children and none to his siblings, was faked. The executors are also going to court to request an emergency guardianship for Michael’s kids, since Katherine is god knows where.

If you’re still confused, I don’t blame you. I guess the gist of it all is that Michael Jackson’s brothers and sisters are f-cked up and greedy as hell, they’re trying to convince their mother to be the same way, and also they want to steal money from children. Oh, and Katherine Jackson may still be missing.

Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo

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It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Magic Mike photo: Brooke
Shakin my ball sack brings all the girls to the bar
but my lip gloss is shinier than yours
Damn right it’s shinier than yours
I can teach you
But I’ll have to charge

First runner-up: Puddin
“Fans finally get their hands on Channing Tatum.”

Second runner-up: erica
“With all the hype of Magic Mike, Channing Tatum’s ego grew arms….watch em flex all the way to the sequel.”

Congrats to Brooke! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!