Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Diddy Was in a Bad Car Accident, But He’s OK

photo of diddy pictures photos
That’s him, on the ground, but it wasn’t because he was thrown from the vehicle or anything. He was just totally creeped out, got out of the car, and went and laid down on the grass, and jeez. I don’t blame him. This is the photo of what his car looked like post-wreck:

photo of diddy car accident pictures
Scary, right? I hate car accidents. They’re literally my worst of three fears, followed closely by heights and spiders.

According to sources on the scene, Diddy was OK, as was his passenger, record label boss Andre Hurrell. Reports say that a vehicle went to make a left turn in front of Diddy’s vehicle, and Diddy’s vehicle t-boned (or broad-sided, depending on your terminology) the first car. Both cars were rendered inoperable, and both were towed from the scene of the accident.

Creepy, awful stuff, ugh.

Top image courtesy of TMZ

Ha Ha, Homeless People!

A photo of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

That’s what Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel did at their wedding over the weekend they hung out in Italy, they had their wedding that cost 6.5 million dollars, and they went “ha ha, homeless people!”

Here’s a clip from a video that one of Justin’s close friends, Justin Huchel (a real estate agent, no less), put together to show at the wedding:

The actual video is about eight and a half minutes long, and, as you can see, features a variety of homeless people explaining why they just couldn’t make it out to Italy. Charming, right? “Let us sip on our fancy wines and liquors and dine on our thousand dollar meals whilst the less fortunate entertain us!” What assholes.

No, really, this dude, Justin Timberlake’s friend, is a real asshole. Gawker originally posted the clip, and here’s how they described the rest of the video:

“Greetings from Your Hollywood Friends Who Just Couldn’t Make It,” reads the opening title card, “Featuring Sid, Chuck, Robert, and More!” Sid, Chuck, Robert, and others appear to be penniless and living on the street. Some of them are obviously intoxicated, mentally ill, or both, and at least one of them is entirely incapable of speaking.

“Justin and Jessica, I haven’t seen you for a long time,” one toothless man tells the camera. “I hope the wedding goes fine for you. My gift is in the mail.”

A male off-camera voice, apparently Huchel’s, asks the man when he last saw Timberlake and Biel, adding, “Did you and Jessica mess around?”

At one point, after commentary from an apparently transexual man, Timberlake’s “SexyBack” is played in the background.

Another glassy-eyed apparently homeless man woozily tells the camera, in a lengthy and rambling monologue, “Jeez I miss you so much. I wish I could be there.” (“There” being the $1,000-plus a night Italian resort hanging out with guests like Jimmy Fallon and Andy Samberg. “Here” being behind what looks like a McDonald’s.) Others mumble unintelligibly in response to questions about when they last hung out with Timberlake and Biel. When one shirtless man says he saw them at the L.A. Coliseum, the male voice asks, “were you performing with them?”

That really drives it home doesn’t it? I’m somehow always surprised by the ability some humans have to be such utter pricks.

Your Daily “Lindsay Lohan Is A Trainwreck”

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan is careening toward financial ruin … by making stupid business decisions and recklessly stashing her money in unsafe places — this according to her management team.

TMZ has seen text messages between Michael Lohan and Lindsay’s lawyer Dave Feldman, discussing Lindsay’s recent promotion deal with an energy drink named Mr. Pink.

As we reported, Lindsay flew out to L.A. earlier this month in order to attend a launch event for the beverage — just hours after her blowout fight with her mother Dina in NYC.

In the text messages, Michael claims Lindsay was paid $150,000 for the event IN CASH … which Lindsay then gave to her brother Michael Jr. to hold in his bank account for safe keeping.  Michael expressed fear that Dina had access to Michael Jr.’s account and would raid it for herself.

Dave expresses outrage in response, claiming Lindsay should have looped him and her business manager in to the Mr. Pink transaction in order to provide her more financial protection … but she never did.

In the messages, Dave says Lindsay was even more stupid for not including her management team on the Mr. Pink deal because — as Dave says — they could have gotten her even more money for the job … but again, she didn’t.

As we reported, Lindsay’s dad is terrified she has fallen back off the wagon and needs a conservatorship because she can’t handle her affairs — and based on these texts, he might have a point.

Yep, that sounds great, girl. It’s totally best to leave your management team out of any business dealings. Oh, and instead of giving money to your brother and letting him handle it for you, maybe you could try just putting it all in your mattress. Oh, or I heard some people used to hide money in jars and bury them in their backyard, that could be good too, right? Except I don’t think you have a backyard, so maybe you could stick some jars behind various toilets in the Chateau Marmont or at your various crack houses or whatever?

This is going so well for you, sister!

This is Kim Kardashian’s Big Weight-Loss Reveal Photo

photo of kim kardashian pictures instagram weight loss pic
Did you guys hear? Kim Kardashian‘s on this big weight-loss kick that involves eating healthy and exercising, and do you know what Kanye West got his girl for her thirty-second birthday? Hint: it wasn’t an engagement ring. Nope, it was a chocolate cake. A chocolate cake. Or rather, a cake “covered” in chocolate. Reward for “losing so much weight”? Maybe. Certainly not a gesture of impending marriage, however. From Us Weekly:

After whisking his girlfriend away to Italy for a romantic, celebratory getaway this past weekend, Kanye West had one final surprise up his sleeve for birthday girl Kim Kardashian, who turned 32 on Sunday, Oct. 21.

During dessert at the Angel Ball in NYC Monday night, “Kanye surprised Kim with a birthday cake covered in chocolate,” a witness tells Us Weekly. “She looked genuinely surprised and thanked Kanye with a kiss!”

I love the part where it says that she “looked genuinely surprised,” and how she “thanked Kanye” with a kiss. LOL Talk about let down, you know? I mean, honestly. We all knew she was angling for the engagement ring, and when she got a chocolate-covered cake instead, can you imagine how it must have rocked her world? Ha. She probably ate the entire cake, all by herself, in hopes that the ring was buried somewhere within it. But honestly, even though she lost out on the ring, she did win—an entire chocolate cake, all to herself. And that’s probably the best thing that could have come from all of this.

Jessica Simpson’s Parents are Divorcing Because Jessica Simpson’s Dad is Gay

photo of tina and joe simpson pictures divorce gay pic
Oh man. So, talk about bad timing, huh? Right before divorce proceedings were announced by Joe and Tina Simpson, it was revealed that Joe, father of Jessica Simpson, might be gay. But wait—according to statements made to People, he’s not. From People:

Jessica Simpson’s parents Tina and Joe Simpson have filed for divorce, a rep for the family tells PEOPLE. But that is where the headline-worthy news about the Simpson clan ends, says the rep.

Their statement to PEOPLE Wednesday came the same day that buzz built around a story in the National Enquirer reporting that Joe had come out to his family.

“It is an amicable split and there is no third party involved,” says the rep. “Any other related allegations are completely false. The family appreciates your respect for their privacy at this time.”

Tina, 52, filed for divorce in Texas last month, and cited “discord or conflict of personalities” as grounds in the court papers obtained by PEOPLE. She and 54-year-old Joe – a manager and former minister who is often referred to as “Papa Joe” – were married in Texas in 1978 and are also parents to Ashlee Simpson. They have two grandchildren between their daughters.

In Joe’s response to Tina’s divorce petition, he requests Tina not get anything in the split.

So, OK. There might not be a third party, per se. And that would just be because maybe Joe isn’t seeing one at the moment. But it wouldn’t take away from the fact that gay is gay, right? Just because Joe’s not boning someone on the side doesn’t mean that he’s not gay, you know? Is Joe gay? Well. That would explain a lot, but who really knows. Sure is odd, though, that Joe’s requesting Tina get ZILCH in the divorce, because wow. What a cold-hearted move (I love it).

Oh, and here’s the bit from the Enquirer that claims Joe’s gay, just in case you were in the mood for slum-gossip this evening:

According to a bombshell new report, Jessica Simpson’s world was turned upside-down when her manager-dad Joe Simpson re­cently dropped a bomb on his unsuspecting family: An insider says he confessed he’s gay!

And not only has a family source told The National Enquirer that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, the source says the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy!

The stunning confession was the real reason wife Tina filed for divorce from Joe, her husband of 34 years, in late September, the Enquirer reports.

“Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider divulged. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.

“Joe said it wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to him.”

Can’t wait to see how this thing unfolds.

Oh So What Should Courtney Stodden Be for Halloween, Guys?

photo of courtney stodden halloween costume pictures
Tough question, considering it’s going to be pretty hard to beat last year’s pumpkin patch debauchery in trashy country-western attire. What? That wasn’t even Courtney’s Halloween costume? This was? Oh. Well. I guess that’ll teach me a lesson for making assumptions about Courtney Stodden and the word “trashy.”

On a serious note, though, it’s finally happened—Courtney Stodden, at the ripe old age of eighteen, has dead eyes. Don’t believe me? Think that girlfriend is just as happy with her life as she lets on? Then take a good, hard look at this picture, because the deadness is all-consuming:

photo of courtney stodden dead eye pictures
Can’t someone do something about this already? And by “this,” I mean, help her pick out a Halloween costume? Because there’s nothing that can be done about those dead, dead eyes of hers—the damage has been done, DOUG HUTCHISON.

Images courtesy of Celebuzz

TMI: Katy Perry and John Mayer Have Annoyingly-Loud Sex

photo of katy perry pictures john mayer photos
From Hollywood Life:

Katy Perry apparently had trouble satisfying Russell Brand’s wild sexual urges, but John Mayer certainly isn’t complaining! Instead, it’s Katy’s West Hollywood neighbors who are complaining, as the couple like to “have very loud sex, keep very late hours and like to turn up the tunes.”

Oh my God—seriously an image I did not need in my head an hour before dinner. John Mayer? Bumping Katy Perry’s ugly with his own ugly? And being loud about it? Sheesh. It’s like an appetite suppressant and birth control all in one shot.

Also, so I used to have this friend who’d, like, have sex with guys and from the time that the pumping started ’til the time that the pumping stopped, she’d make a noise that … God. I don’t even really know what you’d call it. It wasn’t exactly a bleating noise, nor was it a wailing noise, it was … oh! It was this!:

Also, if you ask how I know this, it’s because my friend liked to have sex in the other room. It wouldn’t matter what other room, per se, as long as the room in question was adjacent to a room where people were partying, or studying, or trying to make a really difficult soufflé, because yes, that used to happen, too.

But that’s what I would imagine Katy Perry‘s like in the sack. She’s probably all flailing arms and “Eee! Eee! Eee!”