Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Here’s A Creepy Katie Holmes Interview from 2005

A photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

2005, if you’ll remember, was a very fateful year in the life of Katie Holmes. In 2005, Katie’s engagement to Chris Klein ended, and a few weeks after that, she began dating Tom Cruise. Shortly after that, she converted to Scientology, and shortly after that, they got engaged. In the midst of all that, she had her role in Batman Begins, and she gave an interview to W magazine to promote it.

Now that this big ol’ mess of a divorce is happening, past interviews of Katie’s are being brought up again, sort of in an attempt to piece together what really happened, but mostly because it’s really interesting to think about Tom Cruise’s batshit crazy religion and how that poor girl from Dawson’s Creek fit into the scheme of things. In that spirit, let’s go ahead and review some excerpts from that 2005 interview, all right?

It’s assumed that Katie Holmes will soon sever her ties with the Church of Scientology — just as she’s severing her marital ties with Tom Cruise, the religion’s most famous member. The latest issue of Us Weekly reports that the spouses of nearly six years fought “viciously” over raising daughter Suri, 6, by the bizarre guidelines of Scientology parenting, and Holmes ceased attending her own classes over a year ago.

But back in 2005, Holmes was a twentysomething actress deliriously in love — promoting her role in Batman Begins and her shockingly fast-tracked relationship with Cruise, now 50.

In a somewhat infamous, creepy 2005 interview with W magazine, Holmes gushed about her new man and explained her newfound interest in Scientology. (W reports that that Holmes, raised Catholic, announced her conversion to the faith “three days later” after the sit-down.)

“You know, it’s really exciting,” Holmes, now 33, said at the time. “I just started auditing. . . and I’m taking some courses, and I really like it. I feel it’s really helping. What I like about it is that, you know, I was raised Catholic, and you can be a Catholic and a Scientologist, Jewish and a Scientologist.”

Added the Dawson’s Creek alum: “I’m learning to celebrate my own spirit, my own being.”

Present throughout the chat was Jessica Rodriguez, who W describes as the star’s “Scientologist chaperone,” who even feeds Holmes a line as she gushes about Cruise to W: “You adore him,” Rodriguez tells her. (W points out that the official role of Rodriguez — born into a family of Scientologists and educated at schools with ties to the religion — is never explained.)

“I’ve never met anyone like Tom,” Cruises exclaims. “Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase . . . Tom is the most incredible man in the world.”

Shooting down worries that Cruise is controlling her, Holmes replied: “That’s really ludicrous because, I mean, you have to know Tom. He is the most loving, generous man who… first of all, he wants to help people. He doesn’t put pressure on people. He is the kindest, smartest, most adoring man. It’s a pleasure and a privilege to be with him.”

In November 2006, Holmes and Cruise (parents to newborn Suri) tied the knot in Italy.

Things are a little different today. Holmes filed for divorce from Cruise June 28, asking for sole legal custody of Suri. This past Friday, she spent a marathon session at the midtown Manhattan offices of her attorney, as new reports suggest she and Cruise’s legal teams are working out a full settlement.

Wait, you can be a Catholic and a Scientologist at the same time? Does that mean that you go to auditing and confession? Do you take communion then praise L. Ron Hubbard? How does Scientology’s belief in reincarnation fit with Catholicism’s idea of the afterlife? How can someone chill up in heaven if they have to live another life based on their thetans and e-meters or whatever?

And why does Katie talk about Tom Cruise like he’s her leader instead of her boyfriend? “Tom is the most incredible man in the world,” “he wants to help people,” “it’s a pleasure and a privilege to be with him.” Honestly. Does that sound like true love to you, or does it sound more like brainwashing?

And don’t even get me started on “you adore him.” This is the creepiest interview that ever happened.

Now Introducing The GOOP Collection!

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “man, I wish Gwyneth Paltrow would design some clothes”? Do you read GOOP newsletter after GOOP newsletter, desperately wishing that you can find affordable, adorable basics envisioned by none other than the GOOP herself? Then I’ll be honest, you’ve got a lot of time on your hands and some weird ideas about what’s important, but my opinion doesn’t matter, because your wish finally came true!

Yes, Gwyneth teamed up with some actual clothing designers to make a limited edition GOOP collection. But it’s only available in the U.S., the clothes are neither affordable or adorable, and let me just go ahead and show you the clothes, all right?

There are only two items right now. The first is a pair of jeans:

To be fair, those look like some nice jeans. They’re $200 though. I guess that’s a reasonable price for a pair of fancy designer jeans, but I really don’t know, I’m a bargain shopper. The weird thing about the pants is that they’re available in sizes 24-32, which is really confusing to me. That has to be a waist measurement, right? It’s obviously not 24-32 in traditional women’s sizes, because I’m sure Gwyneth wouldn’t make pants solely for fatties. But in what world does sizing women’s pants by a waist measurement alone make sense? Did GOOP forget about hips?

Anyway, here’s the second item:

This is where it gets comical. That’s a white t-shirt with black piping on the shoulders and the sides. It is $90. Is this supposed to be a joke? Because I’m pretty sure I could grab one of my boyfriend’s old t-shirts and hot glue some ugly ass cord all over it and have a pretty similar looking shirt. Also, the shirt only comes in one size that “comfortably fits U.S. sizes 0-8.”

Basically, if you’re around Gwyneth Paltrow’s size, live in the U.S., and have about $300 to blow, this incredibly boring outfit could be all yours! Act now while supplies last! Or, you know, run down to the Goodwill and recreate this whole look for less than $10. Or find another outfit that’s actually cute. The choice is yours!

Aww, Justin Bieber Has A Favorite Part of The Female Anatomy!

A photo of Justin Bieber

I know! It’s the heart, isn’t it? Justin Bieber‘s favorite lady body part is the heart! Since he’s such a hopeless romantic, that’s the obvious answer. Or it could be the brain! You can just tell that Justin is the intellectual type, so I’m sure he appreciates that same quality in the opposite sex. Or, wait, he did have that foot fetish

Oh, but he’s just into asses? That’s cool too, I guess. Here’s Justin ever so eloquently explaining his admiration:

“I think I’m a butt guy. I just like butts. I’m attracted to them. Do I have any favourites? Nicki Minaj has got a nice one.”

Great to know, Justin. And just for the sake of comparison, here’s Selena Gomez‘s backside:

A photo of Selena Gomez

It’s cute, I guess, but that’s coming from a girl who doesn’t understand the appeal of butts at all. However, I can obviously tell that she’s no Nicki Minaj, and therefore possibly indicating that Justin is not so into her butt. BREAKUP RUMORS CONFIRMED.

Adele Is Recording New Music!

A photo of Adele

That’s the good news, that Adele is recording new music. The bad news? It’s not for us. The adorable fact that makes the bad news not so painful? She’s recording the music for her baby. Awwwww:

Adele’s kid will own one of the most exclusive albums ever made when he or she is born: a one-off record full of nursery rhymes sung by the diva is being created just for the nipper. Adele has been recording them and playing them back to her bump.

A source said: “She has been playing the rhymes to her belly. It’s so Adele can get her voice as close as possible to the baby so it can hear as many soothing sounds as possible.”

CBeebies would absolutely kill for an album like this. Adele, whose release 21 stands as the best-selling album of the year in the US, announced a week ago that she is expecting her first child with boyfriend Simon Konecki.

The Tottenham-born singer recently revealed that she hopes to have three boys by the time she is 30. Good job the multi-award-winning star is giving herself a few years off work.

A nursery rhymes record will definitely come in handy over the next six years. She and Simon moved to Brighton earlier this year after falling in love with a £2.5million mansion on the seaside, close to the homes of fellow stars Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim, Zoe Ball, and Peter Andre.

As well as doing up their new pad — including adding a nursery — the singer has been enjoying playing board games.

A source added: “She’s become a bit obsessed with board games. Jenga, Monopoly and Scrabble are her favourites. Her mate recently bought her a charades set too.”

Thankfully, given her condition, it wasn’t Twister.

I’m sure I’ve expressed this same sentiment around a zillion or so times, but could Adele be any more amazing? She always seems like such a wonderful, fun, funny person, and I absolutely can’t wait to see how adorable she’ll be as a mother. And on top of all that, she enjoys playing Jenga and Monopoly. A more perfect person has never existed.

Quotables: Kirstie Alley Sure Knows How to Talk Up A Book

A photo of Kirstie Alley

“I’m not here to one-up another author but you know, I didn’t find it very factual. I lived with a guy for three years who made Christian Grey look like Justin Bieber. [Christian] didn’t even pee on her. He didn’t choke her or try to suffocate her … If it’s S&M you’re looking for, then you will like my book.”

- Kirstie Alley compares her new memoirs, The Art of Men, to the greatest literary masterpiece of the 21st century, 50 Shades of Grey.

Also, WHAT? Is Kirstie saying that she was in one of them dominant/submissive relationships like in 50 Shades of Grey, or is she saying that she was horrifically abused and also peed on? Who was the guy? Didn’t she date William Shatner at some point? Is anyone else considering how genius casting Justin Bieber in the 50 Shades movie would be?

We need answers, and we need them now.

Kanye West Is Great at Buying Presents

A photo of Kanye West

Who’s surprised? Anyone? I didn’t think so.

Here is something that Kanye bought for Kim Kardashian:

Yep, it’s a big ol’ skull made of gold, and it costs around $34,000. That’s, uh, sweet, I guess.

Here are some additional details:

Given his penchant for extravagant spending, it should come as no surprise that Kanye West has recently been showering those closest to him with $34,000 gold skull statues. If nothing else, at least we now know that he’s a practical gift-giver!

For Father’s Day, Kanye got pal Jay-Z a yellow gold skull statue with 1,680 star-cut red topaz gemstones set around the head. Good luck topping that one, Blue Ivy.

Kanye, who didn’t trust ordinary shipping services with such an extraordinary gift, chartered a private jet (he must be really into those) in order to hand deliver the statue to the new father.

Lest girlfriend Kim Kardashian become jealous, he gave her one as well — though Kim’s is adorned with white sapphires and reportedly engraved with the letters “KKW” for “Kim Kardashian West.” Awww. Slightly less pricey than the tricked-out Lamborghini Kim bought Kanye for his birthday, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

West apparently found inspiration for the gift after discovering that Michael Jackson gave the same one to Elizabeth Taylor, which is simultaneously sweet and ominous.

This might just be me, but if someone gave me a gold skull with my initials engraved on the back of it, I think I’d be creeped out. And if it was my name with his last name tacked on? That’s restraining order material right there. And if the whole thing was inspired by a gift that Michael Jackson gave to Elizabeth Taylor, then I’d just be completely done. I’d probably forgo the restraining order and resign myself to my fate, which is clearly being stalked by some complete nutjob who thinks gold skulls are a romantic gesture.

However, if this is the kind of gift that Kanye’s really into giving, then I absolutely cannot wait for him to marry Kim. That wedding will be unbelievable.