Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Fatmire and Kris Humphries Never Even Had Sex, God

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Look, I know that some of you can’t appreciate Fatmire here as much as I can. And I respect that, I really do. I admire your ability to just say no to all the new train wreck fame whores on the block, but that just not an ability that I have. I can’t look away from this, and as much as I wish I could, I just can’t quit Fatmire. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you all about how Fatmire is now claiming that she never even had sex with Kris Humphries. This news, of course, comes just a week after she called TMZ to let them know that she was pregnant with Kris’ baby and posed for some paparazzi shots. That Fatmire, she’s like the wind:

When Myla was asked point blank if she has had sex with Kris she denied that they had. “No, I don’t do that type of thing,” she said.

“We’re friends. We’re really close friends.”

She also said that Kris needs to get a divorce before he starts dating, but that he’s “a great guy with a great heart.” During the interview they also talked about Kim (who has never had the honor to meet Fatmire, by the way) and the divorce proceedings (Fatmire has been subpoenaed by Kim’s lawyers), and she had this little gem to say:

“I’m hoping Kim realizes that she doesn’t have to fly all the way to New York for me, we’re just friends,” she said about her non-sexual relationship with Kris.

I’m not sure what that even means, but it just proves how delusional Fatmire is. I read through some of her tweets last night, and it sounds like this girl has lost touch with reality. Here are a few samples of tweets from the past few days:

So I say I’m not prego & ppl say why did u say u were?Wtf you want me to pee in a cup & post te results? LMAO I never said I was Press did

I swear you can’t win with ppl you tell the truth but they don’t like the answer. Yea I know truth isn’t as entertaining! Geez

Watch 2mrw they will report I have a life threatening illness with only 2 weeks to live lol I feel like I’m on Maury Everyday ?#markmyword?

I’m a curvy girl! Just depends on angle of pic Media job is to get bad ones of me! Its what sells

Girl. You are Fatmire. You are not Angelina Jolie. You are not Lindsay Lohan. You’re not even Courtney Stodden. You are a woman who talked to Kim Kardashian’s soon-to-be ex on a beach one time, and you ran with it. And good for you, that’s some good hustle, but I don’t think all these members of the press are sitting around, trying to come up with the next great Fatmire story. If you’d stop alerting TMZ of your every move, it wouldn’t be too long before you slipped back out of the public eye.

Oh, and just because I can’t let the whole “bad angle” thing go, here’s one of the photos of Fatmire that, along with her tip to TMZ, started the pregnancy rumors:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Yeah, that’s not a bad angle, that’s an ill-fitting dress and a pushed out gut. Oh, that Fatmire, she never disappoints!

Le Sigh: Scarlett Johansson STILL Too Sexy for Movies, Life

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And I say “still too sexy” because duh, don’t you remember the interview she did way, way back in May (May! Of 2012!) saying that she never wanted to be a sex symbol in Hollywood, and how she tries just so hard not to sexualize every single character she plays, but fails endlessly because her sultry sexuality just seeps through her flimsy sex filter. Because yeah. She’s doing the same interview all over again with next month’s Marie Claire, where she—surprise, surprise—talks all about how she’s too sexy for movies. From MC UK:

Avengers star Scarlett Johansson has said that she thinks her good looks have been holding her back and stop her getting offered meatier roles.

Scarlett Johansson says she regularly misses out on parts because movie execs think of her as ‘too sexy’.

Talking about her experiences of getting turned down for work, red hot Scarlett revealed: ‘That has happened to me before, yeah. That’s always an unfortunate thing to figure out. “Why can’t you see?!” For me, I would imagine casting someone, you would want to challenge yourself in some way.’

‘It is so interesting to see actors transform. There are certainly plenty of times when I am definitely not sexy.’

If you missed it, this is what girlfriend had to say the last go-round of “I’m so pretty, blah blah blah”:

I never wanted to be a sex symbol, I wanted to be a character actor. Those are the actors I mostly admire. I think women that are curvy can be pigeonholed in that bombshell thing. It’s not like I actively look for sexy roles. It’s not a requirement that my character be pretty and delicate. I never think about my character being sexy, unless that’s written in.

Boy. The crosses some people have to bear, you know?

Evil Beet Needs Your Help!

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So, Evil Beet has decided to take another grand step into the new millennium, and in doing so, has decided to give the site a new, fresh look! I know—some of you are groaning and shaking your fists and promising to never come back to the site again if we even slightly change the color formatting of the comments, and guys.

Guys.

I hear you. I’m generally so resistant to change that I get stomachaches when I realize that—oh my God, horror of all horrors—I have to use the backup laundry detergent* instead of my favorite, regular detergent, which I somehow didn’t even realize that we were out of the last time I finished a load of whites. I’m slipping, there.

But I promise you. I promise—the designs are fun and user-friendly and definitely easy to engage with. And because we love you guys so, so much, we want your input. Below in the gallery are three different concepts that I’d like you to take a gander at, and with our lovely polling tool, vote for your favorite. Note: Just because one particular design scheme happens to be a “favorite” doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be The Design We Implement, but your input will factor heavily in our decision, rest assured.

Finally, any comments and/or suggestions are welcome—and as always, leave it in the comments!

Check out design number one:

photo of evilbeetgossip site redesign number one pictures

And design number two:

photo of evil beet gossip redesign pictures

And last, design number three:

Also, you can click through the gallery images to enlarge and inspect at your leisure, which I recommend you do before you vote, because you’ll probably want to go through the details with a fine-tooth comb before making any kind of important decisions. I just know you like that.

Favorite?

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*Also, the only reason a creature of habit like me even has “backup laundry detergent” is because when I had the flu a few months ago, I sent my husband to go grocery shopping alone and it’s what he came home with. Honestly. Have you ever?

WATCH THIS: The ‘Oz the Great and Powerful’ Trailer is Here and James Franco’s Head Did Not Dominate, Thankfully

Alright, so, all James Franco aside, this movie looks like it’s going to be phenomenal.

But don’t take it from me—take it from Sam Raimi, who’s (Sam Raimi is a demigod in some circles, being that he was the mastermind behind ‘Evil Dead’, which, if you haven’t seen it, GO NOW) directing the flick. From the movie’s Comic Con panel:

Sam Raimi on ‘Oz’: “This is a very straightforward family picture. I would say it’s a very classically Disney type of movie. It’s all about these characters and their interactions with each other, the friendships they make. How some characters are sinners, how they hurt others, how those sins can grow. It’s about finally recognizing the things you do in this world have consequences, and how to be the best person you can be is really the story of this film. That’s the most exciting kind of story for me, the ones that have character growth, and I think James Franco’s character has a little bit of character growth in this film.”

Mila Kunis on working with Sam Raimi: “Listen, Sam is fantastic. I don’t know where to begin. I would do craft service for Sam if he asked me to.”

Michelle Williams on Sam Raimi, also: “I had never made a movie like this before. I’ve never made such a big movie before. I didn’t know what it was going to be like. I didn’t know if the things that concern me, Sam would have time for, or patience for. Not only did he have time and patience in the beginning when we were rehearsing, he had patience for them on the 17th hour of the sixth day. For me it was a very holistic experience; it was a real melding of my work life and my personal life. My film family and my real family.”

Raimi, on James Franco: “He’s a great collaborator. James was much less collaborative when I first worked with him. He was a real serious actor, I think he still had his James Dean hat on; he was doing it his way. I worked with him with certain limitations. We couldn’t communicate about everything as deeply as we did on this picture. [In this movie] there was a great sense of openness, collaboration, and patience. Now that James is a filmmaker, he understands all the things that go into a shot. He’s developed that patience.”

On the flying monkeys in ‘The Wizard of Oz’, and whether they will have a part in ‘Oz’: “The teaser they showed today, the Wicked Witch has an army of flying baboons. We’re actually still developing them, but the teaser demanded that they come out right now. There is also a flying monkey in the story, different than the baboons, a nice flying monkey, so don’t worry.”

On whether the book Wicked was thrown around in the idea of developing this movie: “No. We were just using Baum’s books as a road map. We stayed with the thesis: who is that guy behind the curtain?”

So. Are we all in agreement that this movie’s going to be pretty darn fabulous? Because duh, it is.

theAMlinks

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Nike posthumously rips Joe Paterno a new one. [The Superficial]

Chris Hemsworth is really, really, REALLY LARGE. [Lainey Gossip]

Cassie hospitalized! [Bossip]

R. Kelly’s ex-wife throws ‘The Notebook’ under the bus. [Bossip]

10 Celebrity death hoaxes. [Starpulse]

Did David Letterman just spoil ‘The Dark Knight Rises’? [Huff Po]

Kanye is making Kim Kardashian wear the same outfit THREE TIMES. [The Frisky]

American Idol‘ is over. [Yeeeah]

It’s apparently shirtless Friday. [theBERRY]

Katie Holmes is changing Suri’s name. [INFDaily]

Jennifer Lopez is blathering on about Katie Holmes’ divorce. [Amy Grindhouse]

Lady Gaga is so edgy. [IDLYITW]

Maria Shriver hates Taylor Swift. [Cele|bitchy]

Jamie Bell bikes through Venice. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Johnny Depp is hooking up with Amber Heard AND her girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip]

PHOTOS: The 2012 ESPY Awards. [The Superficial]

Love It or Leave It: Kristen Stewart is the Best

photo of kristen stewart comic con pictures 2012 bella swan pic
Have I told you lately how in love I am with Kristen Stewart? Seriously, it’s like everything she does is just pure magic. I think she is just positively beautiful, and she can probably do no wrong. Even at her greasiest, she’s still one boss bitch. She’s real, and she’s truthful, and she’s not afraid to tell it like it is. In a recent interview at Comic Con (where the above photo was taken), she was asked about the sex scenes in Breaking Dawn, to which she answered that she wanted to go ape-shit. And then she told Robert Pattinson to ‘shut the f-ck up’:

“The ratings, man! [It's] a tricky thing. I think . . . how do you have . . . because we’re supposed to have mind-boggling, otherworldly . . . sex. In the first one, Breaking Dawn 1, we really . . . this is weird . . . tried to keep the first one sweet. It’s about self discovery. Nothing about this series is raunchy. And I know that . . .”

“I think that’s the point, Kristen,” Pattinson said with a laugh. Kristen joked back, “Shut the f— up.”

To that, Twilight author Stephenie Meyer stepped in asking, “Where’s Mackenzie’s swear jar?” Mackenzie Foy, 11, who plays Bella and Edward’s half-vampire, half-human daughter in the film.

“Seriously,” Pattinson said. “Talking about sex, swearing.”

“But in the second one, we just wanted to be animals,” Stewart continued. “We’re not human anymore. How do you do that? We tried, and they told us it was rated R, and we were like [snaps fingers]. So, yeah, I’m going to stop.”

I do, guys. I can’t deny it any more. I love Kristen Stewart, and I know some of you think she’s way over the top, but she’s twenty-two years old. I remember what I was like at twenty-two (even though it was only seven years ago), and I’ve got to say—I wasn’t all that different. Maybe I see a little bit of myself in Kristen and that’s why I’m so enamored by her, or maybe I just have a girl crush on her. I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter. I just think she’s going to get better and better at everything as she gets older, more refined, and definitely even hotter. She’s just gorgeous.

What do you guys think of Kristen’s Comic Con look?

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Oh My Gosh, Lindsay Lohan Looks So Good

photo of lindsay lohan pictures going bald pictures 2012 lady gaga pic
And her hair! Oh my goodness. It’s like the beautiful, ethereal crowning glory that Lindsay, as a beautiful, ethereal person herself, deserves. You need to check out all this glory:

photo of lindsay lohan hair extensions bald pictures
This was the back-view of Lindsay Lohan as she exited the E Baldi restaurant, picking up some take-out last night in Beverly Hills, and believe me—THE IRONY IS ABSOLUTELY NOT LOST UPON ME.

Don’t know if you can recognize it when it’s right in front of your face, guys, but this—this!—is straight A-list right here. Move over, Angelina Jolie. Lindsay’s on her way to get your man. Oh, and Tina Fey? Move, bitch, get out the way—Lindsay’s about to take over as the funniest, most hard-working woman on television. REVIVAL Y’ALL.