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0Judd Apatow Has Some Pretty Solid Advice

Oh, if only Judd Apatow had been able to give me this advice when I was 14. Maybe then I could have learned that being the funny fat girl at your high school has its perks, but it won’t get you any dates (except with a nerdy closeted boy who turns out to be your cousin). Maybe then I could have learned the incredibly important fact that it doesn’t matter if someone likes you, it’s whether or not you like them back that’s important. I didn’t learn that one until, like, last year.

I guess what I’m trying to say is “thanks for all the funny movies, Judd, but you can go ahead and suck it for not making a movie about this*.”

*Or did he? It’s been a while since I watched Freaks and Geeks.

June 28, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Judd Apatow

6Dr. Drew Is Worried About Lindsay Lohan

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

From Radar:

Dr. Drew Pinsky is questioning Lindsay Lohan’s explanation of her recent medical mishap, saying he believes it’s physically impossible for a twenty-five-year-old to be unable to be woken because of exhaustion and dehydration, is exclusively reporting.

As previously reported, Lohan was treated for “exhaustion” after working all night on the set ofLiz & Dick, a week and a half ago.

The actress was found in the penthouse of the Ritz-Carlton and paramedics were called. Lindsay’s rep released a statement at the time stating: “Lindsay worked a grueling schedule the past few days. She was on set last night at 7 p.m. and worked through the night until 8 a.m. this morning. She took a nap before shooting her final scene. Producers were concerned when she did not come out of her room and called paramedics as a precaution. Lindsay was examined and is fine, but did suffer some exhaustion and dehydration. Lindsay was never taken to a hospital; reports to the contrary are false. She is resting now and is hoping to be back on set later this afternoon.”

“It’s absolutely impossible for a normal healthy, twenty-five-year-old woman to be unable to be woken because of dehydration and exhaustion,” Dr. Drew told exclusively. “Something else was obviously going on with Lindsay, because like I said, that just doesn’t happen, even if she had been working grueling hours. For someone to be unable to be woken and basically unconscious is very serious. Eighty-five-year-old men and women can be in that state, but not someone who is Lindsay’s age. I wish Lindsay only the best, but I’m truly worried about her.”

Lohan is scheduled to complete filming on Liz & Dick in the next two weeks, and the Lifetime biopic will air this fall. Dr. Drew’s show on HLN can be seen nightly at 6 p.m.

LiLo’s rep Steve Honig tells Radar, “I think it’s irresponsible for a doctor to be making a diagnosis about a person they have not examined, or about a situation of which they do not have all the facts. Unless, of course, they are looking to get publicity for themselves.”

We all know how Dr. Drew likes his gossip just as much as the next person, don’t we? Because that’s really what this is. I don’t think he ever says anything about a celebrity in a specific attempt to offer medical advice, I think he’s just a big ol’ gossip and he has a different frame of reference that he can use. I’m not saying it’s a good thing for him to be doing, and I understand why so many people feel weird about it, but guys, let Drew dish when he needs to, ok?

But hey, what do you think really happened with Lindsay?

June 28, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

10Johnny Depp Is Completely Innocent

A photo of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

This really hurts. I’ve always loved Johnny Depp‘s movies, because hey, what’s not to love? And when he’s played such wonderful, endearing characters like the ones he played in Benny and Joon, Edward Scissorhands, and Finding Neverland, I think it’s easy to mistake his characters’ good qualities for his own, you know? Because I’ve enjoyed his movies so much, I just assumed that he’s an awesome person who is incapable of doing anything wrong. But right now, at this point in time, I think I’m going to have to guess that he’s kind of a douchebag in real life.

Another story about Johnny’s split from Vanessa Paradis covered Us Weekly this week, and Lainey Gossip was nice enough to summarize it:

According to the magazine:

-V wanted to break up 2 years ago because she was unhappy
-V complained all the time about their low key lifestyle. She didn’t want to stay on a private island and quietly raise their babies. She was bored and restless.
-V was the one who wanted to move to LA and that’s when it all unravelled.
-V was the one who insisted that he make big budget Disney movies because she loved the money. Johnny wasn’t interested but only did them for her.
(Please tell me you’re shaking your head and rolling your eyes now.)
-When those movies became big ass deals, V then resented J for his success.

Says an Us Weekly source:

“Nothing Johnny did was ever good enough for Vanessa. When he was working, she wasn’t happy. And when he wasn’t working, he was called a slob for not doing enough for the kids and her family.”

Apparently Johnny is tight with the owner of the magazine, and that’s why they wrote this joke of a story. Because if you’ve been keeping up with Johnny for the past year or so, he’s in the middle of a full blown midlife crisis. He’s made stupid comments, he’s been seen drunkenly stumbling around more than once, and honestly, he just doesn’t look that great these days. And, of course, there are all the rumors of Johnny’s wandering penis. He’s been linked with his Dark Shadows costar, Eva Green, his Rum Diary costar, Amber Heard, an Olsen twin, and also his publicist. But for sure, it’s all Vanessa’s fault. She drove him to all this.

Listen, this is bullshit. I don’t care if Vanessa Paradis screeched in Johnny’s ear about anything and everything for the entire 14 years they were together. She didn’t force him to hook up with other ladies, and she didn’t force him to get wasted and stagger around the streets. That’s all on him. If he wasn’t happy, he could have left, but the “you made me do this to you” argument just gets under my skin so much. Your choices are your own, so be a grown ass adult and stand behind them.

Team Vanessa.

June 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily

1Also, Oprah Is Going to Be on Keeping Up with the Kardashians

A photo of Oprah Winfrey

Do you remember when Oprah used to be a huge, huge deal? Everyone thought she was classy to the max, everyone read all the books that she liked to read, and people literally fell to their knees sobbing just from the grace of her presence. I’m sure we all remember this, but some of you might be thinking “but when did Oprah stop being such a huge deal?” Right now, friends. Right this moment.

From E! Online:

Can Oprah Winfrey keep up with the Kardashians?

She sure can! The former daytime queen turned OWN mogul will appear on an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, E! News can confirm.

The Kardashians and Jenners (plus Lamar Odom andScott Disick, honorary K’s in our book) recently sat down with O for a two-part Oprah’s Next Chapter special on OWN.

Kim opened up about her relationship with Kanye West,Khloé spilled the secret to her and Lam Lam’s happy marriage, Kris Jenner chatted about the fine line between mother and manager and much more.

Time will tell what’s in store for Oprah—one thing’s for sure, we’re excited to have the mogul on E!

Would 1986 Oprah, fresh to the world of national television, have appeared on a show like Keeping Up with the Kardashians? What about 1993 Oprah, the Oprah who conducted an interview with Michael Jackson that turned out to be the most-watched in television history? Maybe 2005 Oprah would have been on a show like this. That’s the Oprah that let Tom Cruise act a fool and jump all over her couch, so I’d say there’s a possibility.

But listen, now that the mighty Oprah has been knocked down to Kardashian level, what do you think the chances are that she’ll take Snooki‘s place in the Jersey Shore house for a week or so this summer?

June 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Oprah, Oprah Winfrey

2Blind Item: The Sexy Hunger Games Edition

From Blind Gossip:

These two young stars costarred in one of the biggest movies of the year and everyone speculated that they had an affair. But that’s only half right. The female lead DID have an on set fling – but not with her costar – with her costar’s GIRLFRIEND when she came to visit! Ironically, the girlfriend is also a major star but she wouldn’t let her hunky boyfriend join in the fun. Both women are bisexual and he’s straight.

When you hear about “one of the biggest movies of the year” with “two young stars,” do you think of any movie besides Hunger Games? Because I’ve been trying hard to think of any other movie that would fit that description, and I really can’t. So let’s work with the assumption that the movie in question is Hunger Games, all right?

I’m sure you already know where this is going.

The female lead, of course, is Jennifer Lawrence, and her male costar is Liam Hemsworth. There has been a fair bit of speculation about the two of them hooking up, and I believe Liam is the only dude in the movie who is dating a “major star.” So basically, I think this blind item is saying that Jennifer Lawrence and Miley Cyrus had a fling. Oh god.

Jennifer wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t cheat on poor Nicholas Hoult and she wouldn’t do it with a girl in flannel and high-waisted cut-offs. She wouldn’t. Would she?

June 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Blind Item

9Look Who Got a Tattoo!

photo of ke$ha suck it tattoo pictures
First, I know that I tagged this person in their respective category, so it’s not a big surprise as to who it is (and frankly, I thought the gold tooth rather gave it away), but I’m still kind of all wow-ed out over it. This is probably the silliest thing I’ve ever seen our girl Ke$ha do, aside from eating nappy beards and pissing freely like the Rivers of Babylon in the streets, and brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels or whatever.

And speaking of brushing teeth with Jack Daniels, I guess girlfriend’s onto something there, because those are some white, healthy-looking chompers, aren’t they? Makes you wonder why she’d want to go ahead and cover them up with gold caps they’re so purty.

Honestly, guys, Ke$ha’s class never ceases to amaze me sometimes. Are you just head over heels for this crazy new ink or what?

June 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Ke$ha