5Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Are Still Getting Married, Y’All!

Just when it seemed like Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth were over, an “insider” has come out of the woodwork to assure the press that Liam’s back after f-cking off to Australia to get away from her and their wedding is back on!

From E Online:

With Hemsworth back in Los Angeles after spending most of the month in Australia, a source exclusively tells E! News that the constant media scrutiny of their relationship “has caused a lot of stress” for the couple.

“There are some serious problems going on, but seeing them together, they do genuinely love each other and they really do want to work it out,” the source assures.

I mean, on one hand, good for them for working it out. On another hand, who the hell cares? This wedding is not going to happen, and if it does, Miley and Liam will be in divorce court a year later, 18th months at most.

March 26, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

6Over 1,000 Women Have Had Hugh Hefner Inside Them

I hope you’re not eating your lunch right now, because you’ll probably lose it after this one. Hugh Hefner, Mr. Playboy himself, has revealed that he’s slept with over 1,000 women. Gag me. In an interview with Esquire, the 86-year-old said that while he’s now married to 26-year-old Crystal Harris and plans to remain faithful, he had to make sure he “kept his hand in” (I don’t want to think about what) when he was single.

“How could I possibly know? Over a thousand, I’m sure,” the mogul says of the number of ladies he’s taken to bed. “There were chunks of my life when I was married, and when I was married I never cheated. But I made up for it when I wasn’t married. You have to keep your hand in.”

Nope. I mean, I know Hugh Hefner wasn’t always old, but he has always been a bit skeevy, hence the founding of Playboy to begin with. He pays women to live in his house and get on top of him when he wants a little action. If that doesn’t seem weird to you, then we grew up in very different ways. On the other hand, the Playboy bunnies seem pretty happy making bank and riding an old dude and my feminist side doesn’t look down upon sex workers, so everyone knock yourselves out, I guess. But I still think it says something when your own wife – 60 years your junior – would rather play board games than be intimate with you.

March 26, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

4Jennifer Lawrence’s Family Care About Her Too Much to Let Her Become An Asshole

I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t adore Jennifer Lawrence. She’s wormed her way into our miserly hearts just by being her funny, sometimes awkward and always down-to-earth self. Despite her massive success, there’s no chances of JLaw going down the asshole route, as her family would never let such a thing happen even if she did.

From Fabulous:

“I just constantly feel so lucky, that I don’t really have time to feel cocky,” she says. “I was raised to have value for money, to have respect for money, even though you have a lot of it.

“That’s why mini-bars are difficult, because it’s like yes, I can afford a $6 Snickers bar, but there’s just something wrong with that! I still drive my same car I’ve been driving for a long time and I haven’t bought a house yet.

“Definitely my family is not the kind of family that would ever let me turn into an asshole or anything like that, so I am fortunate to have them.”

Word. It’s important to have a good, grounding family who don’t get too caught up in the Hollywood lifestyle and are capable of knocking you down a few pegs if you need it. Also, I have a feeling I’d be exactly like her if I ever hit it big. $6 for a Snickers bar is egregious, especially when I know I can get them 3 for $1 when Rite Aid is having a sale, you know?

March 26, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

4Gwyneth Paltrow Wants To Give You a Blow Job

No, Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t want to give you a true BJ – sperm contains too many calories to be included in the Tracy Anderson method, of course – but she will give a shitload of money (the equivalent of about 25cents in PaltrowDollars) to her hairstylist David Babaii and trainer Tracy to open the David Babaii Blow Dry Bar in Brentwood, CA – in fact, right inside Tracy’s studio.

From People:

“It’s not just going to be a blowout bar,” Babaii tells PEOPLE of the new concept, opening April 4. “It’s going to be ‘Hey, why don’t we do this style with your new body? It’s more about your lifestyle. There’s no judgment.”

And true to Paltrow’s own healthy lifestyle, Babaii will be selling 14 products from his eponymous haircare line, which don’t have sulfates, parabens or petrochemicals and are all cruelty-free.

“It’s all about healthy ingredients, healthy products. And not getting something that you can do at home. It’s going to be a feel good bar,” the stylist says. “It’ll be cool. If you want that sleek, straight Gwyneth look, great! If you want the Kate Hudson bohemian waves, great!”

Uh, how about no? This is some shit that could only happen in LA because if you put it in New York (or anywhere else in the real world), it would be laughed at and shuttered by the end of the business day. Also, who in the hell would want Gwyneth’s hairstyle? If you’re one of the people who raised your hand to that question, just iron a bunch of straw and stick that on your head – voila, same effect and you can spend the money you would have at David Babaii’s on some goddamn therapy to restore your sanity for ever wanting anything Gwyneth Paltrow has.

March 26, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

7James Franco Gets Why People Hate Anne Hathaway

We all remember when James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars. It’s not the ceremony we remember so much as the intense backlash the pair received following their performance, which was, shall we say, less than stellar. James was stoned the whole time and Anne was, well, Anne. When all was said and done, things were left less than friendly between them – though they’ve since made up. Still, this story is not yet over.

In an interview with Howard Stern (via US Weekly), James admitted that he can see why some people find Anne a bit hard to warm to, and he kind of doesn’t blame them:

“I’m happy to revisit this, but you’re going to have to take the lead,” Franco, 34, warned Stern. “If you’re going to talk about it, you’re going to have to give your opinions . . . She does not want me talking about this, but okay.”

“Everyone sort of hates Anne Hathaway, and I’ve explained that I do too and I don’t know even know why sometimes,” Stern explained. “She’s just so affected [and] actress-y that even when she wins an award she’s out of breath, and then she has the standard joke that sounds like it’s [been] written [for her]. And it all seems so scripted and acted.”

“She comes off like the goody two-shoes actress and it’s just fun to sort of hate her,” the radio host added. “Hate is a strong word . . . but [I] dislike her, even though she is a great actress. Is that accurate?”

“I’m not an expert on — I guess they’re called ‘Hatha-haters’– but I think that’s what maybe triggers it,” Franco agreed.

“Are you still friendly with her?” Stern asked.

“We haven’t talked in a while,” the Oz the Great and Powerful actor admitted of his relationship with the now Oscar-winning actress. But he later added, “Anne and I made up, by the way. Let’s just get that on the record.”

“It was a really hard time after the Oscars,” Franco added. “She wasn’t mad at me, I don’t think . . . she didn’t say she was mad at me for what happened . . . The critics were so nasty.”

You can bet your balls she was mad at you, Franco. You ruined her big night!! It was Anne Hathaway’s special evening to dress up pretty and be a superstar and you robbed her of the experience! How very dare you.

March 26, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

0theAMlinks

Jim Carrey is going to solve the whole gun control issue with a stupid song [The Superficial]

Angelina Jolie is in Africa and telling people what to do [Lainey Gossip]

Downton Abbey’s Sybil did a nude scene before hitting ITV [The Frisky]

Producers really want Sam Mendes back for another Bond film [Starpulse]

Kelly Brook steals the spotlight in a gold dress in London [Splash News Online]

Britney Spears goes out in Malibu in a teeny tiny bikini [Socialite Life]

Ke$ha looked worse at the Kids Choice Awards than pretty much anyone [Yeeeah]

Hilary Duff is pretty stoked about being back in shorts [The Superficial]

Kim Kardashian is basically a living umbrella now [Amy Grindhouse]

Here’s a gallery of famous dudes on the cover of Playgirl [theBERRY]

Tiger Woods keeps gloating about how he’s “number one” and all that [Celebitchy]

Jesse James got married again and is still a total mess [Celebzter]

Justin Bieber strips down to go through airport security in Poland [Bohomoth]

Kim Kardashian says that she weighs 140 pounds. Like, now [IDLYITW]

Snooki wants to give away the secrets of her new show with JWoWW [I'm Not Obsessed]

The Big Bang Theory has gone all Rocky Horror Picture Show and it’s weird [Hollywood Backwash]

Una Healy from The Saturdays gets caught upskirt [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

January Jones hangs out with her son, remains an ice queen [ICDYK]

Paging Terrance Howard: Bruno Mars just wants the simple things on his tour, like baby wipes [StarCrush]

Here’s the tracklisting for Snoop Dogg’s new album [PopCrush]

Reese Witherspoon has a bad experience with a bathing suit [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Kate Beckinsdale is bent over and assuming the position, I guess [G Celeb]

Lohan shows off her boobs one last time before rehab [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

March 26, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer