Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jennifer Lopez needs to be single right now

jennifer lopez meredith viera

A while back, Jennifer Lopez kicked her baby boyfriend, Casper Smart, to the curb, and she hasn’t hooked up with anyone else since. Sure, she’s been linked to Dancing with the Stars hunk (lol) Maksim Chmerkovskiy, but apparently that was all just gossip, because she’s loving being single.

From The Meredith Viera Show (via US Weekly):

“I’m just being on my own. I feel like I need that right now,” the mom of two said when asked about her relationship status. “I’ve been in relationships kind of back-to-back my whole life and I just needed time.”

“I need time to just chill and just know me and enjoy my kids and actually make time for other friends instead of just the relationship thing,” the “I Luh Ya Papi” singer, who split from Casper Smart after two and half years together this past June, told the talk show host.

Lopez, who recently released her eighth album A.K.A, added, “All of a sudden, all the relationships in your life and everything starts working when you take care of yourself.”

Okay, first of all, when did Meredith Viera get a show and why? Second of all, live your life, girl. It’s good to be single for a while – there’s seriously nothing worse than a woman (or man, obviously) who doesn’t know how to be alone and completely has a meltdown when she’s not in a relationship. Companionship is wonderful and fantastic, but you should not fall apart when you don’t have it. Get it together.

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Howard Stern opens up about delivering Joan Rivers’ eulogy

howard stern

Howard Stern was invited to delivery the eulogy at Joan Rivers‘ funeral, and he couldn’t have been a more perfect fit. The pair had been friends for years, and Stern was able to bring levity to a very sad situation. He later talked about the experience on his Sirius XM radio show (via US Weekly).

“You know, to be at her funeral yesterday was really probably the most remarkable service I have ever witnessed,” Stern, 60, told listeners. “Beautiful temple. I have never been there before [and] it was magnificent. I’ve never seen anything like it. Just sitting in there made you reflective. And so, I got there early because I had gotten a call from [Joan's daughter] Melissa like a day and a half before the service, asking me if I would speak. I said to her, ‘Melissa you’re asking the wrong guy.’

Still, he agreed to speak before Rivers’ friends and family. “I said, ‘I’ll do it. I will do anything for Joan. I’ll do anything for you.’”

To prepare for the moment, Stern immediately sought advice from another fellow comic. “I was in touch with Louie C.K. and he’d written me and he said, ‘You know, Joan really deserves a great sendoff because of her impact.’ He said something very profound: ‘Joan was like an aunt or a best friend who could make everything better. And even in times… after lets just say 9/11 or the country just seems to be going downhill or things just seem to be bad… she would crack a joke, and you know this is true, when she would crack a joke, you didn’t feel so alone. You felt like we were all together and you felt like oh maybe things aren’t so bad.’”

“Louie said probably the loneliness and the unhappiness of life — what else could ease that despair than a great comedian? That’s what great comedians do. Great comedians have the ability to snap you out of this sadness, this loneliness…to set it all right again and she was really really a top pro.”

Stern also revealed that he was particularly moved by a performance given at the service by none other than Hugh Jackman, which… okay! (I had NO idea they were friends at all.)

“It was one of Joan’s favorites,” Stern said. “He starts singing it quietly and part of the song is clap your hands together. He made everyone get up and start clapping their hands to the song. I was so f—ing moved by this guys performance. I had tears. Now, you know me. I’m a big scumbag. I don’t get moved. I appreciated this guy so much. Hugh Jackman. You know f—ing Wolverine.”

Sounds like it was a fantastic celebration of Rivers’ life for those who knew and loved her.

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Taylor Swift doesn’t have the energy to be in love

taylor swift rolling stone

Taylor Swift‘s love life (or lack thereof) has been the focus of much of the attention paid to her over the past few years, but it seems all has been quiet on the dating front as of late. Why is that? Well, she doesn’t have “the energy” to be in love.

From Rolling Stone:

“I feel like watching my dating life has become a bit of a national pastime,” Swift says. “And I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work. And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start. And so,” she says, “I just don’t date.”

(That goes for hooking up as well. “I just think it’s pointless if you’re not in love,” Swift says. “And I don’t have the energy to be in love right now. So, no.”)

Truth be told, Swift sounds a tiny bit jaded – which, for a “self-professed hopeless romantic,” maybe isn’t the worst thing to be. “It’s not like I’ve sworn off love,” she says. “My life is just not conducive to bringing other people into it right now. I’m very childlike and romantic about lots of things, but I’m realistic about this.”

But hey, don’t go thinking TSwift is all sad and lonely, because that’s definitely not the case.

“Have you heard of the Loneliest Whale? There’s this whale – I think Adrian Grenier is making a documentary about it. It swims through the ocean, and it has a call unlike any other whale’s. So it doesn’t have anyone to swim with. And everybody feels so sorry for this whale – but what if this whale is having a great time? Because it’s not bad that I’m not hopelessly in love with someone. It’s not a tragedy, and it’s not me giving up and being a spinster. Although I did get another cat.” She laughs. “I asked around: I was like, ‘Does two cats count as cats?’ But then I thought, what imaginary guy’s perspective am I thinking about this from? Someone is going to think I’m undateable for a lot of reasons before they think I’m undateable because I have two cats.”

Oh, Taylor – that’s deep.

I really like Taylor and think she’s adorable and seems really likeable. It’s really a shame so much attention has been paid to who she’s dating and who she’s writing songs about, because I think it’s made her a little manic about the whole subject, leading to rants like this. Can’t say I blame her, but it does come off as a bit cuckoo.

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Lea Michele’s gigolo boyfriend is moving in

lea michele matthew paetz

What’s a former gigolo to do when his girlfriend is rockin’ that Glee money and you’re living in a shitty LA apartment? Pack your stuff and move in with her, of course! Live that Hollywood life! That’s exactly what’s happening with Lea Michele and boyfriend of just four months, Matthew Paetz, apparently.

From TMZ:

Sources close to Lea tell us … Matthew Paetz packed his stuff into a U-Haul over the weekend … moving out of his apartment, and upgrading to her $1.4 million Hollywood pad after just 4 months of dating.

We’re told Paetz already had a toothbrush and a few t-shirts at her their place … but now everything’s been moved — rugs, furniture and even his pillows.

I guess get in where you fit in? Must be cushy to hook up with a celebrity who will foot the bill for you to… do whatever the hell it is he does. Not that I care about Lea Michele in the slightest, but homegirl is getting used, I’d say.

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Paris Jackson is apparently pregnant at 16

Paris Jackson

This is one of those things that come off the rumour mill just stinking of pure horseshit, but here we go anyway. Michael Jackson‘s 16-year-old daughter Paris Jackson is apparently pregnant. All of this because she went to dinner and had water instead of wine (uh… she’s 16) and because she appeared to have a “baby bump”. Because of course if a girl/woman doesn’t have washboard abs, it’s because she’s expecting.

From Black America Web:

A source was quoted by the Daily Star newspaper as saying: “I saw her at dinner and she twice made a toast drinking water instead of wine. That and the prominent stomach bulge got people talking.”

News that the troubled star may be expecting her first child comes just days after she was reportedly spotted looking at engagement rings with her supposed boyfriend.

Paris has stayed away from the spotlight for the past year while attending therapeutic boarding school Diamond Ranch Academy in Utah following her attempted suicide last June.

The teen – who has grown close to her biological mother Debbie Rowe over the past 12 months – was given the all-clear from doctors in May and is reportedly adamant she won’t return to the $14,000-per-month private school this fall.

Can I just remind the world that this is a CHILD we’re talking about? A child who lost her parent, who is in the midst of a family that’s more concerned with her father’s money than the kids’ well-being and a child who has suffered a lot of mental and emotional anguish to the point of wanting to end her own life? And really, we’re gonna say she’s pregnant because of this shit? Fuck off.

Maybe she is pregnant, but it just seems tacky to be speculating about the sex life of an underage teenage girl who has already suffered due to the unwarranted attention and scrutiny she’s received.

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Beyonce is so grateful for your birthday wishes, she did a cartwheel

beyonce

Beyoncé celebrated her birthday on September 4th, and members of the Beyhive took to social media to bombard her with birthday wishes. She may be a worldwide star, but she does read your messages and she was so thankful for them, she posted a picture of herself doing a cartwheel (back walkover?) on her Instagram page to show her appreciation.

I guess that’s nice? Happy belated b-day, Bey.

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Here’s Kristen Stewart with her girlfriend

kristen stewart girlfriend

Made you look, didn’t I? Kristen Stewart headed back to LA last week, where she was reunited with her lesbian lover good friend Alicia Cargile. The pair ran some errands together over the course of a few days and were generally a fine couple. I’m sorta taking the piss here, but COME ON. I’ve been saying KStew likes a bit of muff diving since she was about 12. She oozes gay essence and I absolutely love it. Look at these two!

Here’s another photo of the two together:

kstew

Sigh. What a beautiful sight, lolz.

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