Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Miley Cyrus took some naked pics for V Magazine

miley cyrus

This post comes with a serious “NSFW” flag, because indeed, the new photos published in V Magazine are polaroids from Miley Cyrus herself, in which she’s not just a little bit naked, but completely and utterly nude as the day she was born. Of course, this is meant to be shocking and crazy, but Miley took these herself with her best friend because she’s such a ~free spirit~ and V published them because how the hell else are they going to sell copies?

Of course, Miley being naked is old hat now. She’s still trying really hard to prove how much she’s not like Hannah Montana in real life, which… girl, we know. We get it. Message received. Enough is enough.

Anyhow, you were warned…

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Katy Perry states the obvious: “I am not Beyonce!”

katy perry football

In just a couple weeks’ time, Katy Perry will invite some special guests to take over the Super Bowl halftime show. It’ll be weird, it’ll be full of neon colours and it’ll be moderately entertaining. One thing it won’t be? Beyonce. Just in case you were expecting Queen Bey to be there, Katy wants you to know they aren’t the same person and in fact, she has her own “unique” show planned.

“I can tell you this,” she teases. “I have some special guests, I have many costumes, I have different worlds that I’m creating and I would say that my entrance and my exit are very unique.

“I think the speculation is very fun,” she tells ET. “I don’t usually like speculation but I’m like, ‘Hey, it’s like bringing everybody into the conversation and you know, on Feb. 1 you’ll see what’s actually going to go down.”

“I am not Beyonce! We all know that. I am human,” she nervously jokes. “I’ll be something else. There’s so many flavors of ice cream and I’ll be a different one.”

Thank goodness she cleared that up – I would have expected her to do ‘Drunk In Love’, otherwise!

Look, I’m all for a Katy Perry halftime show performance. Why not? She’s fun live – her Prismatic World Tour was a great show (even though I nearly passed out twice and had to go out into the hall – true story!) and I think she’ll do just fine. It’s not like anyone who cares about football is there for the halftime show, and anyone who cares for the halftime show is only going to watch that bit (or hit it up the next day on YouTube, like myself). All will be well.

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Kylie Jenner posted a “no makeup selfie”

kylie jenner

The “no makeup selfie” is in quotes for a reason – I love when celebs try to pretend they’re completely bare-faced when they’re obviously wearing foundation (among other things) and have put all kinds of blurs and filters on the pic. It kinda doesn’t count, y’know? Kylie Jenner is the latest to take part in this trend, and it’s laughable how much of a no makeup selfie this ISN’T, but okay… let’s go with it.

Let’s dissect this:

1. The lips – this is the most obvious. We all know homegirl overdraws her lips, but there’s some big debate on whether or not she actually had collagen injections. She has clearly either overdrawn her lips here with a nude pencil or she has indeed plumped ‘em up with God knows what. But sorry, this is not “natural”.

2. Her skin – I know she’s only 17 so obviously she’s going to have smooth skin without wrinkles or anything, but hello, no teenager’s shit is this even – you would have imperfections, blemishes, whatever. Some kinda foundation or BB cream has been used here. And a bit of a Gaussian blur.

3. The eyelashes – does Kylie Jenner have permanent mascara? Otherwise, she’s put it on.

I’m not trying to shame her for using beauty products to enhance her appearance – hello, we all do. The point is, don’t try to post this bullshit with the caption she did and not be called out:

“You know it’s gonna be a good Sunday when ya weaves out & u haven’t put ur face on yet”

Ya, okay.

Just for reference, this is what Kylie Jenner looks like with her face ON:

kylie jenner

That boob job is such a mess.

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Beyonce is NOT pregnant, says Michelle Williams

michelle williams

Y’all, I’m about to throw some major shade, but whateer. It’s such a shame that Michelle Williams can only get press by using Beyonce‘s name, but that’s the state we’re in… :( Michelle hit up The View on Monday (why, I’m not sure and I don’t care enough to try and find out), where of course everyone wanted to know what was up with that cryptic Instagram pic Bey posted which made it seem like she’s totally having another baby. Don’t worry – Michelle will set things straight!

“You know, when she was pregnant**, people said that she wasn’t pregnant and, you know, it’s just no truth to it,” the Destiny’s Child alum said. “Sorry!”

“First of all, if you look at the picture, the baby bump is like where her knees probably really are so that’s really, you know?” she added, after looking again at the Instagram.

LOL, I love that she’s gleaning her information… from Instagram, just like the rest of us. Sorry, but I doubt Bey picked up the phone to call Michelle first to make the announcement either way.

Is Beyonce pregnant? Who knows, but I don’t think Michelle Williams is the authority – she knows as much as the OTHER Michelle Williams (i.e. nothing).

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Zooey Deschanel is pregnant!

zooey deschanel jacob pechenik

Last summer, Zooey Deschanel went public with her boyfriend Jacob Pechenik, a director she worked with on some movie called Rock the Kasbah a while back. Things are apparently going well, especially since Zooey just announced that she’s pregnant with her first child!

The New Girl star is expecting her first child with Jacob Pechenik this summer, her rep confirms to PEOPLE exclusively.

“Jacob and I are over the moon. We are so excited to meet our little one,” Deschanel tells PEOPLE.

The mom-to-be, 34, and her producer boyfriend, 42, have been dating since mid 2014.

OH GOD, not the dreaded “over the moon” statement! That’s THE WORST! Why do people do it? Why?!

Anyhow, congrats to Zooey – she’s a nice lady and I’m sure the baby will be cute. Not so sure this relationship is going to go the long haul, considering they only met last summer, but… ya never know!

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Usher is engaged to his business partner and longtime girlfriend Grace Miguel

usher grace miguel

Well, Usher‘s been busy lately – charging his phone in a woman’s vagina, showing his junk in a sex tape… what’s next? Engagement, apparently. He recently proposed to his longtime girlfriend/business partner Grace Miguel, and I guess she said yes because they’re going to be married!

“She’s happy but they’re trying to keep it quiet,” an insider tells Us of the private couple, who looked cozy with one another at the Golden Globes Art of Elysium Heaven Gala in Los Angeles on Jan. 10. Miguel’s ring finger was noticeably adorned with a giant diamond ring at the event.

Aw, well that’s nice, I guess. Apparently they’ve been together since 2009, so at least it’s an engagement that’s following an actual long term relationship where the people have spent time together and know one another. Good for them.

I don’t care much for Usher, but congrats to the happy couple.

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Leonardo DiCaprio and Rihanna are a thing now, apparently

leonardo dicaprio rihanna

Leonardo DiCaprio is a total ladies man, and Rihanna is basically everyone’s woman (come on, you know she’s hot), so I suppose it makes sense that these two would hook up. That’s the word on the street, anyway. Apparently they got hot and heavy at a party at the Playboy mansion – at least according to TMZ:

It wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio’s birthday this weekend … but it sure felt like it … he was seen going straight up “Wolf of Wall Street” on Rihanna at the Playboy Mansion.

It’s a good thing for Leo … designer Nikki Erwin had boyfriend/producer Chuck Pacheco — “Alpha Dogs,” “My Sister’s Keeper” — invite him to her star-stacked 30th B-Day at the Playboy Mansion Saturday … and our spies tell TMZ, Cap and RiRi were gettin’ super steamy and even swapping spit.

A friend of Leo’s tells us the kissing didn’t happen … but 2 people who were there say it did. BTW … not that there’s anything wrong with it.

Huh. Well… I guess it’s possible? Hilariously, MediaTakeout took it 80 steps further and claimed that not only did RiRi and Leo kiss, but they’re actually having a baby together! told you guys that Leonardo DiCaprio was dating Rihanna . . . and that they rang in the new year together. Some of y’all ain’t believe us. Well now we have controverted proof.

On Saturday night, there was a party at the Playboy mansion. One of the Playmates tweeted out that she saw Rihanna kissing Leo. She quickly deleted it and added that she was at the mansion with “unnamed celebs” after she realized that she might get in trouble for spilling tea.

Anyways, our SAME SNITCH that told us about Leo and Rihanna (before ANYONE ELSE KNEW) told us that Rihanna is DEFINITELY PREGNANT. And that despite her recent “partying” . . . Rihanna STILL PLANS on keeping the baby. We’re STILL not clear yet on who the father is . . . but it now looks like it MIGHT BE LEONARDO DiCAPRIO!!

LOL, yeah, okay. I mean, part of me can’t even see the kiss happening – I don’t think Mountain Man is particularly Rihanna’s taste, but I suppose anything’s possible…

Do you think this happened?

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