8Woody Allen’s Son is Just a Cut-Up

Happy Father’s Day again! Yeah, it was yesterday and I think we pretty much covered all the bases with the Peter Facinelli post, but if you weren’t around to check it out, Happy Father’s Day again! What a special, special day! And Woody Allen’s son, Ronan Farrow (son of Mia Farrow, not Woody’s adopted daughter), took to Twitter to wish his followers a Happy Father’s Day and this is what he came up with:

Um. LOL? Yes, I guess “LOL” would be appropriate here. I don’t quite know how the brother-in-law thing comes into play, being that there’s no disputing (?) that Ronan is Woody’s son (?), but … I don’t know. There’s definitely a weird bunch of birds there, and Woody’s recent comments about wanting to work with the “gifted” and “talented” Lindsay Lohan have only further solidified the fact that I think Woody Allen’s off his rocker.

June 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

1Please Tell Me Woody Allen’s Not Crazy Enough to Work With Lindsay Lohan

From TMZ:

The unlikely duo was spotted out in NYC last night at fancy-schmancy Philippe restaurant — and we’re told this isn’t their first spin on the friendship bicycle.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … Allen and Lilo have been friends for years now and he’s one of her biggest supporters — never jumping on the judgment bandwagon.

We’re told there are no projects officially on the books right now, BUT sources tell us they’ve been throwing around the idea of Lindsay being in one of Allen’s future films — which would be huge for Lilo, since his last flick, “Midnight in Paris,” won him an Academy Award.

We’re also told Lindsay has nothing but respect for the quadruple Oscar-winning director and would LOVE to work with him.

OK, somebody just kill me now. Woody Allen, coming out in “support” of Lindsay Lohan and her Lifetime-move-role-winning ways? I can’t even stand it. If this nutty little crackhead worms her way into one of Woody Allen‘s up-and-coming films, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.

I mean, honestly, what would he even call it? ‘Midnight Bar Brawls in Paris’? ‘Annie Eightball’? ‘To Rome With Love (and Drugs)’? ‘Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Cocaine But Were Afraid to Ask’? Or hey, maybe she could re-do the old classic, ‘Play It Again, Sam‘. I think I like that last one the best, probably.

May 6, 2012 at 9:00 am by Sarah

44Nobody Say ANYTHING

Woody Allen and his next wife *ahem* daughter attended the Knick’s game at Madison Square Garden Friday night.

Did anyone hear that?

That was the sound of me shooting fish in a barrel. 

I think I’m gonna let this one slide based on the premise that it basically writes itself….Also, I do not want to go to Hell.

February 7, 2009 at 6:30 am by Soleil

17Which of These Things Is Not Like the Others?

A rare shot of Woody Allen and his adopted daughter/wife, Soon-Yi, at the afterparty for the Vicky Cristina Barcelona premiere in LA.

Also there: Scarlett Johansson, looking like she descended from a completely different universe than Woody and Soon-Yi.

August 5, 2008 at 10:19 am by Evil Beet

3This Is Getting Loony

So Scarlett took a third role in a Woody Allen film. Fine. I’ve moved past it. But don’t you dare come out and compliment this wife’s adopted daughter coveting bastard. Don’t you do it Scarlett!

Sigh. You did it.

“I’d sew the hems of his pants if he asked me to,” the actress, 22, says in the April issue of Vogue.

Yes, and he’d allow you to. You’re the requisite 40 years younger he requires. Better to drink the blood of the young you see. Woody chimes in describing her as:

“criminally sexy,” telling the magazine: “While she is a much stronger actress in every way, there is a tiny bit of Marilyn Monroe in her zaftig humidity.”

Zaftig = juicy, succulent. Nice Wood, nice. You got her right where you want her. For fun let’s look at a bonus quote from 2005 from Woody.

Allen estimated that, despite the scandal’s damage to his reputation, Farrow’s discovery of Allen’s attraction to Soon-Yi Previn, by accidentally finding nude photographs of her, was “just one of the fortuitous events, one of the great pieces of luck in my life. [...] It was a turning point for the better.”

There you have it. This is a lucky dude. Also he’s a talentless hack. Go away.

March 21, 2007 at 12:50 pm by Spiteful Lars