Yes, Roseanne is still planning on running for president. If you check out her Twitter, you can see that she’s pretty serious about it, or I guess as serious as you can be while using Twitter for your presidential campaign. Another thing you can see if you check out her Twitter is that she really, really wants Willie Nelson to be her vice president, and this weekend, he accepted! But then he got confused and declined.

I’m assuming that Roseanne has mentioned Willie in her campaign before, but he didn’t respond, so she tweeted this:

Mike Tyson, Jello biafra, woody harrelson any of you’s wanna be Vice??? #callme

But a few hours after that, Willie did respond:

I would be happy to run w u After thinking about it awhile it kept sounding better Are u still interested? Love, Willie

Then Roseanne got super excited and said this:

WILLIE I THANK GOD FOR YOU!! May intelligence help us save our country!! BARR/NELSON2012

And then I guess Willie saw Roseanne’s first tweet of ideas for other possible vice presidents, and he backed out:

I see u are speaking to some1 else regarding ur vp running mate I know whoever ur choice is they will be happy to serve w u

Im not ready 2 get n2 politics I have stayed away this long I am content 2 sit on the sidelines & criticize every1 else

Good luck with your campaign. Love, Willie

Then Roseanne got upset and tried to get Willie back for a while, begging him to DM (direct message, for those of you not in the know) her:

wtf??? I told EVERYONE THAT YOU ACCEPTED, DUDE! you can’t back out now! Your country needs you!

can you DM me please?? you are in politics, you were part of a suit against Monsanto for farmers! can you please follow me 4dm

DM ME-follow me please so I can at least tell you what I am thinking–

PLEASE DON’T BACK OUT-I KNOW IT’S HARD TO BE DAVID AGAINST GOLIATH, but your country needs you-farmers need u!

Please let willie know how badly american farmers need his voice! Please Willie Please don’t change ur mind!!

I choose YOU, and want to talk to you-about all of it-dm me-

I am not going to stop until I can talk to you directly thanks

please dm me-follow me first

dm’d U!

I am waiting to speak with Willie Nelson -sent him my cell phone number & want to speak with him. I told every1 he accepted&I still want him

But alas, Willie still hasn’t responded.  Maybe it’s for the best? Or would you support Roseanne/Nelson in 2012?

Oh, yeah, hey. I just figured that maybe some of you are like me and would really enjoy starting the morning with country legends doing smooth covers of contemporary chill bands for a fast food commercial. I’m right, aren’t I? Of course.

Last November, in one of the lamest events of 2010, Willie Nelson was detained in Sierra Blanca, Texas (population 533, home of America’s Largest Sewage Dump) for having a stinky tour bus. He was subsequently arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor offense that carries no jail time.

This June, it seemed as though Nelson struck a pretty good plea deal: if he coughed up a $500 fine and court expenses, he could go on his merry way, the prosecutor decided. Because what kind of sicko would toss a frail, 78-year-old stoner in the clink?

Why, Hudspeth County Judge Becky Dean-Walker sure would! The plea deal sounded like “special treatment” to her, and she’d rather make an example out of the legendary singer-songwriter.

As Judge Dean-Walker explained to the New York Times, “If Willie Nelson gets off with nothing, I’m not going to be part of it.” She also told Reuters, “I’m not going to be guilty of signing something because someone is a celebrity… Everybody should be treated the same in my court.” She told the local West Texas ABC affiliate, “To me, [the plea deal was] wrong. I think that he should be charged with something that shows drugs were involved.”

That’s why Judge Dean-Walker rejected the plea deal, demanding instead that the prosecutor, County Attorney C.R. Bramblett, seek a harsher punishment—that is, the judge is trying to get Willie Nelson nailed with misdemeanor drug possession, which is punishable with jail time.

Last week Judge Dean-Walker told press she initially signed the plea deal by accident, then scratched her name off the document again. She kind of reminds me of my hometown Angel of Vengeance (I’m secretly from Texas).

If the case goes to trial, Willie Nelson faces up to a year of jail time. The very idea horrifies me. He’s so old! As I see it, Judge Dean-Walker is trying to kill Willie Nelson. That was almost my headline, actually, but I reconsidered.

And now for my favorite hobby, Armchair Lawyering: If I were Prosecutor Bramblett, I’d just trump up a baseless felony charge. That plan probably couldn’t backfire, and at least they’d get a different judge.

I also just discovered that Willie’s Place—the Willie Nelson -themed truck stop, easily the most heavenly place in Texas—shuttered earlier this year. Oh, Willie! Just get out of Texas once and for all; she’s no good to you.

It’s not just teenagers that are getting hassled for weed. Willie Nelson was charged with drug possession this morning after 6 ounces of marijuana were found in his tour bus.

From the AP:

Patrol spokesman Bill Brooks says the bus pulled into the Sierra Blanca, Texas, checkpoint about 9 a.m. Friday. Brooks says an officer smelled pot when a door was opened and a search turned up marijuana.

Brooks says the Hudspeth County sheriff was contacted and Nelson was among three people arrested.

Sheriff Arvin West didn’t immediately return a phone message left at his home Friday, but he told the El Paso Times that Nelson claimed the marijuana was his. The singer was held briefly a $2,500 bond before being released.

We JUST talked about this in the Bristol Palin post, but I really don’t think that driving around with some weed is the biggest offense police officers need to be worrying about these days.

However, six ounces is a fuckin’ lot of weed. Like, I’m trying to imagine it in my head, and I feel like six ounces would fill up at least half of a trash bag, if not the whole thing. I’m not pissed about the fact that the weed’s illegal, but tour buses are small. There has to be a better way for Willie to use that space. It’s not like people don’t hand him joints everywhere he goes, right?