Wait. Do you remember who Whitney Port is? Oh, no. Do I remember who Whitney Port is? Let’s see – here’s a few things that should jog our memories. She looks pretty good without makeup. She’s got questionable fashion sense. She used to be super thin (now she’s just thin). She did some stuff with some magazines. She had a spin-off of … oh dear God, that’s right: The Hills.
So what’s girlfriend done since those days? Well, she apparently cooks her own breakfast. She’s going to be on The Price is Right soon, if she hasn’t been already, she’s got a cameo in this year’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and she’s … wait, what the f-ck? She’s got eight-hundred and some-odd thousand Twitter followers? Can someone maybe explain that to me, or is there something that she’s done that could possibly be construed as important enough to warrant that kind of following in 2012? Does she offer free oral sex with each follow? Does she answer each and every direct message sent her way? Is there maybe some obscure international politician by the same name or something whose Twitter feed is sort of boring and who I might be confusing her with? No? Damn.
Unfortunately, that’s really all I’ve got about Whitney Port. She did that stuff up there, and she had a double nipslip in the picture after the jump. Which is obviously NSFW, unless you work for that creepy, seedy Joe Francis. Or, you know, if you happen to work for Evil Beet. Because we just thrive on candid nudie shots of celebrities, no matter what their star status happens to be, you know?
I don’t know about you, but I’m all about seeing celebrities without makeup, without Photoshop, without all of the glitz and the glam that goes along with walking the red carpet for whatever event or hitting up the walk outside of David Letterman’s studio. It means a bunch to know that many of these celebrities are normal-looking people that just happen to have the benefit of possessing some of the finest makeup artists and stylists in the world to make them look almost supernatural - and it’s wicked encouraging for the quite-average-looking person like myself.
So here’s Whitney Port getting a manicure. And guys? She looks like my next-door neighbor. … If, you know, my next-door neighbor wasn’t a sixty-six year-old man that walked with a limp and a leer and shook his fist every time I went outside.
The City “actress” Whitney Port on the streets of New York City wearing what can only be described as “What Every Girl Wore My Junior Year Of High School.” What do you think?
Is the pressure of having her own show starting to get to her?
Whitney Port’s always been a slender girl, but she looks super skinny in these new shots of her shopping in NYC.
Oh, Whitney. We loved you because you seemed normal and sane. Please don’t do this. Please.
Here’s Whitney Port — from whom I expected so much more — getting all handsy with some greasy dude wearing a fedora, a vest, and rolling his T-shirt sleeves at a Manhattan cafe.
First I hear they’re involving Olivia Palermo in this bullshit, and now this?
Vomit vomit blech.
Apparently Whitney’s spinoff — called The City, of course — will co-star none other than NYC socialite Olivia Palermo, who’s been desperately trying to achieve mainstream fame forever now.
According to a source, “Olivia has been filming all over town. She’s earning $12,000 per episode.”
Ugh. God. I was actually going to watch this show, but if Olivia Palermo’s on it, I think I’ll just sit on the couch, stare at the wall and drink Ipecac instead. I’ll be less nauseous that way.
Oh, and I’m also hearing rumors that VH1 is currently casting a “real-life Gossip Girl” reality series in NYC. Sigh. The next generation is on their way, folks.
Congratulations to Whitney Port, the only marginally sane cast member of The Hills, whose spinoff has just been picked up by MTV.
“They will start shooting immediately,” says a show source, who confirms the pickup just happened within the last two weeksâ€”though the network has yet to respond to a call for comment.
The series, set to begin airing in early 2009, will feature Port’s life in New York City, where she is now working for Diane von Furstenberg.
Now this is a show I might actually watch. It might even give us a — gasp! — real sense of what it’s like to work in the New York fashion industry. Hopefully heading up her own series doesn’t turn Whitney into another dramalicious Hollywood starlet. I like that she seems down-to-earth and normal.
Will you guys be tuning in to this show?