Wait. Do you remember who Whitney Port is? Oh, no. Do I remember who Whitney Port is? Let’s see – here’s a few things that should jog our memories. She looks pretty good without makeup. She’s got questionable fashion sense. She used to be super thin (now she’s just thin). She did some stuff with some magazines. She had a spin-off of … oh dear God, that’s right: The Hills.
So what’s girlfriend done since those days? Well, she apparently cooks her own breakfast. She’s going to be on The Price is Right soon, if she hasn’t been already, she’s got a cameo in this year’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and she’s … wait, what the f-ck? She’s got eight-hundred and some-odd thousand Twitter followers? Can someone maybe explain that to me, or is there something that she’s done that could possibly be construed as important enough to warrant that kind of following in 2012? Does she offer free oral sex with each follow? Does she answer each and every direct message sent her way? Is there maybe some obscure international politician by the same name or something whose Twitter feed is sort of boring and who I might be confusing her with? No? Damn.
Unfortunately, that’s really all I’ve got about Whitney Port. She did that stuff up there, and she had a double nipslip in the picture after the jump. Which is obviously NSFW, unless you work for that creepy, seedy Joe Francis. Or, you know, if you happen to work for Evil Beet. Because we just thrive on candid nudie shots of celebrities, no matter what their star status happens to be, you know?