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Victoria Beckham

1Breaking News: Victoria Beckham Actually Knows How to Smile

victoria beckham

For those of who you think Victoria Beckham is a miserly old bitch whose facial muscles have been frozen into a constant expression of consternation and disapproval, prepare to be surprised. She actually smiles! She loves life! She’s full of joy! Yahoo!!!!

In all seriousness, I love that Posh and Becks are in on the joke about Victoria being so miserable all the time – he posted the above photo on his Facebook page with the caption, “See, I told you she smiles.” Awesome!

I love Victoria Beckham and think she’s kinda fierce as hell – her constant lack of emotion is kind of hilarious and also pretty awesome in the face of a society that basically expects ladies to be smiling dolls 24/7. I mean, she’s a hot mess, for sure, but I kind of love her for it, you know?

June 24, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

3Spice Girls Musical Shut Down (There Was A Spice Girls Musical?)

spice girls musical viva forever

Viva Forever, a musical based on the works of the Spice Girls in London’s West End, was cancelled. Judging by that photo it looks like it was basically just a group of women dressed as Spice Girls singing Spice Girls songs, and it probably was, but now I’LL NEVER KNOW. It opened only last December. Mamma Mia it is not.

Emma Bunton/Baby Spice tweeted (via EOnline), “I am totally gutted that our wonderful show @vivaforever is coming to an end. Thank you to all our amazing fans for your constant support!”

Geri Halliwell/Ginger managed to put her truth or dare game with Mel B/Scary on hold to tweet “We love u all @vivaforever @emmabunton @MelanieCmusic @OfficialMelB @victoriabeckham #what a shocka , gutted .x”

Mel C/Sporty tweeted “Absolutely devastated our wonderful show is closing. Thank you to our brilliant cast and everybody who made the show so incredible.” that Mel B retweeted.

Victoria Beckham/Posh tweeted nothing because she’s Victoria Beckham. Or because she’s ~~too busy being a working mum~~.

All this tweeting makes me realize even more that journalists can quite easily become obsolete. No one releases real statements anymore. Unless it’s an “I was drunk and I’m sorry” statement that needs more than 140 characters.

In conclusion, slam your body down a-zig-ah-zag-ah. (What’s YOUR favorite Spice song?)

May 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0No Shit, Sherlock of the Day: Victoria Beckham Thinks Being A Working Mother is “Hard”

victoria beckham

Listen, it’s not easy spending 8 hours a day trying to freeze your facial muscles in place so that you never break a smile, so it’s no wonder Victoria Beckham is finding it “hard” to balance her work and motherhood. While she and husband David Beckham want their four children to grow up “normal” (as normal as the kid of millionaires can be), that means an extra juggling act between their professional endeavours and their parenting responsibilities.

From Metro:

‘Being a working mum you feel guilty every time you go out of the door when you have to work,’ Posh said about every time she has to wave goodbye to kids Brooklyn, 14, Romeo, 10, Cruz, 8, and 21-month-old daughter Harper.

‘I try not to travel too much unless it’s during the school holidays as I don’t like to leave the kids. The children are my priority and always have been, and always will be’ the designer said at the Vogue Festival in London on Sunday.

‘It’s the same for any working mum out there. You just do your best, but constantly feel guilty. I enjoy being a mum. I love having kids more than anything and I would do anything for them.’

Well, how do I put this gently? DUH. Being torn between your children and your career is no new struggle, but imagine the women who do it a) without a second parent and b) without all the endless streams of money you’ve got, along with the staff of helpers and etc? How in the hell do you think they feel?

Sometimes I feel like celebrities say shit like this to try and sound “normal” and to make average joes who buy bullshit papers and magazines feel like they’re relatable and totally understand the struggle. Like hell you do, lady! Also, when’s someone going to come out and say that they DON’T feel bad about having a career as well as being a mother? Being fulfilled in one does not negate giving your all in the other.

Sorry, I was trying to be nice today.

April 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

4David Beckham Vows That His Kids Will Grow Up “Normal”

beckham family

David and Victoria Beckham might be two of the richest people on God’s green earth, but that doesn’t mean that their kids have to grow up to be assholes. At least not according to David, who swears that regardless of the family’s status as close to English royalty, their three sons and daughter will have a “normal” life. Uh, okay, sure, let’s go with that.

From CNN:

“My eldest now is at the age where he wants to do things and he wants to go places and you have to hold him back, or we have to hold him back.”

“You have to explain it to him that there are certain things that he can’t do. But to be honest, with our children, we let them do 99% of the things they want to do because we want them to lead a normal life.”

What if one of the things they want to do is like, rent out a zoo for a day and ride on the back of a cheetah through a makeshift safari? That’s not particularly normal, but I figure money could probably buy something that ridiculous if it came down to it.

Listen, there’s no way these kids are ever going to have a “normal” life. Their mother is a narcissistic fashion icon who’s smiling muscles have been broken since 1997 and their father is a world famous footballer who makes more money in a day than I will this year and next put together, probably. But I guess it’s a nice thought.

April 2, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

2The Beckhams Are In France, Everyone!

Wherever the Beckhams go, an entourage of admirers and photographers will follow. It’s pretty bizarre, actually. Victoria and David – the latter wearing more clothes than usual- took the kids to Paris on Monday, arriving at the Gare du Nord train station as if it was a red carpet premiere, complete with couture clothing, hateful side-eyes at the press and bewildered children.

Here’s what had to say about it:

Fresh off celebrating Cruz’s 8th birthday in London, David and Victoria and the rest of the Beckham brood arrived at the Gare du Nord train station in Paris on Monday (February 18).

The fashion designer matriarch looked chic in a blue and black short-sleeved top and navy skirt with her pointy heels while her dashing soccer star hubby held an adorable Harper in his arms.

Just two days earlier, the 38-year-old mother-of-four took part in London Fashion Week by helping to judge the Woolmark prize.

Along with fellow judges Diane von Furstenberg, Donatella Versace, and Natalie Massanet, she awarded the prize to an emerging international fashion talent. This year’s winner is Belgian designer Christian Wijnants.

No one can deny this is a very good looking family.

February 19, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

8Aww, Look Who Was Completely Adorable in 1992!

A photo of Victoria Beckham

Do you recognize her? It’s little bitty Victoria Beckham, fresh out of high school! I recognized her immediately, but then my mind was like “no, stupid, quit being stupid,” but then I saw the name, and isn’t this just so strange? She just looks so different. Ok, here’s Victoria Beckham now:

A photo of Victoria Beckham

And Victoria Beckham then:

A photo of Victoria Beckham

I realize that it’s been 20 years, but dang, you guys. Dang. I just never remembered a time that Victoria Beckham didn’t look like a robot who was about two minutes away from needing recharged.

September 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Victoria Beckham
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