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Lisa Rinna Works to Make the World a Better Place in 2009

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As just another human on this earth, I try to contribute something to the planet.  I really do factor this thinking in to many of the things I do.  It could be something as simple as selecting a product made of recycled materials or handing out my old coats to the homeless.  It is my philosophy that many people making many small gestures can lead to a really impressive result.  Make a difference; make this life count…you know?

So.  Lisa Rinna has decided that her world beautification effort is going to come in the form of…well…herIn Playboy.  Naked, snatch.  She also posed ten years ago when she was nine months pregnant.  Which is another thing I never understood.  Why do these women get all “oh, my amazing, womanly vessel” and start posing on magazine covers when they are knocked up?  Seriously, there is a time for modesty and leaking boobs and stretch marks is, in fact, that time.  As is middle age. 

Listen, I don’t discredit the fact that she looks great for her 45 years.  I just wonder…is there really such a void in our society that can only be filled by Lisa Rinna’s ass?

Tom Cruise’s Kids Take a Night Off From Playing Bridge

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I raced to Google when I saw these pictures, in the vain hope that at least one of Tom Cruise’s kids was old enough to legally purchase cigarettes.  The mother in me just cannot allow myself to be critical of 16 and 12 year-old children.  Which these two are.  Can you believe it?  Don’t they look so much older than that?  What 16 year-old wears jacquard? 

You rarely hear much about Tom Cruise’s kids.  I was impressed that they are never in the papers for their DUI’s and Vegas quickies.  Yeah.  That’s because they are in the Oxy10 zone right now.  We have years to wait before a tell-all can even be a possibility. 

Isabella and Connor Cruise accompanying their dad to the Valkyrie premiere in LA.

Paris Hilton Was Not Robbed

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I got an IM from a concerned citizen about how media everywhere is talking about how Paris Hilton was robbed today when a thief stole $2M in jewelry from her Beverly Hills home. “I believe she was burgled,” he said. Apparently robbery is when there is an in-person threat of violence, but, since Paris was not home at the time, it is a burglary. Paris Hilton was burgled, not robbed. (And just you know, I was informed that “larceny” is when you steal without breaking in. As in “Justin Gaston larcened Miley Cyrus’s virginity.”) There you have it folks! You’re all prepared to be detectives now!

“At around 5 a.m. Friday, officers received a call from a security guard who reported that Paris Hilton’s residence had been broken into,” LAPD spokeswoman Julie Sohn tells PEOPLE.

“According to detectives, a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced entry through the front door, ransacked her bedroom, took unknown property and fled,” Sohn added.

I don’t really understand what happened here. Like, do they know what the dude was wearing because they checked the security tapes, or were they watching it happen and just didn’t do anything about it? Also, where was Paris Hilton at 5 a.m. last night if she wasn’t at her house? Did the robber burglar know she wouldn’t be home? How did he get into her gated, “secure” community in the first place? Did he have an inside source? Inquiring minds want to know.