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Reason #456 Why Teenagers Should Play Sports.

When I was a teenager I remember having a really crappy cellphone. I didn’t know what my number was so people couldn’t call me on the phone. My parents would page me on my little baby blue pager then I would use my little green screen cell. Maybe I had about 20 min which probably set my parents back 50 bucks.
Now, every time I see a teenager they are text messaging. I text a lot, I’m guilty as charged but it took me about 6 months to get more than a couple words out of my phone. These kids text continuously. It is nuts. So nuts that this is a quote from a story on AOL news.

“Sixteen-year-old Ang Chuang Yang typed the SMS (short message service) message in 41.52 seconds, beating the previous record of 42.22 seconds set by American Ben Cook in July, according to Singapore Telecommunications, organizers of the competition.”

What? There is a competition for text messaging. Something about that is sad.

I’m Not Saying She’s a Gold Digger…

“I love all men equally, no matter their financial situation. At the end of the day, however, if you want to enter a serious relationship, I think it’s very important that your special someone has his finances under control. Otherwise, how can you even contemplate a future with him?” -Ivanka Trump to Stuff Magazine

I’m seriously not judging Miss Trump here. More rich ladies need to be wary of those men out there looking for a sugar mama. Go girl, let Miss Spears be a cautionary tale.

Thanks to a great gossip whore Liz Smith for this great quote.

Frat Boys Sue Borat


Two John Does are suing 20th Century Fox and One America Productions, claiming members of their fraternity were used in the Borat movie (no, I’m not typing out the whole title), after they were assured the film would not be shown in the United States and that their identities would not be revealed.

According to TMZ (where you can find the court papers), the “movie features a scene in a motor home where Cohen gets drunk with three frat boys who go on a racist rant about how they wished they had slaves and how minorities in the United States ‘have all the power.’” The boys were paid $200 for their appearance. The suit asks for unspecified damages. The guys did sign releases to appear in the movie, but they claim they were signed “after heavy drinking.”

So, to recap, two frat boys got wasted, did and said some very ignorant and disturbing things, and it was all caught on tape. Surprise!!! This reminds me of the time that a porn crew decided on a whim to film in a frat house at my undergrad university, and the executive vice president of the student body became a minor porn star overnight. It was awesome. He had to write an apology letter to the student body. It ran in our paper. Amazing.

And, with that, I’ve met my Borat-related posting quota for the year. Evil Beet out.

David Silver is Getting Married!

Remember Brian Austin Green? 90201? An incredible TV movie with his then-girlfriend Tiffany Amber-Thiessen? He is engaged to Megan Fox of “Hope and Faith” and they have dated since she was barely 18. She is now 20 and he is 33. Oh, he also is Vanessa Marcil’s (NBC’s “Las Vegas”) baby daddy.
Here are some quotes from an interview with Megan in FHM:

On Her Tattoos:
“I have five. Anytime I have a feeling about anything, I get tattooed. I have a poem I wrote on my ribcage and a symbol for strength on my neck, and my boyfriend Brian’s name tattooed next to my pie.”

On Her Love of Strip Clubs:
“I’d go to the Body Shop because Crüe sings about it in “Girls, Girls, Girls.” It’s an 18-and-up place and it’s fully nude, so that was my hangout for a while.”

“I lived in Florida, which is like a stripper elephant boneyard: You’ll see a 63-year-old stripping next to an eight-month pregnant woman next to a girl with six teeth. The dirtiest place I’ve been is called Peek-a-Boo. It’s in West Palm Beach. Once, I got on stage myself. I didn’t do nudity but I made hundreds for just one song. It was either “I’m a Slave 4 U” by Britney or an Aerosmith song. If I had my choice, though, it would have been “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard.”

On Her Wild Libido:
“I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy. My sex drive is so high. I’d rather have sex with Brian all the time than leave the house. He doesn’t mind.”

So, you mean that Brian Austin Green is totally having wild sex with a hot barely legal girl who loves strip clubs? He has really gone up in the world since being the dork of “90210.” I bet his mom is so proud.