Today's Evil Beet Gossip

TV Theme Songs Are So 1995

This article on really struck me because I didn’t realize that TV theme songs had disappeared. This makes me sad. I fully enjoy singing along to “Thank You for Being a Friend” (Golden Girls) when I’m watching Lifetime. I also when drunk have been known to get “Charles in Charge” stuck in my head. I bought that awful CD that had the “Friends” theme song. I also remember secretly planning out my hot head turn that was going to be my title shot when I joined that cast of Melrose Place. Evil Beet and I found a shared love for Shawn Colvin after her song “Climb On” on “Party of Five” before the theme song was changed to “Closer to Free”.

Sad that this has all gone away. They had a 26-second theme song for “Grey’s Anatomy” but that has been scrapped. “Two and a Half Men” has a cute little intro, but not many shows have those fun intros where you get montages of characters and snappy little songs. Even the shows that do have opening credits sometimes scrap them entirely just for a title-flash.

I secretly dream of a world where Lost has a “Beverly Hills 90210″-esque opening including Sawyer ripping off his shirt and Jack running down the beach “Baywatch” style.

Apparently Jimmy Kimmel has a different take on his ideal Lost Theme Song.

Update: This is also from YouTube but I had to post it again. YouTube recently has taken down 30,000 clips which is lame.

Carmen Electra Earns her Spot on the D-List

Carmen Electra, who was the Queen of the C-List Celebrities now has earned her spot on the D-list by becoming the spokesperson for NV Rapid Weight-Loss Beauty Pill. If you wonder how you can spot a D-list celebrity, here are the following signs.

1) MTV Reality show followed by messy divorce.
2) Appearing on Baywatch.
3) Failed singing career. Albums are bought mainly in Japan.
4) Acknowledgement of Plastic Surgery, usually in US Weekly, InTouch, or Life and Style
5) Appearing in Playboy, Maxim, or Stuff Magazine.
6) A little to eager to pose for Paparazzi.
7) Appears on Celebrity Poker Showdown more than once.
8) Movies often go straight to video.
9) Hanging out with Perez Hilton.
10) Whoring yourself out for a diet pill.

Carmen, you are welcome to join Shanna Moakler, Tara Reid, David Hasselhoff, Ashley Parker Angel, Nikki Hilton, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Anna Nicole Smith, Perez Hilton, and our newest member, Paris Hilton, for a reception at Red Lobster, punch and pie will be served.

PS- Jess, your invite got lost in the mail.

Slaughter at NBC: 700 Jobs Slashed

Well, the Aaron Sorkin thing didn’t work so hot, so NBC is going back to basics, as the Peacock struggles to keep its head above water after three years of unimpressive ratings and declining operating profit. NBC is slashing 700 jobs, around 5% of its workforce, expecting the cuts to result in a savings of $750 million in operating expenses by 2008.

NBC’s also through gambling on “quality programming” with “good writing” or, you know, “writing,” as they plan to move their prime-time focus away from scripted dramas and comedies. They’ll move the focus to cheaper-to-produce reality/game-show programming like “Deal or No Deal” and “The Biggest Loser,” where they’ll get a better rate of return on ad sales. The result will, hopefully, be a totally killer 10K filing that you, the NBC viewer, can enjoy almost as much as you’d enjoy watching innovative or entertaining NBC programming.

Jeff Zucker, chief executive at NBC Universal, points out that ABC’s been doing the same thing for awhile, and states that, “We want to be sure that we continue to provide the best programming possible. We just want to put the programming where we get the highest rate of return.” Continues Zucker, “If you guys’ll run this with a positive spin, you can try your hand at writing the comedy sketches for the next episode of Studio 60.” After taking a moment to reconsider, Zucker went on, “Actually, could you guys just do that anyway? Or one of your interns? Maybe someone in your IT department? Anyone?”

Top Chef Loser Hosts Series

She may not have made it into the finals of Top Chef, but contestant Lee Anne Wong has signed on to host Top Recipe: The Wong Way to Cook, an new “webisode” series on, which will air every Thursday evening to showcase the winning recipe from last week’s Top Chef epsiode.

“It offers a new viewing opportunity to our highly engaged viewers and a place where they can log on and further connect with one of their favorite Bravo personalities and explore the creative process,” says Lauren Zalaznick, president of Bravo.

“That bitch should put down the crack pipe,” retorts Dick Wolf.

DRAMA!!!! Eric "McSteamy" Dane is Married to Dylan’s Dead Wife!!!!

Oh, this is so sad. This post was supposed to be much, much funnier. I heard a little rumor that there was a scuffle on the set of Grey’s Anatomy, between Dempsey and Isaiah Washington, so I checked out Grey’s Anatomy Insider for more information. For those of you who actually cared about this — they fought because they’re incredibly vain (and prolly jealous that hottie Eric Dane officially joined the cast), and then they made up, and said incredibly vain and vaguely homoerotic things to the press. Good? Good.

Because it’s all downhill from there.

I figured while I was on the GA Insider, I’d check around and see if there was anything else of interest to me. And was there ever! If by “interesting” you mean “emotionally crippling,” of course.

Look at this:

Dane is married to actress Rebecca Gayheart, who fans may remember from Noxzema commercials, a stint on Beverly Hills: 90210 and other roles.

Damn you, Noxzema Girl! First you take Dylan McKay, and then, when we think you’re good and dead at the hands of his father’s ruthless enemies, you swoop back in and take McSteamy. I hate you.