Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Um, Awkward

Pamela Anderson has been writing divorce poetry

pamela anderson rick salomon

Can someone take the internet away from most celebrities? Like, especially after big life events like break-ups/divorce? Pamela Anderson announced this week that she was divorcing husband Rick Salomon (again), and that realization has got her creative juices flowing, I suppose, because now she’s writing terrible divorce poetry and posting it on Facebook.

This is a long one, so I’ll just give you a taste here and then you can read the full thing behind the cut.

Smoldering…
I know it’s bad for you…
But, this is when I wish,
I had a cigarette-
something I’ve never tried- (light up)
some kind of relief..
I wish it was Italy 40 years ago–
The moon rising over the Amphitheater–
to tremendous applause… like Herzog (clap)
Europeans don’t seem to care about silly
smoking laws?,
We do what we want anyway -
behind closed doors–
Our true character, collective complexities.
childish activities -
patterns- genetics? Attention deficit-
- …SEX … a lost art– a sickness–
Perversions-
Lost sensuality -
The cruel smell of orange blossoms…
I love being in love– but expectations,
make it impossible to be happy-
or satisfied…
I’ve tried… so hard..
maybe it’s not in fashion–
Tradition…just seemed so romantic…,
I guess it’s a used up ideal –
for the old fashion…
not modern…
Female security… lost-
no way–
Coded, and loaded Cell phones,
Computers –
Ordering sex on line-
is like ordering a book on Amazon–
and … snooping eats you alive–

Oh dear. So basically he was cheating… again. I mean, do people never learn? Anyhow, let’s let Pamela continue with her poetic flow. It’s SO LONG!

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Miley Cyrus made a drug and nudity-filled movie with Moby and Wayne Coyne

miley cyrus

First of all, where the hell has Moby been lately? You know, besides sitting alone in his apartment thinking about what a great artist he is and how no one understands music like he does. He seems to come out of hiding long enough to collaborate with Miley Cyrus and getting-weirder-by-the-day Wayne Coyne on a new music video/movie that’s trippy in all the wrong ways and is in no way worth watching. But please, I encourage you to do it anyway:

If this is what art is now, God help us all.

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Has Jason Biggs always been such a dickhead?

jason biggs

I feel like I just tried to forget Jason Biggs was a thing that exists in the world for many years, and I succeeded until I started watching Orange is the New Black and then I couldn’t anymore. Then he started doing interviews because he actually booked another job after American Pie, and every time he opens his mouth to speak, it’s just a whole lot of bullshit that comes out.

Nevermind that he’s classless enough to talk shit about women’s bodies (as if he’s anything to look at – newsflash: no thanks) and exploit the Jewish community, but now he’s bragging about how his wife let him have a threesome with a prostitute but he didn’t really enjoy it because he wanted to see some lesbian action and it didn’t really happen. This talk all happened on The View, by the way.

“We are very open people, we are real people. My wife is amazing. This is not a habitual thing on our part. We don’t have a group of prostitutes who come in and out of our house on a regular basis.”

“I didn’t have a good time in the end,” he admitted. “It took three ladies over the course of three different days. Let’s just say I didn’t complete the mission. My wife found the whole thing to be quite hysterical even while it was happening. She was actually on the bed, watching, eating a bag of chips, laughing, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t really performing to the best of my abilities. Also, said prostitute wasn’t engaging with my wife the way I hoped she would and so it all kind of fell apart, and the rest is in the book.”

Apparently Candace Cameron-Bure asked his wife about this when she was on the show a few days prior because she wrote about the experience in her new book. Candace is a pretty strict Christian, so obviously she’s going to disagree with the decision and she said as much during the broadcast. Jason’s response? Classy as ever:

“Candace, I love her, but she was asking for more details,” he told the show’s hosts. “I think she just wanted us to demonstrate with her.”

Oh yes, definitely. Because she disagrees with what you do, it must just be because she wants you so badly. The fuck is with this asshole? How can ANYONE like him?

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