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Two And A Half Men

Amber Tamblyn Officially Joins Two And A Half Men As A Regular Cast Member

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Amber Tamblyn joined Two And A Half Men for a stint as the illegitimate “sexy, gorgeous lesbian” daughter of Charlie Sheen‘s deceased character. And now it’s a permanent thing. She’s a regular cast member. Cha-ching Amber. Cha-f-cking-ching. Details from Hollywood Reporter:

The actress, who boarded season 11 in a five-episode stint as Charlie Harper’s (Charlie Sheen) long-lost (lesbian) daughter, has been promoted to series regular.

Tamblyn’s Jenny moves to L.A. to pursue acting and connect with what’s left of her family. She likes everything her dad liked — including women. The move is not unexpected as Tamblyn’s deal had an option for her to become a series regular.

OKAY LISTEN, NON-JUDGEMENT ZONE RIGHT HERE, BECAUSE I AM CURIOUS. Have you been watching Amber on Two And A Half Men? How is she? Is she funny? Is the show finally funny?

I need to know, guys. But I need to know without actually watching it.

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Amber Tamblyn, What Have You Done??

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Amber Tamblyn is being known as a smart, cool, slightly quirky actress in Hollywood, right? She won me over with this brilliant and hilarious email exchange with Tyrese. She married David Cross which earns (both of them) a hundred cool points. So what in the ever-loving f-ck is she doing joining the cast of Two And A Half Men??

Okay the answer is probably obvious: money. But still. Amber. Ugh. Here are some details from Us Weekly:

Amber Tamblyn has been cast as Jenny Harper, the illegitimate lesbian daughter of the late Charlie Harper (formerly played by Charlie Sheen) on the half-hour sitcom. The actress will recur in at least five episodes during Season 11, with an option to become a series regular.

As Us Weekly previously reported, Tamblyn’s character will show up at the home of Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher) and Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) looking for her dad. If the 30-year-old [why the hell do they feel they need to mention her age] is a hit with viewers, the plan is to have her move in with the duo, filling the void left by Jake Harper (Jones).

Best of luck, Ms. Tamblyn! A job’s a job, I guess. And at least the Warlock isn’t there anymore.

Oh, F-ck Off: ‘Two and a Half Men’ Adds “Sexy, Gorgeous” Lesbian Character

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Two and a Half Men is obviously the worst show on television at the moment, and has been since it first went on the air WAY TOO MANY years ago. It’s misogynistic, has terrible writing and is most definitely NOT funny in any way. And yet… it survives. HOW is this possible? Who is watching this trash?

The show’s latest foray into fuckery comes with the announcement that they plan to replace Angus T Jones – who publicly bit the hand that fed him, so to speak, by saying what absolute disgusting garbage the show is – with a “sexy, gorgeous” lesbian character who’s meant to be dead Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)’s long lost daughter. Are you kidding me?

Let me guess what’s going to happen here. We know that the character will show up to find her father and discover that he’s dead, but she’ll still move in with Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer. So… what, they’ll both fall in love with her and think they can fuck her straight? They’ll take to being pervy and spying on her, hoping to catch a little girl on girl action to masturbate to? I want to punch so many things.