This, ladies and gentlemen, is a prime example of a deep-seated neurosis.
Anita, Twilight‘s biggest fan – according to Moviefone – compiled the above video as an entry for a contest on the Moviefone website, aptly named ‘Are You the Biggest Twihard?’
Anita, because she is the Chuck Norris of Twilight fans (really, how much practice did it take to get that deadpan delivery of those creepy lines – wait, none, because like Chuck Norris, insanity lurks in the soul), won the contest and now her video has gone viral.
Congratulations to Anita (I guess, right?) and here’s hoping that Merck Pharmaceuticals has seen the video, created an anti-psychotic drug aptly named for the Twilight franchise, and begins marketing said drug soon. With trials conducted on Anita herself.
All you local Louisiana die-hard Twilight fans can breathe a sigh of relief now – Kristen Stewart is back, bitches, and she’s ready to do some more filming for Breaking Dawn.
Stewart was photographed arriving at New Orleans’ Louis Armstrong International Airport yesterday (on Halloween; ugh, so appropriate) to film some shots for the upcoming Twilight installment. She looked as happy as only Kristen Stewart knows how to convey, and I can’t say I blame her – the Armstrong airport is totally my favorite airport in the US, and it’s probably due to the fact that I’m so comfortable there that I could call it a second home. I’ve probably spent more time in that airport than at any other airport in the States (well, maybe with the exception of the time that I got stranded at the Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati International Airport when a big snowstorm blew through and I was there for forty-eight hours with no shower and no one but the Syracuse U basketball team to talk to. Good times).
Enjoy the photos of happy, shiny Kristen in the gallery below, which also includes some photographs of the star onsite in Louisiana back in September, when she last visited for filming. This should get you through the night, guys.
Even though they totally got caught making out the other day, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are still pretending that they’re not a couple. Are we supposed to believe that they’re two co-stars that are all BFF-status and can’t leave each others sides? Either they want us to believe that they are asexual or that they are the most co-dependent people on Earth. I mean, they work together, they hang together, they take plane rides together… then this morning, just two days after being busted for making out, they walked out of LAX with a body guard between them. Yeah, they’re boning. And we all know it.
OK, so people always call Kristen Stewart a bitch, right? They say she’s aloof and too cool for school and rude in her awkwardness. I don’t think that’s true, you guys. This is what I think it is: Kristen Stewart sucks at talking.
Technically, there’s many worse problems the girl could have. She’s an actress. She doesn’t need to know how to engage people in conversation because when she’s working, someone else is writing the dialogue. But when it comes to press tours and all that, it shows when someone’s not eloquent, and that was the case with this interview I stumbled upon.
Kristen, when asked why she’s not involved with more social networks, says, “I can’t be online because, I have to be online! I’d love to please the fans because of the way they support us, but time is not enough. It wouldn’t be enough the ammount of time I spent online with them.” Those are not the words of a well-spoken woman. It reads as super bitchy (“I don’t have time for that because anything I’d give would never be enough for my rabid fans.”), when I think/hope she means something much more sincere (“I can’t get involved with that stuff because I would never be able to respond to everyone and I don’t want anyone’s feelings to get hurt or be a disappointment.”)
But I’m not saying that she’s dumb, either. In the same interview she refers to music as one of the most “sensitive elements” in her life and has a pretty solid perspective on what fame and success has granted her (“Now people ask me “what’s next? what project are you choosing?”. It’s a privilege having the opportunity to have those questions, even if it’s hard to answer them sometimes. I owe it to Twilight. Fame looks more spectacular from the outside than it does from the inside.”) So what’s her deal? It’s weed. It’s all that weed. Chick’s a total stoner.
Betty White is totally hot right now. Everybody knows that, and the cast of Twilight is no exception. When E! asked them about the possibility of Betty’s popularity crossing over into the vampire flicks, everyone was pretty into that idea.
Robert Pattinson suggested that Betty White play Renesmee, Edward and Bella’s daughter, in Breaking Dawn. Kellan Lutz had a similar thought:
“Oh my gosh, I love Betty. I would love for them to do what they did in Benjamin Button with her and she can be Renesmee. I would change some scenes up so we could have Jacob and Emmet going for her. I want to work with her. That would be so much fun.”
Even Stephenie Meyer said “surely she can fit in somewhere.”
All right, so if this doesn’t happen, I’m not going to be able to trust anyone ever again. I hope you understand how much lies and deceit hurt, Twilight. Don’t fuck this up.
It’s always a good time to poke fun at those crazy Twilight fans, but now I might feel halfway bad about it. There’s an interesting article in the L.A. Times titled “When Twilight fandom becomes an addiction,” and it documents some tales of these addicts.
There’s a 31-year-old accountant who says that she became so obsessed with the books and the movies that she “couldn’t function.” Then there’s a 39-year-old mom who claims to have watched the movies over 300 times each, and she mentions that her six-year-old son resents her obsession. There’s also a 50-year-old woman who said that
“If there is a chemical that’s released when you’re falling in love, your brain has it when you’re reading or watching Twilight. You get that utopic feeling of first love and you want to experience it over and over again.”
She goes on to discuss how Twilight almost destroyed her marriage:
“My husband finally came to me and said, ‘I think you love Twilight more than you love me.’ I ended up moving out of the house and fought for my marriage for six weeks. I had to take a step back and detox myself from Twilight. I was really angry that I had allowed it to suck me in.”
The article says that the woman went “cold turkey” and was able to stop her obsession. There are also statements from a professor of communication studies and a psychologist that call these kinds of stories examples of classic addiction.
This kind of behavior blows my mind. Sure, I’ve read the Twilight books (I’ve even plotted out porn films based on them: Twatlight, New Poon, Eclits, and Breaking Hymen, keep your eye out for those), but I wouldn’t say they caused me to feel that “utopic feeling of first love.” Even Harry Potter, which I was much more obsessed with, and my one true love of all time, David Bowie, never got close to threatening any of my relationships.
Here’s hoping no one gets divorced over Eclipse, I guess.
This is what we’ve been waiting for, you guys. The moment is finally here. Eclipse is happening.
Last night’s LA premiere brought out pretty much anyone who has ever appeared on film or television (yo, Tia and Tamera were there), and there were so many randos and no names on the photo site I downloaded these from that out of 200 photos, only about 20 people pictured were recognizable. So that’s what I gave you. But you can assume that plenty of your favorite Disney Channel Original Movie stars and failed pop singers were there in addition to these recognizable people below.