So Tori Spelling, huh? In the news now, what, twice in a ten days? It’s gotta be some kind of record for girlfriend! Last week you saw photos of a healthy-looking Tori, and even some of you in the comments claimed that she was probably pregnant. Well guess what – ding ding ding! – you were right!
Tori and her husband Dean confirmed through Twitter last night that she is carrying child number three for the couple. It doesn’t come entirely as a surprise, as she’s been photographed wearing baggy dresses for some time now, and actually looks like she’s been drinking water (and what a difference it makes, right?), but congratulations to the family anyway. Even though their reality show sucks, they make cute kids, and come on: who DOESN’T love to look at adorable children?
Remember when Tori Spelling was, like, one of the scary-skinniest celebrities going, and you totally thought that she was going to die from her skinniness at any moment?
Well, thankfully, those days are gone: for the first time in probably years, Tori’s weight seems to have stabilized to the point of being considered ‘healthy,’ and not-at-all-suprisingly, she looks just fine.
I’ve always been a big fan of Tori Spelling AND her role in the original 90210, so I’m glad to see that Tori’s probably going to live to see another few years, if all that business with her cracked-out mother doesn’t kill her first. Because if Donna Martin can’t make it to a 90210 reunion in ten years or so, what the fuck is the point of even HAVING one, you know?
One of the first things that any nutritionist or trainer or dietitian will tell you is that, in order to stay fit, you need to be drinking a ton of water. Staying hydrated and flushing out your system is the only thing that keeps you from holding on to that life-ruining sodium bloat. That’s why I’m so confused after learning that Tori Spelling doesn’t drink water. I remember Victoria Beckham saying something a few years ago about how she only drinks Diet Coke and never, ever water, but she also doesn’t claim that she’s eating-disorder free.
Tori, who has been concerning critics and fans alike with her rail-thin frame for years, recently told Access Hollywood, “I hate water! I’m never thirsty actually. I don’t drink water. I don’t sweat. Isn’t that weird?”
Yes, Tori. That’s very weird. In fact, I’m not even sure how you’re still alive.
Apparently when homegirl does get a case of the thirsties, she turns to a sip of her own homemade sparkling water and that’s only if she “has to.”
Look, I’ve been saying for years that it’s obvious there’s no God because if there was, he’d never make water taste so boring. Tori’s not wrong in that it isn’t necessarily the most tasty beverage, but it’s crucial.
So, seriously: How is it that she’s still alive? Are there other people out there who never drink water who are willing to explain their existence to me?