OMG you guys did you see what I did there? With that headline? Because Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are at Cannes and they’re kissing? Jesus Christ I am so unbelievably funny.

OK really though if this headline prevents just one of you from pronouncing “Cannes” with an ‘s’ sound this week, it will all be worth it.

Eva Longoria’s hubby — who is originally from France — has purchased the second-largest stake of ASVEL, France’s most titled professional basketball team, and he will, he says, begin serving immediately as the club’s Director of Operations. Not too shabby for a 26-year-old.

“Why not, why not?” Parker answered, when asked if playing for the French club itself was in his plans. “When I’m 36, 37 years old, who knows how my NBA will go. Why not play one more farewell year in France afterwards? I’ve raised the subject with Eva, and she has nothing against living in France.”

Parker also described his intention to expand his current Tony Parker Basketball Clinic operations around ASVEL’s home base in Villeurbane, a Lyons suburb, citing another celebrity athlete as model. “I’d like to center them as a training center in Lyons, something like David Beckham’s [soccer program].”

I’m very impressed with Tony’s decisions to expand his empire at a young age and invest in something other than his athletic skill, but I’m also very amused that he thinks he’ll be married to Eva Longoria ten years from now. It seems his long-range planning is strong in some areas and weak in others.

People said they’d never last, but Tony Parker and Eva Longoria Parker were all snuggles and kisses at the New Year’s party she hosted at Beso in LA.

You gotta admit, they’re totally adorable together.

I mean, I guess Tony plays some manner of sport, and maybe he’s still relevant in that context — I wouldn’t know — so if you sports people still want to talk about him, I guess that’s okay with me, but can we just never hear about Eva Longoria again, please? How this woman continues to be relevant baffles me. Desperate Housewives hasn’t been good since what feels like some point during the Reagan administration, her film career never even started (she has one movie coming out in 2007, and its plot is described on IMDB as “a ghost tries to sabotage her former boyfriend’s current relationship with a psychic,” and, if I’m not mistaken, her role in 2008′s Food Fight involves her voicing some manner of anthropomorphic grocery product), and, frankly, I don’t even think she’s that hot. I just don’t understand why we still care about her. There’s still a war on in Iraq. Britain has a new prime minister. We’ve got an election coming up here in the U.S. And, for chrissake, Nicole Richie is pregnant. Don’t we have more important things to talk about than Eva Longoria?

Eva and Tony were legally married in a French civil ceremony today, although the formal ceremony and reception are taking place tomorrow. And after that, please, guys, no more Tony and Eva, okay?