Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tom Cruise

Sofia Vergara Was Almost Katie Holmes

photo of tom cruise and sofia vergara pictures
Here’s an excerpt from Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography, written by Andrew Morton, and guys—it’s pretty heavy stuff. Not that I’m going to pretend to be all-knowing about how authorizing a biography works or whatever, but why would Tom Cruise go ahead and OK this project? I have positively no doubts at all that everything Morton says is true, but it certainly doesn’t paint a very humane or compassionate or even likable picture of Tom Cruise, that’s for damn sure. From Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography:

Top of his wish list of future wives was curvy Colombian-born model, Sofia Vergara, now the star of Modern Family. She was first contacted in Montreal, Canada, where she was shooting the bloody revenge movie, Four Brothers. Cruise’s fellow Scientologist Will Smith sent her an invitation asking her to join him at the pre-Oscar party he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were hosting in February 2005 in Los Angeles. She had never met the Smiths but was intrigued and went along.

The next day the remorsely romantic star sent her flowers, notes and chocolates. She even read some of his gushing text messages to her pals. Vergara, at 5ft 7ins and as tall as her beau, played it cool. After all the actress voted one of the world’s sexiest women by FHM magazine had dated any number of eligible bachelors including Mark Wahlberg.

Cruise continued his charm offensive inviting her and her son, Manolo, to play with his two adopted children, Connor and Isabel. It was not long before Cruise casually suggested that Vergara join him on a trip to Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. There she met Cruise’s good friend, David Miscavige, the head of the controversial organization founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Vergara, raised a strict Catholic, was given Scientology literature and encouraged to bring her mother Margarita along for her next visit.

Cruise was keen, only leaving her side when she had to return to Montreal to finish filming. Although they had only known each other for a matter of weeks, the relationship had become so intense that marriage looked the next logical step. One friend told me: “She met his children, there was no doubt he was auditioning her for the part of his wife. If she had been interested she would today be the next Mrs. Cruise.Was it going to go further? No doubt about it. He wanted to marry her – that was the idea.” Cruise had found a feisty, athletic adventurous mother who could provide him with what he craved – a child of his own.

As affectionate and attentive as Cruise was, Vergara found the world of Scientology cloying and suffocating. She felt she was being followed or watched and that her phone calls were being monitored. It was as if Cruise and Scientology were trying to take over her life.

At some point, it was made clear that if their relationship was going to end in wedding bells she had to renounce her Catholic faith and join an organization that believes in immortality. “She was fundamentally terrified by Scientology,” recalls a friend. “She sincerely believed that she would be struck down by God and burn in hell if she joined. That is what she said.”

Sassy, street smart and obstinate, Vergara, who had survived thyroid cancer, proved immune to Cruise’s charm. “She had plenty of opportunity to hitch her wagon to Hollywood and to Tom,” recalls a friend. “She was not swayed by that.” On an Easter weekend in 2005, the couple had arranged to go to Clearwater, Fla. Scientology headquarters. Instead she stood him up, packed a bag and “headed for the hills.”

Even as the blooms on the flowers sent to Vergara by Cruise were fading, he was romancing a wholesome wide-eyed girl from America’s heartland, ex-Dawson’s Creek star Holmes. Vergara recognized her own narrow escape when she saw the TomKat show on television. Unlike Vergara, Holmes signed up for Scientology before Cruise even asked the question. “Sofia pitied the poor girl,” recalls a friend. “Katie is a much weaker more innocent person than Sofia.”

So wait. Can we really imagine a dead-eyed Sofia Vergara? Come on. Wouldn’t happen. Tom Cruise should feel lucky that he “escaped” Sofia, because his ass would be dead if he tried to pull half the crap he’s pulled on Katie, on Sofia. Matter of fact, it’s a shame things didn’t work out between the two of them. Then we wouldn’t have someone like Tom Cruise playing someone like Jack Reacher.

Katie Holmes Was Never That Into The Whole Scientology Thing

A photo of Katie Holmes

As of right now, I don’t know all that much about Scientology. Basically, I know about the things that South Park has made fun of and the things that are mentioned in passing in gossips about Tom Cruise. I know the basics of Xenu and auditing and thetans, but that’s about it. However, that’s more than enough to realize that the whole thing is f-cking crazy.

And thankfully, it looks like Katie Holmes realized that exact same thing years ago:

Katie Holmes was always “careful” with what she said and never revealed too much during Scientology auditing sessions that she partook in during her time with Tom Cruise, is exclusively reporting.

“Katie wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information during her Scientology audit/confessions,” a source close to the situation tells “Katie’s father, Martin, advised her to be careful with what she said during these sessions so that nothing negative could get leaked to the press or be used to make her look bad.

“Look, Katie led a very ordinary and honest life before she met Tom and tried to continue to do so during the time she was with him. Katie is level headed and extremely smart. She was never completely committed to Scientology, but she participated because she truly was in love with Tom and she knew it meant a lot to him. Her heart just wasn’t in it though, she was always guarded and careful during the auditing sessions with what she revealed.”

As we previously reported, Katie Holmes’ family has been getting information for years on “the iron grip” that Scientology has on Cruise’s personal and business life, ex-high ranking Scientologist Marty Rathbun told in an exclusive interview. “I did audit sessions with Tom Cruise from 2001-2004 and I can tell you that I have a friend that has been providing Katie Holmes’ family information for years with information about the iron grip the Church of Scientology has on Tom Cruise’s family and professional life. This has been going on for at least four years,” he said.

The audit sessions with Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were ALWAYS either audiotaped or videotaped, according to Rathbun. “Yes, the sessions were either audiotaped or videotaped, and those remain with the Church of Scientology. The Church definitely would have wanted to know Katie’s every thought,” Rathbun tells exclusively.

According to church literature, “Auditing is a central practice in Scientology through which a practitioner is cleared of negative influences known as engrams in order to heighten spiritual awareness and access currently untapped potential. Auditing sessions involve two people: the person being audited and an auditor. The person being audited is generally referred to as a pre-Clear in public Scientology literature, although Clears continue to participate in a similar process. The auditor monitors a device known as an electro-psychometer, or E-meter. The pre-Clear holds a metal cylinder in each hand, both of which are attached by wires to the E-meter.”

It seems like Katie’s reluctance to divulge information to the church will do her some good, as will the fact that Katie’s parents have information about Tom’s involvement with Scientology. In a perfect world, Tom will get scared of having that information leaked and let Katie have sole custody of Suri, but obviously we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in a world where Jerry Maguire is part of a terrifying cult that wants to sign his six-year-old daughter up for a billion (literal) years of servitude to Xenu or the Galactic Confederacy or whatever. Honestly, the whole “history” of Scientology reads like a really bad sci fi novel, and it makes it kind of hard to follow.

Either way, Team Katie. Team Katie for life.

Katie Holmes Means Business

A photo of Katie Holmes and Suri

I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I can’t wait for the movie version of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise divorce. It would be an amazing movie, wouldn’t it? It could be on Lifetime by October, and Lindsay could be the star. Amazing.

While you guys think about the casting (Snooki as Suri?), let me fill you in with some more divorce developments. A lot has happened today, so let’s just do a quick breakdown, all right?

- Katie isn’t wearing her wedding ring anymore. Expect Tom to be photographed in the coming days with no ring and yellow fingernail polish.

- Katie is still working: she filmed a guest appearance on Project Runway: All Stars today, as planned. She was said to be “engaged, articulate, and wonderful.”

- Continuing with the “taking care of business” theme, Katie has fired her bodyguard, her driver, and her publicist because they were all “too close” to Tom and it was unclear whether or not they were Scientologists. She was seen today with five or six brand new bodyguards and a brand new driver, and she rehired her old publicist that she had before she met Tom.

- Apparently Katie knew that she wanted out last year, according to the divorce papers. Tom had no idea, so I guess that means that Katie was quietly plotting her escape all this time.

- Katie wants sole custody of Suri so that Tom can’t get her started on the “Scientology indoctrination process,” which sounds super chill and not at all terrifying. She’s not thrilled with how Tom’s older kids turned out, and she wants Suri to have a normal life. Good luck, girl.

Katie Holmes “Secretly Plotted” Her Escape for Months

photo of tom cruise pictures crazy scary face pics
And this doesn’t surprise me one bit. Can you imagine the good amount of acting it probably took to keep up appearances and make it look like all was well in the “I love you Tom Cruise” front? Because ugh. Girl’s probably got ulcers from the amount of gut it took to stand this bullshit for so long.

New reports are emerging, saying that Katie had a master plan for the last few months, which included continuing the charade in being the regular Robo-Kate that Tom was so accustomed to. Funny thing is, though, that Katie actually knew for awhile that things were not as she’d hoped they’d be. A source says that Katie felt like she was in a movie about a baby and a satanic cult a la ‘Rosemary’s Baby’:

“Every move she made and everything she did was controlled . . . She felt like she was in Rosemary’s Baby,” says one insider, referring to the classic 1968 horror film, in which an aspiring young actress (Mia Farrow) unwittingly bears a child for her husband’s Satanic cult.

The source continues by saying that Katie knew she had to get out because of Suri:

“This is about protecting her daughter,” the insider explains to Us. “She wants to be in charge of how Suri is being raised and didn’t want her to have an exclusively Scientology education.” The first source puts it more bluntly: “She felt she had to get out to save her daughter.”

Also, we’re hearing that the Church of Scientology aren’t the ones who’ve been following Katie lately, but you know what that means (it means that they’re definitely the ones who’ve been following Katie lately).

Also, here’s the first photo of Katie Holmes since filing for divorce last week, and GUYS. Doesn’t she just look great?

photo of katie holmes tmz pictures first pic
Image courtesy of TMZ

Tom Cruise’s New Movie Trailer for ‘Jack Reacher’, Because Why Not?

*Note: the trailer’s in Russian, so if you don’t speak it? Well. I guess you’re out of luck until something more palatable emerges.

In Tom Cruise‘s first international film, he portrays Jack Reacher (which is the film’s title, too).

From IMDB:

A homicide investigator digs deeper into a case involving a trained military sniper who shot five random victims. Based on a book in Lee Child’s crime series.

If you’re unfamiliar with the series (which I was, ’til I did a little digging), here’s my own personal summary of Tom’s character, Jack Reacher, after intensive reading. Ready, set, go!

Jack Reacher is a former member of the US military police, and comes with a long trail of military accolades. He’s a loner and doesn’t have many friends since leaving the force. Reacher is a man of few words, which probably lends itself to the fact that he doesn’t have many friends. He possesses uncanny ESP-like skills (oh my God, I can’t even) and thrives on caffeine. He’s a bomb-ass fighter who hates confrontation, but his ability to inflict pain upon others is enormous, all of which rendering him remorseless. He’s belligerent when it comes to the notion of Christianity and looks at it with distaste and disbelief. Jack Reacher is, in the series, a massive man at 6’5″ and uses his physical influence to thwart baddies at every turn.

Oh I could die. Tom Cruise probably killed people for this part. And the bit about Jack Reacher being a “giant” at 6’5″? What the hell were they thinking, casting one of Hollywood’s shortest actors in the role? Is Tom going to wear 12″ lifts in his shoes? Will this character be portrayed as a Spice Girl-Jack Reacher hybrid? Because LOL, right?

Is Katie Holmes Being Followed?

A photo of Katie Holmes

Well, of course Katie Holmes is being followed right now. Can you imagine what the paparazzi situation is like? It seems like everyone is obsessing over this story – I even saw some super masculine, “gossip is for bitches, let’s go play ultimate frisbee” bros discussing the divorce on Facebook over the weekend. As I was reading through some stories this morning, I saw article after article about Katie and Tom. It’s a big deal. It’s only natural that the media is following her around sometimes.

But that’s not what this is about. No, apparently some dedicated Scientologists are tailing Katie. Which doesn’t sound terrifying at all:

Katie Holmes believes Scientology now views her as a threat to the organization and has put a team on her tail … sources close to the actress tell TMZ.

We’re told Katie believes in recent weeks — as the discord between her and Tom Cruisegrew — Scientology has been following her moves, especially in New York City.

This does not appear to be the mind of a paranoid person. People who have photographed Katie multiple times tell TMZ there have been several “mysterious” men and vehicles around Katie’s apartment and following her when she’s out.

Specifically … a white Cadillac Escalade and black Mercedes SUV have been seen near Katie’s NYC apartment for the past week.

FYI — there is a publication that has put a tail on Katie, but the people doing that are separate from the people Katie believes have been dispatched from Scientology.

It is unclear if the two vehicles that have been constantly spotted near Holmes’ pad are from Scientology or from the publication.

If Katie is able to keep the divorce in New York — where courts generally like to award sole legal custody to one parent or the other when there is conflict — proof that she’s being tailed could help her case.

The Church of Scientology, meanwhile, says that they’re totally not even doing that:

The Church of Scientology has responded to TMZ’s story … that Katie Holmes believes she is being followed by the Church — they say it ain’t so.

Gary Soter, lawyer for the Church, tells TMZ … the Church of Scientology is not following Katie or conducting surveillance on her in the wake of her divorce with Tom Cruise.

As we previously reported, several vehicles have been on Katie’s tail in recent weeks, but again the lawyer says the Church is not behind it.

Oh, ok! Sounds totally legit! I’ll definitely believe whatever you have to say, Scientologists, because you’ve proven yourself to be totally legit and not at all crazy time and time again! Thanks for clearing this up!

Haha, but seriously, can we get Katie Holmes on some sort of buddy system?

PHOTOS: Katie and Tom Through the Years

photo of tom cruise and katie holmes old pictures through the years pic
Yes, yes, I know—and it’s because I’M OBSESSED.

Here’s a gallery of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise in happier times, if you can ever believe that Katie was able to be brainwashed into being happy with this asshat.

Also, in recently-developing news, Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri have moved out of the apartment they shared with Tom in New York City and into an apartment of their own. Things are apparently moving fast, and I have a sneaking suspicion that we’re going to hear a lot more in the coming days, so whee!

For now, enjoy looking through photos of Katie looking progressively miserable!