Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tom Cruise

Here’s Another Lady Who’s Not Afraid of Tom Cruise

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So this is the after photo of Tom Cruise’s latest date, on which he took this lady—who is not the lady he took out earlier in the week—to the Ivy in London, where he reportedly dined with Touched by an Angel actress, Roma Downey, and her husband.

The last woman? Was reportedly dumped for dressing poorly whilst in the presence of Tom Cruise, although if you ask from whence the source cometh, I’d have to say … well, me. This lady is similar in physical features to the other unnamed woman—brunette, and not in her twenties by a stretch—though this lady has infinitely superior fashion sense. Which isn’t saying a lot in comparison to animal-print woman.

All I know is that if Tom’s tripping the lights fantastic with brunettes who are not his ex-wife in an attempt to make his ex-wife jealous, I highly, highly doubt that it’s working. I mean, Katie’s probably already moved  back on to James Van Der Beek anyway.

**Update: The lady in the above photo actually is Roma Downey, I think. It would appear that the photo agency mislabeled the photo, but there is confirmation that the woman Tom was out with on a date is brunette and was … well, there.

Is Tom Cruise on a Date?

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I would assume the answer is “No, absolutely not, Tom Cruise is not on a date and you wanna know why? Because Tom Cruise’s people would never let Tom Cruise date a woman who might happen to be close to his own age and who might have a wrinkle or two here or there, and also, Tom Cruise‘s people wouldn’t allow Tom Cruise to date someone who wore leopard or cheetah print and had really bad fashion sense in general.” No way. This lady’s got to be a Scientology auditor or something, for sure.

Yes, that’s a long answer, but it’s the most thorough one I can come up with, and when it comes to Tom Cruise, being thorough is key.

But regardless, yes, Tom Cruise was photographed while hanging out with this woman in the wee hours of the morning at London restaurant, Mayfair, at 2:30 AM. According to the Daily Mail, Tom and his friend were seen trying to find another club to hit up after Mayfair closed:

After leaving the restaurant, the couple were spotted trying to find a nightclub to continue their night. However, things didn’t go well for the pair, as their first stop of Boujis club was closed for refurbishment, before they were denied entry to celebrity favourite Annabel’s because it was nearing closing time.

The unnamed companion was even driving Tom around like she was some sort of star-struck chauffeur, occasionally turning her head to look back at her passenger while smiling a shit-eating grin and trying to play coy for the cameras.

Anyway, friends, lovers, babysitter … who knows—I’m just amazed that Scientology allowed Tom to hang out with this woman’s outfit in public. That’s probably the most shocking thing about all of this.

Quotables: Kirstie Alley Defends Tom Cruise (Probably Because She’s a Scientologist, Too)

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“I think whenever you have articles written that are third and fourth parties’ opinions – it’s like the game Gossip and you don’t get the truth – I think that a magazine of that caliber should have interviewed him, and then they would get the truth. I think that probably all religions sound bizarre to the people who are not the practitioners of them. … To me it’s so normal, and probably 90% of the crazy stuff I hear isn’t true.”

Kirstie Alley on the controversial Vanity Fair piece that outed Tom Cruise as nothing more than a highly-controlled robot who has no say in any major decisions of his life.

To be fair, Maureen Orth, the woman who conducted and compiled all of the Vanity Fair interviews and composed the article as a whole, persistently attempted to get Tom’s side of the story for the piece, but was denied each and every time, so, no, Kirstie Alley, there are not “third and fourth” parties involved here that the magazine would have preferred to interview instead of Tom, it’s because CRAZY SCIENTOLOGY doesn’t allow Tom to speak for himself or for anyone else that he may or may not care about.

Jeez Louise.

Is It Time to Feel a Little Sorry for Tom Cruise Yet?

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Our friends at Bohomoth have brought up a pretty interesting point—that Tom Cruise isn’t exactly the mastermind of psychosis that we’ve come to know in the past decade, and that he’s just a puppet in the grand scheme of things, a gigantic, shiny, talking head for the Scientology cause.

From Bohomoth:

I’ve started to feel really sorry for him lately. He’s been floating around Europe looking ever skinnier and that worries me, because when Scientologists are going through heavy-duty auditing, they live on a diet of brown rice and beans and run on a treadmill for hours every day.

The rest of the time they sit around holding tin cans (I’m not making this up, they’re just all so brainwashed they are beyond thinking anything of it all by this time) and answering prying questions fired at them from an auditor.

He looks like a broken shadow of a man, doesn’t he? But not nearly as fragile as he would be IF he knew what was going on around him and in the big wide world.

Apparently, a prominent former high-ranking Scientologist tells Bohomoth, his internet is restricted, so Tom’s pretty much unaware of the raft of negative publicity currently drowning Scientology.

The control they have over him is that extensive.

Now several high-ranking Scientologists have left, (another two left just yesterday) they’re all supporting each other and all agree that the real villain is David Miscavige, not his PR puppet and prize winner of new recruits Cruise.

And, they agree that he’s pretty much holding and controlling Tom against his free will.

Many of them still practice Scientology as a religion described by L. Ron Hubbard, but want nothing to do with the cult as run by David Miscavige saying the abuse of basic and not so basic human rights have become insupportable.

And, they’re all openly telling Tom to let the scales fall from his eyes regarding to Miscavige and LEAVE Scientology and have been doing so for three years now.

Boho makes really, really good points, and the human rights-lover in me says that there’s probably a lot that’s spot-on with all of this weird Scientology-manipulation that’s going on. However, I don’t think Tom is as lily-white as some people do. No, because Tom Cruise has spent decades upon decades cultivating his “perfect” public image, and wouldn’t allow anything—even the Church of Scientology—to move in on that and taint it in any way. Remember Rob Lowe’s book? How he talked about how mechanically poised Tom was, even back in the eighties? Here’s an excerpt:

“He’s open, friendly, funny, and has an almost robotic, bloodless focus and an intensity that I’ve never encountered before.” In New York for the second round of auditions, Lowe finds that Cruise is “already showing traits that will make him famous; he’s zeroed in like a laser.” “We check into the Plaza Hotel. I am taken aback at the luxury and spectacle of the lobby…. The front desk tells us we will be sharing rooms,” Lowe writes of the actors’ arrival in the Big Apple. “In a flash, Cruise is on the phone to his agent, Paula Wagner. ‘Paula, they are making us share,’ he says…. The rest of us are staggering around like happy goofs….. ‘O.K., then. Thank you very much,’ he says like a 50-year-old businessman getting off the phone with his stockbroker. ‘Paula says it’s fine.’”

And you know what? I think that Tom probably has that same kind of obedience to anything that’s going to point him in the right direction and make him look “good” in the public’s perception. No, I think that everything Tom does, whether it’s prompted by the CoS or his PR team (undoubtedly appointed by the CoS) or even his own sense of what’s best, is calculated to the point of 99.999% accuracy in achieving admiration in one way or another.

I guess, in short, yeah. Maybe we should feel a little sorry for poor, “manipulated” Tom Cruise. But not that sorry.

Another Day in Stupid Lindsay Lohan Tweets

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So remember how we were talking about Tom Cruise and his weird Scientology wife-auditioning thing that he did a few years back when Katie Holmes won her round-trip ticket to Crazyville? Well Lindsay Lohan‘s throwing her hat into the ring on this one, and making statements in Tom‘s defense (sort of). From Lindsay’s Twitter, in response to that Vanity Fair article:

I just want everyone & @TomCruise to know, that I have/had NO part in the VF story.. Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related.

ROFLCOPTER! OMG! … And wait. “Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related”? In what world is that good grammar? Forget it.

You know, what Lindsay’s doing here, guys, is trying to make herself appear more relevant than she actually is (surprise, surprise). Because while there were rumors that Lindsay was on Tom’s shortlist a few years ago for bridal material, Scientology sources came out and nixed that, revealing the “official” list, which included Scarlett Johansson, Erica Christensen, Sofia Milos, Jennifer Garner, and Jessica Alba. Please note that the name “Lindsay Lohan” was nowhere on that list, because come on. Even Tom Cruise has f-cking standards, as batshit crazy as he is.

And speaking of standards, Tom wanted the lovely Nazanin Boniadi to get rid of her braces and highlights, so can you just imagine the veritable laundry list that Lindsay Lohan would have to take care of in order to even be considered for general candidacy? Meth, fleas, lesions, and crack teeth, just to name a few, but doubtless there’s a zillion other things the higher-ups in the Church of Scientology could probably whip out and slap Lindsay in the face with like a flaccid penis, desperate for one last hurrah.

All I know is that you’re definitely in a bad way (AHEM TOM CRUISE) when Lindsay Lohan starts throwing your name around the Twitterverse. Sheesh.

Tom Cruise is Officially Bizarre and Creepy and Should Probably Not Be Allowed Around Women Anymore

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Oh, we didn’t already come to that conclusion even after we heard about the Sofia Vergara debacle? My bad. Guess I should have been paying better attention to all of the NUTS coming out of his mouth in previous years.

In the latest bunch of NUTS, Vanity Fair has a pretty in-depth article detailing Tom Cruise‘s once-alleged and now-true story of potential wife-wrangling, which apparently includes plenty of lady makeovers, PR training, and “Are you famous enough” questions courtesy of Tom and his Scientology crew. From Vanity Fair:

In the October issue, Vanity Fair special correspondent Maureen Orth reports that in 2004 Scientology embarked on a top-secret project headed by Shelly Miscavige, wife of Scientology chief David Miscavige, which involved finding a girlfriend for Tom Cruise. According to several sources, the organization devised an elaborate auditioning process in which actresses who were already Scientology members were called in, told they were auditioning for a new training film, and then asked a series of curious questions including: “What do you think of Tom Cruise?”

Because of course, Tom Cruise is Scientology, after all.

The feature goes on to discuss a young woman by the name of Nazanin Boniadi, a woman who just wasn’t good enough for Tom and his wily ways:

Nazanin Boniadi, an Iranian-born, London-raised actress and Scientologist, was selected and dated Cruise from November 2004 until January 2005. Initially she was told only that she had been selected for a very important mission. In a month-long preparation in October 2004, she was audited every day, a process in which she told a high-ranking Scientology official her innermost secrets and every detail of her sex life. Boniadi allegedly was told to lose her braces, her red highlights, and her boyfriend. According to a knowledgeable source, she was shown confidential auditing files of her boyfriend to expedite a breakup. (Scientology denies any misuse of confidential material.) The source says Boniadi signed a confidentiality agreement and was told that if she “messed up” in any way she would be declared a Suppressive Person (a pariah and enemy of Scientology).

Tough stuff, right? It gets better:

… In November 2004 Boniadi was flown to New York, where she met Cruise. That’s when she first sensed that this was possibly going to be an arranged marriage. For their first date Cruise and Boniadi went to dinner at Nobu with an entourage of Scientology aides, then to the skating rink at Rockefeller Center, which was closed to the public especially for them. The two spent that first night together but, according to several sources, they did not have sex. At the Trump Tower, where Cruise and the entourage had rented an entire floor, Cruise purportedly told Boniadi, “I’ve never felt this way before.”

Of course he hadn’t. I mean, once Boniadi lost the braces (and the boyfriend!), girlfriend was probably quite the catch, huh? After a while of dating, however (keeping in mind that the two dated from November to January … which, by my best estimate, is just two whole months), Boniadi couldn’t take Tom’s over-the-top ways and weird Scientology schtick:

Boniadi was in love with Cruise, but the intensity of his affection, especially his predilection for public displays, overwhelmed her. “I get more love from an extra than I get from you,” the actor reportedly complained. Every day Boniadi spent two to three hours purging herself of “negative thoughts about Tom.” She felt completely shut off; her only source of money was a credit card issued in the name of Cruise’s production company.

During this time, the woman was said to move in with Tom, and shortly after, the affair fizzled out because she just wasn’t compliant enough, nor was she famous enough:

By the third week in January, she was asked to move into Scientology’s Celebrity Centre. Boniadi was told that Cruise “wants someone with her own power—like Nicole.” When she asked why Cruise would not break up with her himself, she was told he was not to be disturbed. A Scientology official allegedly told her, by way of explanation, “Naz, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

Meaning that Tom just wasn’t happy enough with his latest victim. I totally get it. After the relationship died out, Nazanin was punished severely for discussing her brief relationship, and was forced to clean bathroom floors with toothbrushes and acid, among other inhumane things:

Boniadi’s punishment was to scrub toilets with a toothbrush, clean bathroom tiles with acid, and dig ditches in the middle of the night. After that she was sent out to sell Scentology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics

Needless to say, Nazanin and the rest of her family are no longer affiliated with the Church of Scientology, and have pretty much dropped into a hole in the desert off their radar.

If you’re curious, this is Nazanin now:

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Your loss, Tom. … No, seriously—your loss only. F-cking creeper.

Report: Katie Holmes Got Exactly What She Wanted From Tom Cruise Divorce

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… Which is to say, absolutely nothing. Seriously—nada.

Katie and Tom’s divorce has been finalized, and the details are as follows: Tom will pay monthly child support to Katie (who has full physical custody of Suri) to the tune of $33,333.33 per month until Suri’s 18, and in addition, Tom is responsible for paying all of Suri’s erroneous costs, such as medical, dental, educational, and extra-curricular activity costs.

As for Katie? Yeah, she walked away from being pampered on the regular and rolling in millions and millions of her husband’s dollars, but she gained the best thing she possibly could—freedom from crazy Tom Cruise. Hell, I’d go for broke, too.

In related Katie news, girlfriend’s already returned to the theater scene. From Us Weekly:

Despite her casual attire, Katie Holmes’ performance during a reading of the play One Day When We Were Young was anything but nonchalant.

According to theatergoers present at the surprise, top-secret showing in Williamstown, Mass. Aug. 17, Holmes — clad in jeans, a basic white top and a ponytail — brought her A-game opposite British actor Jeremy Strong. “She capably delivered,” one eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “She was very focused on the piece.”

In fact, “If her part in the reading is an indication, I would say she’s eager to get back to acting,” the witness adds of Tom Cruise’s ex.

I’m so, so glad, Katie. Seriously, do anything right now. Do Geico commercials, I don’t even care. Just get back up on that horse and maybe—maybe!—even do some more talking about that Dawson’s Creek reunion. I’m halfway through Season 3 and going strong. This is some high-quality, good stuff, and I can’t wait to see even more.

Go, girl!