Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tina Fey

A New Job for Lindsay Lohan?

photo of mean girls pictures, photos
LOL, No, sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up, but there is something brewing with Tina Fey and ‘Mean Girls’, and it’s probably not going to involve Lindsay Lohan.

In a recent interview with E! Online, Tina Fey claims that she’d love to bring ‘Mean Girls’ to Broadway, and what’s more, she wants to drag Mariah Carey into the fold.

From E!:

“Maybe! We want to. I would love to,” Tina Fey told E! News on the red carpet at the SAG Awards. “I’m trying to develop it with my husband, who does all the music for 30 Rock and I think Paramount’s onboard.”

Grool! And Tina already has one musician in mind to take on one of the now-iconic parts: Mariah Carey.

“I loved it!” Tina gushed when asked about the recent American Idol fight between Mariah and fellow judge Nicki Minaj over Mean Girls. “And I think Mariah won. Like, Mariah seemed to really know all the characters.”

During the spat, Ms. Carey was adamant that she was no Regina George and Tina agrees: “Maybe she can play Amy Poehler’s part in the musical.”

Uh, yes please. We can totally see Mariah dolled up in a pink suede jump suit. She is a cool mom, after all. And perhaps Tommy Lee Jones can play her put-upon husband, what with the grumpy face he showcased at the Golden Globes.

“Every time we came out I felt like, not only was Tommy Lee Jones looking at me, but looking at me like he was so mad at me,” Fey recalled. “But I think that might just be his face.”

No word on if Lindsay wants to claim the Regina George role, because there’s no way in hell she could pull off the innocent, sweet part of Cady Heron in a reprisal. It just won’t happen.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey Are Hosting the Golden Globes, So Here’s a Promo

If you guys didn’t already know, Tina and Amy are hosting this year’s Golden Globe Awards, a show that’s been doing it’s thing for seventy seasons, and while the promo isn’t exactly the greatest, I’m completely on board with Amy and Tina being chosen as this year’s hosts. I think there’s some pretty funny shit in store for us to behold.

Here’s a list of nominees, by the way—my personal selections are in bold:

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. ARGO
b. DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. LIFE OF PI
d. LINCOLN
e. ZERO DARK THIRTY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Jessica Chastain, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Marion Cotillard, RUST AND BONE
c. Helen Mirren, HITCHCOCK
d. Naomi Watts, THE IMPOSSIBLE
e. Rachel Weisz, THE DEEP BLUE SEA

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
a. Daniel Day-Lewis, LINCOLN
b. Richard Gere, ARBITRAGE
c. John Hawkes, THE SESSIONS
d. Joaquin Phoenix, THE MASTER
e. Denzel Washington, FLIGHT

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL ?
b. LES MISERABLES
c. MOONRISE KINGDOM
d. SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Emily Blunt, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
b. Judi Dench, THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL
c. Jennifer Lawrence, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Maggie Smith, QUARTET
e. Meryl Streep, HOPE SPRINGS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Jack Black, BERNIE
b. Bradley Cooper, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
c. Hugh Jackman, LES MISERABLES
d. Ewan McGregor, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
e. Bill Murray, HYDE PARK ON HUDSON

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
a. BRAVE
b. FRANKENWEENIE
c. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA
d. RISE OF THE GUARDIANS
e. WRECK-IT RALPH

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
a. AMOUR (AUSTRIA)
b. A ROYAL AFFAIR (DENMARK)
c. THE INTOUCHABLES (FRANCE)
d. KON-TIKI (NORWAY/UK/DENMARK)
e. RUST AND BONE (FRANCE)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Amy Adams, THE MASTER
b. Sally Field, LINCOLN
c. Anne Hathaway, LES MISERABLES
d. Helen Hunt, THE SESSIONS
e. Nicole Kidman, THE PAPERBOY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. Alan Arkin, ARGO
b. Leonardo DiCaprio, DJANGO UNCHAINED
c. Philip Seymour Hoffman, THE MASTER
d. Tommy Lee Jones, LINCOLN
e. Christoph Waltz, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
a. Ben Affleck, ARGO
b. Kathryn Bigelow, ZERO DARK THIRTY
c. Ang Lee, LIFE OF PI
d. Steven Spielberg, LINCOLN
e. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED

BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mark Boal, ZERO DARK THIRTY
b. Tony Kushner, LINCOLN
c. David O. Russell, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
d. Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED
e. Chris Terrio, ARGO

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
a. Mychael Danna, LIFE OF PI
b. Alexandre Desplat, ARGO
c. Dario Marianelli, ANNA KARENINA
d. Tom Tykwer, CLOUD ATLAS
e. John Williams, LINCOLN

BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
a. “FOR YOU” — ACT OF VALOR
b. “NOT RUNNING ANYMORE”—STAND UP GUYS
c. “SAFE & SOUND” — THE HUNGER GAMES
d. “SKYFALL”—SKYFALL
e. “SUDDENLY” — LES MISERABLES

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. BREAKING BAD
b. BOARDWALK EMPIRE
c. DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
d. HOMELAND
e. THE NEWSROOM

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Connie Britton, NASHVILLE
b. Glenn Close, DAMAGES
c. Claire Danes, HOMELAND
d. Michelle Dockery, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Julianna Margulies, THE GOOD WIFE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
a. Steve Buscemi, BOARDWALK EMPIRE
b. Bryan Cranston, BREAKING BAD
c. Jeff Daniels, THE NEWSROOM
d. Jon Hamm, MAD MEN
e. Damian Lewis, HOMELAND

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. THE BIG BANG THEORY
b. EPISODES
c. GIRLS
d. MODERN FAMILY
e. SMASH

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Zooey Deshanel, NEW GIRL
b. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, VEEP
c. Lena Dunham, GIRLS
d. Tina Fey, 30 ROCK
e. Amy Poehler, PARKS AND RECREATION

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
a. Alec Baldwin, 30 ROCK
b. Don Cheadle, HOUSE OF LIES
c. Louis C.K., LOUIE
d. Matt LeBlanc, EPISODES
e. Jim Parsons, THE BIG BANG THEORY

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. GAME CHANGE
b. THE GIRL
c. HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
d. THE HOUR
e. POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Nicole Kidman, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN
b. Jessica Lange, AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM
c. Sienna Miller, THE GIRL
d. Julianne Moore, GAME CHANGE
e. Sigourney Weaver, POLITICAL ANIMALS

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Kevin Costner, HATFIELDS & MCCOYS
b. Benedict Cumberbatch, SHERLOCK (MASTERPIECE)
c. Woody Harrelson, GAME CHANGE
d. Toby Jones, THE GIRL
e. Clive Owen, HEMINGWAY & GELLHORN

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Hayden Panettiere, NASHVILLE
b. Archie Panjabi, THE GOOD WIFE
c. Sarah Paulson, GAME CHANGE
d. Maggie Smith, DOWNTON ABBEY: SEASON 2
e. Sofia Vergara, MODERN FAMILY

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
a. Max Greenfield, NEW GIRL
b. Ed Harris, GAME CHANGE
c. Danny Huston, MAGIC CITY
d. Mandy Patinkin, HOMELAND
e. Eric Stonestreet, MODERN FAMILY

Go ahead—talk amongst yourselves.

Quotables: Tina Fey’s Yearbook Quote

photo of tina fey 30 rock pictures photos

“I had a good one. We had to fill in the blank: ‘Five years from now I will be…’ and mine was ‘very, very fat.’ I figured if I’m not, then it’s like, ‘You’re not!’ And if I am, I’m like, ‘I know – I called it!’”

Gotta love that Tina Fey lady. She’s always telling it like it is, with spot-on quips for every occasion. That’s probably why she’s paid the big bucks to be funny at the drop of a hat, while others (ahem, like myself) sit behind the computer screen for hours at a time trying to come up with “witty” that at least 2% of the people who read get a smirk or a chuckle (don’t tell me I don’t set the bar high, guys) out of it.

But back to the yearbook thing, which I’m completely loving, all “wit” aside, I was a real big hippie-type in high school. You know what my yearbook quote was? An excerpt from Pink Floyd’s ‘Breathe’:

“Look around and choose your own ground. Long you live and high you fly; smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.”

Deep, right? I know. And for all of you out there who have no idea what I’m on about with this Pink Floyd thing, here’s the song, which, to this day, remains one of my all-time favorites:

See what you’re missing (if you’ve somehow missed it)?