You guys know – you guys know – how much Lea Michelle generally unnerves me and doesn’t do a whole lot that I think is talk-worthy or even think-worthy, but when push comes to shove and it’s time to give credit where credit is due, I have to begrudgingly admit that Lea Michele was, by far, the best dressed at the 2012 Screen Actors Guild Awards. Best. The dress is a perfect cut for her, the shoes are totally enviable (if they just … fit her a little bit better), and the hair is the ultimate compliment to the tightly-bound dress. The accessories topped it all off. I couldn’t have chosen a better look if I even knew what I was talking about. Really.

Other honorable mentions of the evening include Jessica Lange, who, at 62, blows away 95% of the fashion competition with her sparkly black dress and understated makeup (though she definitely could have left the black satin clogs or whatever they are in the back of her closet where they belong); Kaley Cuoco, who, I wasn’t sure at first whether or not I loved or hated the dress because it kind of reminded me of an exotic bird of prey, but I then succumbed to the general awesomeness that is all soft and tissue-like and pretty; Tilda Swinton, who could wear a black garbage bag (with yellow ties) and still look sophisticated and untouchable and never, ever dated; and Sofia Vergara, who should almost always be at the top of every awards ceremony ‘best dressed’ list just because of that body. And her choice of color, I suppose, too.

Who takes the best?

I know, I know. I keep talking about Tilda. “We need to talk about Tilda.” (I think I cover Tilda with the frequency and fervor I ordinarily reserve for Neil Patrick Harris.)

But Tilda gives a good interview—although, to be sure, sometimes her quotes can come off as icy or brittle. But in taped interviews, her sense of humor—about filmmaking and parenthood both—really shines. She is eccentric but not spastic, and she is very, very gracious.

“I try and steer clear of anyone who has an opinion, really,” Swinton tells Jon Stewart in a recent episode of The Daily Show. She says this very wryly, and she is laughing, but she isn’t really kidding.

She cops to exerting a certain amount of creative control on all the film projects she funds. But wouldn’t she like to direct? “No. No, no, no. No. No, no, no. No.” (I didn’t count how many times she said “No” in a row, actually, but there were several of them.)

“So that’s a ‘maybe,’” Stewart replies.

“I’m too lazy, by far,” she tells him. The audience laughs. “No, really,” she says.

“So you produce [We Need to Talk About Kevin], you act in the movie, but directing, that is where you draw the line,” Stewart says.

“Absolutely impossible,” she concedes seriously. Oh, lord. We live in a word where Madonna wants to direct every movie, while Tilda Swinton wants to direct nothing.

Stewart and Swinton turn the conversation to parenthood, and it’s really charming. (Swinton has two 14-year olds, you guys. Two!)

“They’re great!” she says, really earnest.

Anyway, again, sorry about all the Tilda. I am trying to cut back on the number of Daily Show clips I post, too. I can’t help it, people! I really love how easygoing celebrities become when Stewart interviews them. And don’t get me started on the time Cameron Diaz removed Jon Stewart’s stitches on television. It was as disgusting as it was amazing.

This is so great.

Yesterday, Patton Oswalt sent Albert Brooks—who really ought to have been nominated for his sinister turn in Drive—a hail of tweets about a hypothetical party that was going down without him. Things like “Dude, GET DOWN HERE. Gosling is doing keg stands” and “Fassbender just showed up in a pirate hat,” which uh, honestly, I can somehow picture this being a Fassbender thing.

Anyway, the very idea of an raucous Oscar-outcasts party is just beyond delightful. So Bennett Marcus at New York Mag/Vulture showed Patton Oswalt’s tweets to Tilda Swinton who, after hearing the first couple tweets read aloud, was TOTALLY READY to go find Patton Oswalt.

Marcus told her Oswalt was kidding. “Oh, he’s making jokes,” Swinton said. “What a shame. I think we should do it for real.” Then she said she really would sing a duet with Andy Serkis. Make it happen, Oswalt.

The rest of the exchange is Swinton’s utter peace at not being nominated.

Do you know why Tilda Swinton is lovable? Because she—just as graciously and respectfully as she can—does not care. Like, she has an Oscar already, and she seems totally pleased to have one, but she really could take it or leave it.

She spoke to Access Hollywood at the same event yesterday, simply telling them that she was not disappointed.

“I am a good gambler,” she continued, “so I knew we were not really going to be in there. I am amazed that our little film got as far as it did.” I don’t know why, but I was really moved by that one quote.

I’m not really interested in acting. […] I don’t want there to be films. It’s not like I’m looking for opportunities to do things. …I would like an opportunity to have a good sleep and get on with some writing.

—The enigmatic, somewhat-otherworldly Tilda Swinton, on how she totally plans to quit acting, you know, one of these days.

Anybody else, Tilda. If anybody else talked like this—anybody else—my eyes would roll so hard, they would roll right out of my head and down the stairs and out into the street and then steal a car and drive away. But on you, Tilda, this sort of thing is kind of completely charming.

Really, this quote isn’t as bratty as it looks. Because when Tilda says that she keeps getting sucked into “schemes” and “basically it’s gone on for 20 years but I’m hoping to pull it to a close shortly,” I feel like she shows her hand. She’s being—well, not facetious, exactly. Maybe it’s more like, acting is this terrible codependent relationship Tilda Swinton knows she’ll never leave, and her wry little threat to ditch filmmaking is Tilda’s way of being cute.

P.S. Today is Tilda’s 51st birthday. Happy birthday!

I don’t know about you guys, but I am crazy excited for We Need to Talk About Kevin, and, just in time for all your crazy post-Halloween shenanigans (are other people having those? I went to the store last night around midnight to get discounted Halloween candy and we’re watching The Human Centipede later, so don’t you be afraid to stretch out that magical holiday as well), we bring you the latest trailer!

Real quick book talk: has anyone else read this novel? I’m in the process of doing so, and so far I’m really enjoying it. I mean, sure, I took a couple breaks to read a Goosebumps book or two (or three), but so far, it’s fantastic.

Do you guys have any similar books or movies that you’d like to suggest? Because in case the mention of Goosebumps didn’t make it obvious, I’m really down with some terrifying entertainment right now.

Listen up, kiddies: I am a huge horror fan (and here is my favorite horror movie site), but I am also a pauper. So I seldom see movies in the theater unless I am super convinced of either their terrifyingness or their terrible-ness.

The last movie I saw was Insidious, for instance. (Do you have Catholic guilt? Do you suffer from sleep paralysis? If either question earns a “yes,” please do not see Insidious, because it is a Mindfreak in the worst way. Love, Sleepless in Chicago, Still.)

So! Here’s a surprisingly-competent Katie Holmes (with Memento‘s Guy Pearce) in the Guillermo del Toro -produced Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark:

Next: I’ve heard and read a lot of complaints about the trailer for the Francis Ford Coppola’s Twixt, an indie horror starring Val Kilmer, Elle Fanning, and Bruce Dern, with music by Dan Deacon. Folks say the trailer looks cheap; I think it looks like a horror film populated by paper dolls. What do you think?

Finally, here’s perennial unicorn Tilda Swinton—and co-starring John C. Reilly as her husband—in a horrific Bad Seed plot about a mother and her sociopath son (based on a novel based on a true-ish story).

And yes, we covered this trailer a week ago, but all things come in Threes, and anyway, it’s my birthday today, SO HERE, AGAIN:

Of the three, which horror trailer is the most awesome?