Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tila Tequila

A Tila Tequila Update

So a lot of you guys are questioning the legitimacy of Tila Tequila’s harrowing tale of violent Juggalos.  That’s cool, that’s fine, I totally understand.  But here are some more developments.

- TMZ has a short video of Tila on stage.  It isn’t long at all, but you can see some guy trying to climb on the stage, and you can see the audience begin to throw things at her.  You can also see that this chaos began when she took her shirt off.

- According to the San Francisco Chronicle, plans were made to attack Tila before the concert even took place.  Their article includes Twitter updates from a guy at the concert, along with a link to Tila Tequila’s blog, and if you go through those comments you can see numerous threats, along with numerous pleas for Tila to just stay home.

- The county sheriff is on Tila’s side.  He told TMZ that “things got out of hand” and that the concert was a “nightmare.”  He knows because he was already on the scene when the Tila Tequila affair went down, taking care of some guy who got stabbed.

- She’s already out and about and covering her face with stupid sunglasses and bandaids.

Tila Tequila is definitely exaggerating (surprise!), but there’s some truth to her original story.  It’s clear that the Juggalos didn’t want her there, and understandably so; I would be pissed if she showed up anywhere I paid to be.  It’s also clear that there were already some bad vibes, what with that guy getting stabbed and everything.  I don’t know, but whatever happened, I’m going to do the unthinkable and keep my eye on Tila Tequila for the next few days.  It should be a fun ride.

This Is What Happens When You Hang Around Juggalos: Tila Tequila’s Story

Photo via TMZ

For some reason I can’t identify, Tila Tequila went to a Gathering of the Juggalos concert in Illinois and appeared on the same stage as the Insane Clown Posse.  As she was making her way on stage, things got bad fast:

“I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.”

Oh, Tila, honey!  But wait – it gets worse:

“These people were trying to kill me.  So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor.  Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me.  They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!!  Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking!  Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared!  So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back.  It was scary as hell!”

This sounds absolutely terrifying, and I’m not even being a little bit sarcastic.  I mean, getting firecrackers and feces thrown at you and being forced to barricade yourself in a trailer would be scary regardless, but just imagine if the people that were doing these things to you were dudes with scary face paint.  Not even Tila Tequila deserves that.

Tila Tequila Surprises Me Every Single Time

It was announced by RadarOnline that Tila Tequila is launching her own porn career. My first reaction? I thought she already was a porn star. Sorry, T. My bad.

Sources state:

Tila Tequila can officially add porn star to her resume.

RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that the Internet entrepreneur is starring in an XXX-rated film that will have a major distributor.

“Tila inked this deal hoping that she’ll make millions off the sale of it,” several sources with knowledge of the film tell RadarOnline.com.

While Tequila has posed nude for several men’s magazines and has been in some raunchy home videos, this is her first stint in a pornographic film.

Welll, hells bells. Our little girl’s growing up. But don’t try to pre-order anytime soon — Tila took to her website and refuted the claims:

IS WHAT true??? So this started to worry me so I finally got online and saw that there are FALSE RUMORS that I made a deal for a “SEX TAPE!” Which is BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a feeling I know who is behind spreading these rumors. He used to work for the OMG staff, got fired for inappropriate behavior and now he’s pissed! He’s also a paparazzi and knows people from Radaronline and TMZ and all of the other mainstream media people! SO, I know that he is the one spreading those “SEX TAPE” rumor’s out of spite!!

So if you wanna play hardball ex-OMG employer, lets play. My pit bull Lawyer, Alan Gutman, is already on getting ready to file a restraining order from you!!! Do you want to play hardball????? Do you want me to tell the WORLD what you did to me????? Well since I have more class than you, I’m not going to tell them. Time will tell itself once the news comes out of the VIOLENT things you did to me, that scared the shit out of me until I kept my mouth shut about it………. Remember the “SCARS” anyone? Hmmmmmmmmmm…… I was so afraid to tell people what REALLY HAPPENED! You will all know soon enough!! and for once and for all, I DID NOT, and I repeat, I DID NOT MAKE A DEAL TO MAKE A SEXTAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And whomever spreads rumors about that, or tries to “LEAK” things from when I was only 17 years old… FUCK YOU! DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!

Too right, Tila. No one wants to fuck with you. They just want to see the trainwreck embarrassment that is you fucking with yourself. And others.

Tile Tequila Pens Letter That Only a Person On Drugs Could Write To Explain Why She’s Going To Rehab

Tila Tequila Goes to Celebrity Rehab

Tila Tequila has agreed to appear on the new season of Celebrity Rehab (which probably wouldn’t even be happening without her) and has taken it upon herself to explain her drug use and decision to go to rehab on her blog. The lengthy letter reads like a crack diary and Tila spends most of it talking about how she doesn’t want to be “another Lindsay Lohan”. Right, bitch. At least Lohan has a legitimate career behind her. Aren’t you that chick from MySpace?

From Tila’s blog:

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to let all of you know that I love my TIla Army Very much, and I was in denial for a long time but it takes a brave and strong woman to not only admit to herself that she has a problem, but also let the whole world know about it. It almost feels like I’m stripped down totally naked and standing in front of a million people. With that said, I KNOW I am an EXTREMELY smart girl, and to run all these empires when I am not even 30 yet, is quite an accomplishment, however I finally admitted to myself that I cannot rely on taking prescription pills everyday for the rest of my life! I didn’t spend my heart and soul into building this extremely successful website, invest every last ounce of money into it, and believe me, a site like this plus staff is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE! I also have My new Record Label and getting all the contracts done to also start up my own management firm, but in order to do all of that, I MUST not be another “LINDSAY LOHAN” where I just flush everything I worked so hard for down the toilet for nothing….

NO WAY! So although this is not something I am very proud to admit, but at least I am strong enough to get help because I DO WANT A BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR MYSELF AND SUCCEED IN EVERYTHING I SET MY MIND ON!

So all you haters, who keeps saying mean shit, hiding behing your laptop and talking shit about me, not because you actually care, but you’re just being a cyber bully! So now that I’m actually getting help, and that takaes a lot of courage, and I know my TILA ARMY will support me through this journey and continue to support me….. but what will you haters do now? I’m finally getting help, shouldn’t you people support those who can finally admit that they have a problem? NOPE! So haters, just shut you’re mouths. SAY IT TO ME IN PERSON AND IT’S A DIFFERENT STORY!! But for now, all you loser haters can sit and hide behind your computer on your fat lazy asses not doing anything with you’re life besides stalking me and bashing my fans. Haters, if I CAN ADMIT THAT I NEED HELP, MAYBE IT’S TIME FOR YOU TOO, ADMITTING THAT YOU NEED HELP FOR CYBERBULLYING PEOPLE AND STALKING THEM 247!

With that said our OMG sources found out that if I do well on “CELEBRITY REHAB” and continue to stay sober, that VH1 May pick up my OWN SPIN OFF SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE SOBER NOW AND HOW I CAN HANDLE BEING A MOGUL, AND STILL TRY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT’s gong to be very raw and real.

So anyway, since the news already broke, I just wanted to tell you myself, and despite those rumors TMZ and many other website have on there that the only person they could find to be on the show was me and if that if they don’t find anymore people to sign on then the show will be cancelled! WRONG!

People always like to make up lies. First of all I pack my bags and leave in about 9 more days to film. There will be 8 to 10 people there already, so of course the reporters are all reporting lies! Geez, even my site is becoming more legit than TMZ and Piggy Perez! You shall see very soon what I mean by that. Turst me.

In the meanwhile TILA ARMY, stay strong for me out there and hold down the fort for me until I return!!! I know my TILA ARMY WILL NEVER STOP SUPPORTING ME BECAUSE I NEVER STOP SUPPORTING THEM!!! SO PLEASE TILA ARMY HOLD THE FORT DOWN FOR ME, SHOW THE HATERS THAT YOU ARE STRONGER THEM THEM!! AND PEASE TUNE IN TO THE SHOW ONCE IT AIRS. I’M A LITTLE NERVOUS BUT AT LEAST I AM GETTING HELP!!! Jeus, if anything, LINDSAY LOHAN NEEDS TO BE IN CELEBRITY REHAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless,
Miss Tila

Uhhh… best of luck, girl?

What the Hell Are You Doing, Tila?

picture of tila tequila rolling around on the ground

Our lady crazy, Tila Tequila, was in attendance at last night’s Maxim Hot 100 party last night in LA. As per normal, she was photographed on her back, flashing her lady bits and acting a fool.

How the hell does she even get invited to these things? Honestly. Maybe I should head out to Hollywood and flash my nether regions for all to see and maybe, just maybe the myth of Tila’s hypnotizing chocha can be debunked. Is it Tila-crotch that makes the world go ’round, or is it just grimy cooter in general?

More photos of Tila stopping, dropping and rolling in the gallery.

Why is Tila Tequila Singing Again? Fucking Why?

Tila sings. Acapella. And raps. Poorly. Oh, man, if this isn’t trainwreck entertainment at its best, nothing is. She kind of reminds me of Snoop … you know, if Snoop wasn’t talented, male and coherent (at least most of the time).

Hearing her sing without music behind her actually reminds me of a time when Tila was pure … ish. It was January or February of 2005 and I’d embarked on my first tour of New Orleans’ Mardi Gras and my friends and I were completely — completely — wasted. We’d spent all day (and the previous night … and the day before … and the previous night before that) drinking. We had hit up pretty much every bar in the vicinity of Bourbon Street three times over at that point and Fat Tuesday was fast-approaching. We made another pilgrimage to one of the city’s hottest karaoke bars (yes, I’m a bona fide karaoke freak, thankyouverymuch) and stumbled upon none other than Ms. OMG herself, Tila Tequila. She was brunette then and didn’t have boobs as big as the lumpy mountains she calls tits now, but it was Tila in all of her cheerleader-skirt-with-garter-belts glory. She was just as wasted as the rest of us were and had her place on stage, dancing and grinding with the DJs. At that point, I didn’t really know who she was (other than another D-list famester) and I didn’t care much — that was the night that I got to sing a duet with a former contestant of American Idol, Desmond. If that was even his name. We sang Prince’s “Kiss” and it made my night. Tila had slithered off during the course of the evening, but I’ll always remember her as that babbling, inebriated kewpie doll, dancing dangerously and swinging tattooed limbs all over the place. Good times.

Oh, yeah, and her gossip site is up and running. But please don’t jump ship on me. I promise to (try and) be way more entertaining than the non-pregnant, sometimes-lesbian, drug-and-alcohol addled Tila Tequila. They’re some pretty big boobs boots to fill, but I’m confident I can do it. Even if I have to go and rob CVS stores to prove it.

I Will Be Devastated When Tila Tequila Finally Dies

Just when you think your life blows, there’s Tila Tequila to offer a bit of perspective, am I right? I thought my Cinco de Mayo was poorly spent at a dive bar being repeatedly poked in the head by sombrero wearing college students from the OC who had no business being in Silverlake until I saw the photos of this Tila Tequila-hosted shitshow. Good Lord! Can you imagine flying to Vegas to celebrate a drinking holiday only to wind up in a room with several hundred Jersey Shore casting pool rejects and this whackjob singing on the speakers? Disaster. And how is Tila Tequila still locking down major hosting/performing gigs?

Regardless, I think her hair looks kind of cute…