So Sherri Shepherd finally married her fiancé, Lamar Sally. Hurrah! The the View host has been looking merry (and marriage-skinny) on The Newlywed Game—a show I watch religiously, by the way, thank you—in anticipation of her upcoming wedding.

Plus, Sherri has been discussing her engagement for like a jillion years. So, okay, she’s finally married, thank God, and phew. I am really, really excited to never hear about Sherri Shepherd’s engagement ever again.

But here’s the thing: despite Sherri’s huge, ongoing wedding to-do, fellow loudmouth View co-host Joy Behar decided to suddenly marry her boyfriend—sorry, her boyfriend of 29 years—on the very same weekend as Sherri’s wedding.

And I’m a little irritated for Sherri, because this basically fists propriety. It’s like, really, Joy? After 29 years, you couldn’t wait a whole month to marry your boyfriend? You had to pick Sherri Shepherd’s big weekend? Yeah, maybe I’m oversensitive, but unless your wedding was totally Sherri’s idea, this was a dick move, Behar.

I don’t know what’s going on where y’all live, but here in LA, everywhere you look there’s a new billboard up warning everyone against the “end of the world” and that it’s supposedly going to happen on May 21st. That’s in less than a couple weeks, you guys!

The always informed, totally current ladies of The View decided to discuss these ads, which were put out by a Christian Evangelical group, and per usual, they had a ton of nothing to say.

Since the apocalypse is supposed to begin with the return of Christ and end five months later after all of his non-believers have spent 5 months with their lives in shambles, that God-loving Sherri Shepherd had the most to say. She told the group that while she does believe Christ will return, there’s probably no way to guess the date. This isn’t say, logic or reasoning on her part, it’s because last time she thought Christ was going to come back, she put herself in a mountain of credit card debt and was disappointed upon realizing that she had to pay it off.

The rest of them? Barbara stayed neutral as she always does, Elisabeth says she’s going camping, and Joy said she’s panicked about having nothing to wear. Whoopi? She was probably off somewhere polishing off a flask of the hard stuff so she can function around these lunatics.

Where do I stand on this? I’m prepared for just about anything, so if we experienced nuclear fallout (which seems more likely to me than Christ “coming back”) I’d either survive or figure out a way to die as comfortably as possible, but I dunno if this is something to burn a lot of energy on. Or advertising dollars.

Denise Richards has never been shy about letting her drama play out in public, so it was definitely surprising to see that she took the highroad when asked about her ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s recent behavior on Friday’s episode of The View.

Back when Denise was doing her own reality show, a lot of people raised questions about whether or not a fit mother would put her children on TV, suggesting that she was such a famewhore she didn’t care what the exposure did to them. You can’t watch the clip above and tell me that the woman speaking doesn’t seem to be coming from the place of a mother who refuses to trash the father of her kids on TV for their sake. I’m just as desperate to hear her bash Charlie as much as the rest of the world, but I have to say that I really respect the way she handled this round of questioning.

I actually, dare I say it, feel kind of badly for her right now?

Damn, Whoopi. Are you drunk? High? “Overworked”? Is it even legal to get high and go on The View? Wouldn’t you think Elisabeth Hasselbeck would have a bit to say about that, the strait-laced crazy-monger that she is?

“Still slightly drugged.” SLIGHTLY?

Forget The Client List — this video is feel-good entertainment at its best.

Whoopi Goldberg supposedly made a statement earlier on The View this week saying that she had worked with Mel Gibson, and although all evidence points to the contrary, her experience with him showed no signs of him being a racist. Well, of course the blog world reacted to that statement and said things like, “Why do you think he’d act racist toward a famous black woman?” and “Do you think just because he wasn’t racist toward you that he’s not racist at all?” Then people started calling up the offices at The View and chewing out Whoopi’s secretary, which brought Whoopi to make the above statement on the show yesterday.

I agree that a black woman might know better than me, a totally white woman, when someone is being racist. However, I think that Whoopi’s statement got the reaction that it did because there’s no way you can deny someone’s negative feelings about black people after you’ve heard them tell their girlfriend that she’s going to be “raped by a pack of n***ers.” Call me crazy, but Whoopi’s positive on-set experience with Mel can’t make me unhear those words.

Do you see Whoopi’s point or do you think that it’s as irrelevant as I do?

Back in June, there was an episode of The View that offended a whole lot of people.  There were two male co-hosts, D.L. Hughley and Thomas Roberts, a newscaster for MSNBC.  They discussed that asinine Red Cross policy that states that gay men and people who have slept with gay men cannot donate blood, and from there, Hughley went on to make the statement that “when you look at the prevalence of HIV in the African American community it’s primarily young women who are getting it from men who are on the down low,” and they talked about that for a bit.  The thing is, however, that Hughley’s statement wasn’t even a little bit true.

GLAAD, along with the Black AIDS Institute and the National Black Justice Coalition, took offense to that remark, so they placed a full page ad in Variety demanding an on-air apology from The View and asking them to give the actual facts to their viewers.

I can’t imagine that The View won’t respond to this.  Placing a full page ad in Variety seems like a pretty effective way to call someone out.  I’d like to think that maybe next time people on The View would bother to check their facts before they make these kinds of ridiculous statements that other people actually listen to, but I’m not going to get my hopes up.

If there is one “celebrity” that makes my skin crawl, it’s that little goody two-shoes, stick-up-her-ass, wet blanket Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Not only does this woman give Republicans a bad name, but she’s inarticulate, passive-aggressive and generally childish. Exhibit A: Her reaction to Kathy Griffin on this morning’s episode of The View.

Now, it’s no secret that Kathy has dished on Elisabeth in her stand up and that the two have radically different political views, but while most people are able to put politics aside and see the humor in Kathy’s roast-like stand up act, Elisabeth just broke down. Throughout the entirety of Kathy’s interview, Elisabeth stayed silent only piping up to ask loaded questions about her stance on Obama and the state of the White House. At one point, Kathy is talking about the work she’s done to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and Elisabeth absentmindedly stares at her fingernails.  She also paused at one point to stretch and yawn. During an interview on a televised talk show. If that doesn’t qualify someone as a bitch, then I don’t know what does.

Toward the end of the second segment (check it out after the jump), Elisabeth tries to defend herself to Kathy, asking her if she’s uncomfortable being around the people that she’s bashed in her act. Kathy came back with a “I live for it, bitch!” and Elisabeth quickly backed down, but it was clear that she didn’t “get it”. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is her own worst enemy because she’s ignorant. She cannot see outside of her tiny world. In a way, we need someone as thick-headed as her on television to use an example of how dangerous stupidity can be.

Remember back in the day when Nicole Richie wrote that fiction book about a girl who was a famous singer’s adopted daughter? And the girl was friends with lots of famous people and did drugs? And it basically was a memoir but she never really acknowledged it? OK, well Star Jones is about to do the exact same thing, but with The View and I can’t freakin’ wait.

The NY Post reported that the story will follow a group of women who host a TV show called “The Lunch Club”. Things get hectic on the set when the co-hosts learn that a former castmember who knows all their dirt has decided to return to the show. As we all know, Star never made a return to The View, but she did leave on quite unpleasant terms, and everyone knows that some legendary shit goes down in their make-up room.

I’m hoping that where Barbara Walters’ book “Audition” left me wanting more dirt, The Lunch Club might be able to answer some lingering questions I have about the behind-the-scenes dynamic there.

…and BTW, Darlene from Roseanne (Sara Gilbert), is by far the most interesting person they have tapped. The other co-hosts for the attempted recreation of the ABC daytime staple are Real Housewife of NY, Bethenny Frankel, Julie Chen and Lisa Rinna. A source told the NY Post, “It’s a daytime panel show to take on ‘The View,’ targeted at women with children and hosted by celebrities, journalists and regular moms. A pilot will be shot in early May.” So it’s the exact same show, on a lamer network with lamer co-hosts and no Barbara Walters-level ballin’ ass bitches behind it? Lameballs.

I love the idea of these kinds of shows. In fact, my love of The View is pretty well-documented, but if the co-hosts aren’t dynamic and interesting, then the show winds up having the opposite effect. It makes women look vapid and with views not worth hearing about. We hear enough of Bethenny Frankel on Real Housewives and all over the tabloids, Lisa Rinna bores the hell out of me and frankly, I don’t know or care enough about Julie or Sara to tune in for them.

Who would you like to see hosting a show like this?

My favorite show, The View, has announced their newest series of guest co-hosts and it’s really just more of the same. But in a good way.

Joining the ladies will be Meghan McCain (barf, but it’s sometimes fun in a “I hate the world” way to listen to her talk), Valerie Bertinelli, and Victoria Beckham, who apparently just does guest spots on talk shows and competitions now. And of course, Kate Gosselin, the woman with the seven-thousand dollar extensions who used to bone that wild moose, will be seated at the table on March 11th.

If you don’t normally watch The View, I don’t want to know you, but also, you should still probably tune in to check out Kate. Last time she was on the show she was in the midst of her divorce and for the most part, was respectful of her disgusting husband. Now she’s a completely single woman, she’s got her own TV show in the works, she’s got that fly-ass weave and her ex-husbro is dating a 25 year old girl that he was seen making out with all over Sundance. If ever there was an opportunity to see Kate Gosselin become unhinged, this is it. And if she’s smart, she will. Homegirl has to stay relevant if she wants to keep feeding all those kids.

Kate Gosselin has officially joned the list of women that will be filling in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View while she finishes out her maternity leave early this fall. Gosselin and her recently improved hairdo will be sitting in with Joy, Sheri and Whoopi on September 14th and 15th (if the show’s format has not changed, she’ll be there on Monday for the day of Hot Topics, which is my favorite hour of television all week), in part to promote the new season of Jon and Kate Plus 8.

While it doesn’t seem like there will be much for Kate to dish on that we haven’t heard before, I am more interested to hear her opinion on topics of the day than any of the other guests they have lined up to fill in. Meghan McCain, well, I find her a little bit difficult to take seriously and La Toya Jackson is only interesting if she’s willing to dish on Michael and the rest of her family. And just throwing it out there Bill Gedde, producer of The View: I am totally available. I’m wide-open for you, Bill. I can be there in like, twenty minutes.

Click here to see Danny Devito sit on Rosie’s lap like the little elf he is. I guess he also doesn’t like George Bush. But really, who does these days?

Update: What I forgot to mention is that he is wasted. Perez has a funny take on Devito’s rantings. Why is it funnier when a little person is drunk?