Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Covers Eminem; When Will It Stop?

It hurt a little when Taylor Swift covered Mumford and Sons, but I tried to be ok with it. And then when she did the Dixie Chicks cover, I actually thought it was kind of cute. But then she did an Eminem cover. And I don’t know how to deal with these feelings.

Do we still care about Taylor Swift at all, or is she over? I feel like she broke it off with Jake Gyllenhaal and then most people over the age of 17 stopped caring about her around the same time? Or maybe that’s just my fondest wish. Confirm or deny, please!

Let’s Get This Evening Started Right: Taylor Swift Covers The Dixie Chicks

Hey, friends! It’s been a hot minute since we last spoke, hasn’t it? And, you know, sometimes friends have to reconnect after a little time apart, and just catch up on what’s gone on in their lives. So what’s new?

Oh, me? Yeah, I’ve just been watching this video of Taylor Swift do another one of her famous covers and hating myself for thinking that she looks so adorable. Also I’m trying to stay in the present, because I don’t know if this is just for girls around my age from Tennessee or what, but I’ll be damned if this song doesn’t catapult me back to my 8th grade talent show. Every bitch who thought she had a voice wanted to do this “Cowboy Take Me Away” bullshit.

Now you tell me about you, lovelies!

And Speaking of Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Swift Did an Interview with Teen Vogue

photo of taylor swift for teen vogue magazine pictures photos

Am I crazy for not thinking that Taylor Swift is all that pretty? I mean, she’s not BAD-LOOKING, by any means, nor is she even average, I guess, but I just don’t really find her all that attractive. I know she’s a moderately talented singer/songwriter and stuff, and not everyone can be a wanton sex goddess like Olivia Wilde, and it’s NOT EVEN LIKE it’s just LOOKS THAT MATTER, but Taylor Swift? I guess I’ll just pass on that, thanks.

I mean, even in this photo shoot, where she’s supposed to be all charming and whimsical and come-hither, it’s just not translating for me. Maybe my receptors are broken or something, because I just. don’t. get it. Plus, the floral theme that’s going on here totally makes me want to drown myself in Zyrtec and nasal spray.

So anyway. Here’s some excerpts from Taylor’s Vogue interview. I’m sure you’ll find them scintillating:

On really getting into her most favorite television programs:

“Detective Olivia Benson from Law & Order S.V.U. I sit in my apartment and watch hours of that show. So I sort of feel like me and Olivia are BFFs.”

On the songs that speak to her most:

“‘She’s So High’ by Tal Bachman (the sweetest song !!), ‘You Learn’ by Alanis Morissette, ‘Shot in the Dark’ by Augustana.”

On loving “princess dresses”:

“I get to wear it every night on tour at the end of the show when I’m singing ‘Love Story.’ It’s long and sparkly (big surprise, right?) and a total princess dress.”

One thing that Taylor Swift really gets going? My allergies. Seriously.

Taylor Swift and Shania Twain Reenact Thelma and Louise

photo of taylor swift and shania twain thelma and louise photo shoot pics

Oh hey look. It’s Taylor Swift trying to have a personality or something. No, really, it’s the two of them doing some kind of skit for the upcoming CMT Music Awards. Cute, isn’t it?

And how do we feel about Taylor Swift, anyway? Do we love her? Dislike her? Pity her?

Anyway. I know, like, you country types stick together for the most part, Taylor, but do you have any friends your own age, girl? Or a personality of your own, for that matter?

Taylor Swift *Finally* Takes a Controversial Stance on *Something*

picture of taylor swift photos people's choice awards

Taylor Swift has finally put her foot down about something that not everyone on the planet agrees with and it feels awfully good to know that she’s not a total robot. The singer recently did an interview saying that celebrities who complain about paparazzi are annoying and don’t seem to get that that’s what they’ve signed up for as a famous person.

Of course you and I probably agree with Taylor, but you know who doesn’t? Like, basically everyone in Hollywood. It’s nice to see Taylor take a stance on something other than whether or not it’s fair that her crush likes her back.

Here’s what she said:

“I think it’s just obnoxious if I complain about anything… I hear people talk about like, ‘oh, the intrusions on my privacy.’ It’s like there are a million other jobs you could have had. And for me, I’ve just come to an acceptance of the fact, this is my life. If somebody wants to hide a relationship or has privacy issues then we don’t have the same viewpoint. For me, it’s just like live your life. If people happen to take picture then you know, you laugh about it in the car afterwards.”

Mmmmhmmm. That’s right, Taylor! Gossip and the public’s desire to see photos of celebrities isn’t going to go anywhere, so famous types who repeatedly try and school the general public on how unfair it is that they’re famous and get their picture taken really need to get over it. At least in public, anyway.

Taylor Swift Covers Mumford and Sons, I’m Like “Ugh”

I don’t get Taylor Swift at all.  Can anyone explain her appeal to me?  I get that she’s cute, I’ll accept that, but it’s almost overwhelming how much I don’t care about her music.  But Mumford and Sons?  Oh man, you don’t even know.  Back in February I went through a period of about two weeks in which the only music I listened to was Mumford and Sons, and trust me, pretty much all my socially retarded self does is listen to music.

All that being said, I don’t think TayTay’s cover of “White Blank Page” is the worst thing I’ve ever heard, which I sincerely mean as a compliment.  She does a pretty decent job considering, you know, she’s Taylor Swift, and besides, look at how hard she’s feeling it. She means these words, you guys, and she means them from the depths of her soul.  Think she’s pining over Jake still?

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Broke Up. Last Month.

photo of jake gyllenhaal and taylor swift on thanksgiving pictures

Break out the hankies, watch for a few ‘Jake is gay’ rumors to fly low, and get some earplugs – because you just know that girlfriend’s going to release a Jake-dedicated song in the coming months.

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal have called it quits on their two-month-old relationship, and, according to sources, also claim that the couple stopped seeing each other last month. Cripes man, it’s Taylor Swift here. How did we not know. We know, by a random break into song, whenever a generic car parts salesman accidentally looks her way.  The people responsible for this big cover-up?  Probably the same people behind the Kennedy assassination.

I like Taylor’s virginal and innocent persona a lot – her music, eh, not so much – but the breakup is probably for the best. She seems to write her best songs when she’s been smited, and as you all know, there’s a market for practically everything out there these days. Inquiring minds wanna know, you know?

Sorry about the imminent heartbreak, guys, it must have been rough – but note to Taylor? This is why you don’t let things like this leak after only one date. It’s embarrassing when things go south so quickly, isn’t it?