“I don’t want that slutty whore touching my baby boy! Tell her to keep her filthy whore hands to her filthy whore self, because if she comes nosin’ around my house, I got a shotgun that’ll nose right back! She ain’t nothin’ but trash, and I won’t have that, not for my son. If she wants a new man, she can go to the STREET CORNER or the DUMP, not my neighborhood. I’m ain’t havin’ it.”
- Maria Shriver on why she doesn’t want Taylor Swift dating her son, Patrick Schwarzenegger*.
But yeah, remember how Taylor spent her Fourth of July with little Patrick? We weren’t sure if they were dating or if they were just hanging out, but whatever it was then, it looks like it’s getting a little more serious now. Serious enough for Maria Shriver to tell her to move along.
From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:
Maria Shriver doesn’t want Taylor Swift singing any love songs to her hunk son Patrick Schwarzenegger — and she’s told the country supersar to take a hike. Maria fears Taylor will chew him up, spit him out and then write a song about him as she’s done with previous famous boyfriends.
“Maria got word to Taylor and warned her not to get any ideas about datingPatrick,” revealed an insider. “She basically told Taylor to ‘back off.’”
The singer was photographed cozying up to recent high school grad Patrick at an Independence Day gathering at the Kennedys’ Hyannis Port, Mass., compound.
Taylor is a longtime Kennedy family friend, and an excited Patrick tweeted that the festivities were “the best 4th of July I could ask for.”
Said the insider: “Maria is worried that Taylor will lead Patrick on and then leave his heart shattered in a million pieces, like she’s done with other guys.”
While Maria thinks Taylor is a sweet girl, “she’s 100 percent opposed to Patrick dating her,” said the insider. “He’s entering the University of Southern California in the fall and she doesn’t want anything distracting him.”
Poor Taylor Swift. One way or another, it seems like she’s always looking for love in all the wrong places. But that’s an interesting theory that Maria has in that story up there: do you think Taylor Swift gets her heart broken with every relationship she has, as her music would have us believe, or do you think that she’s really just one of those psychotic girlfriends who destroys all the guys she dates, just so she’ll have material for her songs?
That kind of thought almost makes me feel sorry for John Mayer. Almost.
*This isn’t a direct quote**.
**I don’t think.