Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

BREAKING: Taylor Swift Is “Obsessed” with The Kennedys

A photo of Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

From Us Weekly:

For years, Taylor Swift has harbored a not-so-secret infatuation with her new boyfriend Conor Kennedy’s iconic family. “She’s obsessed with the family,” a pal tells Us Weekly. One insider adds that Conor’s cousin Ted Kennedy Jr. even calls the country crooner a “Kennedy groupie!”

The 22-year-old “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” singer first grew enamored while watching the 2011 miniseries The Kennedys, then began collecting memorabilia for her Nashville and Beverly Hills pads and boning up on the clan’s history.

“I just read a 900-page book called The Kennedy Women,” she raved to Rolling Stone last summer. Months later, Rory Kennedy reached out to Swift for concert tickets, and Swift turned up at January’s Sundance Film Festival to catch a screening of Ethel, Rory’s HBO documentary about her mom (and Conor’s grandmother).

Her persistence paid off.

Rory invited Swift to visit the family’s compound for 4th of July weekend, where she met Conor, 18. “She’s a great friend of all of ours,” says Rory. “She’s awesome, and we love her.”

Sources close to Swift tell Us that she’s already fallen hard for Conor, despite their extremely brief courtship. “She’s head over heels,” one insider told Us recently of the country cutie. “[Conor's] a smart, sensitive guy.”

“She says it’s a fantasy come true,” the source adds. “[Taylor] is very smitten.”

Really, this isn’t anything that we didn’t already know, but isn’t it just so creepy to hear all the details? Here, I’ll condense it even further for you: Taylor watched the miniseries about the Kennedys, collects Kennedy memorabilia, and reads books about the Kennedys. Wouldn’t that creep you out? I mean, if you were Conor, or any close member of the family. I might have said this before (I’ve definitely thought it before), but if Taylor was a dude, she would be getting so much flack for this. And she really should.

And just think, poor Conor is barely 18 years old, and he’s still in high school. His mother killed herself in May. He must be going through a lot, and then creepy ol’ Taylor Swift swoops in because she has some weird fetish for his family and lets him touch her boob and now he’s so in love. And that’s shady.

But here, I’ll leave it up to you guys …

Taylor Swift:
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Taylor Swift Is Shopping for Wedding Dresses, Wants to Get Pregnant

A photo of Taylor Swift

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Taylor Swift is storming her way into Camelot, already making plans to marry 18-year-old Conor Kennedy and have his child as quickly as possible. Swift is obsessed with becoming the next Jackie Kennedy, say sources. And while she’s close to Ethel Kennedy, other members of the powerful dynasty are ready to go to war with Swift to keep her out of the family.

“It’s World War III. Many of the Kennedys loathe Taylor and don’t want anything to do with her,” said a Kennedy family insider. “They think she’s using her fame as a singer to worm her way into the fold… Taylor badly wants to marry Conor and have a Kennedy baby. She sees herself as the next Jackie O and aims to become as famous as she was, a style icon on a world stage.”

Conor and Taylor are now discussing a walk down the aisle next spring.

“Taylor’s already looking for the perfect wedding dress… she wants a vintage ‘60s gown. Conor is besotted with Taylor and insists the relationship is for real.”

Meanwhile, Conor’s dad Robert Junior has been caught up in his own red-hot affair with Cheryl Hines – and there is “nobody to sit Conor down and tell him he’s too young and should take it easy.”

“But it’s not wonder he’s so smitten – just think, here’s a boy who lost his mom in the most tragic circumstances, his dad’s busy romancing a Hollywood star and Taylor is not the main female in his life.”

“Taylor is banking on Ethel’s approval for a marriage, and then she’ll have Conor’s baby. She can’t wait to cradle that baby – it would be her passport into Kennedy history,” declared the insider. And Conor? “He thinks they’ll split their time between Massachusetts and Nashville and that they’ll live happily ever after. But he hasn’t even started college yet!”

This would be one of the rare Enquirer stories that I totally believe. Maybe the Kennedys will be able to keep Taylor out of the family, maybe one of Taylor’s people will talk some sense into her, but I can definitely see her thinking this way, and I can, without a shadow of a doubt, see her trying on wedding dresses at this very moment. She’s just the kind of girl who dates an 18-year-old high school senior for a month and a half and then starts planning the wedding, you know?

Taylor Swift’s New Music Video Is Too Dumb for Words

But you know I have to try.

This is the music video for Taylor Swift‘s brand new hit single, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” And I just can’t. I mean, I guess it would be kind of cute if it was done on Hannah Montana or something, but when this 22-year-old woman does it, it’s just kind of sad. And what makes it even sadder is that it really is a huge hit: did you know that this song has had the second largest digital sales week ever? In the history of buying music online, only one other song has sold more copies in its first week than Tay Tay’s song here. And the song that sold the most digital copies? It features Ke$ha. Just let that little fact wash over you.

And, just as a reference, here’s a song written and performed by another 22-year-old:

Here’s a song written and performed by a 19-year-old:

And one more song by another 22-year-old:

But please, Taylor, please keep releasing song after song (after song) about your dysfunctional relationships. They are just so well-crafted, and you sing them so beautifully.

UPDATE: Apparently you can watch the video on MTV’s site and embed it elsewhere, but it will only work on MTV. Whatever. Here you go, friends!

Taylor Swift Can’t Be Without Her Kennedy for One Moment

A photo of Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

From the New York Post:

Taylor Swift is so smitten with Conor Kennedy that, after leaving him in Massachusetts to head back to Nashville, she missed him so desperately she sent a jet to pick him up from the Kennedy home.

Sources exclusively tell Page Six that country superstar Swift left the Kennedy family compound in Hyannis Port alone just over a week ago to go to Nashville to work and promote her new single, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

But one source said, “Taylor missed Conor so much, she sent a plane for him a few days later. He’s been with her ever since, and his family doesn’t know when he will be back. Things have become so serious between them so fast that no one in Hyannis Port would be surprised if they eloped.”

A Kennedy source told us that despite their still-brief romance, which they say started in July, Swift seems “totally in love with Conor. They are inseparable and are all over each other all the time. While his relatives really like Taylor, some feel their lovey-dovey behavior is cute while it has made others in the family feel a little uncomfortable.”

The love-struck pair crashed the wedding of Kyle Kennedy in Boston. The bride’s mother, Victoria Gifford Kennedy, said she had asked them via text not to come, then asked Swift to leave twice. But, “It was like talking to a ghost. She seemed to look right past me.”

Another source close to Swift, 22, said, “She always falls very hard and becomes very intense very quickly, and this time is no exception. In fact she seems to have fallen even harder.”

According to reports, Swift even bought a home next to 19-year-old Conor’s family. And she was spotted holding tight to him while accompanying him and his siblings to their mother Mary Richardson Kennedy’s grave site.

Reps for Swift, who so far have not commented on the relationship, didn’t get back to us last night.

Man, Taylor is really moving in quick on this one, huh? This whole Kennedy thing is on a different level than her Jake Gyllenhaal phase or her Joe Jonas phase or her Taylor Lautner phase or her John Mayer phase. This time, she’s being downright reckless. She’s crashing weddings, she’s breaking laws, and she’s probably going to make Conor miss the first day of his senior year.

But oh, I hope they elope. How amazing would that be? Then they could live together and she could make him special lunches and drop him off at school, and when he got home she could tuck him in for a nap and then play him the serious love songs she spent all day writing about him. Because this relationship is nothing if not completely stable and totally devoid of creepiness.

The Kennedys Don’t Love Taylor Swift So Much Anymore

A photo of Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift has a problem, you guys. She has a Kennedy problem. I don’t know if she’s just super into the whole idea of American royalty or if she’s never heard about that curse thing, but she’s got a serious problem. That’s the only reason I can think of why Taylor would do what she did.

Well, ok, that made it sound a little more serious than it really is. Taylor Swift hasn’t carved Conor’s name into her arm or tied Conor down and branded her name on his chest, and she hasn’t been poking holes in condoms, and she hasn’t been caught making out with pictures of JFK (that we know of). No, she just crashed a wedding. But in a really, really creepy way.

From People:

Victoria Gifford Kennedy is claiming the 22-year-old Grammy award winner crashed her daughter Kyle’s wedding in Boston on Saturday.

The mother of the bride says Swift’s beau, Conor, was invited to her daughter’s nuptials to Liam Kerr, but failed to RSVP.

“[Swift and Conor] texted me an hour before the wedding and asked if they could come. I responded with a very clear ‘Please do not come.’ They came anyway,” she tells the Boston Herald.

“I personally went up to Ms. Swift, whose entrance distracted the entire event, politely introduced myself to her and asked her as nicely as I could to leave,” she adds. “It was like talking to a ghost. She seemed to look right past me.”

But Swift’s rep, Paula Erickson, tells the paper that Gifford Kennedy’s claims are totally bogus.

“Taylor was invited to the wedding and the bride thanked her profusely for being there,” she said.

Prior to this incident, the Kennedy family has treated Swift warmly and welcomed her into the fold.

“She’s awesome,” Conor’s aunt, Rory Kennedy, said of the singer earlier this summer. “She’s a great friend of all of ours.”

Yeah, I’m going to trust the mother of the bride on this one. How weird, right? And rude and creepy and so many other things. Especially the part where “it was like talking to a ghost.” Like Taylor was so entranced by being at a big, official, real life Kennedy affair that she couldn’t focus on anything. It’s one (extremely rude) thing if you show up to a wedding after someone asks you not to, but to ignore them when they ask you to leave? Did Taylor Swift just pull her very first bitch move?

Taylor Swift Loves Her Kennedy with All Her Heart

A photo of Taylor Swift

Just look at those two kids up there, holding hands and frolicking merrily along the beach! Have you ever seen a couple look more content? More in love? More goofy?

Once you get over the sheer romance of this photo, you can start to see a few other noteworthy things. For instance, Taylor is in another darling swimsuit, while Conor looks like he’s wearing boxers underneath his trunks (is that a thing?). Taylor is staring straight at the camera, exuding that familiar sense of desperation, while Conor is looking downward and perhaps seems a little bummed out. Probably because summer’s almost over and he’ll have to go back to school soon. High school. Because Taylor Swift’s boyfriend is still in high school.

At first it seemed kind of odd to me that Taylor would want to date an 18-year-old – who, please remember, was 17 when they started dating – but now it all makes sense. Taylor has the mindset of an eighth grader, and she’s going to be dating a senior. In high school. She’s going to be so popular.

Here’s one more picture:

A photo of Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

Electric.

New Taylor Swift Music! New Taylor Swift Music!

A photo of Taylor Swift

And that’s the cover of the very first single from her new album. Like, for real. That’s really it. It’s actually called “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Here’s the song itself:

Taylor is 22 years old. Does everyone remember that? 22. Good lord.

The new album is titled Red, which sounds very mature, and it will be released on October 22nd. A while back, someone asked Taylor about the songs she’d been writing for her new album, and she answered “they’re sad, if I’m being honest.” Because allegedly? A lot of the songs are about her parents’ divorce. Which, by the way, hasn’t happened yet. They’re just separated, they don’t want to actually file for divorce yet because they don’t want to hurt Taylor. Who, just in case you forgot, is 22 years old.

But hey, who do you think Taylor’s new song is about? Probably John Mayer, I’d wager. I imagine that Jake Gyllenhaal* and Taylor Lautner have long since found new beards to love and leave since their brushes with the Swift.

*Real quick, Taylor has gone from Jake Gyllenhall to this floppy-headed kid. What an unbelievable downgrade, am I right?