Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Haylor Is Already Discussing Marriage

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

Oh, Haylor. A love so young yet so precious. A love that has captured the heart of a generation. A love that is not as good as that 17-year-old Kennedy thing, but that’s still pretty ok. It is simply … Haylor.

Haylor, just in case you live under a merciful, protective rock, is the nickname of power couple Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. They love each other, like, a lot. So much that they’re already thinking of getting married, and that idea is apparently serious enough for Taylor’s dad to not love it so much:

One Direction’s Harry Styles has been ordered by girlfriend Taylor Swift’s dad: “Don’t break my daughter’s heart.”

The teen heart-throb has had a man-to-man chat with Scott Kingsley Swift, 60, who has guided his daughter’s glittering pop career.

A source said: “He likes Harry but he wants them to slow down and take things easy. It’s clear to everyone they are smitten with one another and already talking about marriage. He doesn’t want them to split up as fast as they’ve got together and for Taylor to end up devastated.”

After the chat, Taylor, 23, and Harry, 18, flew to the British Virginia Isles for a romantic break — their third in three months.

Oh man, wouldn’t it be so tiring to be Taylor Swift’s dad? He’s got to just be like “Taylor, you’re 23, do you have any maturity yet?” And she’d be like “I want to get married, Dad, GOD.” And then he’d be like “whatever, I’m taking one of your credit cards with me to the titty bar.” And she’d be like “you’re so gross, Dad, get out of my human sized birdcage!” And he’d wonder just where he went wrong.

But hey, I just want to note that I am absolutely sick of being teased with Taylor Swift weddings. Piss or get of the pot, sister.

Taylor Swift Is Getting Bored of Her Boyfriend of One Month

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

I know, guys, I thought that this was The One, too. It hurts, doesn’t it? When there’s talk of such a power couple like Taylor Swift and Harry Styles splitting, it has a way of hurting all of us. The pain is too much to bear, but I’ll try to soldier on.

The issue, apparently, is that Taylor just doesn’t like hanging out with Harry. Or she likes hanging out with him when their mouths are occupied (I MEAN FRENCHING), but when it’s time to have an actual conversation, she just can’t take it. They just don’t have anything to talk about. And that’s why Taylor is “already thinking of moving on.”

You know, maybe they don’t have anything to talk about because Harry is an 18-year-old boy and Taylor is a crazy obsessed girlfriend, always. Maybe it’s because Taylor’s heart still hasn’t healed from her Kennedy. Maybe Taylor realizes that she hasn’t gotten nearly as much press about this relationship as she did with her last 18-year-old boyfriend, and she’s on the hunt for her next dude. I don’t know, I can’t say. The only thing I can really say for sure is UGH TAYLOR STOP.

Taylor Swift Is Super Excited About Her Boyfriend

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

When I was in fourth grade, I had the biggest crush on a guy named Eric. He sat in front of me, so we were often reading buddies, and I’d always whisper the right answers to the spelling test in his ear. Sadly, ours was a love that would never be, because he was moderately popular and I was a weirdo bookworm freak. But I loved him. I wrote his name in my diary over and over again, and I was convinced that because our first names both began with the letter E we were destined to be together. I questioned my mom daily, how do you know if a guy likes you? What can you do to make a guy like you? How can you deal with this massive love in your heart when you have the little body of a fourth grader?

That whole feeling? I’m pretty sure that’s what Taylor Swift feels like any time a guy looks at her:

Taylor Swift has confessed that she finds One Direction’s Harry Styles “incredibly good-looking,” adding that he was one of the most amazing things to happen in her life.

“It’s crazy. He’s fantastic. I love him. He just puts you at ease. He’s the embodiment of youthful energy. It’s really inspiring,” the Mirror quoted Swift as telling her friend.

“He’s opening my mind to so many thoughts. Our relationship doesn’t feel like a weight,” she said.

The couple have been almost inseparable since they were introduced by their mutual friend Justin Bieber at an awards ceremony.

The relationship cooled briefly when Styles was spotted with New Zealand-based model Emma Ostilly, 18, while he was on tour Down Under.

Swift then began dating 18-year-old Conor Kennedy, a relative of the late US president JFK, but she and Styles were reunited backstage at the BBC Radio One Teen Awards in October.

She was heard openly discussing her relationship with Styles at last weekend’s Capital Radio Jingle Bell Ball at London’s 02 Arena.

“We do normal things, like go out to eat, take pictures and make videos. He’s cute, incredibly good looking, smells good and I’m enjoying the flirtation,” she said.

“Meeting him is just one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me.”

She admitted that she worried about their future, saying, “The future, the past, the present, where’s this all going? It’s like everything. But things are good”.

I’m not saying that Taylor said all of this, word for word, but you have to admit that it’s probably pretty close. And isn’t that hilarious? I feel like I would say all this stuff to my middle school BFF, not as a 23-year-old woman. Like, he’s cute AND incredibly good looking AND he smells good, so where’s my ring? It’s just silly, and that’s why I love Taylor Swift. Well, that and the fact that she owns a fox sweater.

Watch This (or Don’t): Taylor Swift’s ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ Video

So this is the song that’s supposed to be about John Mayer, and if you watch the video closely, you’ll see little indicators that it’s just got to be about him. The Montana-looking mountains that John Mayer ran away to in order to center himself and work out his maturity issues and write new music and think up ways to bed a new A-list chick? They’re there. The quasi-Johnny Depp-wannabe outfit that the video boyfriend is wearing? John Mayer totally went through that phase.

Also, is this Taylor‘s attempt at really trying to be a crossover artist from contemporary country to digitized, poppy club music? Because I think, if I absolutely had to choose, I’d go for corn grits and sunshine Taylor rather than dubstep in a sticky club Taylor. No thank you.

The best part of the video is probably watching “John Mayer” get his ass kicked by the pool table. The rest of it? Well. Unless you really like Taylor Swift, or this song, it’s kind of unwatchable.

The Best Blind Item Ever: Taylor Swift’s Pregnancy

A photo of Taylor Swift

Oh my god. Oh my god. This is crazy. If this blind item is true, then it is crazy. If the word didn’t bother me in this context, I would call it positively juicy. It’s that good.

From Blind Gossip:

This popular young celebrity is pretty and personable and every marketer’s dream. Most marketers would flinch, though, if one of her darkest secrets was to come to light.

There was a time when she actually dated guys in whom she was genuinely interested. One of these guys was a celebrity. Like other Good Girls before her, she fell hard for him, and had a physical relationship with him. But he was just using her. She was crushed when she figured that out. Even worse, she was pregnant.

There was never a question about her having the baby. Both she and her team were absolutely panic-stricken at thought of America’s Good Girl bearing a child out of wedlock by America’s Biggest Jerk.

The baby was terminated, the couple broke up, and she went back to being America’s Good Girl. It’s one of the reasons her team has been so eager since then to have her beard for gay male celebrities since then. It’s much, much safer that way.

John Mayer knocked up Taylor Swift. Just let that one sink in for a moment. Just process it. Oh my god.

Everything fits. Taylor Swift could certainly be called America’s Good Girl, John Mayer, well, we all know how jerky he is. And the photo that Blind Gossip used for this item is some drawing of a girl with blonde hair and wings, and she very obviously looks like Taylor. And also, that bit about “the other Good Girls” before her? Jennifer Aniston, another lady who got tangled in John Mayer’s dirty web, starred in a movie called The Good Girl. BOOM.

Can you see this story being true? Because I kind of can.

Another Day, Another Taylor Swift Interview About Love and Stuff

photo of taylor swift cosmopolitan pictures
I don’t have much of this new interview with Cosmo UK, because it only just hit stores today, but the bits and pieces I do have? Glorious. Taylor in her prime. You actually won’t even need to buy the damn magazine once you read these quotes, because really, why bother? It’s all the same, month after month, year after year; busted, overworked, overwrought vadge time and time again.

Here’s Taylor on her plethora of ludicrous relationships:

“[I don't know] how to make them last. I’ve never had a really long relationship, so I have no idea what that’s like. Wish me luck for the future!”

And Taylor on decoding her super-mysterious songs:

“The song I Knew You Were Trouble is about when I knowingly made the same mistake twice. I couldn’t resist it – there’s that temptation to push yourself into a risky situation with someone who is going to hurt you, and that’s what that song is about: not trusting your own instincts and ignoring all the red flag.”

And the best of all, Taylor on just now non-discriminating she’s become over the last couple of major relationship fails:

“I really don’t have any rules about dating when it comes to height, age, career choice, anything like that. It doesn’t matter. It’s really more about strength of character. When it comes to age I’ve been all over the map!”

Well gosh, I’m just so glad it’s about strength of character and nothing else. Because John Mayer? Well. That is one man of integrity, let me tell you. And Conor Kennedy? Yeah, he might have only been seventeen in body (twelve in mind) when he illegally banged Taylor, but he is *also* a man of firm principle.

Can I just stop for a second and say, “Hey, let’s be real, Taylor—it’s honestly about how hot the dude is, and how in-demand he is at the time.” Harry Styles? I mean, Jesus. You may as well have went for Justin Bieber for all it’s worth, but I don’t know. I think even Justin Bieber has standards when it comes to crazy, and you fall somewhere above Mad Torso Yeater on that scale.

Good looking out, girl.

Taylor Swift’s New Relationship “Has Tragedy Written All Over It”

A photo of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles

I’m sorry, guys. I know that headline made it sound like something really interesting was happening. It’s not, though. It’s Taylor Swift‘s same old story: fall in love with a dude after approximately 0.3 seconds, obsess and cling for a few weeks, and then drive him away with crazy. It’s just that this time her friends are all “girl, really?”

From Radar:

Apparently Taylor Swift only has One Direction when it comes to her dating style, and that is diving in headfirst!

The 22-year-old, who is known for falling in love with famous men and then slamming them with hit songs, is already smitten with her new boy band beau Harry Styles, but pals are worried that the country star is just repeating the same mistakes she always makes with men and that the relationship is doomed to a tragic ending, and has the details.

“Taylor calls him her boyfriend, but it’s in the early stages,” a Swift source dished to Us Weekly, revealing that Swift is already changing around her schedule and hopping on private jets to spend time with the 18-year-old teen heartthrob.

“It’s the same Taylor story – it has tragedy written all over it.”

According to the source, Taylor, who exclusively revealed, first cozied up to Harry in April 2012 and quietly dated before she caught him kissing another girl, had him back in her sights as her relationship with Conor Kennedy fizzled.

“The breakup with Conor was easy because she already had Harry in mind,” the source says. exclusively revealed back in November that Taylor and Harry were giving it a second shot, and they have been in contact ever since, according to the Us Weekly source.

“They have a lot in common. Harry is superclose with his mom and grateful for what he has. He is a good guy,” the source says. “Once he likes a girl, he’s all in,” says a source close to Harry. “He’s very romantic: long emails, surprise gifts, meticulously planned dates.”

Is it just me, or does “the same Taylor story” need to be made into a Lifetime movie? And also, how does this girl get away with creeping as hard as she does? When she started dating my favorite Taylor ex, Conor Kennedy, he was 17, but they didn’t go public until after his 18th birthday. And little Harry Styles, he was a brand new 18 when Taylor first hooked up with him. Is she going to keep getting older while they stay the same age? How is this not being widely reported as creepy behavior?