Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Love It or Leave It: Taylor Swift Can Still Do One Thing Right

A photo of Taylor Swift

Oh, Tay Tay. How can you hurt me so? You are just like that awful bitch in school that I hated with every fiber of my being, but every few months I’d awkwardly walk up to her, grit my teeth, and ask “where did you get your dress?” Damn you and your awesome fashion, Taylor Swift. Damn you.

But, ok, this is what Taylor wore to that Kennedy gala last night. Remember that? Way back in the golden days of Mr. and Mrs. Taylor Kennedy, it was announced that Taylor would be receiving the Ripple of Hope Award from the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice & Human Rights. And even though Taylor has moved on from the Kennedys for now, she still got the award.

Conor wasn’t there or anything (it’s probably finals week at his high school), but his aunts gave Taylor her award. I hear it was pretty awkward, but I don’t have any videos. So just imagine what it would be like if you had to go to some big event and hang out with your ex-boyfriend’s family all night. But now imagine that you’re wearing that dress. Is it worth it?

Look! Taylor Swift and Her New Boyfriend Had a Baby Already!

photo of taylor swift and harry styles pictures at central park zoo pic
Well “had” I would suppose isn’t exactly the right term to use, so let’s go and say “have,” because it’s definitely truer. However, as it’s today, and today is a whole day after all this happened, I think it might be passable to say “Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend had a baby” and leave the “already” out of there, as if it were something we were expecting (because honestly speaking, of course we weren’t). Alright?

No, this is Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend, Harry Styles of One Direction, with a baby. A friend’s baby, to be exact, and they’re all hanging out at the Central Park Zoo in New York City, because duh, babies like zoos. And what better way to come across all hot and MILF-y and maternal than to get that male estrogen going by showing a young man on the brink of puberty that it’s time to settle down and get married and talk babies?

Damn, guys. This girl just doesn’t play around.

BREAKING: Taylor Swift Talks About Love

A photo of Taylor Swift

I’m just going to tell you guys the same thing that I’ve had to tell my mom over and over: I love you, I really do, and I respect your opinions, and I’m so thankful for all you’ve done for me, but I’m a grown woman, I can make my own choices, and I need you to get off my jock. That’s what I’ve told her every single time she’s questioned one of my life choices, and that’s what I’m telling you now. I love talking about Taylor Swift. Probably I’ll never stop talking about Taylor Swift. But I need you to love me and accept me in spite of that.

Like, ok, if you work in a restaurant, don’t you ever sample some food? If you work in an office, haven’t you taken a few pens home on occasion? Taylor Swift is my office supply. And I will always take it.

Oh, but let’s discuss her stupid new interview now, all right?

On not remembering all her true loves: “I tend to think things are love and then look back and reevaluate. How many times has she been in love? I don’t know how many people I’ve said ‘I love you’ to. I could probably count it up, but I don’t feel like it. Part of me feels you can’t say you were truly in love if it didn’t last. If I end up getting married and having kids, that’s when I’ll know it’s real—because it lasted.”

Tay Tay doesn’t think things through: “I don’t think there’s an option for me to fall in love slowly, or at medium speed. I either do or I don’t. I don’t think it through, really, which is a good thing and a bad thing. You don’t look before you leap, which is like, ‘Yay, this is awesome! Let’s not think twice!’ And then you’re like, ‘We used to be flying. Now we’re falling. What’s happening?’”

On her beloved bad boys: “There’s a really interesting charisma involved. They usually have a lot to say, and even if they don’t, they know how to look at you to say it all. I think every girl’s dream is to find a bad boy at the right time, when he wants to not be bad anymore.”

Oh, shut your silly mouth, Taylor Swift! I would tell you to get over yourself, but how could I when that’s something that I so obviously cannot do myself?

But Of Course Taylor Swift is Buying a House Near Her New Boyfriend

photo of taylor swift and harry styles pictures
She’s just so predictable, isn’t she? This new-ish boyfriend, though, One Direction’s Harry Styles, must really be something special, because she waited, what, actual weeks to find a house next to her ex-boyfriend, Conor Kennedy? Yep, this one, this Harry Styles boy, has just definitely got to be The One, and isn’t that lucky for all of us—Taylor especially?

Sources say that Taylor is browsing property in North London, where Harry himself just bought a house earlier in the year. Sources are even going as far to say that Taylor is conferring with Harry on which properties are best, so she’s even giving him an official heads-up that she’s going to be living probable blocks away. He hasn’t run away screaming yet, so that’s promising, isn’t it?

From the Daily Mail:

A source told LOOK magazine: ‘She’s been interested in buying a house in the UK for a while. But after months of not really mentioning it, Taylor’s suddenly instructed an estate to get on it ASAP!
‘She’s even asked Harry if he’ll come and look at some places with her, since he knows the area.’

The insider added: ‘Taylor says the reason things fizzled out last time [they dated] was because they had no time together. I’m sure their recent contact is behind her sudden enthusiasm to buy in London. She says they’ll be able to pick up where they left off.’

You guys will remember, of course, that little Conor Kennedy isn’t the first boyfriend she purchased a house near, whether it’s purely coincidence or not. Taylor owns a house just down the road from John Mayer, and when she was dating Jake Gyllenhaal, she lured him to her very own compound in Nashville for weeks at a time, rumored to be hoping that he’d love the area her so much that he’d plunk down some cash for his own bit of real estate near her, too. It’s apparent that when her plan backfired, she decided to take matters into her own hands and start stalking all of her resulting boyfriend prospects via property acquisition, one state and continent at a time.

Psst. It’s working—we’re talking total world domination here, guys.


A photo of Taylor Swift

Don’t freak out, but I think maybe she actually did. This very hilarious photo was taken on the set of Taylor‘s new music video, “I Knew You Were Trouble,” but every single report I’ve read about this claims that she actually did cut her hair and dye the tips pink. It could all be a lie, of course. As we all know, celebrity gossip is fickle bitch, and there’s no real way of telling what’s true and what’s not.

Except in this case, probably. If you know about hair, you can probably tell if she’s wearing a wig or not. So is she?

Bonus question: how do you bleach your roots? I can bleach my whole head by myself, but everything I’ve read about bleaching your roots just says to use lots of clips to get different sections of your hair, and I don’t have enough hair to clip. Help, friends!

Taylor Swift Has a New Boyfriend That People Are Going to be All Angry Over

photo of taylor swift and harry styles pictures
From People:

“I had to literally do a double-take,” an onlooker tells PEOPLE of finding Styles, 18, with Swift, 22, on the set of The X Factor Thursday morning.

Styles was on hand to watch Swift rehearse the debut of “State of Grace,” which she performed later that night on the Fox reality show.

“He was smiling at her while she rehearsed. When she was done he jumped up on stage, picked her up, put her over his shoulder and carried her off stage,” the onlooker says. “The whole crew was really surprised.”

The young singers were also spotted by X Factor host Mario Lopez, who says he was slapped on the back by Styles during Swift’s rehearsal.

“I said, ‘What are you doing here,’ ” Lopez said on his 104.3 MY FM radio show Friday. “And he sort of [pointed] toward Taylor.”

Lopez went on to say he later saw the two “hand-in-hand.”

A telling sign of the budding relationship may have been a look Styles shared with his bandmate Niall Horan a week earlier after Horan told PEOPLE his favorite song of 2012 was Swift’s “Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

When asked if he would ever date Swift, Horan gave a small laugh, looked at Styles and answered with a succinct, “no.”

Oh good grief. Can’t wait to see how this one plays out. I mean, do you realize that Taylor Swift‘s dated the following people: Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Cory Monteith, Toby Hemingway, Jake Gyllenhaal, Zac Efron, Garrett Hedlund, Eddie Redmayne, Conor Kennedy, and now, One Direction’s Harry Styles. Who’s next? Is there many top-notch young men out there who haven’t dated Taylor Swift, or who, at least, haven’t been pursued by her? I’m not calling her a slut by any means, because damn. Those are some enviable dudes (Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Garrett Hedlund are definitely most impressive) and you know what? F-ck these backhanded little songs that she writes and performs—I want her to write a damn book detailing this this, because seriously. You just can’t make it up. Know what she should title it, too? I’m thinking something like this: ‘The Girl With the Golden Gitch’. That sounds about right.

Taylor Swift Wears Pants

A photo of Taylor Swift

It’s true, believe it or not! Taylor Swift wears pants sometimes instead of dresses, and that’s the most important thing about her, according to this month’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar. Girl wears pants. Literally and figuratively.

Let’s read her interview together, shall we?

On dresses (not pants): “There’s just something so feminine about a dress. Whether it’s a summertime dress that makes me feel carefree, an evening cocktail dress that makes me feel fancy, or a vintage dress that makes me feel like a ’50s housewife—which I enjoy feeling like, for some reason—I just really like dresses.”

On wearing pants for the photo shoot: I think doing something that’s different, that’s out of your comfort zone is important. Personal growth, let’s call it that.”

On her BFFs: “We never talk about fashion, about career, about our ambitions or our projects. We just talk about relationships, feelings, love, and boys.”

On the terrifying nature of pants in relationships: “It needs to be equal. If I feel too much like I’m wearing the pants, I start to feel uncomfortable and then we break up.” Relationships are “the ultimate collaboration,” she adds, but sometimes “it’s wonderful to hand over the reins to your boyfriend when you control so much of these big, high-pressure decisions, you know? That is a huge defining factor in who you choose to be with.”

On blogs: “What I had to learn to do, in order to maintain a general happiness in my life, was to stop reading everything. And then it gets really bad if you go through a breakup and those blogs have these polls asking, ‘Who should they date next?’ And you’re just sitting there staring at the laptop bawling.”

On booooys: “Some combinations of people are toxic, you know? You have to find the right one that isn’t just going to explode into fiery ash and destruction.”

On writing songs about boooooys: “Despite all of that and how unpleasant it is, as a writer you get a lot from it. It’s a crazy justification system. You know that guy you really wish you could erase from your memory? But then the answer is track six, eight, 12, and 13.”

Every Taylor Swift interview makes me want to shove my head in an oven, and this one is no exception, but her obvious psycho tendencies are always so baffling to me. This girl will be 23 years old in a month and she STILL talks like this. She doesn’t talk about careers or ambitions or anything else with her friends besides BOYS. And she basically admitted that she used to read gossip blogs about herself and cry. And she referred to wearing pants as something that is out of her comfort zone. Ugh. Ugh for days.

Check out the gallery, where Taylor will shock you with her many pairs of pants.