Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Still Doesn’t Get It

A photo of Taylor Swift

I’m sorry (no, I’m not), but Taylor Swift is really, really dumb. She’s smart with some things, of course, like writing songs that little girls will fall in love with and all that, but for the most part, she’s just a big dummy.

Here’s what I mean: we all understand why Taylor Swift is dumb. We all get it. We all get that she’s creepy and obsessive and weird, and that she tries to cover all that up by pretending to be an angelic, virginal 12-year-old girl. That’s all very clear to us, right? But not to Taylor. She just doesn’t get it.

Check out this thing that she said recently:

“People say that I’m buying houses all the time that I’m not buying. It’s like every time the press thinks I like a guy, they say I am buying a house next to them. And also they think they know what I’m getting people for Christmas, which they don’t. I was thinking when I saw that one (rumor) that if they actually got it right I would be so sad because they would have blown my Christmas present, but they were all wrong.”

Because that’s the thing people make fun of her for, buying houses. Ugh. This is like Lindsay Lohan doing an interview and saying “guys, I don’t really have sex with Terry Richardson!” Like, ok, that’s one tiny, old rumor addressed, but how about every other thing that’s wrong with you?

There’s also another story about Tay Tay going around (I have to cram in an extra one, guys, because this is my very last time talking to you about this girl! Can you even imagine?!). It seems like she’s basically been crying nonstop ever since Harry Styles broke up with her. Poor thing. Some source said that “she is a complete mess,” and that it’s really hurting her feelings how everyone’s pointing out the fact that she’s crazy.

My favorite part, though, is about how Tina Fey made a joke about her at the Golden Globes. Here’s how Taylor apparently reacted afterwards:

”That’s when it hit her that she has such a horrible reputation, it could affect her professionally.”

GIRL, LOL! Do you think, maybe?

Blind Items: Taylor Swift is a Beard Again

photo of taylor swift and harry styles pictures, photos
From Blind Gossip:

This cute young celebrity is in a tough spot. He wants to live as his real self, but he is part of a group that could suffer if his image changes.

Here’s the situation: He is gay. He has always been gay. But the role he has to play is one which girls would find attractive. So for the past couple of years, he has been pretending to be straight, and pretending to enjoy girls idolizing him.

Now he is growing increasingly uncomfortable with that role. He is frustrated that he can’t openly date guys his age. He is not the only one in his group of colleagues who feels this way. However, for now, he is the only one who has been pushing management to allow him to be the “The Gay One”. He really wouldn’t mind that label at all. The others are trying to stay out of the controversy. While they are privately supportive of him, they are content to play the public game of pretending that they are all straight as long as the paychecks keep rolling in.

His management team – which is substantially older than him – vehemently opposes his coming out. They have made it very clear to him that they are there to sell an image, not to cater to his personal desires to come out. They believe in the more old-fashioned “girls are only interested in straight boy celebrities” school of thought. They don’t believe that a gay young celebrity will sell. They are so convinced of this that they have warned him that if he goes rogue and announces that he is gay, and fans tune out… he will lose his job.

It’s Harry Styles, right? One Direction and Harry Styles? Who else could it be? It’s not as if there are any super-mega popular boybands out there these days, unless you count Backstreet Boys, but I think that ship has sailed for a variety of reasons. One, they’re not spring chickens anymore, guys. Two? Didn’t one of them already come out as gay? Wait, no. That was *N Sync—Lance Bass. Alright, not the Backstreet Boys.

I’m going to go with Harry Styles, because that’s the easy thing, and when all else fails, you go for easy, right? Isn’t that why he was “dating” Taylor Swift to begin with?

The REAL Reason Why Haylor Is No More

A photo of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles

That caught your attention, didn’t it? Otherwise I’m sure you would have been like “another Taylor Swift story, are you serious?” But because this is the REAL reason why Taylor and Harry Styles broke up, you can’t resist, right?

WAIT. Don’t go yet! Even if you’re sick of hearing about Taylor Swift, you’ll want to hear this. I promise.

Ok, here’s the reason: Harry Styles is not circumcised. That’s it. He’s uncircumcised, and Taylor didn’t like it. She kept talking about his foreskin, and even after he “made it clear he had no intention of changing anything,” she “never missed the chance to poke fun or make a comment.” She even told him that he should get a circumcision. He ignored her at first, but then she brought it up one too many times, and he was out.

(By the way, this story is from the National Enquirer. There’s a solid chance this isn’t true. But don’t crush my dreams.)

This bitch. She would make fun of a dude’s junk right to his face, wouldn’t she? And she would also tell her boyfriend of two weeks that he needed to get circumcised. Just think about that. Just think about the gall that would take. Seriously, think about it. Maybe if you have a new boyfriend who happens to be in the same way, maybe just drop that line during your next date. Poke fun at it in the bedroom. See how it goes over!

But hey: this, this right here, is why I can’t quit Taylor Swift. If I didn’t obsessively read every single thing I can about her, then I would miss out on gems like this. And then where would we be?

Winter White: Who Did It Better, J Lo or Taylor Swift?

photo of taylor swift versus j lo pictures, photos
So I’m going to go with J Lo, because quite honestly, I’m sort of biased against Taylor Swift these days. Yeah, girlfriend’s pretty much got fashion and what not on lockdown, but I’m so sick to death of seeing her stupid, smug face all over the place, and this is why I’m rooting for the lady who’s defined by her weird boyfriend as of late, instead.

Who wore it better—J Lo or Taylor Swift?

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Taylor Swift Tried to Win Back Harry Styles, Harry Styles Isn’t Interested

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

From Radar:

Harry Styles snubbed his one-time girlfriend, Taylor Swift, during her recent brief visit to London, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

The One Direction heartthrob declined the 23-year-old country singer’s offer to meet up in England’s capital, after she flew in, primarily for a photo shoot, but with the added hope of wooing back the Brit boybander.

Both Swift and Styles are expected to appear at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes, France this weekend, where Taylor is hoping to convince the 18-year-old that they should give their relationship another go.

“Taylor was desperate to meet up with Harry in London, but he totally ignored her,” a source tells Radar. “He told her he had too much going on, even though she purposely arranged to stay at a hotel that wasn’t too far away from his home.

“Harry found Taylor a little too full-on and scary, and he was put off by how serious she was about him after such a short period of time. Then she had this crazy meltdown, accusing him of cheating, when he didn’t. It freaked him out to say the least and he’s kind of thinking she’s more drama than she’s worth.

“Harry’s just a young guy looking for a bit of fun right now and is having the time of his life with gorgeous girls throwing themselves at his feet. He really isn’t looking to settle down with the love of his life, but suspects that Taylor is.

“They’re going to run into each other in Cannes though,” the source continues. “So Taylor will get a second chance to try and win Harry back. And he better be on his game as by all accounts, Taylor can be pretty charming and convincing when she’s face to face with her intended target.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Taylor demanded a showdown with Harry after she believed he cheated on her.

“Taylor has serious trust issues, something that is being severely tested dating Harry,” a source previously told Radar. “Harry courts a lot of attention. He’s a big flirt and loves the ladies. Taylor doesn’t like that and finds it very difficult to trust him.

“She thought he was cheating on her when they were apart over the holidays so she ended it, telling him she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that.”

However, in true Taylor style, it appears she’s had a change of heart…. yet again!

Oh, Taylor. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. This is exactly what you don’t want to do. You can’t get with the guy you’re stalking by actually stalking him. I know, I know, you used to date or whatever, but things changed when you revealed your true face: your crazy face. Your relationship is not what it once was. It’s no longer based on mutual affection, hang outs, and boob touching, no. Now it’s based on a very real fear.

You did this to yourself, girl. So change your tactics. Instead of flying thousands of miles to stay a few away from his house, maybe just keep some distance and do your own thing. Instead of sending him pages of your diary that you wrote in your own blood, try sending him a casual text. Do you get what I’m saying? What I’m saying is “stop.”

Taylor Swift Went to London to Win Back Harry Styles

A photo of Taylor Swift

Oh, and just to clarify, after that picture: I don’t think she swam. HA!

From Radar:

Taylor Swift‘s headed in one direction: across the pond to England for a showdown with her ex, boy bander Harry Styles, three weeks after their split.

The We Are Never Getting Back Together singer, 23, arrived via private jet at London’s Luton airport, clad in a heavy green coat and sipping on a Diet Coke. She checked into a hotel near the teen idol‘s home, a source told the UK Sun.

“There’s talk of a meeting with Harry being on the cards,” the source told the English publication, adding that Taylor “has no obvious reason or promo duties in London this week.”

The timing couldn’t be better, the source said, adding, “Harry has just got back from a small tour in Japan with the band, and now has four days off.”

Oh my gosh, you guys, how romantic! Could you even imagine? Taylor Swift knows a true love when she finds one – after all, she’s had several – and it’s just so inspiring that she would travel so far just to earn back his love. And yeah, some people are calling this stalking. But remember, it’s not stalking if it’s your soulmate!

Quotables: Taylor Swift Is A Liar

A photo of Taylor Swift

“I’m a Sagittarius, which means, you know, I’m blindly optimistic, I love to travel, I’m always up for adventure but also always want something new. Sagittarians are really independent, and we like our space. We’re drawn to love but battle for that need for independence. Independence is something I’ve always needed, from when I was young, but I love the idea of romance and falling in love. I’ve never really had a long relationship. So that’s something I think about for the future. It’s an interesting part of my personality: Part of me just wants to be alone.”

- Taylor Swift discusses how her astrological sign makes her a crazy face.

But I called Taylor a liar up there in the headline because of the very last part of her quote there. There is no part of Taylor Swift that wants to be alone. Taylor Swift wants a hand to literally hold forever, except when she’s pooping, which she never ever does. She needs someone to sit with in her giant bird cage, someone who wants to have at least 15 babies and take care of them while she writes passive aggressive songs about him. And most of all, she wants someone who would never, ever get mad at her for writing those passive aggressive songs.