Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Thinks She Might Be Single Forever

Right, let’s just get right into this one: Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend every .5 seconds, but she’s starting to think she may end up being single forever and has no idea if she’ll ever be able to settle down. Speaking as if she’s saying something entirely new for someone in her early 20s, Taylor admitted that she doesn’t really know where she is in life or how she’s feeling at any given time. Yeah, welcome to young adulthood, lady.

From Wonderland:

“I’ve kind of realized that I have no idea where I’m going to be next year, or in six months, or in two months. mean, I know where I’ll be on tour in two months, but no idea where I’m going to be mentally, emotionally, dreams, goals, wishes, hopes.

“I have no idea if I’m going to get married or be single forever or have a family or just be on my own. You know, paint in a cottage by the ocean by myself. I just have no idea and I’m kind of into that.”

Is that going to happen? Most likely not, but if it does? Live it up, girl. There ain’t shit wrong with being on your own and doing your own thing, especially when you’re rich because then you can REALLY do whatever you want in life. Money buys happiness, didn’t you know? (SARCASM ALERT!) I say all this as someone who is happily taken for good, but when I was single, I wasn’t phased by it – nor was I out at clubs or bars looking for anyone else. I was sitting in my living room rolling blunts and watching Total Wipeout, so take that as you will.

Anyway, Taylor needs to realise that she’s young as hell and ain’t nobody trying to get hitched at 23 or 24 or whatever she is. Take time away from boyzzzz to find yourself, girl. You’ll be better for it – and probably a lot less annoying, as well.

Whimsy Fest 2013: Taylor Swift Is Going to Guest Star On ‘New Girl’

taylor swift zooey deschanel new girl

Taylor Swift is still not content with ruining the music world (I kid! I love you, TSwift!) and has decided to further widen her repertoire to television, where she’ll be joining sister in whimsy Zooey Deschanel over on New Girl during the show’s upcoming season finale.

From Entertainment Weekly:

Taylor Swift is guest-starring in the May 14 episode of the Fox comedy, EW has learned. The country pop star will play a character named Elaine, who is an “important guest” at the wedding of Cece (Hannah Simone) and Shivrang (Satya Bhabha).

The singer-songwriter and  New Girl fan has been name-checked multiple times on the show this season: In one episode, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) sent Cece a text in which he said he was going through a “Taylor Swift-like range of emotions,” while in another, Nick (Jake Johnson) tried to cheer up a heartbroken Jess (Zooey Deschanel) with unfortunate dance moves while she moaned, “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone,” and “22? played in the background.

I mean, I know Taylor was in Valentine’s Day and did that whole CSI thing, but I feel like New Girl is the perfect vehicle for her particular brand of la-di-da, pixie joie de vivre, or whatever the hell it is. I haven’t watched New Girl since towards the end of the first season because I’m terrible on watching TV when it’s not something I can binge through entire seasons on, but I will get to it eventually.

Taylor Swift and John John Florence Are the Talk of the Surfing Community

john john florence taylor swift

Some surfer bro called John John Florence (what a dumb name) hinted on Australian TV earlier this week that he’s (not) getting it on with Taylor Swift by saying that he’s “not supposed to comment about that” and that their relationship is “kind of a secret thing going on right now” that he “can’t bust out in the public just yet”. Uh, what? Shut up, John John, you’re annoying me already.

In any case, Taylor’s people have vigorously denied these stories and said there’s no way she’s hooking up with this albino looking motherf-cker.

From E! News:

Rumor has it that the 23-year-old singer recently initiated contact with rather adorable 20-year-old pro surfer and that the pair have been growing closer via text message ever since.

Or not.

Sources assure E! News that “there is no truth to this at all,” and that “Taylor is not dating—or texting—this guy.”

Whatever, maybe she is dating this human Hugga Bunch. I don’t even care anymore. Everyone just do whatever.

Taylor Swift Admits She Wrote ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ About Harry Styles

taylor swift harry styles

This story isn’t so much a surprise as it is an LOL moment, since Taylor Swift has finally admitted that she wrote her hit single ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ about none other than One Direction singer and ex-boyfriend Harry Styles.

From The Sunday Times (via DigitalSpy)

“You’re balancing the analytical side of your brain, which is telling you where to go and how to go there, with the other side of your brain, which is saying, ‘Feel everything you’re singing, and show it on your face. Feel everything exactly as you felt it when you wrote the song’,” Swift told The Sunday Times magazine.

Asked how she felt knowing Styles was watching the performance [at the 2013 BRIT awards] in the audience, she replied: “Well, it’s not hard to access that emotion when the person the song is directed at is standing by the side of the stage watching.”

Oh, snap! The one thing about this that doesn’t make sense, though, is the timeline. Didn’t Taylor and Harry start dating well after the Red album, which ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ appears on, was released? How could it have been about him when she wrote it ages before they even met/got together?

Whatever, we’ll just go with it.

64-year-old Steven Tyler Thinks 23-year-old Taylor Swift Is “Hot”

Ain’t shit wrong with dating someone older or younger than yourself, but there are (or should be) laws of decency when it comes to commenting on someone’s physical assets… especially when the one doing the commenting is a 64-year-old man and the person he’s talking about is a 23-year-old (possibly virginal, LOLZ) girl. Then it’s more than a little creepy. Steven Tyler does nothing if not embody that word, though, because he’s revealed that he thinks Taylor Swift is “hot” and he’d love to work with her. Oh, I bet he would.

From US Weekly:

Responding to a fun question about who he’d intern for, the 64-year-old rock legend said, “She’s blonde with all the hits. Taylor Swift. She’s hot.”

“More than that, she’s beyond talented,” he continued of the Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, 23. “I have to write a song with her.”

I love that even US Weekly has to try to frame it as a “fun question”. But there’s nothing fun about being hit on by a dude old enough to be your grandfather and this is something Steven made a habit of back on American Idol, as well. Hello, does anyone remember the whole Shannon Magrane fiasco? She was only 15 when he referred to her as “hot” in front of her dad. Tone it down, bro.

Anyway, I think luckily, this is one bit of fan mail that will be headed straight for the garbage, if you feel me.

Put Your Pens Down: Taylor Swift Is Putting Your Fan Mail in the Trash

Oh, dear. Looks like there’s a reason Taylor Swift didn’t show up at your doorstep in a limo on the night of your junior prom even though you wrote her and asked her to be your date like, six times. Turns out, she’s not reading your fan mail – it’s going in the trash before it even has a chance.

From ABC’s WKRN Nashville affiliate:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Hundreds of letters addressed to country superstar Taylor Swift were discovered in a south Nashville recycling dumpster over the weekend.

The letters, many of which were unopened, were found by Kylee Francescan who was disposing of her own items at the dumpster at Granberry School, located off of Old Hickory Boulevard.

“I was like, ‘That’s weird,’” she told Nashville’s News 2 Investigates.  “There were like hundreds of letters in there to Taylor Swift and I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh!’ I didn’t know if they were stolen [or] discarded, so I threw them in a box. And I’m like, ‘Somebody needs to let Taylor know.’”

Many of the letters, which were from all over the world, were covered with pictures, hearts and sparkles were addressed to Taylor Swift Entertainment, a P.O. Box located at a strip mall at 242 West Main Street in Hendersonville.

The owner of the strip mall told Nashville’s News 2 Investigates Swift does receive box loads of fan mail at the P.O. Box and that someone from the country singer’s staff picks up the mail periodically.

Oh, snap! This obviously was done on purpose, but of course Taylor’s label promises that’s not the case and that Taylor will get your shit. Uh huh.

On Monday, Nashville’s News 2′s Andy Cordan took the letters to Swift’s record label, Big Machine Records on Music Row.

A man at the record company said he is unsure why the letters were in the dumpster.

Nashville’s News 2 Investigates reached out to Swift’s management team who said in a release they were unaware of the fan mail, but a spokesperson said they were very concerned about the matter.

“Taylor gets thousands of fan letters everyday and they are delivered to her management office. After the letters are opened and read, they are recycled,” spokesperson Paula Erickson said.

Erickson continued, “The only explanation for any letters being unopened would be that a small batch of mail that was supposed to be delivered to Taylor was accidentally put with letters headed for the recycling center. We sincerely appreciate Channel 2 bringing this to our attention, and we plan to immediately pick up the mail.”

The letters have since been given to a messenger from Swift’s public relations firm. The letters will be handled appropriately.

I’m probably jumping the gun in saying that she’ll get them – the PR firm says they’ll be “handled appropriately”. Sorry, guys. They’re going right back in the trash.

No One Wants To Buy Magazines With Taylor Swift On The Cover

taylor swift cosmo cosmopolitan magazine

Taylor Swift can sell albums but she can’t sell magazines. Magazines with Taylor Swift on the cover don’t move off the shelves compared to other celebrities. For example, Lady Gaga sold 602,000 copies of Vogue, whereas Ms. Swift’s cover only moved 329,371. We should point out though, as does The Gloss, that Gaga covered the September issue, Vogue’s most popular issue of the year. Also, Gaga’s fan base is probably a lot bigger; she has the most followers on Twitter, heads and shoulders above other celebs.

However…Adele‘s Vogue cover sold 410,343, still beating Swift by a significant amount.

And even more embarrassing, her Glamour cover (443,000 copies) was beaten by Lauren Conrad (500,000)! Lauren Conrad, seriously? Who are these people who care about Lauren Conrad? And here’s another little scoop:

She had already been booked for Cosmopolitans December cover when Joanna Coles came on as editor in chief of the sex-and-makeup monthly. Swift flopped, with the issue the weakest in a year that underperformed overall — she sold a little over a million copies, or 20 percent below the six-month average that ended in December 2012. Swift was even outsold by actress Zooey Deschanel, who took the dubious honor of having the year’s second-worst seller.

In all fairness, Cosmopolitan sucks.

So what’s the…issue here? (SEE WHAT I DID THERE, WOW!) Why isn’t her image selling? Are people, specifically women, sick of Taylor Swift? Do her fans not buy magazines? Are her interviews not interesting enough to read? Is it just too much Taylor?

Ms. Swifty Swift is currently on the cover of Vanity Fair and InStyle.