Hennessy and cash money, everybody – what makes for a more solid foundation for a relationship than that?  A shared talent for making shitty, unbearable music, you say?  Well, then it looks like T-Pain and Ke$ha have the trifecta, so don’t expect to see K-Pain fade away anytime soon!

Just to let you enjoy this classic romance* a little longer, I’ll show you the origins (from Twitter, natch):

And that’s how a loving relationship is born, kids.  Was there ever a romance with such strong roots, such tangible passion?

*Of course no one knows if this is a legit romance or if it’s just a couple of jokesters having a a good laugh.  I’m not all too familiar with T-Pain, but me and Ke$ha go way back, and I feel like she wouldn’t include such an innocent bottle of booze if it was just a joke, right? Also, I’m aware that T-Pain is married, but, uh, open your eyes to the real world.  I’m going to choose to believe in these two free-spirited lovers, what about you?

You can find the interview here in all its glory, but I believe my favorite part was when Travie asked Gabe what would happen in a fight between Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers.  Gabe answered correctly, stating

Dude, Bieber would own all the JoBros with one arm tied behind his back. Bieber’s from the streets; he ain’t nevah scurred. Their purity rings wouldn’t stand a chance against his skills. And he’d have no remorse either.

Amen, Gabe Saporta.  Bieber 4 Lyfe.

While I love this interview, really I just wanted a reason to talk about what I’ve been up to in recent days, and that is road-tripping my ass off to get to a Cobra Starship show in Atlanta.  That happened Monday night, and let me just tell you that if you don’t love Cobra Starship, then I don’t know what else you’re doing in your life.  From the band’s origins to the ways they spend their free time now that they’re kind of famous, they are clearly superior to the vast majority of popular bands today.

Travie McCoy also played, and he had a surprise guest:  T-Pain. Apparently they did a song together on Travie’s new album, but I’m not sure because when he came out, I was promptly shoved about two feet forward and I felt like I should stop listening for a minute to introduce myself to the girl whose ass I was all up on.  3OH!3 was there too, and they were fun, but my friend passed out about three songs in and had to be carried over the barrier, so I left to check on her.  Also, some tall douchebag next to me kept fist-pumping and kept elbowing my head, so I was kind of over it.

For Cobra Starship I slipped back in to a more tame part of the crowd, and I threw my fangs up like it was my job.  Because Cobra Starship is amazing. Have you learned yet?

“Next on my list is Carrie Underwood. I swear to God. Everybody else can suck it until I get to Carrie Underwood.”

- Auto-tune Superstar T-Pain, telling USA Today who he wants to work with next and who can do you-know-what to his you-know-where in the meantime.

Ummmmm have I mentioned today that I am in love with Taylor Swift? No?

I am.

Hip-Hop star T-Pain (best known to some of you as one of the guys who’s “on a boat”) and wife Amber welcomed new son Kaydnz Koda Najm this weekend.
Proud papa T-pain posted the above picture of little Kaydnz on his Twiiter account.

Now, I’m not one of those people who thinks all babies are automatically cute. Some babies are ugly.  As a non-breeder, one of my favorite games to play in the grocery store is “Spot the wizened, world-weary baby who looks like he has a ton of street smarts.” But little Kaydnz here is a seriously adorable little cutie. Look at those squishy cheeks!!

If you’re wondering how to pronounce the name, I’m guessing it’s something like “Kay-dinz.”

Since T-Pain is a practicing Muslim whose real name is Faheem Rasheed Najm, I was debating whether the unfamiliar name “Kaydnz” had some religious or cultural significance, or was just a horrible play on the word “cadence.” Then I found out the names of T-Pain’s other two children– Lyriq and Muziq. Case closed.