“The last one, not this Nazi one we have now.”

—Susan Sarandon, clarifying that she mailed a copy of the book Dead Man Walking to Pope John Paul II. She certainly never mailed anything to that other guy, Pope Benedict XVI! What a total Nazi!

About that whole Pope Benedict XVI thing: the president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, Bill Donohue, has issued a statement. “The fact is that Joseph Ratzinger (the pope) was conscripted at the age of 14 into the Hitler Youth,” Donohue writes, “along with every other young German boy.

“Unlike most of the other teenagers, Ratzinger refused to go to meetings, bringing economic hardship to his family. Moreover, unlike most of the others, he deserted at the first opportunity.”

Donohue also spoke to E! News. “She’s a despicable person to make these kinds of despicable remarks,” he said. “It is very hard to find someone dumber than her.”

I know, I know, right? But don’t get too excited just yet … it’s just a themed photo shoot featuring the original Thelma and Louise, Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis.

The ladies will are set to reprise their roles for a photo segment in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair in order to commemorate the film’s 20 year anniversary.

Damn.  Twenty years. Thelma & Louise came out twenty years ago. And I remember it vividly. Not that, you know, I was allowed to watch it or anything, but I can remember my mother and her best friend getting all dolled up to go and see what was touted as the latest and greatest of the early-nineties cult chick flicks.  My dad made his specialty dish that night – Kraft macaroni and cheese (The wagon wheels, bitches) – and I waited up all night for my mom to come home and tell me about her jaunt to the theater.

Though I wasn’t able to watch it ’til I was much older (I was a mere eight years old in 1991), I vaguely remember my mother and her girlfriend making Thelma & Louise related comments for years thereafter, and I’d pretend I understood the innuendos and chuckle along, like I was some kind of worldly, hip, sophisticate with a bevy of celebrity knowledge.

Apparently some things never change.

“People were coming up to me in the street and saying, ‘I cried and cried when I heard.’ … Well, I was sadder! I didn’t think it would ever happen, either. You bring people into your life at certain times. Maybe you have a relationship to have children, and you realize that it’s fulfilled after that point.”

The always-classy and tactful Susan Sarandon on the dissolution of her twenty-three year relationship with fellow actor Tim Robbins. May your relationship rest in piece, girl.

But don’t worry, it’s going to be nothing but class.

“It won’t be the Jersey Shore. It’s more of an episodic documentary. We’re trying to invent something you haven’t seen before that follows a bunch of people in this crazy little subculture.”

What subculture is she talking about, you may ask.  And the answer is “ping-pong.”  Because apparently there’s a ping-pong subculture, and Susan Sarandon is really into it.  Who knew?

Susan is an investor in a ping-pong nightclub, SPiN, and she calls herself the “Johnny Appleseed of ping-pong.”  She wants to showcase the growth of the club and the ping-pong players that frequent it, a few of which she believes will make it to the Olympics.

As for when to be expecting this show, Susan doesn’t know that. She’s unsure what network the show should be on because she wants the show to be “quite different than anything else that anybody’s seen before.”

I had no idea ping-pong was this big of a deal.  When I first heard the story, I thought it made sense, but then I realized I was thinking of beer pong, not ping-pong, so I went right back to square one.  And believe me, I love me some Susan Sarandon, but I don’t see me ever watching a show about a ping-pong nightclub.  What about you guys?

I chose this story just because I wanted to write that headline.

Susan went to The Box in New York to celebrate the burlesque club’s third anniversary and was vomited on by transvestite performer Rose Wood while Wood was on stage.

“She actually handled it very well,” a source said. “She was laughing while a bunch of guys came over to towel her off.”

Chances are the performer won’t handle it as well. From here on out, she’ll probably be known as “the one that vomited on Susan Sarandon.”

I don’t know if this is really “news”, but other websites have decided it is,  so I’m just regurgitating it for you because it’s the perfect example of how ridiculous celebrity gossip can get.

Does it really matter if Susan Sarandon got barfed on by a tranny? I guess it does, because I find it very funny in that “life is utterly ridiculous and anything can happen” sort of way.

Talk about media pros!

After 23 years together, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins — the original Ashton and Demi — broke up this summer. Their rep issued the following statement today:

“Actress Susan Sarandon and her partner of 23 years, actor Tim Robbins have announced that they separated over the summer. No further comments will be made.”

I wonder if they discussed this during their summer break-up. Like, “This sucks, but let’s wait until it’s basically Christmas Eve to announce it so it’s not a media firestorm.” That’s how you do it when you’ve been around the block a few times, I guess.

The couple have two sons together, Jack, 20, and Miles, 17.

I’m genuinely sorry to hear of their split, but, to be fair, they made it way longer than most married couples. That was an impressive run, you two! You should be proud of yourselves. The pic above is of the twosome at the 1989 Golden Globes.