Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Stars Without Makeup

Stars Without Makeup: Ashley Tisdale

photo of ashley tisdale no makeup pics photos
Hey, guys, look: it’s Ashley Tisdale, and she’s not wearing any makeup. :X

See, it’s these kinds of photos make me so happy. Gleeful, even. And you know why? Not because of that “without all the makeup, celebrities are just like us BS” excuse, even though it’s true—but because if you have the right stylists and makeup artists and wardrobe specialists, we could all be f-cking Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry. I mean, have you seen those women without their faces on? Yeah, because for the most part, they look just like anyone else off the street, and so does Ashley. Honestly. If she walked down my street looking like this, I probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. I might even throw a few ones at her, because she sort of looks like my papergirl, and I’d WHIP them instead of being all thoughtful and nice and tucking them underneath the welcome mat like a nice lady would because she’s a real big bitch who pelts my paper at my front door like she’s trying to break it down.

Actually, I guess you kind of suck in your own special way, Ashley Tisdale, and now? Well, now I may never like you.

Stars Without Makeup: Jessica Biel at the Airport

photo of jessica biel pictures photos no makeup pic 2012
Look! It’s Jessica Biel, sans both Justin Timberlake and makeup, and she’s looking pretty fine, if you ask me. And did you hear! She and Timberlake are planning a summer wedding, now, isn’t that sweet (and by “she and Timberlake,” I most definitely mean “she and her entourage of love-enablers”). People reports that Jessica and Justin are happily betrothed, and the wedding will probably go down as Hollywood wedding history. Like Emily told you earlier in the month, the wedding’s going to be a summer fling:

“Justin and Jessica are planning a big [summer] wedding,” a source close to the pair tells PEOPLE. “Jessica initially wanted a smaller, more intimate wedding, but Justin from the beginning wanted a big wedding and that’s what they have decided on.”

According to the source, Timberlake, 31, and Biel, 30 – who’ve recently been spending time together in Atlanta where he’s shooting Trouble with the Curve – have decided they want to “include all their friends” in the celebration, says the source.

Biel, who was seen sporting her engagement ring last month, has yet to decide on her dress, the source notes, but the actress is “very involved” in planning the ceremony.

As for the groom, the source says: “Justin has promised her the best day ever.”

Of COURSE she’s “very involved” in planning the ceremony—she’s been working toward this for almost a f-cking decade! As for Justin promising her it’s going to be the best day ever, well. That’s not exactly a hard promise to keep, considering the fact that girlfriend’s been WORKING TOWARD THIS FOR ALMOST A F-CKING DECADE.

In case you forgot what the rock that Justin got girlfriend looked like, here’s another photo:

photo of jessica biel engagement ring pics
My oh my, we are in for a treat, aren’t we?

Stars Without Makeup: Vanessa Minnillo is Pregnant, Eating Popcorn, I Guess

photo of vanessa minnillo pregnant eating popcorn pictures photos pics
OK, so I’m not going to rip apart a non-makeuped pregnant lady for eating in bed, because why bother? I remember being pregnant, you know, and I also ate much more bizarre things in bed than popcorn. I gorged on spaghetti … sausage and peppers. I have stains on my mattress that may never come out.

So, no. No mockery here. Mockery-free, guys. But I am going to ask (in my customary questionable way), what the F-CK has Vanessa Minnillo done with her eyebrows? I mean, did she up and eat those, too? Why in God’s name would you tweeze your eyebrows so thin? Does she not realize that we’re not in 1999 anymore? Or that there are other methods of manicuring your facial hair other than using a single-blade bic?

I was torn between calling this post “Love It or Leave It” and “Stars Without Makeup,” but I probably should have just thought a little harder and combined the two, calling it “Stars Without Eyebrows and Where They Left Them.”

Star Without Makeup: Dakota Fanning

photo of dakota fanning no makeup pictures photos age pic
Morning, guys! Do you see this picture? This positively fabulous photo? It’s – duh- Dakota Fanning, and she’s got no makeup on. You know, that’s pretty refreshing in itself. You wanna know what else is pretty good, too? That girlfriend hasn’t had any cosmetic procedures done, and she actually looks like an innocent young girl who’s all about acting for the art of it and not acting for the publicity and money. Isn’t that so awesome? I know that DF is only eighteen years old, and a lot of people might think it’d be preposterous for someone so young to go under the knife or needle anyway, but there are a lot more young people out there who have done this crap and you wouldn’t even think it.

Also, you know what I watched this past weekend that featured Dakota in it, but I didn’t even realize ’til just, like, a few minutes ago? Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah. I definitely forced my husband to watch it with me, too, and you know, he’s never even seen The Notebook. He boycotted it so many years because he said it seemed like the height of cheesieness, but folks, I’m telling you right now – this man will have watched The Notebook by the end of this year – and especially if I can keep his attention rapt with movies like Sweet Home Alabama (check) and Nights in Rodanthe (check). And today, in anticipation of that sacred event, I’m going to credit this success to Dakota Fanning – just because I’m feeling happy and euphoric and have picked up an even crazier Southern accent from being subjected to two-and-a-half-hours of watching Reese Witherspoon trying to fake her way through it.

This is big, guys. For everyone involved.