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Spice Girls

Victoria Beckham Will Never Reunite with the Spice Girls Again

victoria beckham

I called this last time the topic of a Spice Girls 20th anniversary reunion was on the table: Victoria Beckham wouldn’t do it. She’s too far up her own ass and takes herself far too seriously to ever do it, unfortunately. Indeed, she’s proven me right in a new interview with Vanity Fair (via the Daily Mail), insisting that the past is the past and she’s got zero interest in it:

“I won’t ever do it again. Doing the Olympics was an incredible honor. I was so proud to do it, proud to be British. That was a perfect time to say, ‘That’s great. Thank you to everybody, but no more. Sometimes you’ve got to know when it’s time to leave the party.”

“The Spice Girls were successful because we celebrated women. That’s why I do what I do today.”

Look, I get that the Spice Girls are old news at this point. They’ve been out of the spotlight and disbanded for over a decade, so it makes sense that they’ll each have moved on with their lives. However, Victoria Beckham’s life wouldn’t be what it is today without that group. It literally made her entire career. No one’s saying you need to do a full-on tour or anything like that, but why not indulge the fans – and even yourselves, to remind you of where you got your start – just for fun once every 20 years? Because it undermines your “serious” fashion career now? Give me a break.

In any case, I don’t think anyone will be all that surprised to read this. It’s not like she seemed all that thrilled to be performing at the Olympics, either:

olympics

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How Will You Celebrate the 20th Anniversary of the Spice Girls?

spice girls

If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably spend it feeling old as shit. Seriously, think about: 2014 makes the Spice Girls, as a group, 20 years old. WHAT? Time flies when your ’90s girl groups retire… or something (that was a terrible saying). Either way, Mel B is hoping for a reunion next year to mark the special occasion and thinks it’d be a bit silly if they didn’t do something to honour the group that made any of their careers possible.

From MTV News:

“It will be our 20th year anniversary next year so I’m hoping we do get together and do something,” Mel B told MTV News. “It kind of would be a shame if we didn’t.”

I agree! I mean, they did sort of already have a mini reunion with the whole Olympics thing, so I doubt it’ll have as much of a bang as they’d like. However, I don’t think anyone in their right minds would turn down another Spice Girls event. HELLO? They’re amazing.

I feel like the only person who might hold up the process/be difficult about it is Victoria Beckham, and to be honest, she was the worst in the group and they could do without her, so…

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The Spice Girls All Made Out With Each Other, If You Were Wondering

spice girls

Mel B was asked – for some odd reason – if she’s “attracted” to her Spice Girls bandmates on the Howard Stern Show (oh wait, I see why now!), Mel actually said yes and revealed that she’d made out with every last one of them… to test out her tongue ring. Surprise! She also apparently SLEPT with a few of them! :-o

Here’s what she said when questioned if she ever fancied any of them (via DS):

“Always. They’re my homies. I kissed all of them, yes. I got my tongue pierced and I wanted to try out my tongue piercing and so I kissed them all.”

When asked if she had ever got into bed with any of the girls, she replied: “Back in the day I had fun.”

Okay, so let’s dissect this one. Out of the four other girls in the band, I think Mel B and Geri definitely had a fling because Geri just seems like she’d like a bit of lady on the side. Victoria is way too uptight to even consider going lesbo even once, so I don’t think that happened. Mel C has been in the closet for decades, so I can definitely see that having happened. Emma? I’m not sure, actually. Hmm… maybe if they were drunk?

What do you guys think? Who hooked up with whom?

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Geri Halliwell Still Doesn’t Think The Spice Girls Musical Sucked

viva forever

The Spice Girls musical, Viva Forever, may be closing on the West End after less than a year, but that doesn’t mean it’s terrible! Well, not in Geri Halliwell‘s eyes, anyway. She went to see it again earlier this week and insists that it’s actually “good entertainment”.

From her blog:

God only knows why things don’t work.

It’s 11pm and I’ve just come back from the West End theatre show Viva Forever! – To say goodbye.

Over 4 years ago it started with a conversation in a Kitchen; Laughing… Joking… full of promise, dreams & optimism.

We managed to get one of the most successful Theatre producers to do our show! A great writer, our Spice music… I felt confidant – almost cocky it was going to be a huge success.

Opening night – In my Cinderella prom dress with my fellow Spice Girls, so proud of us having a West End show!

It didn’t work – 6 months later, it’s closing.

What went wrong?

Was I biased? Blinded because it was a show with our music?

Was it the lighting? The set? The choreography? The press? The story?

It had a bumpy start but the cast and director worked really hard, made great changes, and I can hand on heart tell it’s not shit! – It’s good entertainment!

She goes on and on about the project and how much it means to her, which is great and all, but it doesn’t change how poorly executed it was. It’s true, on the surface Viva Forever should have flourished. Jennifer Saunders co-wrote it, for Christ’s sake. Plus, who doesn’t love Spice Girls songs, even on just a nostalgia level? I mean, come on!

Ah, well, I guess Geri will have to go back to giving us all tube riding skills and doing weird dares with her former bandmates.

Spice Girls Musical Shut Down (There Was A Spice Girls Musical?)

spice girls musical viva forever

Viva Forever, a musical based on the works of the Spice Girls in London’s West End, was cancelled. Judging by that photo it looks like it was basically just a group of women dressed as Spice Girls singing Spice Girls songs, and it probably was, but now I’LL NEVER KNOW. It opened only last December. Mamma Mia it is not.

Emma Bunton/Baby Spice tweeted (via EOnline), “I am totally gutted that our wonderful show @vivaforever is coming to an end. Thank you to all our amazing fans for your constant support!”

Geri Halliwell/Ginger managed to put her truth or dare game with Mel B/Scary on hold to tweet “We love u all @vivaforever @emmabunton @MelanieCmusic @OfficialMelB @victoriabeckham #what a shocka , gutted .x”

Mel C/Sporty tweeted “Absolutely devastated our wonderful show is closing. Thank you to our brilliant cast and everybody who made the show so incredible.” that Mel B retweeted.

Victoria Beckham/Posh tweeted nothing because she’s Victoria Beckham. Or because she’s ~~too busy being a working mum~~.

All this tweeting makes me realize even more that journalists can quite easily become obsolete. No one releases real statements anymore. Unless it’s an “I was drunk and I’m sorry” statement that needs more than 140 characters.

In conclusion, slam your body down a-zig-ah-zag-ah. (What’s YOUR favorite Spice song?)

Quotables: The Spice Girls Love Each Other Very Much, And Also Boobs

A photo of Melanie Brown

“I love boobs. Me and the other Spice Girls are always having a feel of each other’s – Geri came up behind me and grabbed mine the other day.”

- Scary Spice lets us in on what goes on, and presumably what went on, behind the closed doors of that fabulous Spice Girls tour bus.

But really, who doesn’t love boobs? Seriously, who doesn’t? Because whether it’s because of a sexual attraction or for aesthetic reasons, or even just because they’re fun to poke and squish, I’ve never heard of anyone who didn’t have the utmost love and affection for boobs. They’re something that can unite us all, and I think that’s really special.

Also, I know some of you get upset that we don’t talk about boobs enough here, so this is for you guys. We can make this sort of a general discussion, if you’d like, about boobs. Spice Girl boobs, celebrity boobs, regular old boobs. Whatever you want, ok? This is your time.