3Spice Girls Musical Shut Down (There Was A Spice Girls Musical?)

Viva Forever, a musical based on the works of the Spice Girls in London’s West End, was cancelled. Judging by that photo it looks like it was basically just a group of women dressed as Spice Girls singing Spice Girls songs, and it probably was, but now I’LL NEVER KNOW. It opened only last December. Mamma Mia it is not.

Emma Bunton/Baby Spice tweeted (via EOnline), “I am totally gutted that our wonderful show @vivaforever is coming to an end. Thank you to all our amazing fans for your constant support!”

Geri Halliwell/Ginger managed to put her truth or dare game with Mel B/Scary on hold to tweet “We love u all @vivaforever @emmabunton @MelanieCmusic @OfficialMelB @victoriabeckham #what a shocka , gutted .x”

Mel C/Sporty tweeted “Absolutely devastated our wonderful show is closing. Thank you to our brilliant cast and everybody who made the show so incredible.” that Mel B retweeted.

Victoria Beckham/Posh tweeted nothing because she’s Victoria Beckham. Or because she’s ~~too busy being a working mum~~.

All this tweeting makes me realize even more that journalists can quite easily become obsolete. No one releases real statements anymore. Unless it’s an “I was drunk and I’m sorry” statement that needs more than 140 characters.

In conclusion, slam your body down a-zig-ah-zag-ah. (What’s YOUR favorite Spice song?)

May 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

2Geri Halliwell Sings Spice Girls In a Pub On A Dare, No One Seems To Care

You all know Geri Halliwell is one of my favourite people on Twitter, and that’s mostly due to her incredible inability to filter her thoughts and now also because we get to see the weird dare-a-thon she and fellow Spice Girls Mel C and Mel B seem to have going on right now.

It all started a few weeks back when Mel C apparently dared Mel B to go outside and moon her neighbours, which of course she did:

Then Mel B dared Geri to go into a pub and start singing ‘Say You’ll Be There’ before walking out again. Well, that sounds like fun – and it was! Geri is a good sport, so she walked ’round her local and went for it. It was mostly full of old men who didn’t know who she was and didn’t care, which makes it all the more genius:

This must mean Mel C’s up next. God, I feel like it’s 1996 all over again. Except an alternate universe where I care more about the Spice Girls than I ever did in the real 1996. I’m into it!

April 28, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

2Quotables: The Spice Girls Love Each Other Very Much, And Also Boobs

“I love boobs. Me and the other Spice Girls are always having a feel of each other’s – Geri came up behind me and grabbed mine the other day.”

- Scary Spice lets us in on what goes on, and presumably what went on, behind the closed doors of that fabulous Spice Girls tour bus.

But really, who doesn’t love boobs? Seriously, who doesn’t? Because whether it’s because of a sexual attraction or for aesthetic reasons, or even just because they’re fun to poke and squish, I’ve never heard of anyone who didn’t have the utmost love and affection for boobs. They’re something that can unite us all, and I think that’s really special.

Also, I know some of you get upset that we don’t talk about boobs enough here, so this is for you guys. We can make this sort of a general discussion, if you’d like, about boobs. Spice Girl boobs, celebrity boobs, regular old boobs. Whatever you want, ok? This is your time.

September 13, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily

2Which Two Spice Girls Once Had A Fistfight?

Definitely Victoria, right? Somebody spilled something on one of her little Gucci dresses back in the day and she tried to claw a girl’s eyes out. Ooh, or maybe it was Ginger Spice. She always was the fiery one, you know? Or it could be Scary Spice. You know, because of “scary.”

But who was it really? Which two of our darling Spice Girls once got so angry at each other that they resorted to throwing punches? Any combination is hard to imagine, of course, but since it did happen, can you guess which girls were involved?

Bitches on the left!

Yes, the two Mels, Mel B and Mel C, got super drunk one time and had a brawl. Oh, but Geri got punched in the face for being a sweetheart and trying to stop the violence. Here, let’s just let Sporty Spice herself tell us what happened:

“Me and Melanie had a fight once. We were too drunk. We got a bit pushy, shovey and Geri stepped in the middle to break it up and ended up getting punched in the face. Then Melanie went off to be sick, and because she’d been drinking too much port she accused me of making her bleed!”

Is this weird for anyone else? I don’t know, I guess the Spice Girls were such a huge part of my childhood that they’re always going to be what I thought they were when I was 10. I always imagined that they toured around, braiding each other’s hair and having fun, PG adventures and singing constantly. Basically, I thought that Spice World was real life, and even now that I read about Victoria Beckham’s bitchface and Geri Halliwell’s nipples for a living, that’s how they’re always going to be in my head.

Ugh, between this, Eva Mendes proposing to Ryan Gosling, and Kim Kardashian actually looking cute, how else is my Monday going to fall apart?

August 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

9It Happened: The Spice Girls Reunited Last Night

Last night, as I’m sure most of you know, the closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics took place. A lot of things happened during that ceremony, but nothing that was nearly as important as the glorious performance by the Spice Girls.

And look, I know the video isn’t that great, ok? I know those commentators are speaking over almost the whole entire thing and that they won’t just shut up for one minute, but this is the best I could find. Well, Gawker has a better video with less commentating, but I can’t embed it here. But I don’t want to hear it, ok? I spent the last three hours of my life sifting through shitty YouTube videos – people recorded the Spice Girls’ performance on their televisions with their phones, ok, and they can’t even stop seizing while they do it – and all I wanted to do was to find you guys a good video of this. That’s all I wanted. So please just appreciate it.

Just appreciate that there’s a video at all, I mean. You don’t have to appreciate the performance itself, because … well, this is hard for me to say. Because I thought it was magical and wonderful and everything I ever wanted, of course, but is this the same band that I rocked out to constantly from the ages of nine to eleven? This doesn’t exactly seem like that same band. Oh god, is that awful of me to say?

Seriously, guys, what did you think?

August 13, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily

10Victoria Beckham Will Be A Spice Girl Again If …

Did you hear that the Spice Girls are going to be performing at the closing ceremony of the Olympics? That’s a pretty big deal, right? For the entirety of 2012, we’ve been tantalized by rumors of a Spice Girls reunion, and last month all five of the girls were photographed together for the first time in years to promote that Viva Forever musical. This whole year has led up to this one moment, this one shining moment in time when all of the Spice Girls agreed to come together to spice up our lives through song once again.

And yes, Victoria Beckham has agreed to perform as well, but under one condition: this one reunion has to be the very last time that they perform, ever.

What a spoilsport, right? This is such a bitchy move that Geri Halliwell, our beloved Ginger Spice, spoke at length about it to a “source,” who told the Daily Mail:

“After the Olympics I can’t imagine even talking to her again, let alone being on a stage with her. Mel B. was right, she has lost the spirit of the band.”

Geri told pals: “None of us can understand why she won’t take advantage of these opportunities. Now is the time to be together again as a band and she and Mel B. can’t be in the same room together.”

Speaking about meeting up at the Viva Forever press launch she added: “After the stunt she pulled at the Viva Forever press conference she said she’d never perform with us again and then with David not being chosen for the team, she didn’t even want to discuss it.”

Can someone please sit Victoria Beckham down and explain to her why this is ridiculous? The whole entire reason that she’s famous today, that she’s able to be a fashion designer and have sex with David Beckham, is because of that little black dress and those awful platforms. It’s because the entire world knows that “easy V doesn’t come for free, she’s a real lady.” It’s not because of any true talent that she may or may not have. It’s because of the Spice Girls. God.

Regardless of Victoria’s snobbery, I absolutely cannot wait to see these girls perform together again. Anybody else?

July 24, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily