So while some people (like me) love to celebrate the holidays in elastic-waist pants and knitted caps to conceal unwashed hair, some people (ahem, like Sofia Vergara) like to show people (like me) what it’s like to actually give a flying crap about what it means to look amazing all year round, and not just in the summertime, rum balls and eggnog be damned.
This is what Sofia Vergara’s wearing these days whilst frolicking in warm seas and chilling on yachts with her diamonds or whatever it is that she does, and got-damn, she does look good. I don’t even necessarily love the swimsuit, but because it’s on Sofia Vergara, it’s f-cking awesome. I’d have it, and I’d wear it, and if it weren’t for the fact that when I take all my clothes off these days, rum balls roll right out of my ass, I’d be rocking it right as we speak.
Sofia and her bathing suit: love it or leave it?
December 29, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Sarah
Well, OK. That’s not exactly what she said, but it’s pretty damn close. Here. You can go ahead and determine if Cameron Diaz is as full of crap as Sofia says, or if you agree with Cameron that there’s shit a whole lot worse going on than merely turning forty.
Cameron Diaz’s recent age quote to Esquire UK:
“For the first time in my life I’m content. I’m so excited. Getting older is the best part of life. Like, I know more than I’ve ever known. I have gratitude. I know myself better. I feel more capable than ever. And as far as the physicality of it – I feel better at 40 than I did at 25. I’m so excited. Getting older is the best part of life. Like, I know more than I’ve ever known.”
And then here’s Sofia’s recent age quote to Lucky:
“Turning 40 is horrible. People that say it isn’t are full of shit.”
But, to be fair, and you know it pains me to defend Cameron Diaz, because she and I just haven’t been homegirls in forever, but here’s another few quips from Sofia’s interview, which was definitely, definitely a little over the top if you compare it to Cameron’s (which is here, if you want to read some more level-headed quotes and not things about breast lifts, yachts, and diamonds):
“It [my engagement ring] is perfection. If it was bigger, it would be too big to wear. But if it was smaller, I would not like.”
“I love luxury. I love yachts. I love planes. I love trips,” Vergara admits. “I can live without all of them, and I have, but I am not going to apologize and pretend I don’t love luxury, because I do.”
“I know [my breasts] have opened doors for me, let’s be real. But I so hate when I see Gisele and she is wearing a tiny little tank top with no bra, like, ‘Oh, I just threw this on, I look so cute.’ If I wore that I would look like I was pregnant, or a fat stripper.”
Now. Who’s full of shit?
October 3, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Hey, look! It’s Sofia Vergara, channeling (um … pretty well, I must say) the image of Lucille Ball! And why? Well. I don’t know. This is a photo that Sofia posted on her WhoSay account, and didn’t really offer any other explanation other than the catchphrase, “Lucy! I’m home!” And it’s interesting, because if she’s doing something Lucy-related for Modern Family, then I might have to tune in and watch my very first episode of Modern Family.
In related Sofia news, did you guys hear that she got engaged to the guy she was dating for a really long time, Nick Loeb? Because they did! And here’s the ring!:
The photo’s courtesy of TMZ, and bonus points if you can find a pictures that’s better quality.
Belated congratulations to Sofia (I mean, seriously. It took us talking about her Lucille Ball face to officially announce that she’s engaged on the site, and that’s not necessarily a good thing for Sofia, but hey—we do have a self-imposed quota of Prince Harry nudity posts to fill, you know) on her engagement, and get on it with that Lucy remake, OK?
August 23, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Here’s an excerpt from Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography, written by Andrew Morton, and guys—it’s pretty heavy stuff. Not that I’m going to pretend to be all-knowing about how authorizing a biography works or whatever, but why would Tom Cruise go ahead and OK this project? I have positively no doubts at all that everything Morton says is true, but it certainly doesn’t paint a very humane or compassionate or even likable picture of Tom Cruise, that’s for damn sure. From Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography:
Top of his wish list of future wives was curvy Colombian-born model, Sofia Vergara, now the star of Modern Family. She was first contacted in Montreal, Canada, where she was shooting the bloody revenge movie, Four Brothers. Cruise’s fellow Scientologist Will Smith sent her an invitation asking her to join him at the pre-Oscar party he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were hosting in February 2005 in Los Angeles. She had never met the Smiths but was intrigued and went along.
The next day the remorsely romantic star sent her flowers, notes and chocolates. She even read some of his gushing text messages to her pals. Vergara, at 5ft 7ins and as tall as her beau, played it cool. After all the actress voted one of the world’s sexiest women by FHM magazine had dated any number of eligible bachelors including Mark Wahlberg.
Cruise continued his charm offensive inviting her and her son, Manolo, to play with his two adopted children, Connor and Isabel. It was not long before Cruise casually suggested that Vergara join him on a trip to Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. There she met Cruise’s good friend, David Miscavige, the head of the controversial organization founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Vergara, raised a strict Catholic, was given Scientology literature and encouraged to bring her mother Margarita along for her next visit.
Cruise was keen, only leaving her side when she had to return to Montreal to finish filming. Although they had only known each other for a matter of weeks, the relationship had become so intense that marriage looked the next logical step. One friend told me: “She met his children, there was no doubt he was auditioning her for the part of his wife. If she had been interested she would today be the next Mrs. Cruise.Was it going to go further? No doubt about it. He wanted to marry her – that was the idea.” Cruise had found a feisty, athletic adventurous mother who could provide him with what he craved – a child of his own.
As affectionate and attentive as Cruise was, Vergara found the world of Scientology cloying and suffocating. She felt she was being followed or watched and that her phone calls were being monitored. It was as if Cruise and Scientology were trying to take over her life.
At some point, it was made clear that if their relationship was going to end in wedding bells she had to renounce her Catholic faith and join an organization that believes in immortality. “She was fundamentally terrified by Scientology,” recalls a friend. “She sincerely believed that she would be struck down by God and burn in hell if she joined. That is what she said.”
Sassy, street smart and obstinate, Vergara, who had survived thyroid cancer, proved immune to Cruise’s charm. “She had plenty of opportunity to hitch her wagon to Hollywood and to Tom,” recalls a friend. “She was not swayed by that.” On an Easter weekend in 2005, the couple had arranged to go to Clearwater, Fla. Scientology headquarters. Instead she stood him up, packed a bag and “headed for the hills.”
Even as the blooms on the flowers sent to Vergara by Cruise were fading, he was romancing a wholesome wide-eyed girl from America’s heartland, ex-Dawson’s Creek star Holmes. Vergara recognized her own narrow escape when she saw the TomKat show on television. Unlike Vergara, Holmes signed up for Scientology before Cruise even asked the question. “Sofia pitied the poor girl,” recalls a friend. “Katie is a much weaker more innocent person than Sofia.”
So wait. Can we really imagine a dead-eyed Sofia Vergara? Come on. Wouldn’t happen. Tom Cruise should feel lucky that he “escaped” Sofia, because his ass would be dead if he tried to pull half the crap he’s pulled on Katie, on Sofia. Matter of fact, it’s a shame things didn’t work out between the two of them. Then we wouldn’t have someone like Tom Cruise playing someone like Jack Reacher.
July 3, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Well, sort of, anyway. She’s wearing a sheer top in which you can see some pretty serious nip, and she’s wearing white cotton panties to match.
Have you ever seen Sofia Vergara’s boobs? No? Then shut up and enjoy. Don’t start bitchin’ that there’s no crotch shots available, because damn. DON’T BE SO GREEDY.
Jump in for the uncensored nudity-nude-nude-nuderson.
May 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah
Sofia Vergara is so hot, you know? She’s just magnetic. And if this interview is any indication, it’s because she’s Latina. Yes, not because she’s a woman, and not because she’s got a fiery personality and a humor as sharp as the crack of a whip. No, it’s because she’s from South America, and apparently all South American women are as combustible, attractive, sultry, full-figured, and inspired as Sofia, and that’s apparently why Ryan Gosling is wasting his time with Eva Mendes. It’s because there’s more than meets the eye, and I can’t necessarily negate that (I know, I had a hard time accepting this, too).
Check out some highlights of the interview and jump in for the rest of the photos from the shoot – if you can handle getting through it all, anyway.
On getting wicked mad and then getting over it five minutes later:
The first time it happened, he [my boyfriend] thought, This woman is insane. One time I was screaming with my sister. Then the next day, I told him I was having lunch with her. He said, “How? You were just fighting with her!” … I’m, like, bipolar. … I didn’t even realize it was weird or insane until I came here. It’s not out of the ordinary where I come from. Everybody’s like that. It’s better that way. You forget about what’s bothering you. It’s not like you’re holding it inside, you know? You get it out — and it’s over with.
What the sound level is like in a Latina’s home:
Oh, yeah. We’re very loud. Ed O’Neill tells a funny story: When we were shooting one of the first episodes of Modern Family, our trailers were connected. So if I’m in my trailer screaming on the phone, he can hear me perfectly. I was having one of those “Oh, my God!” conversations with one of my cousins for twenty minutes. As soon as it ended, there’s a knock on the door. It’s Ed. “Sofia, are you okay?” I’m like, “What do you mean?” “I thought maybe you were crying or having a heart attack or something.” “Oh, no. I was just on the phone with my cousin. We were talking about someone else.”
On how the partners of Latinas should just back off and let their women be sexy:
If a Latina falls in love with someone who is insecure, it can be a nightmare. I’ve had girlfriends who’ve been with really jealous guys, and it’s like they’re never enjoying you. You’re at a party and they’re just watching your every move. Then they’ll come over and say, “Why were you talking so closely to that guy? Put your skirt down!” Look, if you’re sexy, if you like dressing sexy, you’re not doing anything more than feeling beautiful. A Latina just wants to walk into a place and feel great. Somebody is going to turn around and look. So a Latina better find a guy who understands that, even appreciates it, because it’s a compliment.
And then what it’s like if a Latina’s partner checks out another woman who’s just as sexy:
That is a completely different thing. He can look, and then turn around. But not like this — Ohhhh! Sometimes the guy is looking …
Jump in for the rest!