According to the New York Daily News, Lindsay Lohan is “in talks” with NBC’s Saturday Night Live to negotiate hosting duties for a December show — namely, December 4th.  However, the show’s spokespeople are naturally remaining mum on any developments, stating “We never comment on upcoming hosts until they’re announced.”  Old hat.

But come on. Who wouldn’t want Lindsay on their show at this point in her career? Though her last few pre-jail movies had fledgling (OK, practically non-existent) ratings, and a lot of production companies wanted nothing to do with her because she was too difficult to insure, networks would be crazy not to hop on the Lindsay train right now.  Everybody wants some.  Everyone wants to know what she’s doing, wants to see her on live television, and is nuts to hear about the fallen star’s future plans. Plus, she’s a redhead again –and you just know this means that she’s serious about her career once more.

I’m making a solid bet that Lindsay’s going to be on SNL — if not on December 4th, then even sooner.

Late last week I was talking up how well I thought Gabourey Sidibe’s turn at hosting SNL would go, but uh… She was just alright. This Digital Short (consistently one of the high points of the show) Cherry Battle was pretty funny, but Gabby still messed up a few of her lines. Actually, that was consistently her problem on the show. Good improvisational skills are important when you’re hosting the most fast-paced sketch show in the game.

Also a disappointment? MGMT. They weren’t exactly dropping Ke$ha-style suck bombs, but they were definitely “eh” at best.

Next up over at Saturday Night Live is Betty White with musical guest Jay-Z. There’s no question that that will make up for all this mess.

Two SNL cast members that I’ve never even heard of– Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson– were let go this weekend when the show hired two new cast members– Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad– who I’ve also never heard of.

You might know Watkins for the above character, bitchpleeze.com blogger Angie Tempura, who I’ve seen in a few Youtube clips, and even posted here once for a little self-depricating goodness. I don’t know what Wilson is responsible for, since I haven’t watched SNL in years and only know of any of anything that comes out of it from videos that go viral.

The decision to let the two go came “suddenly,” and left Watkins a little taken aback, but not exactly angry:

I don’t think anyone knows what Lorne Michaels was thinking. That’s one of the exciting things about him. If he were to vanish the show would just freeze. Not a single thing would be shot because so much hinges on him.

The only explanation I got from him — and he’s not known to say things just to make people feel better — was that he felt deep down that I should have my own show. And I agreed. SNL was a dream come true for me. It was a fantastic year. I don’t have any regrets.

Hawaii Lieutenant Governor James “Duke” Aioni is none too happy with a Saturday Night Live skit that aired this past weekend.  He plans to send a letter of protest to SNL executive producer, Lorne Michaels.  Aioni states that the sketch, “went too far in its negative depiction of Hawaii’s native people and tourism industry,” and that he wouldn’t let “such distortions go unchecked” when the economy is doing so poorly.  And he’s not the only one upset about this.

The states tourism liason which is seriously the most made up job ever, said, “Anything that pokes fun, or puts us in a bad light, our culture, the (Native) Hawaiian culture, that affects all of us.  It’s distasteful, in my opinion. I find it very offensive.”

The clip features wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and SNL regular Fred Armisen portraying employees at a Hawaiian restaurant.  They complain about wages, hula skirts and, predictably, leis.

What does this story teach us?  We should eliminate all humor from our lives and make fun of no person, culture, state, or poi.  Oh, and you know what offends me?  Just how bad SNL really is.

Amy Poehler wasn’t supposed to be back at SNL after the birth of her son (shudder) Archie.  But she did come back last night for one last appearance and to say goodbye.  Here is the clip.  I’ve come to a realization.  I’m obviously completely unbalanced because I got choked up a little bit watching the beginning of this.  And if I’m crying during a Saturday Night Live cast member farewell segment, it really makes me wonder why I’m not, like, medicated.

Do you have a word that whenever you hear it you just start gagging?  Jizz is one of those words for me.  As well as moist and audit.  I feel like I’m coughing up a fur ball right now.  Ok, please watch this clip from SNL last night titled Jizz in my Pants while I go puke.  And the worst part?  I can’t get the song out of my mind.  So really…all day puking.

Anyway, Peyton Manning (football player) hosted SNL and he wasn’t too shabby. Here’s a fun spoof on the United Way Commercials that will probably get pulled by NBC very soon (because they hate free PR).

“Speaking of Britney Spears, I’d just like to take a minute to address this latest trend, flashing your bizness while coming in, and or, leaving a limousine. Ladies (read: Britney, Paris, and Lindsay, but especially Britney), you need to cool it. Nobody wants to see your baby factory. Look, I get it, I’ve been in this business for 65 years. I know how it works. Flashing Beav is part of the game. But if your gonna do it at least get paid for it…….The point is, you guys are making Tara Reid look like Audry Hepburn. What’s next? Shots of stars pooping out of a window? And lastly, ladies, what’s up with all the deforestation going on down there? You need hair down there! It’s a backup system for underwear! Even when you’re showin’ it, you’re not really showin’ it! There was a time when a lady garden was as big as a slice of New York pizza. Then, it turned into an upside down John Waters mustache. Now, every girl is as smooth as Joey Lawrence’s head! Global warming? You decide. But remember, I always believe a woman’s nethers should be shrouded in mystery.”

Will we ever stop talking about Britney’s va jay jay? Not anytime soon ladies and gentlemen.