Shia LaBeouf is a really good internet troll, and he’s bringing his love of unleashing madcap asshattery to real life! You may recall that Mr. LaBeouf was going to make his Broadway debut with Alec Baldwin in a play titled Orphans. About 2 weeks in, Shia “You’re Not My Real Dad, My Real Dad Always Lets Me Have Tostinos Pizza Rolls Before Bedtime” LaBeouf started to lose it and was fired. There were rumors he brought a real knife to rehearsals and couldn’t work with Mr. Baldwin.
After Mr. LaBeouf’s exit, he got 4chan on everyone by turning into an internet troll, screwing with his former cast and crew. He sent everyone a long and bizarre letter about “what it means to be a man” that sounded sort of like an apology and turned out to be an article he copied from Esquire.
Not done yet, he tweeted screen caps of private emails. Emails from the play’s director to Shia “I Play By Fourth Grade Rules” LaBeouf and emails from LaBeouf to Baldwin and vice versa. He also tweeted something about theater actors that was definitely a veiled reference to Baldwin, so Baldwin referred to film actors as “celebrity chefs”. This provoked LaBeouf to then tweet a screen cap one of Baldwin’s emails, coupled with the word “chef.”
You caught up?
The damn play finally opened (in previews) yesterday, with Ben Foster in LaBeouf’s role. And guess who was sitting in the front row?
A spokeswoman for the production told The New York Times that LaBeouf turned up solo after buying a ticket and did not formally alert producers that he planned on attending.
Well, duh. What fun would that be for him? E Online has more,
At one point midway through the play, Baldwin appeared to notice the thesp from the stage, but did not react. At the curtain call, LaBeouf reportedly was among the first rise to his feet for the standing ovation and applauded fervently. When Ben Foster—the actor who replaced him—took his bow and pointed to him, Shia was said to have smacked the stage with his palm in approval. He then bolted the theater shortly thereafter and could not be reached for comment.
I wish I could have seen Alec Baldwin’s face.
Shia LaBeouf is like a really scaled down, non-threatening, just really annoying version of The Joker. Some men just want to watch the world get lukewarm.
March 28, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Shia LeBeouf is still obsessed with this whole Orphans drama. Mr. LaBeouf was going to star in the Broadway play, Orphans, with Alec Baldwin, directed by Dan Sullivan. But things got weird during rehearsals. For example, according to the NY Post, LaBeouf brought a knife to set — not a swiss army knife, an actual knife — because he thought his character “would carry one.” It made everyone uncomfortable and it wasn’t long after this that LaBeouf was fired, though they’re trying to say it was an amicable split.
Since LaBeouf left, he’s still had it in for Baldwin, and has been taunting him through Twitter. Yesterday Baldwin commented on Shia’s tweet “Theater belongs not to the great but to the brash” with, “I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t…many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause.”
Shia “I Play By Fourth Grade Rules” LaBeouf couldn’t just leave that comment sitting there, so today he tweeted “chef” with a screencap of an email director Dan Sullivan sent him shortly before rehearsals saying this:
Don’t be too surprised if Alec doesn’t look up from his script much for the first few days. I suspect he’s not nearly as prepared as you are. Not unusual at all when actors have a good long rehearsal time like we have. I just don’t want it to throw you. I did a reading of another play once with Alec and about 10 minutes in I thought, ‘Oh, I guess he’s just going to read it.’
Mr. LaBeouf also tweeted “celebrity” with another screencap of an email in which he calls Baldwin “chief” (chief, not chef) and Baldwin replies, “Listen, boy, I’m not your f-cking chief” that he then forwarded to Sullivan. (See that here.)
WHAT IS HE DOING? HE IS LOSING HIS MIND! Someone needs to change his Twitter password before he gets a face full of Baldwin fist. GET OVER YOURSELF, SHIA!
March 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Alec Baldwin is so over Shia LaBeouf and the silly things he says and tweets. Mr. Shia “Stop Please Just Stop” LaBeouf and Mr. Baldwin were working on a Broadway play together up until LaBeouf went crazy and quit (or got fired, depending on who you believe. I think he was fired.) He then proceeded to release a series of bizarre emails and tweets about the production. Last night, LaBeouf tweeted, “The theater belongs not to the great but to the brash.”
Alec Baldwin responded. From Vulture,
I can tell you that, in all honesty, I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t. I mean, he was never in the theater. He came into a rehearsal room for six or seven days and, uh — you know, sometimes film actors — I mean, there are people who are film actors who have a great legacy in the theater. Some of the greatest movie stars had really serious theater careers and still do. And many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause. In the theater, we don’t just cook the food and serve it. You go out in the garden and you plant the seeds and you grow it. You know, it’s a really very, very long, slow, deliberate — it’s the opposite of film acting. It’s a much more intensive and kind of thoughtful process. And there are people who that’s just not their thing. So for those people who I think it’s not their thing, I’m not really interested in their opinion of it. But thanks.
Boom. Although much debate about whether Mr. Baldwin is actually a theater actor versus a film actor could be had, he definitely knows more about being a theater actor than Shia LaBeouf, who is completely annoying. He also knows more about the fine craft of acting in a series of Capital One commercials.
March 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Shia LaBeouf is one of Hollywood’s infamous douchebags that somehow still manages to get parts – not great ones, by any means, but parts nonetheless. One of those parts was in the Broadway production of Orphans in which he was meant to star alongside some pretty great actors including Alec Baldwin and Tom Sturridge. Of course, crazy people can never really keep the crazy under wraps for too long because he’s since quit the play over “creative differences” and has been posting all sorts of weird personal emails online, many of which contain some Grade A psychotic ramblings.
Below is the text of his initial email to all involved in the Orphans production (which he proceeded to post the responses to, one after the other):
“My dad was a drug dealer. He was a shit human. But he was a man. He taught me how to be a man. What I know of men, Alec is. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.
A man owns up. That’s why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not. Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.
He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn’t winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. A man knows his tools and how to use them – just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud. A man does not know everything. He doesn’t try. He likes what other men know. A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering. Alec, I’m sorry for my part of a dis-agreeable situation. – Shia.”
Of course, it was later revealed that Shia actually plagiarized the above nonsense and it was actually pretty much taken word for word from this Esquire article. What in the hell? Alec Baldwin (who obviously ran into some kind of issue with Shia) responded with the following:
“I’ve been through this before. It’s been a while. And perhaps some of the particulars are different. But it comes down to the fact that what we all do now is critical. Perhaps especially fro you. When the change comes, how do we handle it, whether it be good or bad? What do we learn? I don’t have an unkind word to say about you. You have my word. – AB”
I won’t bother to paste the others’ responses as they’re all there on Twitter, but this is just… bizarre and pointless. Why not just throw a fit, ask everyone if they know who you are, tell them to f-ck off and march off stage, screaming “I quit!” like the good ole days?
February 22, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
1. Natalie Portman: Returns $42.70 for every $1 paid.
2. Kristen Stewart: Returns $40.60 for every $1 paid.
3. Shia LaBeouf: Returns $35.80 for every $1 paid.
4. Robert Pattinson: Returns $31.70 for every $1 paid.
5. Daniel Radcliffe: Returns $30.50 for every $1 paid.
6. Taylor Lautner: Returns $29.50 for every $1 paid.
7. Bradley Cooper: Returns $25.00 for every $1 paid.
8. Dwayne Johnson: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.
9. Amy Adams: Returns $22.60 for every $1 paid.
10. Kevin James: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.
December 28, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Is it hot in here, or is it just Shia?
I know I’ve been giving poor Shia hell these past couple months, but I officially take it all back. If I’d known that Shia could clean up that nice, I would have never said a bad word about him. God, his knees. I love a man who rocks shorts short enough to show off his knees. And don’t even get me started on the Crocs with socks look. I am practically salivating over here.
And here’s the back view:
Oh, Shia. The pockets are fraying on your cutoffs just like the hate is fraying on my heart. Soon both will become completely unraveled, and that is our paths shall finally cross. Keep on not washing your hair in the meantime, though. The grease really highlights your itchy looking scruff in the most tantalizing way.