Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf Won’t Leave Alec Baldwin Alone

shia labeouf

Shia LeBeouf is still obsessed with this whole Orphans drama. Mr. LaBeouf was going to star in the Broadway play, Orphans, with Alec Baldwin, directed by Dan Sullivan. But things got weird during rehearsals. For example, according to the NY Post, LaBeouf brought a knife to set — not a swiss army knife, an actual knife — because he thought his character “would carry one.” It made everyone uncomfortable and it wasn’t long after this that LaBeouf was fired, though they’re trying to say it was an amicable split.

Since LaBeouf left, he’s still had it in for Baldwin, and has been taunting him through Twitter. Yesterday Baldwin commented on Shia’s tweet “Theater belongs not to the great but to the brash” with, “I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t…many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause.”

Shia “I Play By Fourth Grade Rules” LaBeouf couldn’t just leave that comment sitting there, so today he tweeted “chef” with a screencap of an email director Dan Sullivan sent him shortly before rehearsals saying this:

Don’t be too surprised if Alec doesn’t look up from his script much for the first few days. I suspect he’s not nearly as prepared as you are. Not unusual at all when actors have a good long rehearsal time like we have. I just don’t want it to throw you. I did a reading of another play once with Alec and about 10 minutes in I thought, ‘Oh, I guess he’s just going to read it.’

Mr. LaBeouf also tweeted “celebrity” with another screencap of an email in which he calls Baldwin “chief” (chief, not chef) and Baldwin replies, “Listen, boy, I’m not your f-cking chief” that he then forwarded to Sullivan. (See that here.)

WHAT IS HE DOING? HE IS LOSING HIS MIND! Someone needs to change his Twitter password before he gets a face full of Baldwin fist. GET OVER YOURSELF, SHIA!

Alec Baldwin Says Film Actors Are Like Celebrity Chefs

alec baldwin

Alec Baldwin is so over Shia LaBeouf and the silly things he says and tweets. Mr. Shia “Stop Please Just Stop” LaBeouf and Mr. Baldwin were working on a Broadway play together up until LaBeouf went crazy and quit (or got fired, depending on who you believe. I think he was fired.) He then proceeded to release a series of bizarre emails and tweets about the production. Last night, LaBeouf tweeted, “The theater belongs not to the great but to the brash.”

Alec Baldwin responded. From Vulture,

I can tell you that, in all honesty, I don’t think he’s in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t. I mean, he was never in the theater. He came into a rehearsal room for six or seven days and, uh — you know, sometimes film actors — I mean, there are people who are film actors who have a great legacy in the theater. Some of the greatest movie stars had really serious theater careers and still do. And many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause. In the theater, we don’t just cook the food and serve it. You go out in the garden and you plant the seeds and you grow it. You know, it’s a really very, very long, slow, deliberate — it’s the opposite of film acting. It’s a much more intensive and kind of thoughtful process. And there are people who that’s just not their thing. So for those people who I think it’s not their thing, I’m not really interested in their opinion of it. But thanks.

Boom. Although much debate about whether Mr. Baldwin is actually a theater actor versus a film actor could be had, he definitely knows more about being a theater actor than Shia LaBeouf, who is completely annoying. He also knows more about the fine craft of acting in a series of Capital One commercials.

Shia LaBeouf Has Finally Gone Off the Deep End, Quits Broadway’s ‘Orphans’

Shia LaBeouf is one of Hollywood’s infamous douchebags that somehow still manages to get parts – not great ones, by any means, but parts nonetheless. One of those parts was in the Broadway production of Orphans in which he was meant to star alongside some pretty great actors including Alec Baldwin and Tom Sturridge. Of course, crazy people can never really keep the crazy under wraps for too long because he’s since quit the play over “creative differences” and has been posting all sorts of weird personal emails online, many of which contain some Grade A psychotic ramblings.

Below is the text of his initial email to all involved in the Orphans production (which he proceeded to post the responses to, one after the other):

“My dad was a drug dealer. He was a shit human. But he was a man. He taught me how to be a man. What I know of men, Alec is. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

A man owns up. That’s why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not. Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn’t winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. A man knows his tools and how to use them – just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud. A man does not know everything. He doesn’t try. He likes what other men know. A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering. Alec, I’m sorry for my part of a dis-agreeable situation. – Shia.”

Of course, it was later revealed that Shia actually plagiarized the above nonsense and it was actually pretty much taken word for word from this Esquire article. What in the hell? Alec Baldwin (who obviously ran into some kind of issue with Shia) responded with the following:

“I’ve been through this before. It’s been a while. And perhaps some of the particulars are different. But it comes down to the fact that what we all do now is critical. Perhaps especially fro you. When the change comes, how do we handle it, whether it be good or bad? What do we learn? I don’t have an unkind word to say about you. You have my word. – AB”

I won’t bother to paste the others’ responses as they’re all there on Twitter, but this is just… bizarre and pointless. Why not just throw a fit, ask everyone if they know who you are, tell them to f-ck off and march off stage, screaming “I quit!” like the good ole days?

2012 in Review: The Year’s Most Bankable Thespians

photo of Natalie Portman portrait pictures
1. Natalie Portman: Returns $42.70 for every $1 paid.

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2. Kristen Stewart: Returns $40.60 for every $1 paid.

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3. Shia LaBeouf: Returns $35.80 for every $1 paid.

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4. Robert Pattinson: Returns $31.70 for every $1 paid.

photo of daniel radcliffe portrait pictures
5. Daniel Radcliffe: Returns $30.50 for every $1 paid.

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6. Taylor Lautner: Returns $29.50 for every $1 paid.

photo of bradley cooper portrait pictures
7. Bradley Cooper: Returns $25.00 for every $1 paid.

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8. Dwayne Johnson: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

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9. Amy Adams: Returns $22.60 for every $1 paid.

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10. Kevin James: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

[Source: Forbes]

Love It or Leave It: Shia LaBeouf Does Casual

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Is it hot in here, or is it just Shia?

I know I’ve been giving poor Shia hell these past couple months, but I officially take it all back. If I’d known that Shia could clean up that nice, I would have never said a bad word about him. God, his knees. I love a man who rocks shorts short enough to show off his knees. And don’t even get me started on the Crocs with socks look. I am practically salivating over here.

And here’s the back view:

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Oh, Shia. The pockets are fraying on your cutoffs just like the hate is fraying on my heart. Soon both will become completely unraveled, and that is our paths shall finally cross. Keep on not washing your hair in the meantime, though. The grease really highlights your itchy looking scruff in the most tantalizing way.

You Will Never Ever Guess Who Shia LaBeouf’s New Girlfriend Is

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Oh, this is exciting! You won’t guess, not in a million, gazillion years! And when I tell you, you’ll be so very surprised!

Ok, so yesterday I told you guys that Shia LaBeouf and his girlfriend broke up a little while back, right? And we speculated that the breakup probably happened because Shia’s a great big ol’ douche who insisted on having actual sex in a Very Artistic Film, Nymphomaniac. We knew that she wasn’t in love with that idea, and it makes sense to suggest that as a reason for the split.

Now that we’re done with the background, why don’t you go ahead and take a guess as to who Shia’s been seeing lately? It will be so funny, you’ll never be able to figure this one out!

Shia’s been dating a girl named Mia Goth, his 19-year-old costar in Nymphomaniac! Who could have ever foreseen that one?!

The word is that they started dating right after he and his ex, Karolyn Pho, broke up. Their relationship works because they both love alternate music and thrift stores (no really, this source actually discusses their mutual love of alternative music and thrift stores), and she is “edgy and funny, which Shia loves.” And he’s already met her parents! So basically this is really serious.

But hey, serious question: how does this guy keep getting women to be interested in him? Would you put up with him in order to gain access to his connections and his money? Because that sacrifice sounds way too big to me.

Shia LaBeouf’s Girlfriend Finally Broke Up with Him

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Can we just start a collective “you go, girl”? Because Shia LaBeouf‘s ex deserves it. Can you even imagine what it would be like to date him? So gross. And they were together for two whole years, which blows my mind because I think I would break up with him about three seconds after I figured out I was dating Shia LaBeouf. So let’s give her a hand for putting her foot down and saying “Shia LaBeouf, you are a complete jackass and we shall be involved no more.”

Actually, I’m just making most of that up, I have no idea what really happened. All I know for sure is that Shia and his girlfriend, Karolyn Pho, are no longer together. I don’t know who broke up with who, but it apparently happened “a while ago,” and Shia was seen with another lady over the weekend.

But really, I think I’m right. We knew that Karolyn was getting annoyed with Shia and all his stupid bullshit and his status as a Very Important Actor, and I’m just filling in the blanks with guesses that she got fed up with his desire to do porn and build weird farms. And if I’m completely wrong and Shia was the one who ended the relationship, then … I can’t be wrong. Why would any woman stay with Shia LaBeouf in 2012?