Is it hot in here, or is it just Shia?
I know I’ve been giving poor Shia hell these past couple months, but I officially take it all back. If I’d known that Shia could clean up that nice, I would have never said a bad word about him. God, his knees. I love a man who rocks shorts short enough to show off his knees. And don’t even get me started on the Crocs with socks look. I am practically salivating over here.
And here’s the back view:
Oh, Shia. The pockets are fraying on your cutoffs just like the hate is fraying on my heart. Soon both will become completely unraveled, and that is our paths shall finally cross. Keep on not washing your hair in the meantime, though. The grease really highlights your itchy looking scruff in the most tantalizing way.
December 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Oh, this is exciting! You won’t guess, not in a million, gazillion years! And when I tell you, you’ll be so very surprised!
Ok, so yesterday I told you guys that Shia LaBeouf and his girlfriend broke up a little while back, right? And we speculated that the breakup probably happened because Shia’s a great big ol’ douche who insisted on having actual sex in a Very Artistic Film, Nymphomaniac. We knew that she wasn’t in love with that idea, and it makes sense to suggest that as a reason for the split.
Now that we’re done with the background, why don’t you go ahead and take a guess as to who Shia’s been seeing lately? It will be so funny, you’ll never be able to figure this one out!
Shia’s been dating a girl named Mia Goth, his 19-year-old costar in Nymphomaniac! Who could have ever foreseen that one?!
The word is that they started dating right after he and his ex, Karolyn Pho, broke up. Their relationship works because they both love alternate music and thrift stores (no really, this source actually discusses their mutual love of alternative music and thrift stores), and she is “edgy and funny, which Shia loves.” And he’s already met her parents! So basically this is really serious.
But hey, serious question: how does this guy keep getting women to be interested in him? Would you put up with him in order to gain access to his connections and his money? Because that sacrifice sounds way too big to me.
November 28, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily
Can we just start a collective “you go, girl”? Because Shia LaBeouf‘s ex deserves it. Can you even imagine what it would be like to date him? So gross. And they were together for two whole years, which blows my mind because I think I would break up with him about three seconds after I figured out I was dating Shia LaBeouf. So let’s give her a hand for putting her foot down and saying “Shia LaBeouf, you are a complete jackass and we shall be involved no more.”
Actually, I’m just making most of that up, I have no idea what really happened. All I know for sure is that Shia and his girlfriend, Karolyn Pho, are no longer together. I don’t know who broke up with who, but it apparently happened “a while ago,” and Shia was seen with another lady over the weekend.
But really, I think I’m right. We knew that Karolyn was getting annoyed with Shia and all his stupid bullshit and his status as a Very Important Actor, and I’m just filling in the blanks with guesses that she got fed up with his desire to do porn and build weird farms. And if I’m completely wrong and Shia was the one who ended the relationship, then … I can’t be wrong. Why would any woman stay with Shia LaBeouf in 2012?
November 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily
In the wake of his latest bar fight, scrappy actor Shia LaBeouf believes he’s being unfairly targeted whenever he goes out, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
The 26-year-old Lawless star, who got into a scuffle with patrons in a London pub over the weekend, feels his star factor is what gets him into trouble.
This isn’t Shia’s first bar fight, and he thinks he gets picked on just because he’s famous!
“Shia swears blind that he doesn’t court trouble, but it seems to follow him wherever he goes,” a source told RadarOnline.com.
“This time, it wasn’t his fault. He lost his temper after someone took his baseball cap and told the guy who took it how he felt! But, it’s this sort of juvenile act that can ignite his short fuse and Shia believes he is picked on by people simply because of his fame. As a celebrity he stands out of the crowd and is an easy target for pranksters. He feels he gets victimized for who he is and says that people often try to start a fight with him just for fun. He only wants to have a little downtime after a hard day of filming and wants to be treated with a little bit of respect.”
Shia spent several hours signing autographs for fans at the Hobgoblin pub in New Cross, South London when things turned sour.
A merry student decided to pull Shia’s baseball cap from his head and refused to give it back, prompting the Transformers hot-head to lose his temper and confront the man.
After a fight broke out, Shia left in a taxi with his Nymphomaniac co-star Mia Goth.
I was confused about this at first, because this story doesn’t make it clear if Shia LaBeouf confronted this guy with his words or with his fists. I could totally understand if he just told the guy off, because it pisses me off when people do juvenile things like this and keep it up for way too long, but according to other reports, things did get physical. And that makes Shia a douchebag.
It’s a hat. It’s just a hat. It’s someone being an annoying immature asshole. It’s not worth getting that worked up about, you know?
But my favorite thing about this story is the “aww, poor Shia, everybody makes his life so hard” angle. He gets “victimized” for being a rich and famous movie star. People pick on him all the time. It’s not his fault that he physically fought someone over a hat. Leave him alone, he has a hard life. Please.
November 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily
“Me and my girlfriend are getting ready to build an aquaponics farm up in Cambria. Aquaponics is the future, dude. Aquaculture is the study of fish, and then hydroponics is the study of plants growing without soil. So when you marry those two things you wind up with an ecosystem. Say you get a big tankful of 12 catfish and on top of it you put a floaty device that has holes in it. And you take a cup and poke a hole in that cup and put a seed in that cup and put it on top of that water. That will give you fruit forever and fish forever. You never have to change the water. It’s amazing and it’s not seasonal, so say you’re growing cucumbers in a warehouse in the winter, that’s money!”
No really, that’s all. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what Shia’s saying here, and if wants to build some farm, then good on him. It’s just such a very Shia LaBeouf thing to say, and it made me laugh. That’s all. Like Shia and his girlfriend (who, as we all know, should totally be Kristen Stewart) are just going to build this farm and then hang out on a futon and get high and watch the fish. And then try to get the fish high. And then try to get the plants high.
September 26, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
“Carey is not just an actress, she is a great human being, a sweet girl and super intelligent. Our thing came down to not having compatible work/lifestyles. We were always travelling, and had sensibility differences that weren’t conducive to living with one another. I’m harder on myself and my surroundings than she is, and we had a culture shock in terms of meeting her parents and vice versa. Sensibilities, cultures, histories. There were differences, that’s all.
“She’s happy as hell right now, and we wouldn’t have been able to make it like that. She was chasing marriage, family, kids more than I was. I’m not opposed to marriage. I just think I’m quite young. I come from divorce. I’m only doing marriage once. It’s not a game for me. I’m not a religious person, but I have ethics.”
Is it just my own personal frustrations, or is this kind of thing sort of infuriating? Shia and Carey dated for about a year, and they broke up two years ago. He’s dating another poor woman, and she’s married to the guy from Mumford and Sons. So why is he even discussing this in the first place, let alone discussing it so thoroughly?
This is the same kind of thing as when he told everyone that he slept with Megan Fox. He’s like that person that you break up with, but afterwards he keeps talking about you on Facebook and Twitter and his personal blog, and he keeps discussing intimate details about your relationship to everyone you’ve ever met, and a lot of the things he says aren’t even remotely true, but you just forget about it and move on with your life, and you get into new relationships that are actually healthy, but he still won’t stop talking about you, like after months and months he just won’t stop talking about you. STOP TALKING ABOUT ME. Uh, her. Stop talking about her. Shia. God.