Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf Is Having a Serious Psychological Breakdown

'Nymphomaniac Volume I (long version)' Premiere - 64th Berlinale International Film Festival

Oh, Shia LaBeouf. He, too, has fallen victim to the “child stars are fucked UP” trope and has completely lost his grip on reality. Sure, he tried to masquerade it as “performance art” for a while, but dude, no one is fooled at this point. He needs to step away from the public eye FOR REAL and spend some serious time with a mental health professional, for his own good (and for ours).

The above photo is from the German premiere of Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, where he showed up with a paper bag bearing his Twitter-debuted phrase “I Am Not Famous Anymore” along with a barcode in the top right corner of the bag, because, you know, celebrities are commodities, etc.

If that’s not all, he also walked out of a press conference for the film after quoting football player Eric Catona when asked about his sex scenes in the movie:

“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.”

Uh… LOL. Everyone sorta awkwardly applauded and he just walked off the panel, because, you know, that’ll really show everyone how “artistic” you are? Look, there’s even video!

I don’t know what’s wrong with Shia LaBeouf, but it’s something only a certified mental health professional can determine – and treat – at this point.

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Shia LaBeouf’s Recent Shenanigans Were Just “Performance Art”

shia labeouf

Shia LaBeouf, World’s Greatest Douchebag, has a new defense for why he’s taken his dickishness to the next level lately: it’s just performance art, baby. He’s not really a plagiarizing, headbutting drunkard with a serious need for attention and a lack of accountability for his actions! No, of course not! He’s just being an ARTIST!

He explained this in a series of posts on Twitter, but later deleted them. Luckily, Gossip Cop has the scoop and saved the images he posted on his account:

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This is apparently what retiring from the public eye looks like. This dude needs some serious therapy, stat – he’s going off the deep end. Also, I don’t think he really knows what “performance a#RT” is all about, from the looks of things…

Shia LaBeouf Is Sorry for Headbutting, Is “Just a Regular Guy”

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Shia LaBeouf seems to get the devil in him every time he heads to London, as he’s always getting violent after he’s had a few drinks. After an altercation with a patron at the Hobgoblin pub in New Cross in 2012, he headed back there this past week and ended up headbutting someone. Sure, Shia LaBeouf is a giant dickhead, but he’s also just a “regular guy” who wants to “make peace” and “not shit on anybody”… or so he says in a video obtained by TMZ of his “apology”.

I don’t know what to say besides the fact that Shia needs to lay off the booze, as it makes him even more of an asshole than he is when sober. Like, seriously not a good look, dude.

In case you missed the head-butting the first time around, I don’t want you to feel left out, so here you go:

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Shia LaBeouf is Retiring from Public Life

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Well, it’s Friday, and while the impending weekend is enough to keep our spirits lifted, we’ve got something else for you: Shia LaBeouf has announced that he’s retiring from all aspects of public life due to people “attacking” his “artistic integrity” (translation: calling his ass out for being a plagiarizing dickhead).

Shia announced the news on his Twitter page earlier this morning, which was rather unfair, really, as I think we all would have liked to celebrate properly but most of us were sleeping. Hmph! Here’s how he put it:


Right, so how much is this bullshit for publicity? And more importantly, how long do we think this is going to last? My guess is a few weeks at most. It’s also hilarious that he’s retiring from public life, but made this announcement ON TWITTER, which is public. Is he going to delete his account?

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Shia LaBeouf Will Send Dick Pics For a Job

shia labeouf

Shia LaBeouf is many things: a plagiarist, a raging asshole, a “serious actor” and apparently a sender of dick pics, especially when there’s a movie role at stake. You see, Lars von Trier was getting ready to cast Nymphomaniac, and Shia really wanted to whip it out in that film, so he figured the best way to secure the part was by, well, sending HIS part in picture form to the film’s production team. Classy!

From an interview with von Trier’s Zentropa Productions:

“The first info we got – and I’ll never forget this because my entire team reacted with such a fear – the first request on the production end, not from Lars, was pictures of my penis.”

Uhhh, okay. I’m sure they just “requested” those from you, and it was the FIRST THING they wanted to see rather than, say, how well you fulfilled the role and how you read the lines. Sure, it’s feasible that at some point, they would want to see what he’s working with, but I doubt it was much of a sacrifice for ole Shia, there, who probably jerks off over a mirror, anyway, and just pulled the photo from his SnapChat history.

Then there’s the fact that he believes his character, Jerome, is “adversarial”, which is why he wanted to play him:

“Previously in my career I’d been the everyman or the normal guy stuck in this extraordinary situation. Jerome was the opportunity to play a slimy, evil, blasphemous, mini-juggernaut of a man.”

I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I just can’t take this guy seriously. Here’s the full interview below. How awful is he?

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Shia LaBeouf Took the Wrong Drug to Prepare for ‘Charlie Countryman’

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Is there a bigger toolbox in the world than Shia LaBeouf? I know that’s a difficult question to answer when people like Justin Bieber and Chris Brown exist, but I feel like they’re in a different league. Shia is just… corny, and a total dickhead who doesn’t realise he’s a dickhead, he thinks he’s being “artsy”. That’s why, in preparation for his role in Charlie Countryman, he decided to drop acid to really get into his character’s head. One problem with that: the character never took acid, he took ecstasy, and according to the film’s director Fredrik Bond, he didn’t need to take anything at all.

From Vulture:

“In the script, it’s Carpathian ecstasy, a special hostel ecstasy that exists in maybe just Bucharest … So, Shia said he took acid? I didn’t know he went out and said that. But it was always ecstasy in the script.” Did Bond know Shia was going to take Method acting this far? “No, he informed me that he was going to go out on a limb and push the envelope,” Bond said. “He said he wants to make this like they did in the seventies; he was like, ‘I want it to be like there’s a gun against my head.’” Must have been the acid talking.

I’m rolling my eyes so hard. The whole thing is so contrived and try-hard… and Shia isn’t even a GOOD actor. What an absolute idiot.

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