Last year, I very abruptly decided I should start reading paperback mystery novels. I have no idea how I arrived at that realization, but once I was there, I had zero idea how to begin. Both my best childhood friend and my beloved high school English teacher gave me the same recommendation: Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. Read the books in order. Start with One for the Money.

So, OK, I was a latecomer (One for the Money was published in 1994). Is the novel a work of great literature? Uh, no—that is, it sure isn’t Raymond Chandler. But a bazillion readers have fallen in love with Stephanie Plum, fledgling bounty hunter for her Cousin Vinnie’s bail bonds outfit. She’s quirky! She’s fun! She has a lot of car trouble.

Now, when I visualize Stephanie Plum, I see hair piled high, early-90s spandex stirrup pants, and leopard print. So when I first heard Katherine Heigl had been tapped to play the part in the One for the Money movie adaptation, I was livid. WHY NOT CAST BITTY SCHRAM? Surely there is a more believable character actress to play this Jersey girl.

How wrong I was. Here’s the One for the Money trailer, and Heigl is terrific:

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So Sherri Shepherd finally married her fiancé, Lamar Sally. Hurrah! The the View host has been looking merry (and marriage-skinny) on The Newlywed Game—a show I watch religiously, by the way, thank you—in anticipation of her upcoming wedding.

Plus, Sherri has been discussing her engagement for like a jillion years. So, okay, she’s finally married, thank God, and phew. I am really, really excited to never hear about Sherri Shepherd’s engagement ever again.

But here’s the thing: despite Sherri’s huge, ongoing wedding to-do, fellow loudmouth View co-host Joy Behar decided to suddenly marry her boyfriend—sorry, her boyfriend of 29 years—on the very same weekend as Sherri’s wedding.

And I’m a little irritated for Sherri, because this basically fists propriety. It’s like, really, Joy? After 29 years, you couldn’t wait a whole month to marry your boyfriend? You had to pick Sherri Shepherd’s big weekend? Yeah, maybe I’m oversensitive, but unless your wedding was totally Sherri’s idea, this was a dick move, Behar.

I was going to add this to the Sherri Shepherd post, but I didn’t want it to get lost.  One of our favorite (and cutest!) readers known as Kate the Great, sent me this photo taken with SS on June 1st.  I was right!  It’s all about those boobs.  She’s teensy from the waist down!

Thank you Kate for resolving this pressing issue!

The View’s Sherri Shepherd has lost 40 pounds with the help of a trainer, healthy meals delivered to her home and no surgery (take that Star Jones!)  She’s on the cover of this week’s OK magazine and talks about the importance of exercise.  

“I lost weight last year and started gaining it back because I wasn’t exercising,” Sherri explains in the new issue of OK!. “I said to my producer, ‘Why don’t we do something where I tell people ‘Let’s do it together!’ and maybe [up the ante with] a bathing suit.’ The minute I said that, I was like, ‘Gosh, I should take it back because I really want M&M’s!’ But I had to do it. Then all of sudden I had all these people doing it with me. I’d Tweet about going to the gym and how hard it was, and followers would write and say, ‘Sherri, I’ve lost two pounds!’ I thought, ‘Okay, people are getting into this.’”

Listen, Sherri looks great and losing 41 pounds is a huge accomplishment, however is this really what a size 6 looks like?  Her chesticles are mammoth and maybe that’s what’s throwing me off, but she looks like a size 10 to me.  I know, I know … size doesn’t matter.  Except when on a date.

Here’s Sherri Shepherd on The View, trying to make amends for talking shit about Barbara Walters to a Christian women’s magazine. Remember, Sherri: sarcasm doesn’t always translate in print. Take it from someone who knows.

“I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions than I would like to count … I felt if someone killed me, it wouldn’t even make a difference, [but] God showed me that it would make a difference … Oh, sometimes I say, ‘Lord, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Meyer would be so good at this table. They could lay hands on Barbara Walters and get her saved.’”

The View cohost Sherri Shepherd, in a new interview with black Christian women’s magazine Precious Times.