Sherri Shepherd just filed from divorce from Lamar Sally, and there’s all kinds of documents coming out now that suggest Mr. Sally is kind of a jerk. The two signed a prenup and after that, Mr. Sally added an amendment he wanted her to sign that pledges her to have sex with him and not get fat. Here’s allegedly what the document said, from TMZ:
– “I respect my husband’s opinions and recognize him as the leader of our home. I will always speak well of my husband.”
– “I enjoy having sex with my husband. I crave intimacy with him and want to be uninhibited and free in our lovemaking.”
– “MY BODY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY BODY WEIGHT AND EXERCISE AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK.” (HIS emphasis)
– “It is my joy to submit to my husband as a way to honor God.”
I’m no Sherri Shepherd fan (HATED her on How I Met Your Mother) but I’m on team Sherri here. What a total douche. He’s practically medieval.
Of course now he’s saying he never said any of this, even though TMZ has the document. He told TMZ,
I did not want her to sign an amendment to our prenup.
Ladies, would you EVER sign something like this? Is this what love and marriage is about, or is this above and beyond?
What I love about Sharon Osbourne is that she is reckless with her mouth. She will say whatever the hell she wants about whomever the hell she wants and if you don’t like it, too damn bad. That’s why it wasn’t at all surprising when she told the ladies of The View to go fuck themselves while appearing on The Arsenio Hall Show earlier this week. I mean, first of all, who could really blame her? The View sucks. The Talk isn’t much better, but whatever.
On Thursday’s episode of The Talk, Sharon made a half-assed apology for bad-mouthing her own show, until the other women pointed out that she’d mixed up the show names, to which she replied:
“I have to own this I’m fully responsible for myself, some of the time. Unfortunately I was inappropriate and I was trying to be funny at someone else’s expense.”
“See I’m not well, I’m not responsible. I’m not. I’m really just a loose cannon. Anyway I want to apologize to Jenny, Sherri and Whoopi, who are all accomplished self-made women who have amazing careers.
“They have achieved so much. I mean Whoopi is an Oscar winner. Who am I to say anything about Whoopi? Any of the ladies – I respect Jenny as a mother, as a woman, as an artist. Sherri too. I can’t even get the name of my own show right so please, understand it was my irreverent behavior. No disrespect was meant and I’m not a person that is mean. I’m really not and I apologize.”
Ha! I mean, she’s too right that Whoopi is kind of in another league, but you know right well Sharon didn’t mean a single world of that. My guess is that the producers of The Talk told her to apologize, pronto, and that’s where we are with that.
Last year, I very abruptly decided I should start reading paperback mystery novels. I have no idea how I arrived at that realization, but once I was there, I had zero idea how to begin. Both my best childhood friend and my beloved high school English teacher gave me the same recommendation: Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. Read the books in order. Start with One for the Money.
So, OK, I was a latecomer (One for the Money was published in 1994). Is the novel a work of great literature? Uh, no—that is, it sure isn’t Raymond Chandler. But a bazillion readers have fallen in love with Stephanie Plum, fledgling bounty hunter for her Cousin Vinnie’s bail bonds outfit. She’s quirky! She’s fun! She has a lot of car trouble.
Now, when I visualize Stephanie Plum, I see hair piled high, early-90s spandex stirrup pants, and leopard print. So when I first heard Katherine Heigl had been tapped to play the part in the One for the Money movie adaptation, I was livid. WHY NOT CAST BITTY SCHRAM? Surely there is a more believable character actress to play this Jersey girl.
So Sherri Shepherd finally married her fiancé, Lamar Sally. Hurrah! The the View host has been looking merry (and marriage-skinny) on The Newlywed Game—a show I watch religiously, by the way, thank you—in anticipation of her upcoming wedding.
Plus, Sherri has been discussing her engagement for like a jillion years. So, okay, she’s finally married, thank God, and phew. I am really, really excited to never hear about Sherri Shepherd’s engagement ever again.
But here’s the thing: despite Sherri’s huge, ongoing wedding to-do, fellow loudmouth View co-host Joy Behar decided to suddenly marry her boyfriend—sorry, her boyfriend of 29 years—on the very same weekend as Sherri’s wedding.
And I’m a little irritated for Sherri, because this basically fists propriety. It’s like, really, Joy? After 29 years, you couldn’t wait a whole month to marry your boyfriend? You had to pick Sherri Shepherd’s big weekend? Yeah, maybe I’m oversensitive, but unless your wedding was totally Sherri’s idea, this was a dick move, Behar.
I was going to add this to the Sherri Shepherd post, but I didn’t want it to get lost. One of our favorite (and cutest!) readers known as Kate the Great, sent me this photo taken with SS on June 1st. I was right! It’s all about those boobs. She’s teensy from the waist down!
The View’s Sherri Shepherd has lost 40 pounds with the help of a trainer, healthy meals delivered to her home and no surgery (take that Star Jones!) She’s on the cover of this week’s OK magazine and talks about the importance of exercise.
“I lost weight last year and started gaining it back because I wasn’t exercising,” Sherri explains in the new issue of OK!. “I said to my producer, ‘Why don’t we do something where I tell people ‘Let’s do it together!’ and maybe [up the ante with] a bathing suit.’ The minute I said that, I was like, ‘Gosh, I should take it back because I really want M&M’s!’ But I had to do it. Then all of sudden I had all these people doing it with me. I’d Tweet about going to the gym and how hard it was, and followers would write and say, ‘Sherri, I’ve lost two pounds!’ I thought, ‘Okay, people are getting into this.’”
Listen, Sherri looks great and losing 41 pounds is a huge accomplishment, however is this really what a size 6 looks like? Her chesticles are mammoth and maybe that’s what’s throwing me off, but she looks like a size 10 to me. I know, I know … size doesn’t matter. Except when on a date.
Here’s Sherri Shepherd on The View, trying to make amends for talking shit about Barbara Walters to a Christian women’s magazine. Remember, Sherri: sarcasm doesn’t always translate in print. Take it from someone who knows.