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Sherri Shepherd

Sherri Shepherd’s Ex Is Kind Of A Jerk

Sherri+Shepherd

Sherri Shepherd just filed from divorce from Lamar Sally, and there’s all kinds of documents coming out now that suggest Mr. Sally is kind of a jerk. The two signed a prenup and after that, Mr. Sally added an amendment he wanted her to sign that pledges her to have sex with him and not get fat. Here’s allegedly what the document said, from TMZ:

– “I respect my husband’s opinions and recognize him as the leader of our home.  I will always speak well of my husband.”

– “I enjoy having sex with my husband. I crave intimacy with him and want to be uninhibited and free in our lovemaking.”

– “MY BODY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY BODY WEIGHT AND EXERCISE AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK.” (HIS emphasis)

– “It is my joy to submit to my husband as a way to honor God.”

I’m no Sherri Shepherd fan (HATED her on How I Met Your Mother) but I’m on team Sherri here. What a total douche. He’s practically medieval.

Of course now he’s saying he never said any of this, even though TMZ has the document. He told TMZ,

I did not want her to sign an amendment to our prenup.

Sure, buddy.

Ladies, would you EVER sign something like this? Is this what love and marriage is about, or is this above and beyond?

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Sharon Osbourne Is Sorry For Telling ‘The View’ to Fuck Off

sharon osbourne the talk

What I love about Sharon Osbourne is that she is reckless with her mouth. She will say whatever the hell she wants about whomever the hell she wants and if you don’t like it, too damn bad. That’s why it wasn’t at all surprising when she told the ladies of The View to go fuck themselves while appearing on The Arsenio Hall Show earlier this week. I mean, first of all, who could really blame her? The View sucks. The Talk isn’t much better, but whatever.

On Thursday’s episode of The Talk, Sharon made a half-assed apology for bad-mouthing her own show, until the other women pointed out that she’d mixed up the show names, to which she replied:

“I have to own this I’m fully responsible for myself, some of the time. Unfortunately I was inappropriate and I was trying to be funny at someone else’s expense.”

“See I’m not well, I’m not responsible. I’m not. I’m really just a loose cannon. Anyway I want to apologize to Jenny, Sherri and Whoopi, who are all accomplished self-made women who have amazing careers.

“They have achieved so much. I mean Whoopi is an Oscar winner. Who am I to say anything about Whoopi? Any of the ladies – I respect Jenny as a mother, as a woman, as an artist. Sherri too. I can’t even get the name of my own show right so please, understand it was my irreverent behavior. No disrespect was meant and I’m not a person that is mean. I’m really not and I apologize.”

Ha! I mean, she’s too right that Whoopi is kind of in another league, but you know right well Sharon didn’t mean a single world of that. My guess is that the producers of The Talk told her to apologize, pronto, and that’s where we are with that.

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Watch This: the Film Debut of Stephanie Plum, Starring Katherine Heigl

Photo: Book cover of Janet Evanovich's 'One for the Money'

Last year, I very abruptly decided I should start reading paperback mystery novels. I have no idea how I arrived at that realization, but once I was there, I had zero idea how to begin. Both my best childhood friend and my beloved high school English teacher gave me the same recommendation: Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. Read the books in order. Start with One for the Money.

So, OK, I was a latecomer (One for the Money was published in 1994). Is the novel a work of great literature? Uh, no—that is, it sure isn’t Raymond Chandler. But a bazillion readers have fallen in love with Stephanie Plum, fledgling bounty hunter for her Cousin Vinnie’s bail bonds outfit. She’s quirky! She’s fun! She has a lot of car trouble.

Now, when I visualize Stephanie Plum, I see hair piled high, early-90s spandex stirrup pants, and leopard print. So when I first heard Katherine Heigl had been tapped to play the part in the One for the Money movie adaptation, I was livid. WHY NOT CAST BITTY SCHRAM? Surely there is a more believable character actress to play this Jersey girl.

How wrong I was. Here’s the One for the Money trailer, and Heigl is terrific:

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