Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Shawn Johnson

Cutie Pie!!!

Shawn Johnson Leaves Dancing With the Stars Rehearsals Pictures Photos

I’ve never really watched Dancing with the Stars, but I may be getting into it this season, as I am super-psyched to watch both Shawn Johnson and, of course, The Woz.

Here’s Shawn leaving her first DWTS rehearsal in LA yesterday.

The only thing that would make this better is if they had Alicia Sacramone competing too. I guess it’s better they don’t, though. It would be very dangerous. Alicia would probably fall off the stage.

Look Who’s Freakishly Adorable

Nastia Liukin may have beat her for the all-around gold in Beijing, but, back here in the States, Shawn Johnson is out to prove she’s still the more fuckable of the female U.S. all-around gymnastics competitors (nobody’s even trying to compete with Alicia Sacramone).

I know, I know. She’s still underage. And, at sixteen, she probably still doesn’t get her period. So you may think it’s wrong of me to say things like that. But if you think for one second that details like that are preventing the adult men of America from masturbating to her image, you, my friend, are the one in the wrong.

She’s so small. So compact. So perky. So bouncy. Wearing such short shorts.

So who’s hotter, guys? Shawn or Nastia?

America ::Hearts:: the Olympics

Here are the 10 most-watched broadcast network prime-time shows for the week ended Sunday, according to Nielsen Media Research:

1. Summer Olympics (Tuesday), NBC, 34 million
2. Summer Olympics (Saturday), NBC, 31.6 million
3. Summer Olympics (Monday), NBC, 30.2 million
4. Summer Olympics (Thursday), NBC, 29.7 million
5. Summer Olympics (Wednesday), NBC, 27.7 million
6. Summer Olympics (Sunday), NBC, 27.2 million
7. Summer Olympics (Friday), NBC, 26.1 million
8. Two and a Half Men, CBS, 8.1 million
9. NCIS, CBS, 7.2 million
10. 60 Minutes, 7.1 million

On average, the viewership numbers for these Olympics are 13% higher than we saw during the Athens games.

NBC owes Mr. Phelps a thank-you note.