Sean “Moisturize My Situation” Combs is doing many party goers in New York and Las Vegas a major solid this year by giving them the ultimate gift: the freedom to party down as hard as they want to. How so? The rap mogul is providing transportation as part of his Safe Rides program, handing out thousands of free subway passes and taxi vouchers so that landing a designated driver isn’t a problem.

Diddy said in a statement, “New York stands as the world’s icon for a New Year’s Eve celebration and Las Vegas is the biggest party destination in the country. By bringing this program to both of these great cities we will continue to show the rest of the country that a sophisticated holiday celebration doesn’t end when the ball drops, but when everyone gets home safely.” I think that’s just about the classiest thing I’ve ever heard. “Sophisticated holiday celebrations” include splitting a handle of whiskey with six other people and eating a pan of pot brownies, right?

This kind of giving back isn’t completely uncommon in the world of celebrities, but if Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or any of the other DUI queens who have the money to provide a similar service to the public did the same, it would show that they’ve learned their lessons and want to make sure other people don’t make their mistakes. Just a thought. Hey, LAPD! You reading this? You should make all the celebrities who get DUIs provide free transportation nights. They’ll learn their lesson, people can go get crunk and then get home safely. It’s a win-win.

Because I forget.  What is it I’m supposed to do tomorrow?  I’m fucking sick of the election and ready for November 5th.  “Vote for Change” has become the equivalent of “whassup” and “that’s hot.”  Entertaining for like two seconds and then annoying for all eternity. 

So here’s the question: Everything I read says Obama is going to win by a landslide.  Does anyone out there think McCain still has a shot? 

Jay-Z, Sean Combs (I refuse to play along with his name changes), Russell Simmons, Jesse Jackson Jr. and Mary J. Blige got together for a Last Chance for Change rally in Miami.  I think that’s the equivalent of a last chance workout on The Biggest Loser  where everyone frenetically starts doing jump tricep bench dips in hopes that it’ll make a difference at the final weigh-in.

Because if I can’t blog about the retarded shit celebs did today, the terrorists have already won.

• David Spade and Heather Locklear are dunzo; her latest boy-toy is a Colorado realtor with a striking resemblance to Joe Simpson. But I adore her, so I’m setting down my bat and walking away from the soft ball.
• Sean “Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy” Combs has to ditch the “Diddy” in Britain after a music producer there sues him over the name.
• Dana Plato’s son files a wrongful death suit againt the Diff’rent Strokes star’s former fiance. Time to update that True Hollywood Story, E!
• Black Eyed Peas singer Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson reluctantly admits to being on meth and Kids Incorporated. I’m pretty sure I know which one is more damaging to her image.
  
• For those of you who were staying up nights wondering, Lindsay Lohan’s stolen-and-returned Birkin bag had nothing missing. Except, you know, probably the drugs.