Me, guys. It’d be me. Sarah looks presentable enough, but you can’t put a party dress on shit and expect it not to stink, you know? This is what Sarah wore to the Australia premiere of ‘Wreck-It Ralph’, and I’m just not feeling it, no way, no how.

Love it or leave it?

The photos (which are obviously NSFW and after the jump) show Michelle Williams, Sarah Silverman, and some other well-endowed chick in some full-frontal, rather bushy nudity while they lather up and rinse in a community shower. The stills are from their movie, ‘Take This Waltz’, which we’ve talked about here on the site for just how generally sucky it looks.

Michelle has a cutesy little body and natural bazongas, and in all of the photos she keeps her arms raised up over her head—the international sign for “I was pregnant once and my tits have never been the same so I keep my arms up high to make ‘em less saggy looking” (believe me, I KNOW)—and Sarah’s tits are surprisingly nice, though the rest of her body looks like a grandmother’s, save for the fact that there’s nary a wrinkle in sight.

Jump in to see the full-frontals, and here’s a hint: click on the photo to enlarge it to epic proportions.

Celebrity guests on the premiere episode of Amanda De Cadenet’s new chat show “The Conversation” were quizzed about their favorite sex positions.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Zoe Saldana, Jane Fonda and Sarah Silverman were all asked what makes them most comfortable in intimate settings.

The racy question raised eyebrows for Fonda and prompted de Cadenet’s longtime pal Paltrow to shriek, “What?”

Silverman said, “I do enjoy a good sound missionary-ing… and I like to be manhandled.”

Saldana replied, “I like missionary and I like being on my knees too. And I love being on top… I love doggy-style or standing up.”

Candid Fonda offered: “While I am quite flexible and I can kneel, it’s not quite as comfortable for me as it used to be before I had a fake knee… (I like to be) either lying down or sitting up on a couch with him coming on to me, no pun intended.”

After her initial shock, Paltrow added, “I’m down with all of them.”

Ha! Of course Gwyneth Paltrow was all taken aback by the question. God, she probably hasn’t had sex since Brad Pitt back in 1997! And Sarah Silverman, peh. For as raunchy and down-and-dirty nasty as she pretends to be, you’d think she’d have come up with a better answer than “I do enjoy a good sound missionary-ing …” because what? She feels the need to play coy to The Conversation‘s easy-to-offend audience? No, because the audience isn’t easy to offend, but Sarah likes to pander to whomever she sees as important for the minute. OK, I’m done ranting about Sarah Silverman for right now. Needless to say, she’s not one of my favorite people in Hollywood, but if you’ve been here as long as I have, you probably already knew that.

Jane Fonda is still totally hot for her age (which is seventy-four if you can believe it), and her detailed answer (minus the fake knee thing, all that was successful in was making me cringe with my whole spirit) was, by far, the best and least-rehearsed, but I’m thinking she should probably elaborate the whole “sitting on a couch” thing, because that just sounds frightening and geriatric, at best.

Zoe Saldana did best with what she had to work with, and gave us a peek into what a very active sex life with People’s Sexiest Man Alive was probably like. Don’t be jealous.

Did you guys watch The Conversation this past weekend?

I mean, I thought so too, when I was seventeen, but friends, the times have changed. Willie Nelson’s in some pretty big trouble (in Texas) and Chace Crawford hit a similar patch of trouble (in Texas), so if Sarah’s smart, she’ll stay out of parking lots while smoking marijuana (in Texas).

No, but seriously, though – feel the way you want about pot and its effects and whether or not it’s better or worse than alcohol consumption blah blah blah – that’s not my debate today – but the fact remains that unless you have a “prescription” for it, it’s still illegal regardless if you like it, love it, disagree with it, or think its very existence is unnecessary.

It is what it is, but apparently not to Sarah Silverman.

I noticed that on Fridayish a lot of celebrities tweeted about something called “Carmageddon,” and I thought it was so weird that a 1997 computer game was suddenly getting this much visibility. So I googled for answers. Turns out the LAPD actually asked celebrities to go on Twitter and announce that the 405 Freeway will be closed all weekend. Yawn.

Speaking of the freeway, this is not Kathy Griffin‘s best look:

However, this is a very good look for Ricky Gervais:

In spite of his technical difficulties, I still say Steve Martin is the only old man who should be allowed on Twitter:

As for Sarah Silverman, she is so right about this next thing. She should be a theater critic!

I think Yoko Ono is trying to get all existential and meta:

(I read that and snorted, and then I looked up and stared at my off-kilter lampshade, which is always and irretrievably off-kilter, and then I sloooowly realized that maybe Yoko Ono wants me to tilt my entire living room to match my one lampshade.)

Rob Schneider hasn’t made a good movie in ages—or ever?—but his career could be worse. He definitely has his priorities straight:

P.S. Jerry Seinfeld just joined Twitter. Should we tell him about Google+? Or should we let him wait five years?

So when I was a lot younger, I had this obsession with Aerosmith, specifically the song ‘Angel,’ so this video? It totally SPEAKS to me. It makes me want to curl up on a twin-sized bed to reminisce about the boys I used to swoon over in middle school. This song would, of course, be playing in the background, and then I’d jam out with my girlfriends of yesteryear in a bedroom filled with blacklight posters, lava lamps, and beanbag chairs (no I didn’t grow up in the seventies, I was just always that. cool).

I know this unicorn really kind of seems like a heartbreaker, but I’d still rather take my chances with the unicorn over Sarah Silverman and her grimy hooves any day.

I love independent films, and moreover, I’ve been a big fan of ‘major’ celebrities like Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Real Girl? Awesome.) doing a lot of underground movies over the past few years. It’s bringing cinema back as an art, not just as, “Hey, let’s bring Jennifer Aniston or Cameron Diaz into some random movie plot and make it a zany romantic comedy, OK, but a different zany romantic comedy, not the same old-same old that we’ve seen sixty-five-thousand times already.” Oh, wait. Dammit.

Yeah, and in case you couldn’t tell from the photos, Sarah Silverman’s in the movie, too. And Seth Rogen, though he’s actually not pictured. But I could really give a crap less about either of them, anyway.

And quite frankly, I can’t believe that it’s stayed on the air even this long.

The Sarah Silverman Program is in its third season and execs state that this season will be the show’s last … and you know there was no avoiding the chopping block, in spite of the campaign that was waged on Twitter to save the show from imminent cancellation. These newfangled networking sites can do a lot — like bring Betty White to SNL — but can’t entirely save something that’s shit to begin with. Sorry, Sarah. Your ticket’s up.

Unfortunately for Sarah Silverman haters (like myself), she’s not going away anytime soon. She currently has a few projects up her sleeve including the promotion of her new book, which was released last month, and other D-list stuff.

I fully expect her to slink off into obscurity within the next few months or so. Weeks, if we’re lucky.

Sarah Silverman did a little interview with MTV this weekend and when they asked her about her opinion on marriage in a country where gay marriage doesn’t exists, Sarah went from funny to serious in a millisecond. What she had to say is transcribed here, although I would take a moment to watch her say it yourself if you can:

“Not only would I not get married, it actually actively bums me out that anyone who is for equal rights would get married right now. There’s nothing different between that and joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews back then. Who needs to get married that bad that they’ll be a part of a club like that? This is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing.”

I know we talk about this issue a lot over here and well, everywhere, but when it’s said as plainly as this, you cannot hear it enough. We’re living in a country that’s treating homosexuals in the same abhorable way that blacks and Jews and Irish and whomever we decided we hated for a period in time were treated. That’s so fucked up. Something has to change because, like the reporter starts to say in the video, in 50 years we will all look back and be so ashamed that we lived in a country where this kind of exclusion and hatred was going on.

Sarah Silverman is dating some producer bro named Alec Sulkin and he’s a babe. Here are five reasons why:

1. He kind of looks like a more attractive version of Noel Gallagher.
2. He’s wearing a Patriots sweatshirt.
3. He looks like he’s great at swearing.
4. He has the eyes of a serial killer.
5. He seems to make her genuinely happy.

So yeah, I’d do him.

Aight, aight. So I always have to admit whenever I critique people’s fashion that I really have no business doing so. I am wearing flared jeans as I write this. Yes, flared. They’re old and they’re really comfortable and you would wear them too if you didn’t have a will to live. ANYWAY! That being said, I was pretty disappointed across the board by the dress selections last night at The Critic’s Choice Awards. With the exception of a couple (Heather Graham, Emily Blunt, Amy Poehler), everyone looked like they bought their dress of the rack at Nordstrom in the really fancy section last minute. Lots of ill-fitting garments, lots of things that looked like last season’s trends or generally unstylish (from the dress to the shoes, I beg you to tell me: What the fuck is Sandy B. wearing in the photo above? Are those hooves?) Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, or maybe I should consider that the Golden Globes are on Sunday and everyone’s saving their pretty for that, but you let me know what you think in the comments…

Hey, do we like Sarah Silverman? I like her public image, definitely. I always really sided with her after the Jimmy Kimmel break up (remember this baller move from her Emmy acceptance speech?), but I haven’t checked out her Comedy Central show in a long time or seen her do stand up. I think the closest thing to her work that I’ve seen her do recently was this video, and I wasn’t too crazy about that. So where do we stand on Sarah now? I need to hear your opinions to help me make up my mind.