6Beyoncé and Jay-Z Skipped the Oscars to Have Dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker

From The New York Post:

Jay-Z and Beyoncé missed the Oscars, and instead had dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker in New York on Sunday night. The music power couple joined the “Sex and the City” star and five others for a long meal at Freemans on the Lower East Side. “They completely blew off the Oscars,” said a source, adding, “They didn’t even have it on a TV screen. They were there until well after 1 a.m. with their friends, laughing and eating.” Bey’s sister Solange, however, was seen partying at Vanity Fair’s LA bash.

I love that this is a story, and that Beyoncé and Jay-Z deciding not to go to the Oscars is seen as a personal insult to the entire Academy Awards. I mean, they didn’t even watch it! Take that, Oscars! I suppose adding insult to injury is the fact that they were having dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker instead (weird combination, don’t you think?), but for the record, SJP is a really nice lady – and a very, very tiny one, as it were.

I have to say – I don’t blame Bey & Jay for skipping out on the Oscars, for the following reasons:

1. It’s in LA. Los Angeles blows – the traffic, the weather… I’ll pass. (Sorry, Angelinos!)

2. You have to get dressed in fancy things, wear Spanx and get your hair & makeup done – sweatpants with one leg cut to fit the leg cast you had on for 6 weeks and a stained Napoleon Dynamite hoodie that you got for $5 at Kohl’s back in 2002 won’t cut it. (Yes, that’s my wardrobe right now.)

3. So long! You have to walk the red carpet and smile and stop for pictures and then, when that’s finally over, you have to go inside and sit through a whole long ceremony that’s never funny and features mostly people you don’t give a shit about. Ugh, is it over yet?

4. There are after-parties, which you’re expected to attend when all you really want to do is have your limo driver stop at the McDonald’s drive-thru before going back to your hotel room, pulling the black-out curtains and watching a Sandra Bullock movie on TNT while eating your chicken nuggets in peace.

I rest my case.

February 27, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

23Kristen Stewart Is The Least Sexy Hollywood Actress

Sure, Kristen Stewart‘s face constantly looks like she just smelled an old shitty diaper, but I don’t think she’s an unattractive girl at all. However, British men don’t agree with me, as a recent poll run by the website MenKind put her at the top of a list of the least sexy actresses in Hollywood.

The full Top 10 list is as follows:

1. Kristen Stewart
2. Sarah Jessica Parker
3. Lindsay Lohan
4. Denise Richards
5. Kirsten Dunst
6. Mischa Barton
7. Hilary Swank
8. Lucy Liu
9. Tilda Swinton
10. Uma Thurman

Alright, you got me on the rest, there – none of them are remotely attractive to me (but as I said earlier this morning – different strokes, different folks). I just would have thought men might like Kristen’s “leave me alone” lip snarl she constantly seems to be doing. Shows what I know about what men like (thank God).

A spokesperson for the MenKind (via MTV News) explained the results of the poll as follows:

“Our Oscars poll has been a fascinating insight into the minds of British men – it’s shown that sexiness is far more than appearance.

“They were turned off by volatile and moody actresses as well as ice queens. And they don’t want to see unhealthily skinny starlets on the big screen.”

Word – it’s nice to see a move away from unhealthily skinny figures and a celebration of something “far more than appearance”, like, I don’t know, actual substance, intelligence, sense of humour or whatever else. It’s just a shame those didn’t matter more before.

February 20, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

4Sarah Jessica Parker Says “No Thanks” to a ‘Carrie Diaries’ Appearance

Listen, don’t act like you didn’t watch and love Sex and the City back in its heyday. The terrible puns, the over-the-top storylines, Big… ah, it was great in its heyday. Then the movies came around and sort of ruined everything, but whatever. Since the show’s stars don’t really want a Sex and the City 3: F-cking Our Way to the Retirement Home, someone got the bright idea to make a prequel – because we all care about Carrie Bradshaw as a teenaged harpy – and bring it to the world’s classiest TV network, The CW.

The Carrie Diaries seems like it’d be terrible in every way possible, and it is, but also… it’s not? It’s embarrassingly kinda good, if you look at it as a totally different entity from the original show. AnnaSophia Robb plays a young Carrie and has all the cloying ugh-ness that the adult Carrie does, so at least it’s true to the character. You might think Sarah Jessica Parker would be thrilled to make an appearance on The Carrie Diaries as… something. In a flash-forward scene or something? Anyway, think no further: she’s not feeling it.

From The National Enquirer:

“Sarah doesn’t need the money and wasn’t sure appearing on the show would be the right career move,” an insider told National Enquirer. “It would be like taking a step backward. So she’s said goodbye to Carrie forever. Plus, who wants to be compared to a teenager?”

The Carrie Diaries has already hit screens in America and AnnaSophie admits she felt nervous when the day dawned.

She was even concerned about what Sarah Jessica would make of the show, which made a move by the older actress even sweeter for the young star.

“[Sarah Jessica Parker] sent me a very lovely note just kind of giving me her blessing and encouraging me and telling me how excited she was and how dear the part was to her, and so that was huge for me because, you know, I was obviously nervous,” AnnaSophia recently explained. “I was, like, ‘Is this OK?’ And so it just meant a lot to be able to have her blessing.”

I like picturing Sarah Jessica Parker as a saint who walks around blessing people and things she approves of and tapping them with a bejeweled Alexander McQueen scepter or something. Can’t say I blame her on this one.

February 12, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer

5Helen Mirren Looks to ‘America’s Next Top Model’ For Fashion Inspiration

Helen Mirren is a film legend, so she could show up at an awards show in a paper bag with a mop end for a wig and old KFC buckets for shoes and no one could say shit because she’s doing her and has earned the right to do so. She didn’t quite go that far at last night’s BAFTAs in London, but she did take a popular hair trend to the pensioner set by dyeing her hair a lovely shade of bubblegum pink, an idea she got from… an unlikely source, shall we say.

From People:

“I saw it on America’s Next Top Model, so I decided to have a go.”

First of all, I love that Helen Mirren watches America’s Next Top Model – I didn’t realise anyone still did. Second of all, I love that she has such a buck wild spirit that she didn’t think twice about heading to Katy Perry town with her locks. And while it’s a bit unusual, it certainly doesn’t look bad. I wish I could get away with pink hair, but it’s just not happening. Helen’s move was especially risky considering the BAFTAs are full of British people who aren’t really into bullshit and really are into class, fanciness and sexy accents.

In any case, the BAFTAs red carpet was chock full of stars, from Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman and Ben Affleck to Samuel L. Jackson, Jessica Chastain and more. Check out a gallery from last night’s red carpet below:

February 11, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

11Love It or Leave It: Sarah Jessica Parker Is The Worst

Look, I get comfort. I love comfort. A couple of months ago, I found one pair of jeans that turned out to be amazingly comfortable, and then I promptly bought three more pairs of the exact same jeans. Right now I’m wearing my pajama pants, a pajama shirt, a sweatshirt, and a sweater, and it’s not all that cute, but it’s comfortable as hell. I get it. I support it.

But there’s a difference between something that’s comfortable and something that’s an abomination. Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing something that is an abomination.

This is the definition of “too early for this shit.”

November 8, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

13Who Is The Highest Paid Actress in Hollywood?

Oh, you guys, I’m sorry. When I asked the question of “who is the highest paid actress in Hollywood?” and then put a picture of Meryl Streep right up there at the top, that made it look like Meryl is the highest paid actress, didn’t it? I’m sorry, but it’s just not true. Meryl is on the list, but she’s not at the top. She deserves to be at the top, but she’s not.

Before I let you know the richiest rich lady in Hollywood, let me just show you the top ten list, all right? I’ll go ahead and tack on the amount of money they made in the past year, just so you can cry while you balance your checkbook like I do.

10. Jennifer Aniston – $11 million
9. Kristen Wiig – $12 million
8. Meryl Streep – $12 million
7. Sarah Jessica Parker – $15 million
6. Julia Roberts – $16 million
5. Charlize Theron – $18 million
4. Angelina Jolie – $20 million
3. Sandra Bullock – $25 million
2. Cameron Diaz – $34 million

Ok, but who do you think landed in the number one spot? Who do you think made nearly three times as much as the beloved Meryl Streep? Who do you think made a few million dollars more than Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston combined?

1. Kristen Stewart – $34.5 million

Yes, thanks to them Twilight movies and Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart is the top-earning actress in all of Hollywood. Does anyone else feel physically ill?

June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily