Okay, I might have to kill myself. Really. Ryan Gosling is like, my man. There’s a whole slew of male celebrities that I find to be uber-attractive, but Gosling tops the list. Then Adrien Brody, then Bear Grylls … the rest is just fluff.
Have you heard of the new movie, Blue Valentine? Cool fucking story. Gosling and Williams filmed this movie — no lie — last spring in the town in which I last lived, Honesdale, Pennsylvania. I remember hearing that Gosling was coming to town and was completely depressed that I wasn’t going to be around to see him or meet him or rape him, because I was moving, like, two weeks after they were to commence filming. The whole (tiny) town was abuzz — it was as if they’d never seen celebrities before, but that wasn’t true. An older movie, Wet, Hot, American Summer was filmed there, too, sometime back in 2001 or something.
Anyway, I was totally just getting off on the fact that I was sharing the same town as my mega-celeb crush, Ryan Gosling and it, to that point, was enough for me. I was ready to pack up and leave the little town behind me, sans-seeing Ryan Gosling and be okay with it. I’d made my peace.
However, the early, early morning I was set to embark upon my 5+ hour drive south, I had to go into town and gas up the old vehicle. Driving down a dark side street, I slowed to see some blockades illuminated by spotlights on one of the crossways. I bit my lip and said a quick prayer that they were, indeed, shooting some scenes for Blue Valentine. And guess what. They fucking were. I drove (verrrrry, verryyyy) slowly past the scene and caught my first-person glimpse of Ryan Gosling, and I’ll never forget it: he wore a flannel button-down shirt and dark pants, had about six weeks worth the growth of facial hair and wore a faded baseball cap. Though it was about 3 or 4 AM and still wicked dark, I had gotten my wish: to see Ryan Gosling in person. Lame, lame, I know. Whatever.
The movie, which premiered at the Cannes Film Festival this past week (the initial premiere was at the Sundance Festival back in January), was said to open to rave reviews. I totally want to see it, just because I used to live there. Oh, yeah, and because Ryan Gosling’s in it. The movie was said to be such a hit because the chemistry between the two main characters, played by Gosling and Michelle Williams, was thick enough to cut with a dull butter knife. The on-screen couple were also said to be quite cozy at Cannes, holding hands and … gulp … nuzzling. And People magazine is claiming rumors about love on the set to be true:
“You know actors who meet on movie sets,” [People's exclusive source] said. “It can be the most romantic place in the world.”
The most romantic place in the world. Honesdale, Pennsylvania. Where I briefly lived for three years. Forty miles east of my hometown of Scranton (yeah, home of The Office). See what happens? I fucking move away and Ryan Gosling falls in love in Honesdale, Pennsylvania. Why not me, God? Why not me?